WARNING: The following chapter in Hans and Sven Do a Sequel is EXTREMELY violent and hopefully very offensive. If you don't read it, you will miss out. -Sal the Mudokon
Chapter Something - "The Chapter Jokes are Getting Old"
"Go, and remember, Giovanni," said the large man in his firmly pressed white suit, "I'm not giving you a second chance."
"Yeah, sir," replied Giovanni as he stepped out of the huge run-down factory and into his stolen sports car. He backed out of the parking lot and shot towards the main road.
It was a dark, run down neighborhood with broken street lights and bum's/hookers/clowns around every corner. Obviously a dangerous place. Giovanni squeeled the tires against the road as he pulled a tight turn, only to find a large clown, baiting a hook mooning him. Like I said: Hookers/Bums/Clowns around every corner.
Soon the car sped over the dark, dirty street into the freeway and the lightless, seedy world where he was coming from was replaced with a thousand bright signs, hookers, tourists, hookers, family vacation spots, hookers, swank hotels, hookers, casinos, and even a hooker or two. No, he wasn't in Belgium. He was in Vegas(An suburb of Belgium)! Where there's all the acohol you could screw and the hookers never stop flowing.
In case I didn't previously mention, there were hookers here. Giovanni seemed to grasp this thought also as he passed by a large flock of hooker. One of them, he would be spending a bit more time with. He found the one he was looking for, a small sickly one that would be easy to catch, and descended upon his prey.
Giovanni jumped out of the moving vehicle and viciously tackled a scantly clad woman in a boa. He ripped her flesh from her bone with his bare teeth before noticing that she was, in fact, his own mother.
"What have I done!?" screamed Giovanni at the world.
"You just killed our best one!" shouted a more-than-half-naked woman standing nearby. She was WAY too hot to be a hooker. She must have been the leader of what is now referred to as a "Haggle"(large group of wild hooker). Ah, yes, her "Queen-o-Hos" name tag on her partially revealed nipple could not lie.
"I've been looking for you," said Giovanni.
"I know," she replied.
"Good," shot Giovanni.
"Good, because that's good," the hooker shot back.
"Well, it's so good that it IS!" shouted Giovanni, obviously setting himself up as her superior. The hooker looked stunned, but soon got over her astonishment.
"He's ready to see you..." she said in her low, hookery voice.
"No!" shouted Giovanni as he pulled out his hand gun and shot her twice in the chest, getting her shiny white name tag messy.
"Ugh... yeah," said a dark man, standing in a doorway of the alley of which they were residing, "He IS."
"I see..." said Giovanni, suspicious of everyone, "But do you find this GOOD?"
"Yeah... sure."
"You bet your ass you're sure!"
The man sighed and signalled Giovanni in.
Giovanni followed the tall, dark, ravishingly beautiful man into the doorway, not noticing that his car that he had lept out of had careened into a bus full of tourists and killed them all in a horrorific inferno. Those damn, sick, demented "families" finally got what was coming to 'em!
Giovanni followed the man who has already been too well described for his small part in this story into a roaring dance club. Futuristic techno-metal roared from the monstrous speakers as the thousands of extacy stricken teen/twenty-somethings danced to the melody of the violent lighting system.
"I know what you're thinking," said the dark man.
"Oh YEAH?!" shot Giovanni.. still suspicous of this dark man... if that really WAS his name!
"Yeah... Where'd we get the money for all of this..."
"NO! I don't care about THAT!"
"Then what DO you think about?"
Giovanni paused. "Ponies."
"Ponies?"
"PONIES!!!" screamed Giovanni as he pulled out his gun and shot the dark man two times in the chest. No one in the crowd noticed the bullets or the sounds. Giovanni, on the third hand, noticed a door which him and the man had been heading towards. "And so we learn where this pie-eating contest finds its contestants," said Giovanni to himself, giggling at his amazing sense of irony.
All of a sudden four bullets shot from the door and into Giovanni's chest. He fell to the ground, holding his wounds. Blood filled the floor, raising the sea level nine inches. Before his eyes were covered he looked up at the shadowy figure standing in the door. It was like nothing he had never seen before. The last thing he heard was a satanic voice screaming those fatal six words...
"BBBOOOOOOOOOYYYYAAAAAATTTTHHHHHH!!!!!!!
...
Now where'th my damn cookie?"
__________________
"We want the funk. You can't stop the funk."
-George Clinton/Ghandi
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