The ultimate freakishly dark Sligstorm fanfiction.

[Vlam]

This fanfiction is in FPS mode.

I'm the only albino slig of Oddworld. I've got an identity disorder: Am I a recolored slig or a "slig+ "? EVP_Glukkon, my eccentric boss, just said to me:

-I will be enjoying my time ere and let me tell ya 'bout them meat puppets wanna argue about losing they jobs. ANIT NO BODY gonna lose nutin with me ere. But sum body need ta make sure Nate keeps moppin up them floors and keepin this ere place tidy. Buahahaha! All o'ya take care, er no further comments.
-What?
-Sligstorm is all fine and dandy but I want to build factory floors, set up all the scaffholding and walkways/platforms. Set sligs on patrol routes, manage my employees etc.
-Boss, I...
-I am a very tired Glukkon, waiting decades! MAGOG DAMNIT!


SB, my shrink, who is a talking piece of meat, just shows up to say, "EVP_Glukkon, consider this: they probably wouldn't give a slig they deemed defective at birth the proper training and resources they'd have given every other slig. Not to mention, without proper training, our little albino friend would be a very poor shot and might not even know how to work any of the standard slig equipment. That's not to say they can't learn, but I'm pretty sure if Sligstorm was made it wouldn't be just like possessing a slig+. The slig was born, immedately sent to its death because it was albino, yet managed to escape. It doesn't know what's going on just that it needs to find safety. It probably doesn't even know spoken language, much less understand it. Mudokons likely wouldn't be friendly to it because it's a slig, and other sligs know to shoot it on sight or arrest/detain it. Slogs are a toss up because, for all intents and purposes it's still a slig. It's only friends would probably end up being the pests that come in and out of whatever facility this slig is trying to escape.Bonus points, I suppose, if Sligstorm toys with sligs being natural caretakers and it happens to run into a litter of sloggies or ratz or something along the lines."

It's useless to say I was incredibly bored by this conversation. I want nothing more than to be drunk. Alf's Brew is my haven.

During that time, a bunch of Mudombies started flooding out of everywhere! Should I fight or flee?
-DO IT!


End of chapter 1.

[Slog Bait]

I'm really fond of that SB guy. He sounds like a real swell piece of meat.

[Alf Shall Rise]

Where is chapter 2?

[EVP_Glukkon]

I'm Exec Vice President Glukkon, and I ere approve of dese what cha call em?
Huh? Fan FICTIONs. Yeah, carry on.

HAHAHAHAHAHA thats hilarious how you used real quotes from me in other threads slapped together. Good work!

[MA]

vlam ur a jeenius

[FrustratedAssassin]

Amazing

[Vlam]

In the most anticlimatic way, all of the Mudombies collapse lifeless to te ground. Not a single bullet was shot. I was relieve.

-Huh? The wall isn't finished yet? STW, DAMNIT!
STW, an unspecified creature, supervised the work of two Mudokons of Eastern Mudos.
-The hand of Abe is gorgeous. By the way, he is leading all 300 muds across the desert!
-Huh?
The two Mudokons of Eastern Mudos started to talk:
-Nu vreau să lucrez!
-Nie chcę być częścią tej historii.
-EVP_Glukkon, the wall isn't finished yet. Those chaps are doing their best though.


Dr. SB, my shrink, who is a talking piece of meat, started to talk:
-EVP_Glukkon, Nothing I said in my original speech signified what I wanted out of the game, but what I believed may have come out of the game based on 1) what was previously revealed about Sligstorm, 2) the fact that with each new Oddworld game, while it kept the same basic mechanics, always added one or two new mechanics to solve puzzles with, 3) what we know of the in universe lore regarding sligs in the hierarchy, 4) what we know of the in universe lore of sligs natural temperment.

For some reason, a crowd of bouncing meatballs start talking about me like if I wasn't there:
-yeah i love RTS/management/building games so i really wanted this to come out.
-Would it be a puzzle game like the rest but as a pantsless slig???
-Yes, yes, yes to Sligstorm. I've got a soft spot for stories that cast a normally "bad" race as good, and I'm so interested to see what a Slig protagonist would be like, especially one at the absolute bottom of their hierarchy.
-It probably would've elaborated on Skillya and all too.
-Yeah they tend to be a vocal bunch. Punkcrash and albino, cleanup this mess!

Punkcrash is the happy slig. He doesn't eat Mudokon Pops because it goes against his religion. Can I trust him? Anyway, he helped me to carry the dead corpses. Punkcrash then stared at the Mudombie's chest.
-Hey, albino. I found something. What is the meaning of 'SCRABANIAC'?


End of chapter 2.

[Varrok]

The two Mudokons of Eastern Mudos started to talk:
-Nu vreau să lucrez!
-Nie chcę być częścią tej historii.

You've even made up new languages for your fan-fic. Most impressive!

[Xorlidyr]

Is that corrupted Polish? Because I understood what they said.

[FennecFyre]

A cameo fic appearance? I feel so included.

This is great, keep it up.

[MA]

In the most anticlimatic way, all of the Mudombies collapse lifeless to te ground. Not a single bullet was shot. I was relieve.

i was relieve too, my friend. i was relieve too.

[Vlam]

I thank all of you. You've made it possible.

[Alf Shall Rise]

Punkcrash is my favorite character. A slig with a set of moral standards. Both touching and beautiful.

[Havoc]

What the hell am I reading?

[STM]

I love you, Vlam. BUT WE NEED MOAR.

[Vlam]

Long story short: EVP_Glukkon failed his exams. He was put out to pasture. STW is now the one in charge:
-Well done, comrade Punkcrash. You do know how to get promoted! With your own team, you will have to find 'Scrabaniac'. Albino and one Mudokon of Eastern Mudos will accompany you through your journey. Go see our A-team. Good luck!

X and Namco the Vykkers are the A-team. They were studying the Mudombie's chest. X took notes. Namco started talking:
-This snippet of code contains the numbers 0, 4, 5 and 1. If there’s an ARG going on, then they could be needed for a password or cypher at some point. I’m playing with the reveal1.jpg in an image editor, so far not seeing much – although the image itself is definitely an obscured shot of Mudombie’s chest, with the dark splotch below the word “can” looking suspiciously like a heart. It aligns with I, E and K, but not well enough with any of the other letters for it to be a 100% positive result. Could just be coincidence.

I couldn't understand a single word he said. Nepstock the slog began to urinate on the Mudombie's chest. Namco was now incredibly angry:
-Well done, party pooper! Punkcrash, Albino, take Nepstock with you.
-Come here, boy!

The Mudokon of Eastern Mudos secretly loves Nepstock. Near the wall (who still isn't finished) I saw Dr. SB. He was painting it.
-Hey doc, is everything alright?
-Albino, don't you see I'm currently making a new wall skin? I'm not feeling well. Anyway, I need to reassess my life. After all, you may be nothing more than a recolored slig. Who knows?

We were heading to the north of Mudos. Nepstock was rubbing on the Mudokon. Punkcrash was reading while walking. It's the new Oddboy. I saw the body of MunchieMeech on the cover. I really wanted to kill myself. A car then drove alongside us at the same speed as we walked. Havok the Grubb started yelling at us:
-Help! My master needs help!
Havok seems to have a crush on Nepstock the slog. The Mudokon seems jealous. Punkcrash said:
-Yes?
-My master, Scrabaniac the Oktigi, is sick. Listen to his gibberish.
Scrabaniac then started to talk, saying:
-Holy Sock law still apply. Soulstorm will be slightly darker than NnT. Get the recolored slig out of my sight!

Nepstock is attacking Scrabaniac. Punkcrash was highly confused: should he kill Scrabaniac or let him live? Havok the grubb, shocked, said:
-Idiots! If Scrabaniac dies, the world ends!

End of chapter 3.

[FrustratedAssassin]

This is the best thing I ever read

[Alf Shall Rise]

Where is chapter 4?

[Varrok]

He missed this one, how lame

[Nepsotic]

I do enjoy urinating on things.

[Varrok]

I think Nepsotic is based on Vlam's original character, Nepstock.

[Vlam]

He missed this one, how lame

Why? I need more negative feedback.

[Varrok]

Chapter 4s are usually the best ones. It's chapter 3s that most good writers skip

[Vlam]

Dear fans, rumors are true,

Slog Bait and Scrabaniac are currently on strike.

The future of The ultimate freakishly dark Sligstorm fanfiction remains uncertain.

[Alf Shall Rise]

Nothing good ever lasts.

[Vlam]

I'm STW, currently in my office. Was I living the dream? No, it's a real work and the end point of a metamorphosis from optimistic student to travelling NEET to nameless white-collar economic end-product. Should I work in the public sector? There are times I've gone to the toilet to sob; EVP_Glukkon sitting in a cubicle crying because it's impossible for him to become a slig. Survival of the fittest? Bullshit. I have 50 moolah in my pocket. I was wondering what was the meaning of ZEBAOTH, THEOSKA, ADONAY. Anyway, back to work:
-Varrokski, is the wall finished?
-Nie.
-Cut the crap, would you? You aren't a hearing impaired Mudokon. You are able to speak normally.
-Boss, the wall isn't finished yet.
-What about the new worker from Southern Mudos? How is he doing? You know, the one who is wearing sunglasses like a visuallly impaired Mudokon?
-Well, he holds a personal grudge against Punkcrash. He complained about the fact that "They even called my friend as Spaghetti-Nigga". Also...
X the Vykker shows up to say:
-Sir, Namco has finished the work.

STW and Varrokski were near the Mudombie. Namco started talking:
-'SCRABANIAC' was a misleading information. The Mudombies were being sent by the holy 'UNITY'. Ran it through the cipher, got RM-N SH SB KTS*I * OE*NA*TOI*R SFOEPLE*E O UD
Varrokski is a speciest. He never trusted the Vykkers. He immediately sensed the danger.
-Boss, we have to leave now!
-Are you scared? Get to some fucking perspective. There are bigger, badder enemies.
At the same moment, a crowd approached. The creatures were whispering "LFPR B.VA LBNA'EZGR HNR, LA*EP R*,R* EAEO***SPTYSRE, *** GNRCRE RFNRYC, LEEBF ***".
-The enemies are not Vykkers. The enemy is Unity.
-Oh fuck off you ignorant tit. So please, Varrokski, next time you feel the need to say something ridiculously bigoted or ill-informed, say nothing.
-AGH YRFANOBFCFESQ] BR[VF URBVZ-XBER G
-The foundation of all religions are unscientific beliefs, hence all religions tend to be logically biased.
-I'm not saying they're not illogical and unscientific, many people are not, that doesn't mean you write the entire thing off.
-!-- HELL04==five --!-- L1PSwhat
-Don't you see they're doing black magic?
-You are really getting on my nerves, Varrokski. That's it, you're fired.

Varrokski left as soon as possible. Namco turned himself into a bomb. It exploded. STW and Namco are now dead. Varrokski escaped the blast with the help of the fastest creature on Oddworld. They were heading to the north of Mudos.

End of chapter 4.

[Varrok]

Is the fastest creature on Oddworld who I think it is? :D

[STM]

Oh...shit.

[Varrok]

Guys, just chill.

[Vlam]

Varrok should be the new moderator of the Fan Corner.