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01-28-2007, 08:05 PM
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Corporate Espionage
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: May 2001
: ಠ_ಠ
: 2,060
Rep Power: 25
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Ok, I know I just overshot my deadline by one day. I blame my short attention span. And Warcraft 3. And Dead Rising. And Orson Scott Card.
Anyways, here is the continuation of OWF – The Untold Legend 2.
To summarize how I got motivated to write this, here’s a quick chat log between an extremely short conversation between Havoc and I.
Mitsur says:
Hello, James Bond freak #2
Havok says:
lol yo
Mitsur says:
Hows it goin
Mitsur says:
er...
Mitsur says:
*cough*
Havoc says:
...
Havoc says:
you
Havoc says:
go write more untold legend
Mitsur says:
Uh, ok
Ok, that looked much funnier in the chat window. But enough about my late-night, secret chats with Havoc. Before you all get the wrong (or is it right?) idea about them, I’ll just start the chapter.
Shut up. That was one time.
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CHAPTER 1 – The Beginning of the Beginning
“And now, the winner of the most handsome and dashing actor of the year award goes to….Mitsur!!! Congratulations, and come up and take a few bows.”
Thunderous applause filled the auditorium. People whistled. Women let out shrieks. And Mitsur was calmly walking up to the stage, gently smiling to all of the adoring fans, even the ones who were plotting his downfall even as they clapped along with everyone else.
He climbed the steps to the stage, and accepted the award (which, coincidentally, was a golden statue of himself). Ms. America planted a kiss on each of his cheek, and Mitsur stepped to the podium.
“Now, I knew I’d get this award,” he began, when an enormous buzzing blotted out all thought.
“What the hell is that?” He yelled out, but nobody seemed to be paying attention, even though it sounded like the world’s biggest alarm clock.
Then Mitsur realized that it was.
“No! At least let me get through the night! Just a few more hours!”
But the buzzing continued, and everything began to fade into black. No, he had to keep holding on, he had to stay until he-
“No….I want to make it through the night….just a few more hours….” Mitsur groaned, as, once again, he began our story in bed, mumbling random words as someone or something tried to wake him up.
“Mitsur, this isn’t the time for trying to fake ‘doing it’! We’ve got a situation on our hands!” A voice said, as the alarm clock became blessedly silent. Then, it seemed to sense Mitsur’s relief, and started up again.
Mitsur promptly grabbed the samurai sword on his nightstand, and, still lying down in his bed, half asleep, sliced the clock in half. It cut out immediately. The voice continued on, relentless.
“If you don’t get up, right now, we’re all going to die!”
“Fine…I’ll die in a warm, comfy place, just like where I began. Except I won’t be sleeping in a fleshy, fluid-filled placenta. Otherwise, it’s exactly the same.”
The voice gave a frustrated sigh, then gave a small grunt, as if it were lifting something.
Freezing water was dumped onto Mitsur’s face, and he let out a yell as his face numbed. He sat up, spluttering.
Chuck Norris stood over Mitsur, godly light shining.
“My god….” Mitsur stammered. “You look more beautiful in person!”
Chuck Norris smiled, and Mitsur knew that at that moment, if he’d have died, he would have died the happiest man on Earth.
He reached toward Chuck Norris, and Chuck Norris reached back. Their hands touched, and….
Eeeeeee. Eeeeeeeee. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Mitsur gasped in shock. His alarm was still going off, but it was sliced in half! How could that be happening?
Then he realized the truth. He was still dreaming.
No! He thought wildly. It can’t be true; I don’t want it to be true!
Then Rexy walked into the room with nothing on but a bikini, and began to pole dance, on a pole that had apparently spontaneously appeared in the room. She was blushing intensely.
Well, that’s not THAT ridiculous. He thought. After all, you ARE incredibly dashing. Who would NOT want to do that for your personal enjoyment?
Alcar followed in, looking curiously for a moment at Rexy. Then he turned to Mitsur, a huge smile on his face.
“Congratulations, Mitsur! You’re such an awesome and valuable member of OWF, I’ve decided to make you an administrator! Go ahead and abuse it all you want; go have fun!”
Of course he’d do that, Mitsur thought desperately. I’m important!
And then, Old and Not So Tasty appeared. He took no notice of Chuck Norris, Alcar, or Rexy in the room.
“Hey, Mitsur! How’s it goin, pal? I got you a present!” He said happily, and pulled out five-hundred dollars.
Who am I kidding? Mitsur thought glumly. That would NEVER happen.
“Thanks for all this, guys. Especially you, Chuck Norris. But I know this is all a dream.” Mitsur said, standing up on his bed.
Eeeeeee. Eeeeeeeee. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
“Goodbye, everyone! I’ll see you all again in therapy!” Mitsur jumped off his bed, arms spread wide, and melted into the floor.
He floated in blackness, waiting for consciousness to return.
Eeeeeee. Eeeeeeeee. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
***
Mitsur’s eyes cracked open. He tensed, expecting someone to be shaking him awake. But no, it was just his alarm, still going off.
He looked at his nightstand. No samurai sword, waiting to chop a clock in half. He looked up. No Chuck Norris. No scantily-clad, pole dancing Rexy. No Alcar, giving him the reigns of power. No OANST, ready to show kindness.
Mitsur sighed explosively, and pulled himself out of bead. He threw the alarm clock at an already well-dented section of wall, and it clattered to the ground, broken.
He pulled on a t-shirt with a fake tuxedo drawn on it, along with a pair of blue jeans. Then he walked out of the room, first glancing up and down the hall, to make sure an angry mob wasn’t in wait.
Nobody was there. In fact, it was oddly quiet.
“Hellllooooo!” Mitsur shouted, as he stood in the hallway.
“Yo.” Splat said, stepping from the shadows. Mitsur jumped.
“Whoa, Splat. I thought you said you’d never do that again, not after what happened with the Russian Mafia. They almost killed my pet chubacabra after Jimmy died from a heart attack! Or... did they?”
Splat rolled his eyes.
“Stop being retarded, Mitsur. Nobody’s logged on yet. We have the place to ourselves, right now. I think.”
“Oh.” Mitsur edged away from Splat slowly.
“Well, I’m going to go break into Havoc’s room and torch his tiger stuff. I’ll steal Xavier’s camera, first, though. I’ll take pictures and show them to everyone. Seeya.”
“Yeah….” Mitsur said, and Splat ambled off, tuxedo hidden behind a trench coat.
Mitsur began to walk towards the cafeteria, to get something to eat, when a huge BANG deafened him. He looked wildly around, and saw smoke coming from behind what appeared to be the door to a janitorial closet. The door opened, and SeaRex appeared out of the smoke, coughing. He took no notice of Mitsur, but rather stumbled off the other way.
Mitsur decided he didn’t really want to know what had happened.
He kept walking, and Bullet appeared in a column of white light. He blinked several times, then waved.
“Oh, hey Mitsur.” Bullet said. “Just logged in. I’m gonna go get something to eat.”
“Me, too. Let’s go. And pray Rexy is serving anymore of her Guacamole Waffles. My stomach still can’t stand the sight of syrup. Ugh.”
They both kept moving, and, eventually, more members began to log in. Gradually, the noise level rose, and soon everyone was reunited.
The start of another usual (if nutso) day at OWF had begun.
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All right, we have liftoff! Ch. 1 is up and running!
Sorry if I offended Rexy in anyway. I needed something crazy to happen in the dream sequence, and that's something that was funny and impossible wouldn't happen.
Well, g'night guys. I'm really tired. I'll maybe edit it for notes later.
-Mitsur
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Apart from that, another excellent installment.
(please note: tears of joy)
Well if you say so...
