Corrupt a wish thread!

[Laser]

This is a very useless,very random forum game..thing where if someone wishes something then you must corrupt it:
like this:
e.g
I wish for a blue hat

The hat turns into a blender and blends your head into a nice smoothie.

i'll start:
I wish that the world obeyed me

[Mojo]

*Laser gets incredibly fat, after the world mis-interprets his wish for "I wish the world obesed me*

I wish I was so rich, I'd never have to work again.

[Havoc]

Taxes are demanded and you are left broke in a gutter.

I wish I was president.

[speed the scrab]

George bush stops people like you from becoming president so quit daydreaming!

I wish people would take me seriously.

[Slig 7665]

You get taken to a mental hospital and no one listens to you

I wish i had a slave robot

[speed the scrab]

The robot goes on a murderous rampage! Killing you

I wish someone would assasinate george bush.

[Zozo the Zrilufet]

George bush reincarnates into an immortal demon and remembers his past life.

I wish I could fly.

[Slig 7665]

You atempt to fly but you fall to your death

I wish I chould open a portal to oddworld

[OddjobAbe]

You do, but you leap through it and get eaten by a Scrab.

I wish I'd never posted.

[speed the scrab]

Your post is imortallised is it can never go away!

I wish spammers didn't exist.

[Slig 7665]

The number of spammers increases to 999999999!

I wish I chould posses other cretures

(sorry if i spelt things wrong)

[Zozo the Zrilufet]

They explode when you're done possesing them, like sligs.

I wish my cats could talk.

[speed the scrab]

People lock you in a mental asylum for being crazy

I wish all things in life were free

[Zozo the Zrilufet]

Guns and drugs become free too and mankind wipes itself out.

I wish I had something to eat right now...Well there is food where I am, but I'm waiting for my supper.

[Slig 7665]

Your food is poisend and you die

I wish i had spider powers

[Zozo the Zrilufet]

You turn into a spider and eat all of you boyfriends. (Is kidding)

I wish I could self destruct.

[Slig 7665]

You self destruct destorying the universe and all there will ever be

I wish i chould jump into the tv.

[Zozo the Zrilufet]

You hit yourself against the screen.

I wish Oddworld was real.

[speed the scrab]

Scrabs paramites and industry overtake us

I wish anger didn't exist.

[Majic]

Or happiness either.

I wish for a white Christmas in Texas.

[Daxter King]

it is white......WHITE WITH HORSE SEMEN!

I wish I was a fish.

[speed the scrab]

You are speared and then cooked/fried/barbequed!

I wish george bush didn't have the right to fire missiles.

[skillyaslig]

George fires a missle and blows your house up.
I wish I was a werewolf

[Patrick Vykkers]

Granted, but you get thrown into a group of furries and..
*CENSORED FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY*
I wish for an uncorruptible wish.

[Marvak]

All of the wishes you ever wished in your life are granted, but take a horrifying twist that makes you wish you never made those wishes.

I wish I could mold matter around me, just by thinking about it.

[Daxter King]

You loose control of your thoughts and the matter crushes you.

I wish some people would learn how to corrupt a wish.

[6-finger-fred]

ALAKAZAAM! Wish is granted.
Everyone now knows so much about corrupting wish that they have degrees in it! Unfortunately they all corrupt your wishes at once, crushing your dreams and forcing you into suicide.

I wish I was a goat.

[Marvak]

*Poof* You're turned into a goat. Unfortunately, you're also the next sacrifice to the God of War.

I wish that I could kill people just by writing their names in a book.

[snuzi]

You need a special kind of book to do that. One that can only be found at...

The center of the Earth!

I wish that I could read other people's thoughts.

[Daxter King]

You become overwhelmed with thoughts and soon kill yourself.

I wish I had $10000000000000, it wasn't stolen, no one would take it, I would not have to pay taxes, it wouldn't be destroyed, and I would spend it wisely.