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I bifurcated the tip of my thumb.

Posted 04-16-2009 at 02:48 PM by Disgruntled Intern
Okay, so it wasn't a complete bifurcation. But pretty damned close.

Two days ago I was in the process of building a rather large hutch for our rabbit, Floppy Puff-Puff. This involved using my Dad's old table saw.

In addition to being old and rarely used, it lacks a guard.

Anyway, as I was cutting a piece of wood, I sneezed. This wasn't one of those 'oh god my nose sure does tickle. I bet I'll sneeze soon' sneezes. Oh no. This was one of those 'my nose is full of saw dust' completely sudden, body ravaging sneezes.

So, naturally, my thumb threw itself into the circulating blade. Had I not lowered the blade to it's lowest possible setting, I probably would have lost my thumb. As it were, the blade passed through the tip of my thumb parallel to the bone. It entered through the bottom and came out of my finger nail, which pretty much split it down the middle. But that wasn't good enough. The spinning blade then pushed the right half of what used to be my thumb nail deep into my nail bed. I had to cut it off at the cuticle and tweeze it out.

Luckily, I went into mild shock, because it didn't really hurt. So, yeah. Didn't hurt then. Hurts a lot now.

I had some surgical grade super glue in my medical kit, so I washed my finger off, and glued it back together. This makes me metal. It's healing rapidly. No signs of infection, and the swelling is gone.

We didn't take pictures when it happened because my Dad was asleep, my Mom was crying, and Dorian was disgusted. I'll make Dorian take some tonight, though it's not half as gruesome as what it was.
Total Comments 13

Comments

Hobo's Avatar
Your life sounds exciting.
Posted 04-16-2009 at 03:18 PM by Hobo

MA's Avatar
So you sawed your thumb in half? Jesus. Also, send me some of that glue, it could come in handy, honestly.
Posted 04-16-2009 at 03:47 PM by MA

Anonyman!'s Avatar
Sure, I'm sure he won't mind.

Seriously, what was the fucking purpose of that comment? What good could possibly come out of it? Cunt.
Posted 04-16-2009 at 08:13 PM by Anonyman!

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Medical knowledge sounds more and more practical.
Posted 04-16-2009 at 11:13 PM by Mac Sirloin

OddjobAbe's Avatar
I almost did a similar thing once, only it involved a chainsaw and my ear. Luckily, it only chopped a very small part of my lobule, so it obviously wasn't as bad an injury as yours.

But yes, saws can be buggers when combined with sawdust (which, unfortunately, is unavoidable).
Posted 04-17-2009 at 01:51 AM by OddjobAbe

shaman's Avatar
Floppy puff puff!
Posted 04-17-2009 at 04:23 AM by shaman

MA's Avatar
Anonyman! is the new hard man, everyone take a fucking bow.

go and wank over your sister, prick.
Posted 04-17-2009 at 04:48 AM by MA

Anonyman!'s Avatar
I'm an only child.


D.I.

Yeah, I've never had to gone through anything like that. I'm a pussy. Scars are cool though, so you'll be all right.



Plus, wasn't he a hospital aid thing? He would know what to do if that was the case.
Posted 04-17-2009 at 05:24 AM by Anonyman!
Updated 04-17-2009 at 05:26 AM by Anonyman!

T-nex's Avatar
Ooof I cant stand reading about these things. Im too squirmy

But anyway that sounds fucked as hell :S Hope your thumb heals well, and thank god for being a nurse huh? D= If you still are...
Posted 04-17-2009 at 07:31 AM by T-nex

OANST's Avatar
I passed out half way through your story. You're a real fucking man.
Posted 04-17-2009 at 07:47 AM by OANST

Disgruntled Intern's Avatar
For the record, super glue can be used in situations like this. The 'medical grade' varient is still super glue. They just add an anti microbial agent, call it something else, and sell it to hospitals and the like for around seventy five dollars a tube.


EDIT: Okay, so I was off. Apparently it's sold to hospitals for around four hundred dollars a tube. You can find it in a lot of survivalist stores for around sixty, though.
Posted 04-17-2009 at 09:05 AM by Disgruntled Intern
Updated 04-17-2009 at 11:06 AM by Disgruntled Intern

alf's brother's mate's Avatar
I stubbed my thumb but I didn't hack it...

I wish I was as beef as you.

ABM
Posted 04-17-2009 at 09:31 AM by alf's brother's mate

Oddey's Avatar
I have a teacher who caught his thumb in a bike chain and had to have it amputated. Damn I'm glad I don't spend time around saws or bikes.
Posted 04-17-2009 at 11:37 AM by Oddey

 

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