The Inside Job

[oddveteran93]

Ok, here's my first fictional story. It's not about oddworld, it's set in the future. Don't worry if you don't get the storyline because you'll get it eventually. Ok, here goes:

The Inside Job

Chapter I

"I was like you before. I wore the same mask and uniform; had the same rifle; did the same thing every day. It gets lonely doesn't it?"

The guard stopped briefly, then continued dragging me along. He was breathing heavily, the poor man was sick. The standard guard uniform was connected to the person's brain implant. It helped fight common dieseases but not alot.

We walked through the concrete corridor passing small cells now and then. The eyes of the prisoners were watching me. I looked at them. I could see the despair in their eyes, the hatred, and the pain.

"Here's your cell" the guard said in a deep voice. It sounded familiar.

"I think I know you from somewhere" I said to him. I was trying to remember, of course, I had saved an old man earlier (which is why I was being imprisoned in the first place). His name was James Brown. He must've been the gurads relative because their voices sounded the same.

"Do you know someone called James Brown?" I asked him eagerly.

The guard took his mask off. He looked exactly like James.

"Of course, he's my father" he responded curiously. "How do you know him Peter?"

Peter, my real name. It had been months since someone called me by my real name. The Superiors gave us numbers for names. I was Officer #5A886352, well I was Prisoner #5A886352 now.

"Well you father was getting beat up by a patrol of Superiors' Troopers. I couldn't take it anymore. I shot them all and allowed your father to escape. Don't you even know why you have to take me to a prisoner cell?" I said angrily.

The guard was shocked. I saw could see the anger on his face, but also happyness.

"You, let him escape? You should expect torture and regular beatings now, but not from me. Thank you for saving him!" he said happily.

"You could help me too" I said desperately. "Please. We can get the rest of the guards and attack the Superiors from the inside. We can destroy the Fortress once and for all! Please!"

The guard looked up at a security camera which was following our actions. He pushed me insinde the cell.

"Sorry Peter, it's not time yet." he said sighing. He pretended to punch me in the stomach but actually sneaked an apple into me pocket. "I'm really sorry" he said once again looking at the security camera. He pushed me to the ground and closed the door.

I sat in a dark corner where the camera couldn't monitor me and started eating the apple. I was thinking about how this whole mess happened, everything started going bad from the beggining I guess.

End of Chapter I

Ok, long post. Any questions or comments?

[Munch's Master]

Good start. You've set up a feeling of mystery and intrigue around it all. Looking forward to the next chapter(s).

[used:)]

Wow, this is actually pretty frickin sweet in my eyes. I have been hoping for someone to produce a story that has the dark feeling of Oddworld and not be stupid.

kUd0s 2 u

[oddveteran93]

Thanks guys. I'll post the next chapter later today if I have time.

UPDATE (17/04/06)

Ok since I don't wanna double post I'll post the next chapter here under this update thing I just invented.


Chapter II

'Where did it all go wrong?', I kept asking myself. I tried to think back as far as I could. My head started aching badly. It was the damn brain implant. Everyone who was found by the Superiors had one. The implants were used for medical and identifical purposes mostly, but they were used to create painful electrical shocks as well. It was a way to punish prisoners, or to wake up lazy workers.

I returned to my other thoughts now. I guess the first important thing that happened was the creation of the LX-206 communication probe. I had no idea why it was called LX-206. I guess that the people who invented it were allowed to give it a "geeky name". Communication probes were invented in early 2015. The were large droids that were shot into space and floated randomly at high speed. They sent loud noises of all frequencies in all directions and waited for a reponse from other parts of the universe and sent the information back to Earth. It was just another way of screaming "HEY IS ANYONE OUT THERE?" in space, but probably more efficient.

The LX-206 was one of these probes but it was much more efficient and powerful. It was very resistant, it was much smaller and much louder. Hunndreds of them were shot into space by huge cannons. The LX-206 was special because it had the power to achieve light speed. This was very important because otherwise it would take hundreds of years to send messsages and get responses. Only the small LX-206 could achive light speed because it was the perfect size (about as big as a computer screen), it was made out of a special alloy to protect it against almost anything and the messages of different frequencies could also travel at the speed of light. Sadly, bigger objects could not be built to travel at the speed of light because experts say that they would require too much power and if humans would surely die. These so called experts didn't explain how, maybe they didn't want anyone to travel at the speed of light.

In about 2031, Earth finally got a response, after so much waiting. Whoever responded wasn't much more advanced than us. They sent back mathematical codes which were quickly decyphered into a few sentences:

"We would like to meet your race. Please follow the instruction (which were included in the message) and build a matter portal for us, somewhere above your planet. Expect a large fleet bunt do not worry. We mean no harm."

People laughed and cheered like idiots after hearing the message. I think I was about 20 at the time. I knew I should've been happy or excited but I wasn't. I felt something bad was going to happen from the beggining. People analized the message differently. Some thought the message was just a publicity stunt. Some said that this "portal" which the Earth should should spend millions on was just going to explode and kill us all. Some said the exact opposite. I didn't know what to believe, and I didn't really care.

The world leaders had many meetings and eventually decided to build this potal after all. Fools.

(THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED TO ANSWER SUPER MUNCH'S QUESTION)

[oddveteran93]

Sorry for double posting but...come on. No more comments, does my story really suck that badly? Don't make me post another chapter in the same post.

[used:)]

Pretty cool, but there are osme lfaws in your tchnology used. First of all, could you please explain how frequencies could possible stretch across a patch of stars when it takes light 300 years to reach earth from the nearest star? And I think you should place your shcracters in a higher time, definately NOT as small as 2015.

Sorry if I jabbered on a bit, interesting writing story though, just try and lengthen your chapters a bit.

[Leto]

but there are osme lfaws

I literally fell on the floor crying with laughter at that. Was it intentional?

The sad truth, oddveteran, is that few people venture to NOA&L, and even less comment... It's a tough game.

[used:)]

I literally fell on the floor crying with laughter at that. Was it intentional?

The sad truth, oddveteran, is that few people venture to NOA&L, and even less comment... It's a tough game.

It's this damn typosis I got from that hooker on Main Street.

[oddveteran93]

The sad truth, oddveteran, is that few people venture to NOA&L, and even less comment... It's a tough game.

True, the NOA&L is very underrated and taken for granted. Anyway I'll post the next chapter later today.

first of all, could you please explain how frequencies could possible stretch across a patch of stars when it takes light 300 years to reach earth from the nearest star?

Very good question. **runs away**

UPDATE 20/04/06

Ok, I'll start ch 3 now:

Chapter III

The portal was finished in 2036. I was one of the first people to see it. The portal was built near the Nova II space station. An observation deck was added to the station so people could pay about five thousand dollars and look at the potal. The construction of the portal took so long because it had to be constructed in space which was not easy. The Nova II space station became quite popular. It was a house to engineers, contruction workers and it was also used as a storage facility for materials and construction ships.

I was given a free ticket to see the constructed poratal and take a tour of the station because I worked as a pilot. I had been working for nine years. I worked as a commercial pilot mostly, carrying people around the world. Once, my services were solicited by the USAF for an intelligence mission. I once even had the honour of piloting England's Prime Minister's private jet.

At the age of 24 I started working as a space pilot, carrying workers and heavy materials for the portal. When I looked at the huge portal from the observation deck I couldn't believe how magnificent it was. It was much bigger than the station itself. It had the shape of a hexagon and had a huge empty circle in the middle. It was like a hoop. The portal was attached to the station and could be de-attached and move around by itself. There were five huge generators on the sides which pointed to the middle. They were powered by extremely concentrated kerosene mixed with another substance which the government didn't want to reveal.

I remember the excitment I felt, standing there with other pilots, workers scientists, presidents, leaders and a few soldiers. We were there for one reason; to watch the alien fleet come through the gate. We would then go back to Earth and greet them. It was a huge honour. A message was sent though a LX-206 that we would keep the gate open until thwenty ships came through. No more than that because we would probably run out of fuel.

I had to admit; I was also scared. The portal could self destruct and kill us all like one of the military leaders said. Or a ship could get stuck in the portal. No it couldn't happen. It was a stupid thought.

I directed my attention to the portal as some lights came on. This was it. A ring started spinning and he generators started powering up. The ring spun faster and faster and the generators shot out a strange bluish field which looked like a think liquid. The portal now had a blue center and the lights were just a blur. The station started shaking violently and the lights went out. I heard a loud noise and I felt a huge force push me away. I fell on my back along with everyone else.

The lights went back on and I got up on my feet. The portal stopped spinning and was silent now. The blue field was gone All the staition's guns and cannons were pointing at something. I noticed that people were looking at something too, in the same direction. I looked too and remained silent. There was a huge, dark green space craft and about fifteen small ones floating around it.

[oddveteran93]

Chapter IV

The spacecraft was huge and very long. It was shaped like a zeppelin and it had a huge viewing window and four huge guns on the sides. It had a few lights and the sides of the actual craft looked very smooth. The small ships had the smae coulour, an emerald dark green. They flew around a bit and returned to the mother ship. After a few minutes a small ship came out again and started going towards Earth.

We took a transport ship back to Earth and we landed near the beacon that was set up for the visitors. I got off the transport ship and pushed through a huge crowd to get to the front. The beacon was located just outside New York (the government probably wanted to show off one of the biggest cities on Earth). It was very big and round, like a helipad, but much bigger. There were a lot of blue and red lights.It was set up on a large field near a few buildings. There were snipers on the roof, tanks and a few hundred soldiers. The security was pretty tight. Even though most people weren't expecting an attack, we had to be sure.

The green ship eventually lowered itself carefully onto the beacon. It was shaped like a semi-circle and was powered by a couple of thrusters. The whole country was there, well almost anywhere. A sea of excited people. Helicopters floating around, cameramen trying to film from every angle, new reporters and al the soldiers pointing their rifles at the ship.

A ramp was lowere onto the ground and a small droid came down. It whirred and started sucking some air in. It whirred a bit and made a beep after which it returned to the ship. The tension was killing me. What were they doing? After five minutes people started getting frustrated, then a loud noise was heard. A gate opened and three tall figures came down. The ramp was closed and they started looking around. They came closer to us. One of the aliens was wearing a long brown robe and had a couple of neclklaces. He seemed to be important because the other two wore long black masks and green military suits. They had long, strange-looking rifles. It was amazing, they looked pretty human. They were a bit taller but had two legs, two arms and a head. Their head was longer and had an oval shape. Their eyes were the same as ours, exactly the same. Their mouth didn't have lips but they had normal teeth (as I noticed when one of the alien soldiers started smiling). They all had long black hair which made them look pretty normal.

No-one said anything. A group of world leaders approached them. The imporant alien took one step forward and bowed followed by the two soldiers. The world leaders bowed too and shook hands with the aliens.The soldiers and snipers put their guns on the ground as a sign of peace.

"Echesto", the main alien said in a calm voice, smiling. "Fexis" he said pointing to himself.

"Hello there", Joseph Crayn (the ambasador of Earth) replied. "I'm Joseph, nice to meet you Fexis. We wish you peace. There's much we can discuss."

Fexis didn't seem to understand. A translator started writing this in mathematical code which the aliens understood. A small hatch onpened ir the shipa nd something small flew out. It was some kind of bird. It had very long blue feathers and a sharp beak. The bird flew around and landed on an oak nearby. It started singing heavenly. I still remember the happyness and peace I felt then, and the anger and unrest I felt just a year later.

[oddveteran93]

Wow, this thread is truly going downhill. I'll post one more chapter then I'll give up. No one looks in the NOA&l section anymore... For shame

[oddveteran93]

Eh, this thread's gone to hell. Oh well. Feel free to delete this mods cuz I'm not posting any more chapters. bye