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  #1  
06-22-2005, 02:41 AM
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Arrow one of my stories...

this story that I have been working on.............just as she closes the door she hears what must be some kind of small animal let out a small whimper. She continues to walk along the path until she hears the sound again. She turns her head and tries to see what it is, but sees nothing. She continues to walk along the moonlit path and tries to ignore the haunting sound that is ripping at her heart. The sound gets louder and she begins to walk faster. Her heart begins to race and she can¡¯t hear herself think. All she can hear is the sound of the animal. The sound morphs into words as she runs from it all, and she trips over a root that had pulled itself from the ground... as if it knew that she would one day stumble over it. Her glasses fall to the ground in front of her, and she scrambles to find them once more. Her head throbs with the sound of the animals piercing voice, and she begins to feel tears well up in her eyes. The animals¡¯ voice still gets louder, and the woman tucks her knees to her chest. Her tears fall to the ground and the soil dampens. "What is happening to me?" Her voice cuts through the darkness in her mind, but still the sound of the animal grows louder. She wipes the tears from her face and tries to bring herself to her feet once more. She is weak... her head rushes and she falls back to the ground. "STOP IT" she screams at the top of her lungs and then the path seems to disappear. She stops her sobbing and looks to see what is really happening. A small black cat walks to her gaze. The sound of the animal stops, and the cat sits in front of her. It's eyes were glowing, a pale silverish green... A slight breeze cast its way through the trees, and the cat tips its ears back. Its eyes still focused on hers. A tear slides across the line of her cheek bone and lands softly on her hand. The cat flicks its tail and tips its ears back forward. Its eyes squint and the cat stretches out to sniff the odd womans¡¯ hand. She freezes and watches the cat contently. She can feel the cats¡¯ soft wet nose etch its way across her hand to the cold sharp tear that is centered in-between her knuckles. The cat purrs and rubs its cheek to her knee. "What does this cat want from me?" The voice in her head breaks through the image of the cat and reminds her of her glasses that the cat is so timidly sitting on. She reaches out to pick up the glasses, but the cat bumps her hand back and rolls out over them. Still purring, the cat paws at her hand and rolls back and forth playfully. This cat seems familiar to her, but she just can¡¯t figure out why. Her eyes meet with the cats and she looses herself in its thought. She begins to tremble and the cat deepens her into its mind. She tries to break herself away but she cant. Her heart speeds its pace, she wants to scream but the sound locks itself in her throat. The cat lets out a deep growl and pins its ears back. Her mind throbs and she looses all of her strength. She feels her body go limp, and the cat digs its claws into her leg. Blood trickles down her thigh and burns her flesh ... (This is part of a story that I just randomly started typing....I am not going to type any more...unless you want me too. Sorry that I typed this...I am soooo bored. Well you read it and feel free to tell me what you think of it...)
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  #2  
06-22-2005, 02:45 AM
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Arrow yea... another story...

Prologue to chapter1
Depression raves the open minded, and kills the broken. For what is left to be said is more alive than the very earth you walk on. Can you feel the hatred split you open? Can you feel the people you left behind cry? Is it destroying you? Scream! Let your mind grow. You have caused us so much pain, and now it’s your turn to suffer. I will not allow you to just leave here without feeling all the pain that you deserve. You are making this so hard, it doesn’t have to be this way, and you know it. But you decided to do this the hard way… you chose to try and let every thing you have done fall behind you. You decided to let us suffer in your doing. I hate you, and now you are going to pay.
1

As I hunt down what I had once loved, I begin to think about what had really happened. I can feel the tears well up in my eyes. My anger drives me to run faster, and I pick up his scent once more. I am so close now… I can almost feel his flesh in-between my jaws… his rich blood filling my sorrow. I am so close, and yet still to far from revenge.
“Timena, wait up!” I can hear my comrades loosing their strength in attempt to keep up. I can’t just stop… I might loose Kirus’ scent. But I guess I must take the risk, for my clans’ safety and my own. Kiru is weak anyway, I can smell his blood.
“Timena!” well I have no other choice, I must stop. As I wait for my clan to catch up to me, I attempt to clean my own wounds and to get all of the teeth out of my leg. I can’t feel it at all… it’s as though I am completely numb.
“I thought you’d never stop.” Konanos’ voice comes up panting franticly, along with the rest of the pack fallowing closely behind.
“I am sorry for leaving you all in such a rush.” I try to get everyone to understand exactly how important this is to me. Konano sits and attempts to help me clean my wounds. I can’t even feel her aura… all I can sense is Kirus’ pain. He is not far now, and he has stopped. I can feel it. The ground is pulsing in rage. We need to catch Kiru before sun down. Or else something is going to happen; something that I feel has a lot of anger. I fear that if we do not act quickly, that innocent lives will be taken, and I fear that those lives are very close to my own life. Killing Kiru is the most important thing that I must keep in mind. If I allow my mind to wander elsewhere I will loose my rush of adrenaline and the pain that is lying dormant in my leg will cause me to become weak. I can not allow myself to become vulnerable; it could very well be the last mistake I ever make.
“Timena… we can not remain here for much longer. I feel that something is going to happen to us if we do, so let’s move on.” Minas’ voice breaks me from my train of thought. Her face is filled with fear, this is extraordinarily rare. Mina is one of the most powerful demons that I have ever known, and if she feels that it is not safe to stay here then we must continue our search for Kiru.
“You are right, let’s go. Konano, Kona, Araru, Hatho, Mirosa, Setto, set out in different directions and be sure to take a few pack members along with you! Mina, you will come with me.” As I finish barking commands I can hear the sharp call of the wild pulling my nose towards the north, I know Kiru is out there, but first I must have Mina heal my leg. Mina whimpers softly and a cold breeze casts its way across my tattered flesh, and in that instant my leg returns to normal. Mina steps back to admire her handy work and then heads towards the north. I quickly run after her and take the lead.
I can smell Kirus’ blood in the air; it’s thick and strong in the wind. Mina comes to a swift halt without warning, I continue to run, and am stopped dead in my tracks with a whimper. I had run into Kirus’ barrier… that wise jerk put up a barrier. Mina steps next to me and runs her nose against the clear wall, and then she steps lightly inside. I rise back onto all fours and shake off. Mina starts off in a run again, I pull myself back into the lead and pull Kirus’ scent out of the air once more, its no doubt Kiru is moving, slowly but definitely moving.
Mina lets out a faint growl, I look ahead only to see Kirus’ brown fur glistening in the pale sunlight. My hearts pace quickens and I speed my run into a full sprint. Mina falls behind so I could finish my task. I jump and latch onto Kirus’ rear right paw; he whimpers in pain and falls to the ground. I jump over his fallen body and slide to a stop in the firm snow. Mina circles the grounds and lets out a powerful howl. Soon are entire pack is gathered at the scene. I circle Kiru fiercely nipping at his every movement. Kiru pulls himself to his feet and lets out a deep loud growl, causing every one but Mina and me to move back.
Kiru limps back a few steps and growls once more; I raise the fur on my back step towards him slowly, and bear my teeth at him fiercely. Kiru lusts at me violently and snaps his teeth at me in rage. Mina steps forward and bears her teeth at Kiru drawing his attention towards her long enough that I manage to pull off a good attack to his neck, but I miss and have to redirect my bite to he right front paw. Kiru yelps in pain as my teeth sink into his flesh. I can feel the warm blood run down my fangs and seep onto the top of my tongue.
I can feel Kiru dig his fangs into my ear, but I refuse to release my hold on his leg. Kirus’ sharp fangs manage their way thru my ear, I ignore it and pull his leg out from under him and he releases his hold on my ear. I take this opportunity to drag him around by his leg and throw him against a tree. He falls back to the ground and remains limp for a few moments, and then forces himself back to his feet. Kiru snarls and limps back to his starting point.
I could see that I had shattered his leg in my last attack. I’m not far from victory now, all I need is one more good attack and he’s finished. Mina snarls and jumps back. This draws my attention away from Kiru, and he takes the opportunity to attack me. I don’t move quickly enough and Kiru grabs onto my neck. I feel his razor sharp teeth sink into my neck and snap shut. I am paralyzed all I can do is yelp out in pain. Kiru growls and puts more pressure behind his bite. I can’t breathe now; my vision is going red… Kiru thrashes me about wit the last powerful ounces of his strength and then his jaws throw me against a large boulder, I go limp.
I can hear Mina growling and snarling as I loose my last seconds of life. I hear one last faint yelp and then pass out cold.


2

I hear whimpers of sorrow come to tone, and a faint voice calling my name. I can’t help but think that I am dead. But I can’t be. I can smell Mina, and all of the others.
“Is she going to be alright Mina?” I hear a familiar voice break thru the blackness.
“Timena? Are you there? Please wake up Timena; you can’t die on us now. Not after all of this.” Minas’ voice pulls me out of purgatory, I open my eyes and the blurry figures of my own kind come into focus once more.
“I think I am going to be okay now. Thank you Mina, for everything. Right now I just need to rest.” I pull my voice back and then try to go on but I am just too weak to say anything else.


(tell me what you think of this one... if its not good I wont write anymore on it. thankyou,
Misty)
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  #3  
06-22-2005, 02:54 AM
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this will probobly be moved to Non-Oddworld Art & Literature. Interesting story....
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  #4  
06-22-2005, 02:59 AM
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Don't we have a place for this sort of thing?
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  #5  
06-22-2005, 02:59 AM
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opps, yea it probobly will be, sorry... Im really tired... glad you like it though.
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Last edited by misty; 06-22-2005 at 03:04 AM..
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  #6  
06-22-2005, 03:02 AM
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yea... forgive me, Im really tired. sorry.
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  #7  
06-22-2005, 06:19 AM
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DI's going to commit an act of rape upon your Anus.

A 5 year old locked in a Sex Offenders institute has less chance of being raped than you...
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  #8  
06-23-2005, 01:48 AM
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O.o well then... that was unexpected... I didnt realize that my story could make someone say that... wow... I really dont know why you posted that reply Jacob... but yea, whatever.
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  #9  
06-23-2005, 10:02 AM
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Lol, it's just you posted this in the wrong forum. And that's okay, it happens. Next time, post your stories and fanart and stuff in the Non oddworld art and literature [or the oddworld fan forum if it's about oddworld].

DI is the moderator [or one of] for the off-topic forum, but don't worry about it this stuff happens from time to time.

It's a good story though, I like the way you've developed the characters.

- Rexy
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  #10  
06-23-2005, 11:34 AM
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alrighty then, thats cool. Im glad you like my story. ^_^
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  #11  
06-28-2005, 05:15 PM
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Nice story, misty! It's very deep and descriptive-I love it! The character development is excellent-you really bring their personalities and feelings out well.
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  #12  
06-29-2005, 03:34 PM
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thank you odd chick, Im glad you like it. ^_^
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  #13  
06-29-2005, 08:11 PM
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No problem. I hope you'll continue it.
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  #14  
06-30-2005, 10:09 AM
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I will, in due time, but for now I have to leave this one at rest for awhile. I have other storys that need to be put into my computer right now. But I will get back to this one, I promise!
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