Shenanigans (an adventure game)

[scrab queen]

Let's play an adventure game guys.

Here's how this thing works:
Everyone suggests commands for the current character to do. I pick one, scribble it out, post it, and everyone suggests a new command. It keeps going until we eventually reach an end, or it collapses on itself.

There aren't any rules or limitations.

Hey. Who the hell is this guy?

>ENTER NAME

[Splat]

Barack Obama!

[Josh]

Armstrong Dicksmasher.

[Disgruntled Intern]

Pepe L. Pussmaster

[OANST]

Make love to a pinecone!

[Ridg3]

Kill him with fire.

EDIT: Name: Anthony Morgan

[Josh]

Cock-Juggling Thundercunt.

[scrab queen]

Oh. Well, you kinda forgot your name for some reason, so it looks like you'll have to come up with one. You suppose you could name yourself something awesome like Pepe Dicksmasher L. Pussmaster Armstrong the third. Anthony for short.


==> Make love to a Pinecone!


You spy something a tantalizing shade of mocha from the corner of your eye. Those velvet scales draped teasingly around that teardrop shape, the sharp ruddy scent of fresh pine...

You've got to have it





Welp. That was a terrible idea.

[Ridg3]

Replace penis with pine-cone and replace nose with shredded penis skin.

[Josh]

Donate the blood to a hospital.

Once in said hospital, break into the morgue and commit some nasty-ass necrophillia.

[OANST]

I didn't expect her to actually do these things..... I am in lust.

[scrab queen]

==> Replace penis with pine-cone and replace nose with shredded penis skin.


To honor your fallen comrade, you don his soiled husk in place of your non-existent proboscis. That bitchy pinecone will never be able to replace him.

Your new PEENER NOSE and PINECOCK look awesome. You strike an epic pose to demonstrate it's awesomeness. Oh my god look at how awesome that is, you're glowing like fucking jesus over here.

[Ridg3]

I fucking lol'd IRL, that pose was just fantastic xD

[OANST]

Why didn't you ever tell us that you were awesome, scrab queen? I mean, I had no idea.

Pepe Dicksmasher L. Pussmaster Armstrong the third gets into an argument with a small child about the usefulness of pennies in today's society.

[scrab queen]

Glad I could entertain. :3

==> Donate the blood to a hospital. Once in said hospital, break into the morgue and commit some nasty-ass necrophillia.






You make your way to the nearest hospital. After hypnotizing her with the awesomeness of your PEENER NOSE, you leave the BAFFLED NURSE with a BUCKET OF CROTCH BLOOD. You're sure she'll know what to do with it. You manage to slip unnoticed into the morgue.

Aw man, look at all these choices. You can't wait to-

Oh. Waitaminute. No penis. And what if you lose your brand new PINECOCK up the corkhole of a cadaver? That would suck multitudes of ass.

[Josh]

Use your penis nose.

[OANST]

Fuck, man. The good ideas are flowing like a river up in this bitch.

[scrab queen]

==> Use your penis nose


Through some supernatural miracle, your deceased penis hears your plea and manifests itself on your face using the leftover skin. You are now Pepe Dicksmasher L. Pussmaster Armstrong Penisface the third. Aw yeah.




You decide to play a bit of dead roulette.




Today just seems to be rife with terrible decisions.

[OANST]

Where's my penny conversation, damn it?

[scrab queen]

It's commin', gimme a minute.

[Disgruntled Intern]

I officially apologize for all the mean things I said to you. Unless it motivated you to actually post. This is gold.

[MeechMunchie]

PD L. PAP III should disguise himself as a corpse and freak out the hospital staff.

[scrab queen]

Argh. Sorry this took so long. I had to get lunch for my sister and then grandma came for a surprise visit.

==> Pepe Dicksmasher L. Pussmaster Armstrong Penisface the third gets into an argument with a small child about the usefulness of pennies in today's society.


On your way back home to clean up, you come across a small beggar child.




You take some pity on him and give him your last penny.




He doesn't seem all that happy about it. Not even a 'god bless you sir' in sight. What's the matter kid, never seen a penny before?




Beggars can't be choosers you know.




Not only does he reject your offering, but he calls it worthless too.

Oh hell naw.




The both of you get into verbal fisticuffs over the true value of a penny.




You take the time to let him know that you have a PINECOCK and an angry penis on your face, and that his argument is rendered invalid by this fact.

You've won.

[MeechMunchie]

Demand reparations of some form from the child.

[scrab queen]

This is the last one for today. I've been up all night/day and I really need to pass out now.

==> Demand reparations of some form from the child


As the winner winner chicken dinner, you demand that the child be the first member of the followers of the sacred almighty PINECOCK of awesomeness.

Now get down there and start worshiping.

[enchilado]

Anthony designs an outfit for the Followers of the Sacred Pinecock, which looks like that of the Ku Klux Klan but the headpiece is shape like a penis.

The Kool Kone-Kocks travel the world recruiting new members of any size.

[Phylum]

The KKK begin chopping off the penises of innocents and replacing them with pine-cones. Soon the whole world will be like PD L. PAP III!

[scrab queen]

==> Anthony designs an outfit for the Followers of the Sacred Pinecock, which looks like that of the Ku Klux Klan but the headpiece is shape like a penis. The Kool Kone-Kocks travel the world recruiting new members of any size.


You and your follower start a wave of new-cockery around the world, a small entourage of MERRY MEMBERS faithfully follow where your SACRED PINECOCK points, scouring the world for more recruits.

[scrab queen]

==>The KKK begin chopping off the penises of innocents and replacing them with pine-cones. Soon the whole world will be like PD L. PAP III!


Unfortunately, not all people think your totally awesome SACRED PINECOCK is cool.




How dare he refuse to prostrate himself in front of the SACRED PINECOCK?!




He will be shown the light, in the name of the Kool Kone-Kocks!



Little does he know how much he's been blessed, to have himself transformed into the image of the great Pepe Dicksmasher L. Pussmaster Armstrong Penisface the third, holder of the SACRED PINECOCK!

[Josh]

Give all the mutilated penis blood to a rich vampire. Then bite him.