I bifurcated the tip of my thumb.
Okay, so it wasn't a complete bifurcation. But pretty damned close.
Two days ago I was in the process of building a rather large hutch for our rabbit, Floppy Puff-Puff. This involved using my Dad's old table saw.
In addition to being old and rarely used, it lacks a guard.
Anyway, as I was cutting a piece of wood, I sneezed. This wasn't one of those 'oh god my nose sure does tickle. I bet I'll sneeze soon' sneezes. Oh no. This was one of those 'my nose is full of saw dust' completely sudden, body ravaging sneezes.
So, naturally, my thumb threw itself into the circulating blade. Had I not lowered the blade to it's lowest possible setting, I probably would have lost my thumb. As it were, the blade passed through the tip of my thumb parallel to the bone. It entered through the bottom and came out of my finger nail, which pretty much split it down the middle. But that wasn't good enough. The spinning blade then pushed the right half of what used to be my thumb nail deep into my nail bed. I had to cut it off at the cuticle and tweeze it out.
Luckily, I went into mild shock, because it didn't really hurt. So, yeah. Didn't hurt then. Hurts a lot now.
I had some surgical grade super glue in my medical kit, so I washed my finger off, and glued it back together. This makes me metal. It's healing rapidly. No signs of infection, and the swelling is gone.
We didn't take pictures when it happened because my Dad was asleep, my Mom was crying, and Dorian was disgusted. I'll make Dorian take some tonight, though it's not half as gruesome as what it was.