So it's been on my mind for quite some time and I've never seen anyone use this argument, but Jesus was definitely the first pirate, and the Bible does condone piracy.

One of the miracles Jesus did was copying five loaves of bread and two fish to feed 5000 people because neither he nor his disciples could afford such a large amount of food. Doing that, he did not steal anything from a baker nor fisherman, but inevitably, he caused severe harm to the