The Non-Bush Modern US Politician Joke Thread.

[Patrick Vykkers]

Since W is, in my opinion, an overly abused politician in terms of humour, let's make some jokes about US politicians that aren't Bush. The only restriction is that they have to be active in 2000 or later. Otherwise, they can be Democrats, Republicans, Big C Constitutionalists, Big L Libertarians, Independents, Greens, or Ron Paul.

I'll start;
What does John Kerry wear at the beach?
Thongs.
What do you call a movie with Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann?
Dumb and Dumber.
What do Mark Foley's sexual escapades and a book have in common?
They both have lots of pages.
What do you get when you cross Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden?
A self supporting black Arab.
What happened when a gay pride parade marched past Duncan Hunter's house?
Dunkin Gonuts
What happened when Ted Rall merged with a pile of urine and feces?
He got cleaner.
What do you get when you cross a fundamentalist lead GOP and Harry Potter?
Dobbyson the House Speaker.
What created Rosie O'Donnel?
Unintelligent design.
What happened when Dennis Kucinich traveled back in time?
He saw a Chamberlain speech, and got mentally stuck, thinking he had gone back before and created a temporal paradox.
What do you get when you cross Rudy Giuliani and Hitler?
A lesbian Eva Braun.
How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3. 1 Democrat to unscrew it and claim he actually did screw in that light bulb before he unscrewed it, then to later deny he screwed that lightbulb. 1 Republican to object to the threat to lighting same sex screwing provides, then to screw in the lightbulb over the Internet, and 1 Independent to just screw everything.

If you wish to troll, then I will simply put you on my ignore list.

[Nate]

Meh. We generally try not to be country-specific in these forums.

EDIT: Alcar says this thread can remain open if you add some porn.

[Flamefox]

Our President looks like a man, for goodness sake. I would rather have Bush.
Who’s a she-male?
Helen Clark.
Lol, I hate her. She is a liar, and raises Taxes for the ’poor’.

[Nate]

...

I guess the education system in Noo Zilland is not quite good enough so that you'd know the difference between a Prime Minister and a President, eh?

[Alcar]

I quite like Helen Clark. Better than Mr J Howard.

Alcar...

[Flamefox]

*shurgs* I do know, but I dont care. I dont like her.
President, Prime Minster, close enough. Political at least.

[LadySlig]

Our President looks like a man, for goodness sake. I would rather have Bush.
Who’s a she-male?
Helen Clark.
Lol, I hate her. She is a liar, and raises Taxes for the ’poor’.

LMAO Oh my God, havent heard that before.
She-male...yeah, she is umm...interesting to view. Its just her voice that puts me off. AND her empty promises, like that so-called free child care. Yeah, its so free when you have to pay for it.
Oh, and nate_dog_woof its New Zealand. Not Noo Zilland.

[Leto]

I didn't know OWF was quite so full of filthy sheepshaggers.

I should be ashamed.

[looney-bin]

What do you call it when Patrick makes a political thread?
Shit.

I R TEH FUNI YET?

[Havoc]

Well I have a nice joke but it does involve bush so... sue me.

So we all remember when America was being run by three people named Bush, Dick and Collin... or Collan. I'm not making it up. President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Collan Powel.

But you know at least America can go and look at the rest of the world and go; "Well at least we know where our priorities are... We want to ****... everyone!!"

But you know... start looking to deep into this kinda stuff and it just gets freaky. Like... when George Bush and Collan Powel get into a disagreement over some major issue and the vice president had to pick who he was gonna go with, would Dick have to chose between Bush and Collan?
Would he have to decide if he would get behind Bush... or back up Collan...?

"Oh I'm gonna have to go with Collan because he's got a much tighter grip on the situation... and... Bush just doesn't have a position I can get into..."



Yea it's a thinker...

[Patrick Vykkers]

Man, Colin Powell humping Bush is one mental image I'd rather not think about.

Ariel Sharon humping Yaser Arafat's corpse on the other hand..

[Nate]

I think that last one is a bit too Weekend At Bernie's for me. For both individuals involved...