Random Tomb Raider Story

[MunchOnThis]

This is a random Tomb Raider Story by me. Enjoy.

Episode I: Shoot the dog?!

*the camera zooms up to Lara in Rome*

*she's jogging along and freezes*

Lara: Oh god....

*a dog starts dancing to Michael Jackson*

Dog: Thrilllllllllllllller!! *does the moonwalk*

Lara: O_o Talking dog?! Dancing dog?! I must be on those pills again...*shakes head*

*a woman is seen in the distance*

Woman: Ah Miss Noft.....

Lara: WTF?! It's Ms Croft woman!! Don't you realise how famous I am??

Woman: Ms Croft.......Never heard of you.

Lara: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Woman: Winston sent me here to give you your happy pills that keep you from saying bad words to everyone.....

Lara: ~@#$!!

Woman: *ignoring Lara* My is that the time?! I have to put my boys to bed. They go hyper on Cheerios if i'm not around....Ta da!

*clicks her fingers and she disappears*

Lara: O_o

*Lara shrugs and stands deciding if she should shoot the dog (pun there people if you know George Michael )*

~*In a local bar*~

Pierre: Welcome to your french lesson

Larson: Psst Pierre, stop talking to yourself....

Pierre: *smacks head* I was TALKING to you.

Larson: *dumb stuck for an hour* OOoooooooh!!

Pierre: *mutters* I'm amazed at your stupidity

Larson: Soooo Pierre, are WE learning french?! Goody I love to learn!!

Pierre:.....YOU'RE learning Larson

Larson:.....I love to learn

Pierre: *smacks head* I don't why I bother....

~*London Leigh HQ,Saturday 11:15pm*~

Sophia: *drunk* So then I said to that Ms Croft *hic* blue MM's red MM's they *hic* wind up the same colour y'know... *hic*

Dr.Willard: *drunk* You're starting to look monsturous after a couple of drink Miss Leigh...

Sophia: *drunk* WHATTTTT!!?? I'm the most *hic* beautifulist girl *hic* in the world!! Mommy used to tell me *hic* the world revoles around ME!! *hic*

Dr.Willard: That's what my daddy used to say!! He lied!! *starts sobbing*

*dramatic music*

Will Lara ever shoot the dog??!!

*Lara is still staring at the dog*

Will Larson STOP asking stupid qustions?!

Larson: What's my name?

Pierre: LARSON!!! STOP THAT!!

Larson: Oh yeah that's my name.....Larson Stop That. You're the best Pierre!!

Pierre: *angry* GRRRRRRRRR!!!

Will Sophia and Dr.Willard EVER get over the fact the earth doesn't go around them?!

Sophia and Willard: *hugging and hystericially sobbing* NEVERRRRRRRRRRR OUR PARENTS LIED TO US!!!!!

Find out in the next episode!!

(That was the worst people!! A load of random crap if you ask me )

[Kaimana]

lol! That made me laugh. Good job in writing crap, funny crap. I like it.

[Kesiah]

*covers mouth*
Heheheheheheheheheheh.........
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
*cough*
............heh....
*Wipes saliva off Kai's face*
Sorry about that........

That was pretty funny! Are you gonna write some more?

[MunchOnThis]

Thank you guys. You bet I'll write some more!! Right now!!

Episode II: Silence of the cheese

*meanwhile in the jungle*

Tony: *in hysterics* Oh mannnnnnn

Rory: Tony calm down

Randy: !

Rory: Randy stop staring that damn cheesecake!

Randy: It......talks.....

Tony: Ahahaha he's lost it!! Talking cheesecake my big yellow butt!

Randy:............

Rory:..............

Tony:..............

~*In London*~

Dr. Willard: *drunkly sobbing* The world.....Our parents......they lied to us!!

Sophia: *drunk* Boo-hoo and I thought that was the most beautiful...

Dr. Willard: I love you man!! *hysterically sobs*

Sophia: Me too!!

*they hug and cry together*

*leader of the damned crawls out the chimney (sp?) *

Leader Of The Damned: Oh.....man! Ms Leigh can I stop cleaning the soot out now?

Sophia: *drunk* @~*% off

LOTD:..............

Dr. Willard: *in accent* I vant to suck your blood

Sophia: *sniff* Save it for *sniff, hic* Hallo'ween

Dr. Willard: *drunk* WILL YOU MARRY ME?!

Sophia: *hic* Course I will you crazy fool!!

~*In Rome with Lara*~

Lara: *still staring the dog doing the moonwalk*

Dog: #Thrillerrrrrrrrrrrrr...#

Lara: You know.....this song is kinda catchy *dances along with doberman* # Thrillllllller #

~*In jungle*~

Randy: It talked I swear!

Tony: *scarstic* And my dad is the pope

Rory: Really?!

Tony: Of course not you retard

Rory: Oh

Randy: Listen carefully

Tony: Randy......get over it. Just because Lara doesn't fancy you.....She has the hots for me!

Randy: WHAT?!

Rory: Dream on Tony

Tony:.......It's true y'know

Cheesecake: I wouldn't date you if you were the last man on earth

Tony: WTF?!

Randy: See I told you if could talk!

Tony: I believed in you all along and to think I ever doubted you

Randy: OK

Cheesecake: # Thrillllllllllerrrrrr #

Tony: NOOOOOOO!!

Rory: NOOOOOOO OH MY EARS!!

Randy: I LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON- I MEAN NOOOOOO!!

~*In the bar*~

Larson: My name is Larson

Pierre: OK how to say it in French.....repeat after me-

Larson: Repeat after me......I'm learning fast

Pierre: NO! I meant you repeat after me:......

Larson: Repeat after me.....

Pierre: *aims gun at him* NO!

*dramatic music*

Will Larson quit being a thicko?

Larson: What's that mean?!

Will Sophia and Dr Willard go ahead with the wedding?!

Sophia + Dr Willard: *make out*

Ewwwwwwwwwww!! Will Lara and the Doberman sing Thriller forever?

Lara: *dancing* #Thrillllllllllllerrrrrr#

OK then...Will Tony, Rory and Randy EAT the cheesecake?!

Randy: NO I LOVE IT!!

Tony:............

Find out in Episode III

*theme music*

[Kaimana]

*tries to hold in laughter...* ... ... LOL!!!!!!! I love this stuff, it's hella funny, must write more!!!!!!

[Al the Vykker]

I like this story a lot, just the right sense, of Laughter/comedy, and action too.

Keep it up.

-Al the Vykker