well i thought about it and i wanted to make a fan fiction about muds

KintoKeeper · #1 06-20-2010, 10:25 AM

Yarrik's quest chapter 1 Spiritual Surprise

One day in Alf's Rehab and Tea a Mudokon called Yarrik was having has daily tea and Spoose bread when suddenly he fell unconscious.ShryKull was telling him to go to Mudomo Vaults and to capture a Scrab and bring it to the center he asked why but the spirit did not answer.And so off he went to the weapons shop called 'Spoose Shooters' he had 26 spoose he was able to buy a tranquilizer spoose bow ''Great just what i need I'll take it.'' he said to the shopkeeper good choice said the keeper.At the temple he found at least 20 or more scrabs 'Great!' he whispered sarcastically.A Scrab charged him he shot the bow.It hit he quickly grabbed it and ran.Another and another came he could see the exit.He nearly fell 'No no no no ooowwwch!' he got up and made it to the middle cave in Mudomo Vaults 'Yes yes yes yes yes yeeeessss!!!!' the ShryKull was there.It ripped out the scrabs heart with a roar of pain it died 'Quick eat the heart whal it's fresh.Yarrik didn't like the idea of it but ate it all.He felt weird he groaned 'ugh,' he collapsed.

MeechMunchie · #2 06-20-2010, 10:27 AM

Intriguing...

KintoKeeper · #3 06-20-2010, 11:36 PM

lol first fanfic

KintoKeeper · #4 06-21-2010, 07:36 AM

chap 2 new friends newer enemies (this one will be a part cos i dont have the time for this bit)

At the Rupture Farms ruins a weird scarred figure crawled out of it it was a slig a slig bigger than usual it was half the size of a big bro slig.He jumped up ''some one has passed the spiritual test!!'' he roared and ran at the speeds only a scrab could reach to Mudomo.After 5 minutes of serious sprinting he was there he saw Yarrik.'screamed and shot his bow and missed the slig charged Yarrik ran.He wasn't looking where he was going and fell off a cliff.

Is this the end for Yarrik?.

KintoKeeper · #5 06-21-2010, 08:00 AM

well i forgot that i have 1 hr and 10mins well here is a taste of the new'n'tastey part 2 and some maybe characters queen Skillya Molluck the gluk(for you Meech Munchie cos you were the first comment ^^)and maybe Abe and a Glukstar

KintoKeeper · #6 06-21-2010, 08:24 AM

Yarrik woke up he was in what looks to be like a rebuild of Rupture Farms.A slig was sitting beside him he realized he was in a train the slig was smoking and lung buster Yarrik inhaled it and coughed hard.The slig laughed and hit him in the back of his head.Another mudolkin was sitting be side the slig it was Alf!.''Thats it I'm going to get out'' he thought Alf sneezed the slig punched Alf's stomach ''uuuuggghhhh'' Alf collapsed.Yarrik punched the slig's stomach the slig fell then Yarrik took his gun.''Thanks'' Alf said sarcastically he threw Alf onto his shoulder and went to the driver and killed him then stopped the train and jumped off.That instant another train hit the other and blew up he saw a glukkon(not sure on spell) fall went over to it and saw it was molluck the gluk he had had tomahawk stuck in him.

enjoy ^^

Lord Stanley · #7 06-21-2010, 08:59 AM

Kinda fast-paced and Abe's Oddysee-like, but pretty interesting.

KintoKeeper · #8 06-21-2010, 11:52 AM

thanks for the feed back any ideas are welcome or characters ill try to get most in

KintoKeeper · #9 06-22-2010, 06:46 AM

chapter 3 how?

Yarrik knew he could not get home by him self he decided he would have to free some mudolkins to get out alive.And so he set off into the eerie build he saw two mudolkins walking in front of a slig ''i must make a distraction he thought wheal they run over to where I am.''he thought.''HEY OVER HERE!'' ''hey its Abe'' ''No its Yarrik from Alf's Tea and Rehab'' the slig fired at him.It missed he ran behind the slig wheal shouting run I'll find you in a minute!'' he punched the slig the slig was dazed he ran to cover.The Shrykull appeared and told him he could possess things he possessed the slig and ran into a mine.''You can come out now,'' he said the mudoklins came out they walked to the doors they found some cell's there was only one with a mudolkin in it it wiped the dirt from it's face.It was Abe!They tried to break it open they weren't successful they started to punch it and soon it broke open.

the next chapter will be called Bad Things a Brewin

ODDWORLDisTHEbest! · #10 07-04-2010, 12:59 PM

and when is it coming out? this story is great so far you should continue!

KintoKeeper · #11 07-23-2010, 12:12 PM

sorry about the late post

chapter 4 bad things a brewin

Yarrick,Abe and the mudolkins went to the stock yards.Abe said he knows exactly what to do.They followed Abe through the stock yard ran to the slig barracks.Yarrick suggested they block the boilers and go soon as possible.''Ugh this place gives me the creaps''thought Yarrick ''I know''said Abe 'How..but....what..but...ummm how did you read my mind?''asked Yarrick ''the Mighty Raisin''said one of the mudolkins lightly.''lets go'' they all said they had three close calls then the impossible happened they were captured.They were crying amazingly Abe was the only one not to have a brake down''SHUT UP!!!!'' yelled a slig Yarrick tried possessing the slig instead he collapsed..... FREEZE!!!!!!!!!!!! So im giving a bad ending right well think again there's more. COMING SOON
______________________________________________________
Kintos need Keeping which is my purpose of life.

KintoKeeper · #12 07-23-2010, 12:29 PM

i want rep please im workin hard for this shizzle
______________________________________________________
Kintos need Keeping which is my purpose of life.

ODDWORLDisTHEbest! · #13 07-23-2010, 12:35 PM

well you wont get it if you keep double posting, please read the rules.

slig# 5719 · #14 07-23-2010, 01:13 PM

This is one fast fanfic. I'd say Yavik and the unnamed Slig from chapter two could become quite interesting.

i personally would advise slowing down a bit, get into your character's heads, think their thoughts, bring out their emotions (although I do see that beginning to take shape

). I would also advise making a new paragraph whenever the scene changes otherwise it may seem a bit jumpy. Don't worry about these things to much though just keep going and these things will just come to you

Truth be told you've written more fanfics then me at this present time

Lord Stanley · #15 07-23-2010, 04:41 PM

This is a very fast-paced story with an interesting premise to it.

Heh. I just realized, I've never had anything bad to say about any fanfic. That's really good to know, but it also makes most of my encouraging statements pointless...

No. I'm being encouraging! This is good, KintoKeeper!

KintoKeeper · #16 07-27-2010, 04:38 AM

Thanks for the feed back

Chapter 5 changes

Abe woke hanging from a rope by his wrists he look around he saw a saw on the table be side was half a fuzzle carcass and two interns with needles.He heard a bang Munch hoped in, at first he was alone but a moment later a dozen fuzzles came in with a look of savage anger in there eyes.The interns showed no signs of fear until the fuzzles jumped on the and ripped them to sheds in seconds the fuzzles freed Abe.When Munch and Abe reached the door 3 armored interns with guns jumped in.They ran (and hopped)out.A bullet shaved off Abe ''oooowww!'' cried Abe.

Yarrick cried onto his shoulder he thought there was no point on even thinking on escape.Abe came through the door with a key the cage rumbled and broke Yarrick fell with a thud and got up and followed Abe through a eerie and gloomy factory.Munch and his fuzzles were at the back,Yarrick in the middle and Abe at the front.They found a slig that was Grey it didn't fire at them it said ''Hi'' the fuzzles jumped at it ''Please don't!'' he squealed ''Let me come with you,'' he asked ''OK,'' Abe said.They went on into the gloomy and sad factory.

KintoKeeper · #17 07-28-2010, 03:59 AM

this is going to be the last chapter but its going to be longish

Chapter 6 Finale Hours

The unnamed slig called himself Gut Rip,He had reported to Mollock for protection matters.The Glukkon's had all gathered in a sealed room full of slig security the last Glukkon to arrive was Lulu his fund wasn't working so he was still in his shabby state.Gut Rip exited all slig personnel was ordered to be on watch at the boilers and the Barracks the mudolkins were killed there was only a small number of them about 31.Gut Rip had his own squad of armored sligs Gut Rip had been on guard for 20 minutes when he heard something ''Ughhhh'' moaned the unseen figure the squad went around the corner.It was a trap fuzzles jumped out the slig were shocked by the fact they were ambushed so easy.

The fuzzles told Munch to run ''The fuzzles say we should go now,''Munch said ''You sure?''Abe replied ''yes,''Munch said with with a bit of anger Yarrick was listening in.Gut Rip saw them run ''TAKE OUT THOSE FUZZLES NOW!''Gut Rip roared he ran after them with speed he shot at themthere was a barricade they jump over it Gut Rip couldn't jump high at all so he thought shooting it was a simple idea.The gun fire pounded the barricade they knew it wouldn't last much longer.

Back at the fuzzle ambush the sligs won and ran down the corridor to there leader the sligs were jumping over the barricade they broke it and Gut Rip charged.Abe,Munch and Yarrick ran(and hopped has fast has possible) Gut Rip was gaining on them,They ran to the boiler room Abe told Yarrick and Munch to get to the poop chute and meet him there they ran their separate way's Abe ad to blow up the boiler but he didn't ave time to think he ran to the first room and twisted the nob opened the door and ran.Gut Rip shot and hit Abe's leg Abe stumbled and fell ''NOOO''Abe yelled Gut Rip stood there mocking him.Gut Rip shot Abes other leg ''OWWWW''screamed Abe Gut Rip shot Abe's gut Abe gasped and died.

''Ive got a feeling Abes dead,'' Yarrick said sadly ''Me too,'' Munch said calmly ''Lets go then,''Yarrick said they got on the poop chute Munch started to cry ''Cheer up,whats done is done''Yarrick reassured him ''Sure,'' Munch replied.

Back at the Glukkon's Lulu fell apart into a bomb ''Son of a bitc....'' the Glukkons yelled then blew up.Yarrik and Munch looked at the factory and to there shock it blew up ''Wow!'' they said and then continued there lives........

GABBITS OWN · #18 07-31-2010, 12:53 AM

I Love this fan fic...

KintoKeeper · #19 08-02-2010, 04:12 AM

thanks

KintoKeeper · #20 08-02-2010, 04:17 AM

thanks

KintoKeeper · #21 08-02-2010, 04:46 AM

oh and here is a bonus chapter for the grey slig

Bonus chapter Greybo

In his slig chamber Greybo was slacking off on the job.He heard some of the others coming down the hall he woke up took out a dead mudolkin and bashed it the sligs looked at him ''Eh?''one of the sligs said.They came in they left the door open they punched him.Greybo ran they chased him he jump onto a railing and slowly crawled over it.The sligs were confused ''eh?'' ''This is a load of BS come out Greybo!'' ''Give me that popper'' he opened fire all over the room one connected with Greybo,he fell off it he limped away.They ran they were faster Greybo threw a uxb at them,It blew up and a barricade of ruble fell down. part 2 will be today

KintoKeeper · #22 08-05-2010, 02:24 AM

Bonus chapter pt 2

Greybo continued to limp down the corridor to a corner.Greybo fell over he decided to stay in the shadows ''Need to catch breath huh huh huh hhhhuuhhh!''He said.The sligs ran by him,He tried getting up ''Bollix can't move,''he said then Abe,Yarrick and Munch appeared he used them to distract all the gun fire from him and ran to the escape pods.

And that is Greybo's story my friends.......