Here's the answer to all your dreams, prayers, and general desires:
www.eve-online.com
Won more awards than you can shake a stick at, along the lines of best graphics, most original, best mmo, etc. It also holds the record for most people on one server.
It's not turn based, and although you tell your ship what to do and it goes and does it, it works like a starship commander style thing, and basically you win fights by the strategies you employ, the ship setups you use, and the skills you have. You have complete control over what goes on. The universe is conquerable, destructable, and vast (the game map is the size of a small galaxy). You can take over or even build stations, outposts, etc. and there's an ever increasing range of ships, weapons, gadgets, and careers to choose from. Anything from a covert ops stealth ship, to a heavy missile anti-battleship bountyhunter vessel. You can go hunt NPC pirates, work for agents, join a corporation, form a corporation, or just go mining... it's totally up to you.
Since playing it, I've honestly never found a reason to play any other game. It ticks every box with me. All other MMOs just suck compared. Especially in terms of how mature, organised, and well developed they are. Eve is really -advanced- for a game. Some people have said it's more like having a second life. Wars are fought and won there, massive empires are built and destroyed... it really is like nothing else. If you seriously want a great MMO in your life, try eve. Just, try it.