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  #181  
04-28-2009, 11:47 PM
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I read your story and liked it because. Now, bonus points, please.

'Joke' aside, I liked this one. It did good to separate the different sections, yet they still form a whole and are connected to eachother. Another bunch of revelations created a good suspense, although we already knew about Dion's story. Can't wait to see the chapters where W@RF gets involved, but you're in no hurry.

As for constructive criticism, you should double-check your spelling. Words like 'fate', 'were' and some others. I noticed earlier that you sometimes mix 'here' and 'hear' as well (I guess it's not done on purpose).

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  #182  
04-29-2009, 08:07 AM
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I read it, yeah...
and I like it more than all the other fanfictions here and elsewhere, because ...it's different. There are maybe fanfictions that are totally authentic and thrilling and with super cool characters and interresting backround stories, (your story has all this too) but above all your story has something that other stories haven't, I can't really tell what it is. *shrugs* I dropped by accidentally, I don't even have time to read and usually the chapters you write are quite long, but when I read the first words of the chapter i couldn't stop reading on... this is the only story so far where i never ever was annoyed of the length of the chapters -no matter what time it was! lol xD


btw: so Dionysia has eyes like Abe or just yellow irises? -cuz i told ya to make fanart for this story some day
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Last edited by scipionyx; 04-29-2009 at 10:28 AM..
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  #183  
04-29-2009, 04:14 PM
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She has yellow eyes like Abe.
And thanks fo your replies!
That chapter was more about Stivik than Dionysia, the tough decisions destroying more and more of his better nature. His betrayal of her has huge impacts on both their lives.

And I appreciate the notes on grammar I made a few edits.

Chapter length is something I've deliberated much, as many people have said my longer chapters have been off-putting. But it's just the way I want this story to be. Long chapters... Add something. I mean as a reader I was always disappointed by how quickly I got through chapters of stories I followed.
Having longer chapters allows me to build up more in each. When a chapter ends, it relieves the tension, so starting a new chapter means I have to start back from square one.
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Last edited by Splat; 10-05-2009 at 04:43 PM..
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  #184  
07-07-2009, 06:24 PM
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Ok, about time I let people know what's going on here.

Basically, as the longer and longer gaps in the last section have probably given away, it's getting harder and harder to write this story.
By no means do I want to give up!!! I'm really looking forward to telling the stories of these characters, particularly the sections after the RPG.

However, my inspiration for this is really flat right now, so I'm gonna be taking a break from this for a while, probably a couple more months. After that, I'll try and get on to working through the W@RF RPG, picking out the significant events and characters, working out some form of plot (some of this is gonna be a real challenge, I tell ya!) and writing it all out in chapters. The next section, when it comes, will reunite us with Anni and her friends as Emlech makes a tough decision.

So yeah, I'll be giving it a few months. Hope you guys can forgive me. Your comments and feedback mean a lot to me! There are gonna be two parts set during the W@RF RPG, and two set afterwards; I've actually written the final chapter of the first section after W@RF, and I so wish I could show you guys it now! (Would totally ruin the plot, though ).

So I shall look forward to seeing you in a few months! Anni is waiting!

Part 6
--
Sadist’s Choice


Chapter 30

“Get off of me!” Shrieked a high-pitched voice, and there was an enormous crash from inside the lab.

Standing outside the door on either side of it, the two sligs glanced at each other and tried to keep straight faces. A moment later, the door crashed open and a small, pink figure came rushing out in a blur and disappeared up the corridor.

“Seven minutes and 12 seconds,” Said the first slig, sounding slightly impressed.

“That’s a new record,” Added the second.

The door burst open again and a very disgruntled-looking vykker almost fell through. “Where did she go?”

“Uh, that way,” Said the first slig, pointing up the corridor.

The vykker glared at them, realising how he’d just been humiliated by the tiny mudokon and barked, “Well, get after her, slurgs!”

They said their ‘yes sirs’ and ran off in the vague direction that the pink blur had taken.



Hope that little preview will tide you over for a while
See you soon,
Splat.
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  #185  
10-05-2009, 04:40 PM
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Progress update!!!

I've written a chapter and a half, right up to where the story ties into the RPG, and I can go no further without re-reading the RPG and writing it out. So here's how my plan goes. I'm going to read at least up to the end of W@RF 2 - the one where Anni and her friends arrive, as well as the rest of T-nex's characters - taking notes as I go. At that point I might choose to read W@RF 3, too. If I still really feel the need, I'll go on to W@RF 4, but at the moment I think I'll stop at three.

Once I've got enough notes, I'll start writing. I'm going to be very selective of what I take from the RPGs; I only want events that develop members of my main cast, so characters that come in and are good friends with Anni for 12 posts before disappearing won't get in (sorry, you people.) How long I go for depends on how much usable material I get, but Dionysia joins W@RF at the start of W@RF 5, and as that'll mark the start of Part 7 of the story, I'll write the rest of Part 6 before reading and taking notes on those.

I'll probably start posting chapters when I have my notes. I'll still be using the RPGs for reference, but with an idea of what my plot's going to be, things will go much quicker from there. Hopefully I can start writing again before the end of October, so with a lot of luck chapter 30 will be up before the end of this month (depending on how much reading I can get done, and how quickly the note taking goes; when it comes to actually writing the chapters things should go quicker than it has this last year as most of the plot will be laid out for me).

Thanks to everyone who's still reading this (all two of you ). Hopefully I won't keep you waiting too much longer!
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Last edited by Splat; 10-05-2009 at 04:44 PM..
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  #186  
10-05-2009, 04:54 PM
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Hey, we've told you before there's more than just two people reading it! There has to be at least three and a half or so!

Anyway, that sounds like a plan! Do you have much plans for how the story is going to go once you get past the events of the RPG? I'd be curious to see where Stivik's at now, he was an interesting character while he was in the RPG.
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  #187  
10-05-2009, 05:18 PM
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The RPG seems to have been on its last leg for some time, but I think its nearly at a place where it might recover. If it does keep going, I've already started moving Anni's W@RF journey towards its conclusion, and plan to carry out certain events in W@RF 10 which will lead into the story.

As for the last two parts of this story (8 and 9), all four characters will be explored in their post-W@RF lives and the Epilogue more or less tells you what happens to them all in the long term. I did write the Epilogue a while ago, but I'm not really satisfied with it any more, so I'll rewrite it when I come to it; I've considered making it a multi-chapter thing, but i don't want to go crazy.
I've also written the final chapter of Part 8, again just because I wanted to. It's definitely one of my favourite parts of all of the story that I've written and I really would like to show it to you, but obviously it'd give far too much away, so I guess we'll all have to wait for that happy day

More than once I've thought of just saying at this stage "I cant be bothered to write the bits set in W@RF; go and read the RPG while I get on with the next bit!" But that doesn't really seem fair for anyone . Depending on how fast I can get this note-taking done, I might get onto those final parts of the story quite soon (you know, compared to how slowly this year has gone) but only time will tell.
Rest assured you will one day hear at least a little of what happens to Stivik, Krik, Anni and Dionysia after they leave Rupture Farms (not to mention Jim, Kix and (spoiler warning for non-W@RFers!!!!) Nova.)
I would get on with the note-taking now but I should have gone to bed 20 minutes ago.
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Last edited by Splat; 11-25-2009 at 04:50 AM..
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  #188  
10-05-2009, 09:28 PM
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Bah... x_x that means you'll be looking at my early RPG posts full of spelling mistakes...

Oh well Go get writing soon. I'll send you super-duper-mental-power-juice!! ... But it will be a bit mingled with kitten-cakes and bunny-fluff
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  #189  
10-06-2009, 11:05 AM
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YAY!!! I'm looking forward to the next chapter then ^-^

btw: what kind of mask does Stivik wear? the old or the new type ...and with cables or without cables?... sry i forgot to ask ^^;
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  #190  
10-06-2009, 03:46 PM
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New, with.
The next two chapters are written, but I might need to edit them.
In other news, I've taken notes on about half of what I need from W@Rf 2, and have begun structuring it into chapters (despite its messiness, W@RF 2 hasn't been so hard, as there are only a few active members and though there's a lot of rubbish and contradictions, I can filter that out pretty easily). I have run into a slight roadblock with some... interesting moves in Annis character, but once I read ahead I should be able to sort it out. If I don't get distracted I might be able to finish the thread tonight.
Ah, it's good to have a backlog of chapters again

EDIT: Now I have a problem; W@RF 2 never really resolves its issues, but they're all dropped in W@RF 3 cus a major player left. To make it worse, a load of posts were deleted in a forum crash right after W@RF 3 started! ARGH!
MORE EDIT: Sorted out W@RF 2 with some artistic license I have another 25 minutes tonight to work out what's going on in W@RF 3.
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Last edited by Splat; 10-06-2009 at 04:40 PM..
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  #191  
10-06-2009, 05:32 PM
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Wow, I had no idea I was in the W@RF for so long! I always thought I joined in one of the more recent versions but looking back I see my first post in W@RF was version 3. So yay for Dripik, Splat, and me for being the oldest members still involved in it XD

From memory, wasn't there another missing portion in another version of W@RF too? I don't know if it was version 4 maybe, but I know we had the forums hacked after you and I had both joined and again it was just picked up from what we could remember. I think when I rewrite my story I won't involve the events of the RPG, sounds like too much work
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  #192  
10-07-2009, 12:04 AM
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:
interesting moves in Annis character, but once I read ahead I should be able to sort it out.
Well.. Just remember that Anni's story got gradually more complicated, and you added some things to her story as we went along too Like suggestions and stuff. So Anni from the beginning of Warf is much simpler than the current Anni.
Which means that you might have to improvise a bit.
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  #193  
10-07-2009, 03:15 AM
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Improvise-ho!!

Now she just likes Reg.
She doesn't liiiiiiiiiike him.

Also, Razer arriving is about the only note-worthy thing to happen in the first 10 pages of W@RF 3. And I can't help but read all of Super Moose's posts in a Polish accent.
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Last edited by Splat; 10-07-2009 at 03:18 AM..
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  #194  
10-13-2009, 04:54 AM
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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I have just finished taking notes up to the end of Part 6 (Sadist's Choice), somewhere round the middle of W@RF 5, and let me tell ya some pretty intense stuff will soon be coming your way!

Firstly I'd like to say thank you to everyone who'se posted here over the last few months. It's a great encouragement to find out you guys are still behind me even after this really slow year.

But as I say, I am now ready to start writing again (at least for a while ) and so I will not make you wait any longer!
Anni's back!



RUPTURE FARMS PRESENTS
DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS
SCRAB CAKES!
MMM-MMM!
THEY’LL COST YA AN ARM AND A LEG!
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Part 6
--
Sadist’s Choice


Chapter 30

“Get off of me!” Shrieked a high-pitched voice, and there was an enormous crash from inside the lab.

Standing outside the door on either side of it, the two sligs glanced at each other and tried to keep straight faces. A moment later, the door crashed open and a small, pink figure came rushing out in a blur and disappeared up the corridor.

“Seven minutes and 12 seconds,” Said the first slig, sounding slightly impressed.

“That’s a new record,” Added the second.

The door burst open again and a very disgruntled-looking vykker almost fell through. “Where did she go?”

“Uh, that way,” Said the first slig, pointing up the corridor.

The vykker glared at them, realising how he’d just been humiliated by the tiny mudokon and barked, “Well, get after her, slurgs!”

They said their ‘yes sirs’ and ran off in the vague direction that the pink blur had taken.

* * *

Dean was sliding a huge metal tray into an oven when an enormous crash made him jump, and he burnt his elbow on the oven door and suppressed a curse. He turned quickly to see a shame-faced slig frantically trying to scoop a pile of bloody scrab steaks off of the floor and onto a table.

He wrestled with himself not to start yelling and instead called to one of the other mudokons, “Andy, bring that bin over here.”

“It’s still ok!” The slig barked, ill-temperedly, though gave up trying to pick it up.

“It’s touched the floor. We don’t eat what touches the floor,” Dean said bluntly. “Clay, fill a mop bucket and get this cleaned up.”

“Yes, boss,” Barked the slig who had been head-chef before Dean arrived.

“It’s fine! No one will know!”

A deathly silence fell in the kitchen.

All eyes were on the slig and Dean, who both stood very still, staring at each other. The slig suddenly realised that everyone else in the kitchen was siding with the mud, and wondered if he should start running. There were, after all, a lot of sharp objects in the kitchen, and Dean was somewhat closer to the knife drawer.

“Um.”

“We would know,” Dean said pointedly.

“Um.”

“Clay, Andy, clean this up.” The tension lessened, “Craig, go see if we have any more scrab-meat in the store room.”

“There’s none, Dean,” The other mudokon told him. “There’s that meep for tomorrow, and-”

Dean sighed, “There’s that huge barrel of Rupture Farms scrabcakes. Bring those in; we’ll take the pastry off and fry them down.”

The kitchen began to bustle again, and the offending slig backed away slowly, mostly ignored by everyone else except when he got in their way. With nothing to do except stand and feel awkward, he lingered for a few minutes until the door opened and a small, pink mud female wandered in.

This particular slig hadn’t worked at Emlech’s lab for very long, and grinning maliciously, he grabbed the dirty knife he had been using on the scrab meat and approached the child.

“Oi, Mud, you’re not allowed in here.”

She looked at him (spared half a glance for his bloody knife) and rolled her eyes, “I’ve come to talk to Dean. He’s my friend,” She said, sounding unintentionally patronising.

The slig growled and raised the knife, “Don’t you talk to me like that-”

“Anni! What are you doing here?”

The slig was suddenly shoved violently aside by Dean, and the knife fell from his hand and clattered to the ground.

“Put that with the washing up, will you?” Dean said exasperatedly, “And then go and help Craig with those scrabcakes. Dinner’s in two hours. Anni, you’re supposed to be with the vykkers, still.”

Anni’s smile dropped as the slig stalked off, grumbling.

“Anni, they’re trying to help you,” He said, trying not to sound impatient.

Anni gritted her teeth, “They’re horrible. They just like hurting people.”

“They want to help you.”

“I don’t want their help,” She muttered.

Dean sighed at the ceiling in annoyance. “What about the headaches, Anni?”

“There were more when you let them do tests on me!” She said accusatorily, “I’ve not had a bad one for ages now! I’m fine as long as I stay away from them!”

That, annoyingly, was true. He doubted that the vykkers’ tests had been causing the crippling headaches that sometimes woke her screaming in the night, but there had been fewer recently and nowhere near as painful of those of the first few months when she had come under his care, just over a year ago now.

He squatted down so his face was level with hers, “Anni, you promised me this time you’d let them do the tests. After last time you came out, you said you’d let them do the tests the next time if I didn’t send you back then.”

Anni fixed her eyes very firmly on his feet and said nothing, though silently knowing he wouldn’t send her back.

“Next time, Anni,” He said firmly, “I’m going to wait outside the lab and make sure you let them check up on you properly.”

She didn’t raise her eyes, but her posture straightened up, knowing she’d gotten away with it again.

“Go and help Craig get the pastry off of those scrab cakes.”

She nodded, grinning at the floor.

“And wash your hands first,” He added, straightening up.

It wasn’t the best dinner ever, but they managed to mask most of the chemical taste of the processed scrab meat, and Dean’s kitchen had produced worse (mainly when he wasn’t around).

While mudokons ate and sligs watched from catwalks around the cafeteria, the vykkers ate their own dinner in a room a floor above. Doctor Emlech, owner and administrator of the lab, was tucking into his main course when the door banged open and an irate vykker stormed in.

“Can I help?” He asked politely, looking up from his dinner.

That girl!” Hissed the vykker.

“Ah.”

“I will not be humiliated like that! She treats this place like a slig in a barracks!” (This vykker had a very media-influenced opinion of what went on in slig barracks) “She has no respect for rules, no boundaries, completely lacking discipline, no sense of her position…”

Emlech let his ears switch off until the shouting stopped. The twelve other vykkers in the room (there were others in the factory, but for a vykker there were many things more important than such piffling needs as food, sleep and personal hygiene) fixed their eyes on Emlech, eager to hear how he would deal with this little obstacle.

“What would you suggest I do?” He asked quietly.

The vykker gave a very graphic, very rude and most likely very painful answer.

Emlech considered this for several seconds before passing verdict, “Interesting suggestion. I suppose it might deal with the problem, but only because it would likely kill – or at the very least, cripple – her, and that seems a little unnecessarily harsh.”

“What’s the point in keeping her? She’s just another female mud!” The vykker looked around the room for support, and while most of the other vykkers did agree with this statement, none were likely to say it in front of their boss.

Emlech, however, seemed to sense the mood, “I shall put it like this,” He said. “In terms of investment, and potential outcome, losing the girl would cost me rather more that losing any of the vykkers in this room. I hope that that is all you need to know; now if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish my dinner.”

He returned his attention to his plate of food. The vykker stared at him apoplectically for ten seconds before storming dramatically out of the room.

After dessert had been cleared away, Emlech left the executive dining room, made a brief fone call in his office and headed for the lift, nodding to the intern who operated its controls, who obediently set it to take him to the unofficial laboratory hidden underground. A short while later he was sat in his lower office, a bottle of pills and half a glass of water on his desk. He was leant back in his chair, waiting, until another vykker walked in, nodded to him and sat in the chair opposite him.

“What’s concerning you?” The second vykker asked.

Emlech smiled like a man who has just sat down for a chess game with a skilled friend and knows he is in for a challenging, but fruitful, game. “I have dissenters among the ranks; Anni is still refusing to be treated, even after all this time, and the vykkers who do not know what she is are growing impatient. Obviously, I cannot tell them the truth about her, but I think a few of them are approaching the upper limits of their endurance.”

“And I suppose you want to resolve everyone’s tempers without any more bloodshed than is necessary?” The other vykker concluded.

Emlech nodded, “I have a lot of people to keep happy; I don’t want to have to terminate any more employments if it can be avoided.”

“You value your staff,” The vykker said approvingly.

“I value everything.” Emlech replied sharply.

The other vykker nodded and leant back in his chair, looking thoughtful. After some time, he asked, “What effect do you think this is all having on Anni?”

Emlech looked sour, “Her reaction towards the vykkers hasn’t improved at all. You suggested that moving her up to the upper lab would-”

“Would save her life,” The other vykker said easily, and Emlech scowled, “Which it has.” After a pause and a glance at Emlech’s expression he added, “A lot of damage was done to her by those vykkers who took her last year. In some ways she has healed but in others she is as bad as ever. She has gotten over her depression by moving into a more caring environment; she wanted the care that she had with her sister. What does she want now, Emlech?”

Emlech brushed off the question, “What does any mudokon want?” He shrugged, “Food, warmth, a sense of security…”

The other gave him a pointed look, “You make a mistake when you think of her as any other mudokon, Emlech. You know she is different.”

“Then what should I give her?”

“She is still angry at what happened.”

“She doesn’t remember what happened! She is convinced that the experiment was intended to save Nova!”

“Then she is bitter that it failed! It makes no difference; she harbours a grudge and as long as she is surrounded by vykkers every day, it’s impossible for her to forget it.”

Emlech paused, and then spoke slowly, choosing his words with caution, afraid of what he might be talked into, “You’re suggesting that she needs time to forget?” The other vykker nodded, “Time away from vykkers?”

There was a knock on the door suddenly. Emlech swiftly picked the bottle of pills off of his desk and dropped them into a drawer, “Come in.”

A slig entered, “Sorry to interrupt, sir, but…” He trailed off, looking puzzled, his eyes settling uncertainly on the telephone.

“Can I help?” Emlech said sternly after a moment.

The slig looked up quickly, “Um, yeah, yes sir,” He stuttered, staring through the other vykker to look at Emlech, “Got a call from the upper lab; they said I was to notify you that experiment 07…” He glanced at a scrawled message on his arm, “071 is at the…” He squinted at the writing on his arm for several seconds before giving up, “At the stage you wanted notifying about, sir.”

Emlech nodded, “Inform them that I will be up shortly.”

“Yessir,” The slig replied and left the office, after a last curious glance around the room.

Emlech refocused on his visitor, “Where were we?”

“We had just concluded that Anni needs to be separated from vykkers for a while,” He replied quickly.

“And how do you propose we do that? Confine her to her room?”

The vykker smiled at him knowingly, “You can think of a better way.”

“Out of the question; I’m not sending her out of the factory.”

The vykker nodded, “It wouldn’t have to be alone. She has friends to go with her, those two muds the sligs label her with. Obviously, you would need to pick a destination for her carefully, one where she will be properly treated.”

“I’m not going to put her in danger.”

“She may be dying, Emlech, and there is nothing you can do about it because she won’t let your vykkers near her.”

“What will prevent a glukkon from allowing his sligs to beat her?”

The other smiled, “A friendly donation, and of course there are some glukkons out there with rather… modern approaches to discipline.”

“Yes, where all the employees are allowed to run free and do as they wish!”

The other vykker raised an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me that you haven’t considered experimenting with such an approach at one of your other laboratories, Emlech. It could be worth a try, and it won’t hurt you to at least look as some of these places.”

Emlech leant back in his chair and closed his eyes. He could feel a headache building, which meant the pills were wearing off (half an hour sooner than the bottle has promised, too). “I will consider it,” He said bluntly.

A few minutes later, when the headache had faded, he opened his eyes on his empty office.

He glanced into the drawer that was still slightly open, at the bottle of pills inside. He closed it and locked it.

Still, he was tempted to check. He went to the door and opened it. The slig who had been lounging outside straightened up at once, “Has anyone else come through this door?” Emlech asked sniffily, as if to accuse the slig of inattentiveness.

“Nossir!” The slig replied smartly, “No one since I came in with that message half an hour ago!”

Emlech nodded, “I’m going to the upper lab. Tell the computer technicians that I want to access public records for all of the factories within, oh, two hundred miles of here. I want the information available to me this evening.”

“Yessir,” Snapped the slig and gave a totally unnecessary salute before running off. Emlech paused and glanced back into the office, and then nodded to himself and left, locking the door behind him.

* * *

It was 3am that night and Emlech was sat at his desk, a list of seven factories scribbled on top of a pad of paper in front of his computer. All employed few or no vykkers, were lenient on physical punishment on slaves and a few of them even had good references from previous employees.

He was running his pen up and down the list, scribbling in the margins, trying to decide which were best, and what he really wanted for Anni, what was too much and what was too little.

“They have to have some vykkers,” He murmured and crossed off a couple from the list, but left one of those with no vykkers, because their profile gave positive testimonies from a number of sligs who had worked there previously; “Despite some trouble in their first year of re-opening, I got a lot from this job,” One had read, “Even though this factory put restrictions on how we punish muds, I did enjoy working here, and somehow the place kept working!” Said another.

He reflected, bluntly, that of all of those factories on the list, this one had to be his most controversial choice. Past reputation aside, it was still in a site designated as a terrorism hot-spot. The terrorism hot-spot, even! He sniggered, leaning back in his chair and stretching. What sort of crazy glukkon would even think of reopening Rupture Farms?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Sorry. That's what you get when I work in a commercial kitchen for a year. Don't mess with the Dean!

I had a lot of trouble with this chapter, mainly with the issue of Emlech and his 'visitor'. Originally he was just going to talk to another vykker, but I thought that no person (especially no vykker) is that perfect, and certainly Emlech wouldn't let anyone into his trust so much - Emlech is a very lonely vykker, but he likes it that way, and the conversation makes him less than the other vykker, and he always has to be on top, cus he has to be in control. Emlech is essentially a massive control freak. So I had this idea of him taking drugs which allow him to hallucinate a person he can share ideas with, though at first I decided that Emlech wouldn't do that, as he's far too much of a control freak to take the drugs. But in the end I decided it worked a lot better that way than having him talk to a real person.

I also struggled to work out why he'd pick Rupture Farms as a place to send Anni. But you know, at least he's giving it a chance, right?

And finally, I absolutely loved the vykker's, "Graphic, rude and most likely very painful suggestion", and Emlech's thoughtful consideration of it, and the slig who can't read his own arm-writing I'd forgotten about them, I wrote this so long ago, and it was a nice little surprise when I found them.
Can I say that about stuff I wrote?
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Last edited by Splat; 10-13-2009 at 03:48 PM..
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  #195  
10-13-2009, 08:54 AM
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tl;dr.

Now that's despicable.

Nah, only joking. I did read it, and it was very good.


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  #196  
10-13-2009, 09:23 AM
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8D awesome chapter!!!! n.n

your fanfiction certainly is more alive than other stories ...
... i mean the characters in your story make all the other characters from other fanfic out there appear like flat charcters!

the only thing that seemed a little unclear to me is that the guy who talked to Emlech was only a hallucination...

*sits in a corner and waits for more chapters* :3
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  #197  
10-13-2009, 10:26 AM
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Well, it was meant to be slightly ambiguous... I guess I kind of ruined the effect by actually telling everyone.
Also 8D always makes me think of the Cookie Monster. It's good.
I shall post the next chapter on Sunday or Monday.
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Last edited by Splat; 10-13-2009 at 10:58 AM..
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  #198  
10-13-2009, 04:07 PM
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Woo, a new chapter!

Heh, the slig reminds me of someone I know in RL - they pass on messages for you but they are very rarely accurate to what the message was supposed to be
Can't wait to see how you've re-written the events of WARF XD
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  #199  
10-13-2009, 04:24 PM
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I enjoyed reading this I miss Anni. But I'm glad someone's taking care of her.

Anyway it was unclear to me about the imaginary character too. But cool concept.

But another chapter soon!! ^^
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  #200  
10-13-2009, 04:45 PM
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Maaaaan, now I wanna post the next one sooner.
Tell you what, if I get two more chapters written before Sunday you can have it before then.
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  #201  
10-16-2009, 08:40 AM
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Right, change of plan; I've written one chapter since I said I wanted to write two, but I'm gonna post earlier anyway!
Firstly as a celebration of W@RF's seventh birthday; ok, I'm twelve days late, but I got the month right. You know, introduce W@RF to the story around the RPG's birthday.
Secondly, as celebration of Dripik's birthday. Ok, two days late for that one, but it's the thought that counts, right? He did create the RPG that created this story, and I am about to introduce two of his characters with this chapter. Happy birthday, dude.
Thirdly, cus T-Nex really wants me to, and she not only created Anni, but she was also the first person to get me into RPGing, and for that, this story belongs to her Everything that happens to Anni, Dean, Javi and a few other characters to appear over the next few chapters are based on events written by her.
And fourthly, cus I just want to. Plus I think when I was doing weekly updates right back at the start, I was doing them on Fridays, so this makes sense. I'm really trying to get weekly chapters for all of this section.

Since I'm now in RPG territory I'll try and attribute all characters to their respective players at the end of the chapter. If I forget, remind me to!

Also, I'm gonna recap the last paragraph of the previous chapter, because I made a joke there and you'll all going to miss it if I don't.

Ladies and gentlemen, come with me now, and let me tell you a story of Work at Rupture Farms...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“They have to have some vykkers,” He murmured and crossed off a couple from the list, but left one of those with no vykkers, because their profile gave positive testimonies from a number of sligs who had worked there previously; “Despite some trouble in their first year of re-opening, I got a lot from this job,” One had read, “Even though this factory put restrictions on how we punish muds, I did enjoy working here, and somehow the place kept working!” Said another.

He reflected, bluntly, that of all of those factories on the list, this one had to be his most controversial choice. Past reputation aside, it was still in a site designated as a terrorism hot-spot. The terrorism hot-spot, even! He sniggered, leaning back in his chair and stretching. What sort of crazy glukkon would even think of reopening Rupture Farms?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Chapter 31

“Director Arzick, good to meet you,” Emlech said, nodding to the glukkon as he stepped down from the train.

“Welcome to Rupture Farms,” The glukkon replied, “And you can just call me Arnie, if you find it easier.”

“Good grief, you do run things casually,” Emlech muttered before he could stop himself; he had seen far too many tree-hugging glukkons for his own good in the last two weeks.

Arnie rolled his eyes, “I believe you had some business to discuss? We can go straight to my office-”

“Actually, I was hoping I could see around the factory first,” Emlech said smoothly. “I’d like to see how the place runs before we talk about my business.”

Arnie nodded, “We’ll walk along the production lines, if that’s what you want. My security chief will come with us.”

Emlech nodded and he and Arnie followed a middle-aged slig in a very modern-looking mask out of the station and onto a catwalk in the middle level of a tall room containing one incredibly huge three-story tall meat grinder. “There’s enough power in that to make dust of a ball-car,” Arnie said calmly, noticing the direction of his gaze.

Emlech recovered himself, “Looks like it could use a good cleaning,” He sniffed.

Two things began to stand out about Rupture Farms as they walked. The first was that there was a fair bit of machinery not in use, some not even installed. The second was that there seemed to be a very small staff working the place. He saw no more than ten mudokons, and slightly more sligs than seemed necessary to guard such a small work-force. But then he remembered where he was and thought he could hardly blame Arnie for taking security seriously.

They had taken a lift to the second floor of the factory and were watching a pair of mudokons working a machine that was busily packaging paramite pies when Emlech asked, “I heard from your file that you had some trouble a few years ago.”

Arnie looked disgruntled at the mention as the security slig (who went by the name of ‘Number Seven’) went over and spoke with the mudokons, checking up on their work.

“The factory had been open a year – this is the first place I’ve run as manager – and I was unfortunately focussing more on security from external threats than from the internal ones. A couple of muds got it into their heads to cause some trouble; they released a lot of livestock and they and a few others used the chaos as cover to escape. Two of my sligs were killed and I lost about half of my mudokons, as well as most of the paramites in the stockyards.”

Emlech nodded, watching the slig talk with the workers.

Arnie added irritably, “I paid the bill, and I won’t make the mistake again.”
“But I can’t help noticing that your slig over there is being rather unusually respectful to those mudokons.” The mudokons were at that stage returning to work while Number Seven looked on.

“Doctor Emlech, you may recall what happened when my predecessor in this factory decided to treat the mudokons without respect, and I can promise you that all the mudokons who have worked here have some idea of what happened, too. It reassures them to know that they can be treated fairly, and no matter how irritating it can be at times I’ve done my best to keep the mudokons assured that I’m not about to kill them for profit.”

Emlech was mildly surprised and mulled this over as they walked on.

Rupture Farms had been fitted with a small laboratory that doubled as an infirmary, though this was rarely used for anything other than first aid as there were no vykkers working there. This was on the middle floor, and they stopped there briefly on their way to the ground floor. As Emlech wished to continue the tour, Arnie led him into the warehouse.

There was a female worker-class mudokon moving crates in there and Emlech looked surprised, “I didn’t expect to see one of those,” He said.

“They’re cheap,” Arnie replied, “Female mudokons. They’re not as strong as the males but this one pulls her weight.”

“I noticed you seemed to…” Emlech was busy thinking of a delicate way to finish the sentence but Arnie saved him the trouble.

“As I told you earlier, this factory is my first business. I bought the site because it was cheap, and as you can probably guess, I had some difficulty finding investors to back the project. Repairing the factory to a useable level cost me most of the money I had; I have only one production line but apart from the main grinder, they’re all outfitted with two of everything, so that we can keep one off while the other runs. We circulate the products we make – scrab cakes, elum chubs and all the rest of the classics – every week. We make a steady profit but I can’t afford everything. I’ve hired some decent sligs – Number Seven for one, is very dependable, and then I have a slig mechanic called Nick. With proper training, sligs make great mechanics, but no one takes them seriously, so they’re quite cheap, too. Nick is probably more capable than the vykker I hired to oversee the factory’s repairs.

“After that I had to pay rather less for most of my slaves and my other sligs but most, like the girl, are dependable enough. I don’t want to invite trouble so I won’t hire just anyone cheap.”

Emlech decided to be blunt, “Have you had any trouble from natives?”

“I had some sligs investigate the native lands to the north as soon as I bought the place. They found nothing; three decrepit temples and not a mudokon in sight; they cleared out of there long ago.”

This talk had led them through the kitchen and into the cafeteria, where Arnie invited Emlech to take a seat and sat down opposite him. Number Seven ran back to the kitchen to get them food. “Most of what goes into the pies and cakes is offal, and since Rupture Farms never had a reputation for gourmet products, most of the good meat goes to the staff. Wasted on most of them,” He added, “I’ve met no sligs and barely a handful of muds who care about the difference between a good cut of meat and a scrab cake.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Emlech replied as Number Seven presented him with a scrab leg on a plate and gave another to Arnie, picking it up so the glukkon could bite at it.

“Anyway, you’ve seen most of what matters. When we talked over the fone you said something about lending me some employees. As you’ve probably realised, I won’t be able to give you much for any mudokons, so I don’t know if I’m really the glukkon you want.”

“Actually, that wasn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Emlech told him. “I don’t know how much you know about me, Arnie, but I’m well-known amongst most vykker circles. I’m not boasting when I say I am one of the richer vykkers left since the fall of Vykker’s Labs, though like everyone else in the world I took a fall when our little blue friend did his work there. I own a number of laboratories working on various projects and I employ a good number of sligs and mudokons. But as I say, I lost a lot of money with the destruction of the Labs, and now I’m facing the cost. I’m having to shut down one of my laboratories in the north. At the moment I think I can avoid selling it and I should be able to reopen it in five or ten years when the economy has recovered a little.

“The fact is that all of the sligs that worked there are now seeking employment with other managers, and so are a lot of the vykkers, but I want to preserve as many of the mudokon labourers as I can. I’ve put some of them in other places but a few of them won’t fit anywhere else…” He paused then, but he couldn’t help but think that Arnie had impressed him much more than the other places he’d visited, where the glukkons had mostly been oddballs, environmentalists and government-shutdowns waiting to happen. Arnie had given a good reason for his easy policy, and Emlech also liked the idea of Anni working with another female mudokon again. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision on an issue he had intended to spend a lot of thought on, but this just seemed right…

Emlech didn’t believe in any sort of higher power, but if he had been, he may have thought that this was fate. If he’d been able to see forward a few years, he might have stopped to consider who Fate worked for.

“I want to give you three of my mudokons to look after, for a few years. They’ll be in your care and the profits of their work will go to you, under the condition that when I want them back, you’ll give them to me.”

Arnie looked suspicious, “Free of charge?”

Emlech replied easily, “I don’t charge you anything, and you don’t charge me.”

“Three mudokons?” He asked, still suspicious.

“Three mudokons.”

“From one of your laboratories?”

Emlech smiled, “I can tell you’re no fool.”

Arnie looked at him nastily, “Very astute of you.”

Emlech nodded, “Alright, I confess. One of them is an experiment. She’s a female, a test of growth hormones, seeing if worker-class females can be brought to the same standards of usefulness as male labour,” (Well, that was sort of nearly true), “Genetically, they’re easier to produce artificially than males.” (That on the other hand was a downright lie, but he really doubted that Arnie would know that), “The experiment is in an early stage and we don’t expect to see any development in Anni – the mudokon – until she’s two to four years older.” (That was true.) “I know a lot of glukkons would be discouraged by the thought of taking in one of our experiments, but Anni isn’t dangerous. She does suffer from a lack of discipline I’m afraid to say, but I hope a serious factory environment will help with that. On the other hand the two other mudokons I’m sending with her are both very competent workers. One of them is a high-ranking mudokon from out stockyards, and the other is, I’m told, ‘the greatest chef on Mudos’. Certainly, my other employees have been in a better mood since he was moved into the kitchen, and he’s a competent worker on the factory floor, too.” He had done his homework on Anni’s two friends, as he knew he’d have to give them away with her. “You can think of those two as payment for your service looking after the girl – though I’ll want them back with her when I take her,” He added, not wanting the glukkon to get any funny ideas.

Arnie leant back in his chair and considered, “I’ll say you sell them well,” He said at length. “I’d like to take things on a trial basis, say two months; I’ll take them for that time and if they prove more of a hindrance than a help I can give them back to you. If, on the other hand, they prove themselves over those two months, then I’ll keep them as long as you want me to.”

Emlech grinned – a somewhat terrifying expression – “Deal. I’ll have my secretary handle the paperwork and fax you the contract tomorrow. Once everything’s signed, I’ll send them over to you.”

* * *

And so a week later, Javi, Dean and Anni left their laboratory (Anni spent a day saying goodbye to all of her friends and was grinning through her tears as they left; Dean was more serious-minded and was cooking dinner an hour before he left, leaving more than one sobbing slig chef in his wake. Javi on the other hand went off cackling wildly at all the misfortunate people who were losing Dean’s cooking skills forever) and boarded a train with a couple of slig guards on their way to their new lives.

Anni was full of excitement on the journey, completely unable to stay still for more than 10 seconds and chatting wildly to her friends and to the sligs on the train, who she left feeling somewhat stunned.

Evening was drawing in as they drew up outside Rupture Farms and were met by a pair of sligs – one of them a big-bro – on the station.

“Right,” Number Seven said to them upon their arrival, “We’ll discuss your work tomorrow morning. For now, I’ll take you to the cafeteria to get some dinner and then set someone to take you to where you’re sleeping. You three get a room to yourselves tonight, then after that you’ll be sleeping in the bunks with the others.”

They had a meal alone, which Javi said wasn’t bad and Dean said could have been worse, and then Bela, the big-bro, led them to a small room on the first floor set up with three camp-beds.

“When the alarm goes tomorrow morning you go down to the cafeteria and look for Seven or me,” He grunted and left them.

It took them a while to calm Anni down enough to go to bed, and even with them all lying down she was still full of questions, “Do you think we’ll meet a glukkon tomorrow?”

“There’s nothing exciting about glukkons, Anni,” Javi said wearily.

Dean added, knowing she wouldn’t shut up about it otherwise, “I dunno; we might see them around. Now go to sleep.”

About five minutes she started, “What about-”

Dean groaned and Javi moaned, “Go to sleep!”

Anni fell silent, though for a long time she was tossing and turning in bed, unable to settle.

Meanwhile, on the far side of the factory, trouble was brewing.

A female mudokon, Seventeen or eighteen years old, was cleaning an oily mess off of the floor and grumbling to herself, “Not my mess, let the sligs clean it… I’m supposed to be in bed…”

She looked up at a bang and a huge big-bro slig stumbled into the corridor, smelling of alcohol. “Bela?” She said nervously, rising to her feet.

Before the slig had gathered himself another big-bro ran in and shouted, “You think you’re clever?” The smell of alcohol tripled and she scrambled for cover behind a crate someone had left there when work ended.

“Hey!” Bela yelled at the other slig, “You want to put someone’s job in danger, do it to your own! You’re not getting me fired for your mistakes, gtrz!”

“What did you call me?!”

“You heard!”

Almost quicker than the mudokon could follow (which was impressive for a slig so drunk) the second big-bro grabbed his gun from where it was slung at his belt and struck Bela with it, hard. Bela stumbled down the corridor towards the girl, cursing loudly. He pulled out his own gun and the mudokon squeaked, closing her eyes and pressing her face against the crate. She heard a rattle of gunfire and a SLAM! She looked up. The second slig had Bela pinned to a wall.

“You trying to kill me now, slurg?!” He yelled into Bela’s face, “You trying to kill me? You know how that makes me feel?”

Bela tried to answer but all he could do was wheeze – the other slig had his hands around his throat and he couldn’t breathe.

“Expert, get offa him!” Another voice yelled. The mudokon peeked out from around her crate and saw the owner of the voice – a weedy little slig called Reg. Her face twisted with hatred.

“What you gonna do, Slurg?” Expert slurred, his hands still around Bela’s neck, who was gasping like a fish out of water, “You gonna snitch on me? You think you’re a big slig?”

“Expert, you’re gonna kill him!” Reg yelled from his safe place at the far end of the corridor. The two big-bros were so close to the mudokon that she could have counted their scars. If they looked in her direction they’d see her and she had no idea what Expert to do to her when he was that drunk.

“‘Bout grhzzing time someone did!”

Bela’s tentacles were turning grey and the mudokon cowered behind her crate and looked away, but there was a scuffle and a grunt, then a clatter, and she looked up to see Reg had grabbed Expert’s arm and was trying ineffectively to pull him away. Expert dropped Bela, who collapsed in the cradle of his pants, wheezing, but before he could recover Expert punched him on the side of the head, throwing him to the floor, where he lay very still. “You wanna die instead?” Expert roared, throwing Reg to the floor and the mudokon smiled spitefully; now the little slurg would get what he deserved!

Reg was lying on his back, the feet of his pants scuttling on the floor as he tried to shuffle away from the drunk, angry big-bro.

“Don’t be an idiot!” He yelled.

“This is fine with me,” Expert yelled, “I’m sick of you both!”

“Get the grhzz away from me!”

Expert picked up Reg’s gun from the floor, his own lying at the other end of the corridor where he had dropped it before tackling Bela. It looked tiny in his hands as he pointed it at Reg. “Last words?” He growled and though he was so drunk, his hands were frighteningly steady.

The mudokon watched on and suddenly the smile slid off of her face. As much as she hated Reg, when she realised that she was about to see him get killed…

Her legs trembling and cramped, she staggered out from behind her crate and shouted, “Don’t hurt him, Expert.” Her voice sounded squeaky and silly after the loud, low grumbles of the sligs.

Expert looked over his shoulder, saw her and disregarded her, turning back to Reg. “Tell Odd I said he’s a brzstrk,” He grunted.

As his finger fumbled for a trigger far too small for it, the mudokon stumbled in between them. “Leave him alone!” She shrieked, her knees trembling, shaking from head to toe.

The big-bro stared at her with his eyes blazing as his marinated brain dredged for the information of what was before him, “Get out of the way, Kuh… Kix.”

“No! Leave him alone!” She was so terrified that she could feel her pulse painfully in her neck and her chest. Her eyes were watering from the alcohol on his breath.

“I’m gonna kill him!”

“Then you’ll kill me too!” She squeaked.

He glared at her furiously for several seconds, and then huffed as if this was no more than a joke or a prank and stormed away, dropping Reg’s gun and scooping up his own as he passed.

Kix’s legs were trembling so much that she could hardly stand. She turned around slowly to face Reg, who was staring at her in shock. Taking in his face, her expression warped into one of hatred. She opened her mouth to say something cruel, but was stopped by a load groan. Bela was stirring.

“Get out of here, bitch.” Reg hissed.

She stood there, frozen, breathing hard, barely able to comprehend what she’d just done.

“I SAID GET THE CHKUHR OUT OF HERE!” Reg roared and she ran.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Finally, the first bit of action since Stivik quelled that riot! There's been way too much mushy stuff with all this Stivik and Dionysia stuff!

Righty-ho,
Arnie and Seven belong to Dripik.
Anni, Dean, Javi and Kix were originally created by T-nex.
Expert was created by Cyber-Slig.
Bela was created by Will the Wander (or sg...). will Dripik or Nexy get that joke I wonder?
Reg was created by Feeco executive.

All events in this chapter are based on the writings of these guys.

W@RFers, please remember not to post any spoilers for the RPG Some pretty exciting stuff happens in the RPG, so be careful of what you might give away! I'm going to post the W@RF map with the next chapter for those who care

(I was re-reading the first chapter this morning and deleted about six commas.)

LOOK INTO MY EYES! LOOK DEEP INTO MY EYES! WHEN I CLICK MY FINGERS YOU WILL GO AND REPLY TO THIS CHAPTER!!!
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  #202  
10-16-2009, 11:39 AM
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I know, I promised to reply to Chapter 30. Kinda forgot to do it, and I only have the usual reason. But I'm here now and I'm replying.

I enjoyed both chapters, especially the last one (though I have trouble recalling any of this brawl occuring, but it was an awesome read). You provide really good reasoning for Anni's transfer to RF, it's definately not rushed work. The W@RF characters introduced in the last one were described pretty convincingly. As I didn't remember this fight between Bela and Expert, I couldn't recall who the female Mudokon in hiding was, but the revelation was a nice touch. I could also imagine "another aggressive-yet-fun Big Bro" throttling Bela until you named Expert.

All in all, great job on these, very interesting to read. Keep it up!

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  #203  
10-16-2009, 11:49 AM
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I agree too... I just dunno what to say. I always enjoy reading your story.

Also.. Yes I understood the joke <.< And I'm really happy that Will the Wander is but a fading memory x_x
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  #204  
10-16-2009, 01:27 PM
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great chapter ^.^
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  #205  
10-18-2009, 12:55 AM
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Very nice work! Good to see how you've realistic-ified the RPG story XD Funny thing with roleplay, the way how such in depth storylines can be developed without anyone planning it to work out like that. But I'll keep my mouth shut (or should I say keep my fingers ), to avoid spoilers to none RP'ers.
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  #206  
10-23-2009, 05:13 AM
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I know, that was the amazing things about RPGs; we got so much plot out of nothing! It's a shame W@RFs 7, 8 and 9 haven't been so successful.

I've written up to chapter 35 I think, now. There are three fairly distinct sections to this part. The first 'section' I was hoping to get done in three chapters, but it's actually gone to five, and some of them are pretty long (the last of them is the longest yet) so it's fair to predict that this is easily going to be the longest 'Part' of the story. The second Part set in W@RF might well be the shortest.

The fight in the last chapter was... fairly true to the RPG (but made a little more intense) but in the RPG it ended when Kix possessed Expert. Since this was the only time Kix ever had any spiritual powers, I decided not to copy that bit so accurately, plus outside of RPG logic it would undoubtedly end in Kix getting in a lot of trouble, whereas it actually ended in... well, you'll see

So, on with the show!


Chapter 32

Anni and her friends had been woken early the next morning by an irritable looking slig who after persistent interrogation from Anni gave his name as Rycha (in a tone of voice that said “And call me anything else and I’ll garrotte you.”); he led them to the staff cafeteria on the ground floor and got them a breakfast of leftovers (to Dean’s mild annoyance, but no one else was up yet so they guessed that a proper breakfast might usually be served) and then showed them ill-temperedly around the factory’s one production line, telling them about the shifts they would work and what they’d be expected to do, and how to work some of the machinery in a vague way that said he’d done this tour more than once before and still didn’t know what he was talking about. However, they met Seven, the head of security who organised the other sligs, as well as the mudokon shifts, in the main grinders (Anni stared in awe up at the towering pillar of iron and blade, already tearing its way through elum carcasses) who filled in some of the gaps that Rycha had left.

“Don’t worry about him,” Seven told them as the other slig sloped off, “He’s moody but he’ll leave you alone.”

Javi was the one who spoke up, “Hey, me and Dean have some… pretty specialised skills. Dean is like an amazing cook, and was in charge of the kitchen back in the lab, and I’m pretty good at looking after animals; I’d like to help out in your stockyards.”

Seven nodded, “Well I’m pretty busy this morning but we can talk about it later. For now I’ll just show you how the production lines machinery works and see how you get on.” They nodded (Anni bounced) and were led to their post.

It was simple and fairly dull work, a lot of pulling levers at the right times and watching dials and clocks, but they got on with it and Anni was enthusiastic about the new experiences. Seven hurried back in a few hours later and led them upstairs to the packaging area and gave them a new set of instructions for a new set of machines, sending the mudokon already working there to the production lines they had just left. “I’ll give you about an hour here. We’re expecting a delivery soon, and we’ll probably need you then,” He said, eying up Javi’s muscular build.

True to his word, Seven reappeared an hour later, “A couple of new fridges have arrived for the staff kitchen. Lazy idiots left them at the station so we’ll need your help carrying them down.

The mudokons left the machinery and followed. “Dunno if Anni’ll be much help moving heavy stuff around.”

Seven glanced at her, “She can help Kix cleaning the grinders; it’s just next to the station.”

Rupture Farms has fallen largely into disrepair following the terrorist attack that had shut it down. The ‘freak lightening discharge’ that had run through the building to strike Molluck and his slig had also caused some structural damage to half of the plant, and when it was abandoned that half has slowly subsided and collapsed. The rest of the factory had slowly followed it to the earth, helped along the way by an infestation of wildlife from the neglected stockyards and perhaps a few brave natives, and so when Arnie had bought the place he had had a team of builders, overseen by a vykker specialist, do what they could to strengthen the remaining quarter of the factory and kit it out with all of the facilities that had disappeared with the rest, including the ground-floor cafeteria and kitchen, the new board room on the top floor, the well-stocked laboratory in the middle and the enormous pillar of the Main Grinder that ran through all three storeys of what was now Rupture Farms 1029.

The train station, most of which was an original feature, had separate stations on the ground and middle floors, the upper half being for passengers and the lower half for arriving and departing cargo. It was here that the three mudokons were now led towards, Javi and Dean taking the opportunity to discuss their specialities with Seven en route. Outside the door to the station, Seven stopped and pointed to a door at the end of the corridor, “That leads to the grinders, where Kix is cleaning. You can go and join the fun,” He told Anni, who nodded and left them behind.

“Hey,” Seven called just before she disappeared, “If you see a big-bro slig, tell him to come and help us; tell him I’ll be somewhere between the station and the cafeteria.”

Anni nodded and skipped through the door.

“Hello?” She called over the loud noise of the machinery. The room towered over her, criss-crossed with catwalks, and down here machinery was clustered around the edges, obscuring her view of the open space in the middle of the room, but she walked forward through the shadows and came out into the light.

There was a mudokon standing at the edge of a room, leaning on a mop and trying to spot her in the shadows. Anni gasped; it was a female!

She was taller than Anni, perhaps even a little taller than most males but it was difficult to tell because she hunched her shoulders nervously, and skinny. Her skin was green, her eyes white and bloodshot and she had a long, scruffy, scrawny feather that hung almost to her thighs, that was red and purple. Like Anni she wore two pieces of clothing; a loincloth around her waist, much like a male’s, but with an elegant knot at the side instead of a bulky one at the back, and a similar folded cloth around her chest, knotted at the side – this was not for decency, as mudokons were asexual and didn’t think about biology that way, but for comfort and, like the loincloth, to protect a part of the body more vulnerable to injury.

She was squinting into the shadows, looking for who had called her, and as Anni walked forwards her eyes widened, “Um, hi,” She answered, a little uncertainly. She was sweaty and slightly out of breath from the exertion she had been putting into her mopping. “When did you arrive?”

“Last night,” Anni replied, smiling her most friendly smile and almost bouncing with excitement, “What’s your name?”

“Kix,” She replied, relaxing a little, but she was still drinking Anni in, taking in her bleached skin. “I’ve never seen another…” She murmured, trailing off uncertainly, and then suddenly shook her head and looked Anni in the face, smiling, and straightening up, “What’s your name?”

“Anni; Seven told me to come and help you clean.”

Kix smiled warmly, returning her friendship. “Great. I’ve got some stuff over here; you can give me a hand with the floor. Did you come on your own?” She asked as Anni grabbed a mop and bucket from a trolley of cleaning things. “You can get some water from that tap over in the corner.”

“No, two friends came with me, Javi and Dean. They’re helping Seven move some crates or something. How long have you worked here?”

They started chatting amicably and soon Anni was telling her about her previous life, about Dean in the kitchens and Javi in the stockyards, games played with mudokons and jokes played on sligs and Kix laughed and chatted back, though she had less to say. Anni talked about the happy times past, and those she expected to meet in the future, which made Kix smile as they worked. Their conversation was cut off by a bang and a yell, “Hey, you’re not hired to talk.”

Kix’s face instantly froze, and then her expression turned nothing less than feral. “Get out of here!” She yelled angrily as a slig swaggered in, leering at them.

“Oh, so the mud girl’s got a friend? This the newbie that Bunny was talking about?”

“I said get lost!” Kix snapped.

“Hey, you aren’t supposed to talk to sligs like that, slave-girl. Who’s this, then?” He turned his sights on Anni, who looked at him nervously.

“Um, I’m Anni.”

“Leave her alone, Reg,” Kix hissed, but she took a step back as he approached them.

Reg ignored her and kept his eyes locked on Anni, tentacles flaring out in a slig’s unpleasant grin. “Didn’t I tell you to shut up, mud? So where are you from, newbie?”

Anni looked up at him defiantly, “I came from a lab a long way from here. And you shouldn’t talk to Kix like that.”

Reg snorted with laughter, “Ooh, you think you’re something big, kiddy? I talk to grhzzing slaves however I grhzzing want to. Have you ever been beaten up, mud?”

“Anni, come over here!” Kix barked, and Anni turned towards her, and reluctantly backed down from the slig. “Go and find your friends; they’ll probably want you back now,” She said and Anni, again reluctantly, nodded and left the room.

“So you’ve got another little friend to look after, now?” Reg sneered leaning back against one of the machines and leering at her.

Kix turned her back on him and started mopping, scrubbing the same two feet of floor over and over again.

“Is this one gonna end up the same way as the last one, you think?”

Kix turned to him then, clutching her mop to her chest and screamed, “YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER AND-”

“Hey, don’t look at me; I didn’t kill the other one!” He sniggered and advanced on her, raising his gun like a club. She stumbled back from him, “But all I need is a reason, to finish either one of you. You gonna give me a reason, slave?”

“Reg.” It was a deep, bass voice from over by the door. Reg spun around quickly. Expert had just walked into the room. “Get out of here before you end up in the grinder,” Expert rumbled. Reg shot a last loathsome look back at Kix and slumped out.

Kix sagged back against a motor behind her. “Thank you,” She murmured, not raising her head.

She heard the grinding of his pants as he approached, “Kix.”

She cautiously looked up at him.

“I owe you a favour. If he bothers you, let me know.”

Kix blinked in surprise and stared up at the big-bro, speechless. He grunted and walked out.

* * *

Anni had wandered into the cafeteria, but there was no sign of her friends, though one of the big crates has been dumped outside in the corridor. As she walked in she heard a clatter from across the room and walked over and looked over the counter into the kitchen beyond.

“Hey,” There was a mudokon there. He took in her discoloured skin, hesitated, and then asked, “You one our new employees?”

Anni smiled and nodded, “I’m Anni.”

“Rick,” He said, holding out a hand. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Um, no. I just thought my friends might be here. They were helping move some crates over here, and Dean wants a job working in the kitchen, so I thought they might be around.”

“Well they might turn up soon,” Rick said evenly, “I was just cleaning up the kitchen before starting on lunch. You wanna give me a hand? Can you grab any plates or glasses or rubbish lying around out there? And then wipe the tables? Here, I’ll get you a cloth.”

Anni was soon set to work cleaning the cafeteria when the door opened, “So this is where you’ve decided to hide yourself?” Reg sneered, walking in.

Anni looked up and smiled, more confident now she was away from the fearful Kix. “Hi.”

Reg leered at her, “I guess you-”

“Hey, Reg,” Rick called from the kitchen. Reg looked at him, huffed and left. “Don’t mind him,” Rick told Anni after the door swung closed; “He’s just a bully. But if he bothers you, you can just tell me. I get on with Seven, the slig in charge, and Reg knows that if he causes me trouble, Seven will find out.”

Anni smiled at him, “I’ll be ok,” She said, but wasn’t unthankful for the promise.

“I recon you will,” Rick replied, nodding easily, “Now back to work! I gotta get lunch ready!”

It was a few minutes later that Seven backed into the cafeteria, followed by Javi, Dean and a Bela who were carrying a huge crate.

“What’s this?” Rick asked.

“New fridges for the kitchen. Just put it down here guys; I’ll get Nick up to help hook it up this afternoon.”

There was the normal tentative moment as they lowered the crate to the floor, but the job was done without any broken fingers and Dean fell back into a chair, arms hanging limp at his sides. “Ow, my shoulders.”

“Oh, man up,” Javi replied, smacking him on the back.

“You want me and Expert to bring the other one?” Bela asked.

Seven nodded and he sloped off. Seven turned to the mudokons, “Right, well this is the cafeteria. Dean, this is Rick; he’ll show you what we’ve got.”

Dean gave an exhausted nod. Rick grinned.

“Javi, I’ll show you around the stockyards.”

Anni looked up, eyes alight.

“Um,” Javi said, “Anni’s pretty good with animals, too. Maybe you should show her around the stockyards at the same time.”

Seven shrugged, “Fine, why not, if Rick doesn’t need her.”

“She was just tidying up the kitchen for lunch. Dean can finish up once he’s got his breath back and we can talk after it’s done.”

Seven nodded, “Come on then.”

Rupture Farms had huge stockyards which covered more ground than the factory itself. It was surrounded by two layers of 15 or 20 foot tall wire fence, the outer one of which was electrified. There were four security towers around the perimeter which for the most part were unoccupied, though they all had security cameras which could be watched in the factory’s security office.

The stockyards were divided into sections; they passed one with cages of scrabs, one with cages of paramites, one with elums, meeps, a smelly, sticky trash pile for slurgs. The place wasn’t all that well laid out, and there were some empty spaces between sections, some of them where grass and even trees were trying to grow. They passed a very secure building where Seven told them they bred fleeches. “We breed some animals when we can, but otherwise we have them shipped in. Rupture Farms doesn’t do any of its own hunting anymore; haven’t got the moolah for one thing.”

Anni was excited just to be out there and several times Javi caught her by the arm to stop her running right up to the front of a cage; he knew how well she got on with animals, but it was a little strange to watch, and he wasn’t sure how Seven would react if he saw her trying to imitate paramite noises or something.

“And that’s Nick,” Seven said, pointing at a slig standing half inside a machine at the end of a row of cages. “He’s not an animal,” Seven added.

The slig looked up. He was somewhat greasy and he had a large tool-belt hung over a shoulder and around his chest. “These your new muds?” He called cheerfully.

“Mudokons, yes,” Seven replied sternly.

“Oh fine, mudokons then. Does it really matter? Look, they don’t care themselves!”

Seven decided to ignore this and ploughed on, “Nick is a mechanic.”

Nick nodded, “When Arnie opened this place he had some guy wire up a security system in the stockyards, but the guy who did it was a complete cowboy. So I’ve been bringing the stuff up to date.”

“How much longer do you think it’ll take?” Seven asked, apparently trying to divert attention from the mudokons.

“Three weeks? Two, if I don’t have to do too much else before I’m done.”

Seven nodded, “Javi apparently works well with animals, according to the vykker who passed him on to us, so he might end up out here with you a lot.”

“Great, he can give me a hand from time to time.”

“Oh, and before you come out here after lunch we need a hand installing those new fridges in the kitchen.”

“They’ve finally come then?”

They finished the tour of the stockyards and walked back up to the factory with Nick, in time for the afternoon meal.

By the end of the day, Dean was settled in at the kitchen and by the next evening, Seven had decided to take the advice of the letter Arnie had passed on to him regarding the mudokons and had put Dean in charge of the kitchen. Up until then Seven himself had been writing a rota for the kitchen, designating two employees to work there each week, which frequently resulted in a week of near-starvation. It was a relief to have someone competent working in there fulltime who could take over such awkward activities such as organising staff meals and writing the kitchen rota; Dean had a different assistant each week, usually mudokons as Seven and Nick came to be the only sligs he really liked, and they were both too busy to help out.

Anni had introduced Javi and Dean to Kix, and while Kix was initially shy of the strangers, over a couple of weeks she began to open up to them. She and Anni got on well though, and Anni spent as much time working and playing with her as with the guys. Seven had at first attempted to rota Anni with the other mudokons in the factory, but she had proved unmanageable, and in the end he said as long as she kept working, she could help out someone different every day if she wanted to.

For the first few weeks, Javi had been assigned various jobs with the other mudokons before he was assigned to the stockyards for the week where he had gotten on so well that the other mudokon working with him had had almost nothing to do. After that week he kept wondering off from his work and helping out in the stockyards instead and in the end Seven had given up and assigned him out there full time. Since most of the other mudokons got nervous around the animals, no one complained.

Kix was happy to spend time with Anni, and they soon became fast friends, certainly her closest in the factory, but she began to notice that Reg seemed to hang around a lot more when she was with Anni. She was nervous; she knew that Reg was angry that Anni wasn’t really intimidated around him, and she was afraid of him herself; Reg was horrible to the other mudokons, but he hated Kix. She hated him back with more than just malice, though she didn’t discuss this with Anni; she was also terrified of him.

She was also seeing more of the big-bro, Expert. When she was alone he would sometimes appear and stand quietly, though he generally stalked away if someone else came. At first it scared her, but she began to find it reassuring. For one thing, she knew that Reg would leave her alone when he was around. One day she was watching the ovens on the middle floor baking paramite pies and he came in, spotted her and leant against the door frame. She got on with her work for about an hour, but for a few weeks now she had been feeling that she ought to speak to him, and now she broke the silence, “Why do you follow me around, Expert?” She asked, her voice quieter than she’d intended.

He looked at her, surprised, “I thought it was obvious.”

She shook her head, looking at the floor just in front of the oven.

“Like I said before, you saved my job a few weeks ago, and you didn’t have to. I know you hate Reg, cus everyone does, and I know what he did to your friend. But ya know you impressed me that night, right? You know how many people have stood up to me before? How many mudokons?”

She shook her head at her feet.

“You’ve got guts,” He said quietly from his place by the door, and slipped away.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Rick was created by Dripik.
Bunny (aka. Rycha) is based on a character who Feeco Executive created and used about once. He will have a bigger role in this story, cus I like him
Nick was created by Havoc.

Reg is every bit as mean as he appeared He just wants to be loved!!!

And as promised, here's a special version of the W@RF map, adapted slightly for the story (plus with other changes I probably ought to add to the RPG map). The most significant difference is that in the RPG there is one room of bunks that is shared by sligs and mudokons, while in this story there are separate slig and mudokon bunks. Also, remember that nothing on there is to scale. I'm rubbish at scale

Anyway guys, when you're thinking about your replies this week, remember that you get like 20 minutes of joy every time I post a chapter, while all my joy comes from reading your replies! So make it worth my while!
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  #207  
10-23-2009, 06:52 AM
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i like how you described everything, especially when Anni and Kix meet for the first time n__n ... the characters of w@rf are really interresting

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!!! 8D
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  #208  
10-23-2009, 07:57 AM
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I leapt on the opportunity to describe the sort of clothes female mudokons wear. It's a topic that's always been a bit sketchy, so I'm happy to have sort of half cleared that up
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  #209  
10-23-2009, 09:35 AM
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:
I leapt on the opportunity to describe the sort of clothes female mudokons wear. It's a topic that's always been a bit sketchy, so I'm happy to have sort of half cleared that up
I liked that very much. It was clever You've always been good at bringing logic and reason to half-thought ideas and such.

I liked the story re-telling although at some parts it seems like it's a bit rushed :P But I guess that's understandable as describing every single event would end up in 8 thread with 20+ pages in each
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  #210  
10-24-2009, 05:40 PM
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Whoo, new chapter! I don't remember a lot of this stuff, but then it was years ago I actually read the first parts of WARF so that's not surprising But that makes it twice as interesting reading these chapters XD

Oh, and I have proof I've read the whole thing too; there were a couple of typos - mainly it looks like you put "has" instead of "had" a couple of times and this sentence didn't make much sense to me:
"Rupture Farms had huge stockyards which covered more ground than the stockyards itself"

Did you mean "Rupture Farms had huge stockyards which covered more ground than the factory itself"?
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I'LL GET MAH STABBIN KNIFE!

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