YES, I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT YOU
Normally, this is the part where the announcer speaks a lot of bullshit to keep you in suspension before the reveals. However, I do things differently! Expect bullshit later, instead! Let's get on with it!
(As you could have predicted, all Alcar votes are automatically discarded, judged and ostracized!)
Award voting thread link (just in case):
http://www.oddworldforums.net/showthread.php?t=24692
Best Oddworld Discord Server
With the overwhelming majority of votes..
OWF (10 votes)
Congratulations to the moderation team and the administration! You're awesome! Thanks, you too!
Feel free to drop by if you're not with us already:
http://discord.gg/JGeyUMn
Runner-ups*:
Magog on the March (2)
Official Oddworld (2)
The Local Server (2)
Emoji of the Year
:toyGluk: (8)
Understandably, toyGluk obliterated all of it's opposition. No profits are ever grim for that guy!
Emoji That Needs to Go
pubg (with 4 votes)
Dunno why you want it out, it's animated so it doesn't occupy emoji space, but alright! I'll get rid of it! I'll also get rid of :varrok: (as I know you all hate me) and :grenadeAbe: (because you hate Vexen's art). Good riddance!
grenadeAbe (3 + 2 half-votes**)
varrok (1 + 2 half-votes)
Funniest Poster
Oh my, it's...
Varrok (8)
Thanks, folks, love ya! No joke!
Runner-ups:
Nepsotic (3)
Oddey (2)
Paul (2)
Most Underrated Poster
Our Most Underrated Poster this year is...
Paul (4)
Let's rate him higher next time, he's a good fellow. Reverses Abe's Exoddus code and doesn't afraid of anything. Also, don't ignore him - he's got a gun!
Runner-ups:
TheOnlyDarkShadow (2)
TheManFromMudos (2)
Best Newcomer
There's been quite a lot of those this time, but one caught the public's eye more than the others... I'm talking of course about
Stitchlips (5)
Congrats to Stichlips! You're not gonna win this award next year (won't be eligible), so better step up your game from now on!
Runner-ups:
Jinx/Jessi (2)
Kisu Aran (2)
Rocko (2)
Most Welcome Return
At this point an OWF veteran; for those unaware, previously known as gishygleb...
Xorlidyr/Acalamity (5)
Welcome back!
Runner-ups:
Vexen (2)
It'd be kind of awkward if this one won, now that he's banned again
KjjCarpenter (2)
Nepsotic (2)
Most Liked
Congratulations for getting the Most Liked award to...
Nemin (4)
Now, onto the Most Subcribed/Shared with you! Make us proud! (not prideful
)
Runner-ups:
Xavier (3)
Paul (2)
Phoetux (2)
Most Eccentric
The award for the absolutely weirdest fella goes to...
Xorlidyr, again! (8)
You're weird, Xorlidyr! What a weird user.
Runner-ups:
Varrok (2)
Nemin (2)
Vexen (2)
Nepsotic (2)
Best Staff Member
The winners for this category are as follows:
Varrok (3)
Xavier (3)
Nemin (3)
Runner-up:
Lorne Lanning (2)
Can you guys make anything out of this? Me neither. Maybe it's a sign for us to stop treating our Discord staff work as competition and understand that others respect us just the same, realize that they find us both equally important.
Well, except for that Lorne Lanning guy. He's doing noticeably worse than us three. Better luck next time, Lorne Lanning!
The Oddworld Forums Unofficial Mascot
To nobody's surprize, this award goes to...
Afanart (8)
...well, what do you think of it, afanart?
Runner-ups:
Paul (3)
toyGluk (2)
Most Changed Member
Our most changed member this year is...
Kapteeni13! (2)
Considering the number of votes, I can assume it's a
slight change, but definitely for the better, congrats!
Runner-ups:
None (each voted for a different one)
Greatest Debater
Turns out that you can win debates regardless of whether you're right or not, as long as you entertain everyone (myself included), easily proven by...
Oddey (11)
Congrats, Oddey!
Runner-up:
Nemin (2)
Dearly Missed Member
Congratulations to...
Lord Vhazen (5)!
...feel free to show up in order to get the award...
Runner-up:
MA (2)
*Candidates with just one vote aren't shown in Runner-ups
**I consider a half vote if someone voted for two things in one category, you only got one vote!
=============
:
- Now, for the two final award categories, we have a Magog representative right at our studio. We're going to browse through all submissions and evaluate our chances. Say hello, mr. Slig!
- ...I have a name, you know.
- Let's start with
===========================================
Best Way to Crush a Mudokon Revolution.
===========================================
Oh boy! First suggestion: "Let them all go free and give them hugs."
[looks at Slig while trying to keep a straight face]
- why did I agree to this
- I take it it's not exactly what we expected,
let's try another one! "With blackjack and hookers".
- you sure they got the category name right?
- Yeeeaaah, this one won't work, either. Next one: "Nepsotic"
- what the odd is a nepsotic?
- Beats me, skip. "No need to. It'll fail by itself.",
"Give control to those Spirit of 1029 guys".
- Ha! You bet it'll fail! But we'd rather not take any risks,
and I want it to look like I'm doing something about it.
- Alright. "Dig a huge hole under where ever a bird portal exits,
wait for 301 muds then cover the hole."
- Daring! Although the hole would have to be very deep.
Maybe there's a less costly solution out there.
- Plus, with all this 2.9D, you'd have to dig the hole
all around the portal, not just in one spot in front of it.
- With all this what?
-...nevermind. "Unleash JayDee’s Mecha Song Engine
robot to crush them all",
"JayDee’s whistle monsters".
I'm not familiar with this lore.
Is this from the new art book?
- What the hell are you talking about?
- Sigh. "What Mudokon Revolution?
It was an insurance scam, there is no revolution."
- Mudokon Revolution isn't on the Magog Insurance
Companies list, checked in advance.
- "Cut 'em all up. Then there's nobody to revolt."
- Molluck has already tried that.
We both know how it ended for him.
- Point taken. Next one: "Seduce Abe."
- [raises eyebrow]
- (I didn't know Sligs have eyebrows) Um. Next one: "sex!!"
- [now both eyebrows are raised]
- ...could we pretend those two didn't happen?
- Gotcha.
- "Delay the release till they forget what they're fighting for."
- Don't get me wrong, we never intended to
actually release those mudokons.
- I see. "Brainwash Abe and make him believe that
the best way to be forever employer of the year
is to exterminate his entire race. I mean fuck, we
all know he can kill hundreds of Muds."
- [his eyes flash, and he quickly writes that down.]
Wish we had known this idea sooner, but maybe we can
work with it!
- "The big well."
- Oh, you mean that Mudokon suicide catapult? Would've been great,
but it's clearly malfunctioning.
- "Expelling Varrok". Must be a joke submission or something...
- Let's cut your earnings by half, just in case.
- Hey! I know you know I do it mostly for my own pleasure,
but don't use that against me! Last submission:
"I'm pretty sure they'll crush themselves under
their own incompetency. If not, promise Abe infinite grenades."
This one's mine!
- It might not look like that, but we
actually have a limited supply of those...
- Dang, there goes my idea. "Start an argument with Vanila".
- Vanilla?
- Nevermind. It's an in-joke. Besides, it's too heavy
of a punishment. "Toby."
- What about him?
Dunno. People just don't like him, because he's
an annoying sidekick trope... Well, that's basically it
when it comes to this category! What'dya think?
- Honestly, I expected something more practical...
I think we'll go with the hole digging idea.
- Alright! Let's move on to the next category,
===========================================
Most Effective Method of Destroying Toby.
===========================================
Dunno about you, but that's the one I was looking
forward to the most!
- Hell yeah! Let's do this!
- "He's already dead and has been the entire game, you have to let go, Alf; the crash wasn't your fault."
- ...I call it BS.
- "Elum shitting on a glass table."
- ...S'MO BS. What would that achieve, anyway?!
- "Going FASTER."
- Wouldn't work. Remember, folks: That's what the terrorist wants.
- Alright, then how about the opposite:
"Go SLOOOWWEEEERRRrrr"
"He wants to go "Fassster!" instead try make the opposite
and he will be död dun dun dun duuun.. ♫"
- We tried, but the train still kept going!
- "Well, SSB is flammable...", "Set him on fire.",
"Throw him onto the fire instead of wasting good Brew!",
"Fire!"
Great suggestions, love 'em!
- Thanks, appreciated! Hope the terrorists don't get
the same idea...
- "Magnets."
- "Magnets" what?
- "Magnets" no idea. "Just put him in the same room as almost any member of OWF."
- You're from OWF, do you think that would work?
- please, don't
- ...
- "Seduce him."
- Is it from the same guy who wanted us to seduce Abe?
- ...yes. Another one: "Loving him to death"
- Maybe putting Toby near such people isn't a bad
idea after all. This stuff can ruin a guy.
- [gulps] Alright, next one: "Torture him... slowly. Very slowly."
Me gusta!
- Will do, but we have to get him, first!
- "not sex".
- Skip.
- Empty Recycle bin.
- I don't see the connection.
- It's because this character is TRASH! Get it?!
- Next!
- "By not supporting Varrok." Hey, I'm not in cahoots with Toby!
Why would you even have that idea in the first place!
- We're keeping an eye on you, just in case.
- "Eye stitches." [Bursts into laughter] Ha, please do!
- Noted!
- "Vlam."
- I don't know what vlamming means,
but we'll sure SLAM his face against the wall a couple times!
- Good enough in my opinion! We're reaching the conclusion.
Last suggestion: "Let him moderate a Discord server
and try to keep peace with Vexen around."
This one is mine.
- Another in-joke, eh?
- Yeah, way to end it on the note of confusion. Go me.
- Welp, that's it for this year! Hope you all had a great time,
see ya next year!
- BS BS BS S'MO BS BS S'MO BS S'MO BS
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RESULTS - The 14th Annual Oddworld Forums Poster Awards (Discord Edition)
This was fun
