Your Sex Life In 2013

[MeechMunchie]

MOD EDIT: This thread was split off from Bits 'n' Pieces.

One is a fat, waddling, wheezy dog, one-time champion, now a grey-muzzled, dim-eyed has-been and, walking ten respectful paces behind him, another grey-muzzled, dim-eyed has-been of a man, both are the discards of one woman.

So... I'm going to end up with my ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.

[Vyrien]

...and found the campanologists beneath their ropes.

I'm going to end up in a BDSM relationship with someone who is an expert on bells?

Teehee.

[Wings of Fire]

The living room's lavish TP receives also the spontaneous dissemination of the InterLace Subscription Pulse-Matrix, but the procedures for ordering specific spontaneous pulses from the service are so technologically and cryptographically complex that the attache has always left the whole business to his wife.

I think I'm going to need a psychoanalyst for this one.

[Phylum]

Mine was a book called Mathematics.

To work this out with pencil and paper would take human beings centuries.

From a section about how scientists used computers to do calculations for the Moon landing.

[Manco]

Just as the distances between letters and words can be too great, so too much or too little leading can adversely affect the optical picture of the typography, discourage the reader and, consciously or unconsciously, set up psychological barriers.

Um

[Varrok]

Most of the NSA divisions work seven days a week...

Can't wait.

[MeechMunchie]

Sound's like Phylum's girlfriend is into some really weird stuff.

[Dynamithix]

She felt a tightness in her chest as her biomonitor's active response system released protein threads into her bloodstream, racing to the source of the injury.

oh shit

[Crashpunk]

"Come on. She'll never know, Todd. I'm yours for the taking."

Well that didn't work.

[Wings of Fire]

Oh, if graphic novels count then...

Mina, he isn't human!

That's a lot simpler.

[Varrok]

Well that didn't work.

That's three sentences. You need one. The third one.

[Bullet Magnet]

It's all about theory and putting theory into practice.

Wonderful.

[OddjobAbe]

It was very famous.

Things are looking up.

I don't mind Herb Bermann, but he's one of those old beatniks with a slightly pretentious air that makes me laugh (and maybe he's a bit obscure).

[Nepsotic]

I worked at a recording studio where I made cassettes.

Sounds about right.

[Jbot123]

Planet Tad by Tim Carvell
Today was the first day of my new mustache.

[MeechMunchie]

Looks like someone's got a talented tongue.

[Phylum]

Sound's like Phylum's girlfriend is into some really weird stuff.

I figured it just alluded to scale. Women can't resist a good beard.

[Nate]

He's not the only one either.

Is that referring to my partner, or me in the third person?

[Oddey]

The nearest book to me was a dictionary and a thesaurus. I deigned that both weren't really suitable, so instead, I went for my English guide book which was probably closer anyway.

Many poems evoke a mood or create an image; some draw the reader's attention to the sound of words.

I don't think it's particularly better than the dictionary at all.

As a backup, I also chose a collection of Katherine Mansfield stories.

"Do you feel it, too," said Linda, and she spoke to her mother with the special voice that women use at night to each other as though they spoke in their sleep or from some hollow cave-"Don't you feel that it is coming towards us?"

I'm not sure I really want to think about that too much.

[Littleleeroy]

Originally Posted by Misery, Stephen King
Something had happened when he was asleep, someone had come,...

That sounds fun ahaha

[Nate]

Given that the nearest book to me was actually the leftmost book in the middle shelf of a bookshelf, I decided to check out the leftmost books in the other shelves. The books on the top two shelves had pictures on page 35. Shelf four had:

In addition to the Aztec and Inca treasure, a further source of riches was discovered in 1545.

... which I think means I'm going to be sleeping with several Latino guys, and they're going to be hot.

The lowest shelf had a magazine in it:

"It's a hot engine," said Trevor.

I entirely agree.

[STM]

Originally posted by Paradise Lost, Book II:
Doubtless!

Fantastic, my sex life is finally going to pick up again after a rather long interregnum.

Or, if we're being a little bit more (conservatively) prescriptivist in our approach to what we consider a sentence (and also consider that different books write this bit differently):

Originally posted by Paradise Lost, Book II:
While we dream,
And know not that the King of Heav'n hath doomed
This place our dungeon, not our safe retreat
Beyond his potent arm, to live exempt
From Heaven's high jurisdiction, in new league
Banded against his throne, but to remain
In strictest bondage, though thus far removed,
Under th' inevitable curb, reserved
His captive multitude.

I tried to eke out some sort of BDSM fantasy here through the 'captive multitude' and 'strictest bondage' but I think it's a stretch. Shame though, I just got a pair of handcuffs that would come in useful for such things. >w>

[Slog Bait]

The only book I have near me is Go, Dog. Go!

There isn't a third sentence on page 35. Only

Dogs at play. "Play, dogs, play!"

[Jbot123]

Sounds intriguing....

[Ridg3]

I insisted mine was best and went off to find a judge.

Why am I in a predicament that involves two sausages?

[Vyrien]

I have some interesting news for you.

[Wings of Fire]

Why am I in a predicament that involves two sausages?

As the only person I know who 'gets' Frankie Boyle's sense of humour, is that any good?

[Ridg3]

I honestly don't know what you mean with that, sorry.

@Vyrien; Don't spoil it for me.

[Wings of Fire]

I honestly don't know what you mean with that, sorry.

@Vyrien; Don't spoil it for me.

The book. My Shit Life So Far is Frankie Boyle's autobiography. I'm assuming the closest book to you is one you are reading and asking you if it is any good.

[moxco]

The Iliad

They had come in thirty hollow ships.

I don't know what Homer's implying.