Sex #2 -

Strike Witch · #**181** 11-30-2009, 05:36 PM

:

She needs to wax her eyebrows.

You need to wax YOUR FACE

It's so prickly you could stand in for a cactus

used:) · #**182** 11-30-2009, 05:38 PM

What is "shipping"? If it's anything unlike a Nicaraguan Crab Sandwich, I don't care.

Wings of Fire · #**183** 11-30-2009, 05:41 PM

Pairing two characters with no romantic involvement together because you think they belong together.

Also done extensively with pokemon, for...some...reason.

Sekto Springs · #**184** 11-30-2009, 05:42 PM

:

You need to wax YOUR FACE

It's so prickly you could stand in for a cactus

Who the hell waxes their face?
And yes, right now it is. I've been meaning to shave but there's really no one I feel like impressing with a clean-shaven jawline.

Havoc · #**185** 11-30-2009, 10:12 PM

:

4) Invite her over to your house to help with your homework.

However you approach a girl, never ask for sex. This might tempt her into sorry sex and you really don't want that.

Apart from this, I can't give you any more tips, except that you should never pay more than $1000 a night.

Okay let me stop you right there.

Asking a girl to your home to help with your homework might be even more obvious than to ask for sex directly.

Some girls are straight forward like that, which saves the hassle of dancing around the subject. In fact, I've gotten several girls this way.

You should not pay anything a night. Nothing is more hurting for a man's ego then realizing that the only way he's going to have sex between now and a year is to pay for it.

There is something like a thrill of the hunt. The entire process that involves flirting with the girl, picking her up and working up to having sex with her is a thrill that many men seek (and subsequently the reason why so many men cheat). It's an ego booster to know you can pick up a hot girl and it becomes an even bigger booster to get her into bed.

The ultimate mega ego booster, however, is when you manage to make a hot girl pay you for sex. I have no idea how that would work, since any hot girl who has even the slightest clue about her looks should know she just needs to juggle her boobs and men form a line. But apparently it's been done, though not by me, I don't think my ego could handle it. It might explode of awesomeness.

Leto · #**186** 11-30-2009, 11:05 PM

oh my god you dumb fucks with your tips... how about:

1)Treat her like a human being

/end

:

Who the hell waxes their face?

women with moustaches

enchilado · #**187** 12-01-2009, 12:43 AM

In case you hadn't realised, Mr Havoc, I suppose I'd better tell you that the whole post was a joke.

And even if a hot girl asked to pay me for sex, I wouldn't accept. I wouldn't sleep with someone I wasn't attracted to, and if I was attracted to her, I'd do it for free.

Strike Witch · #**188** 12-01-2009, 01:34 AM

Havoc, you're disgusting.

Really, that last bit made my skin crawl.

Havoc · #**189** 12-01-2009, 01:52 AM

:

1)Treat her like a human being

But... that doesn't work.

enchilado · #**190** 12-01-2009, 02:12 AM

The girls I get it on with aren't human anyway, why should I treat them like they are?

Wings of Fire · #**191** 12-01-2009, 04:12 AM

Havoc makes me ill, I'm just instinctively blocking out enchilado's posts now.

used:) · #**192** 12-01-2009, 05:50 AM

Lol. This thread is such a piece of shit.

*agrees with Leto.

abe is now! · #**193** 12-01-2009, 06:49 AM

:

I notice several members of this forum really want to get it on with a girl, but don't know how to start. I recommend following these simple steps:

1) Attract her attention, but don't let her know you're doing it deliberately. Eg, prepare a banana peel beforehand, slip on it as she comes and fall on her.

2) Start to talk about something. Anything. Except sex (this is very important).

3) Hold a conversation with her every day for a week (but never about sex).

4) Invite her over to your house to help with your homework.

5) Tell her you can't be bothered doing the homework any more. There's something else you'd much rather be doing on your desk right now.

However you approach a girl, never ask for sex. This might tempt her into sorry sex and you really don't want that.

Apart from this, I can't give you any more tips, except that you should never pay more than $1000 a night.

This is not true.

Wings of Fire · #**194** 12-01-2009, 06:54 AM

Very incisive Fabio.

OANST · #**195** 12-01-2009, 06:54 AM

I lost my virginity at 15 in the alley behind Rockyanno's Pizzeria. Not in a car. Standing up against the wall. And then my friends drove behind the place, and caught us.

Everyone at school called me Rockyanno's for about two years.

abe is now! · #**196** 12-01-2009, 06:55 AM

:

Very incisive Fabio.

Sorry Joe but I edited it

I feel ashmed..

EDIT: no more..

:

I lost my virginity at 15 in the alley behind Rockyanno's Pizzeria. Not in a car. Standing up against the wall. And then my friends drove behind the place, and caught us.

Had you already come?

Wings of Fire · #**197** 12-01-2009, 06:56 AM

YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER

used:) · #**198** 12-01-2009, 06:58 AM

Lol. I love sex-based nicknames.

abe is now! · #**199** 12-01-2009, 06:59 AM

:

YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER

Feel free to eviscerate me with some shells like Ipazia.

used:) · #**200** 12-01-2009, 07:00 AM

Did AIN just turn vore?

Wings of Fire · #**201** 12-01-2009, 07:02 AM

I love you Fabio, never ever change.

abe is now! · #**202** 12-01-2009, 07:03 AM

:

Did AIN just turn vore?

Don't worry, I won't eat you.

T-nex · #**203** 12-01-2009, 09:30 AM

I would just like to take this opportunity to say that it's pretty obvious Enchilado was joking about those "Tips"... But then again.. He could be that stupid. I doubt it though.

As for Havoc's "Tips".... They truly did disgust me. Havoc, you sound like nothing more than a guy who thinks with his dick.
"OH YEAZ ima go get girls now GRRREAT*!!"
*Fucks girl*
*dumps her*
*feels super ego-boosted*

I really hate when people do that.
And if you really think treating a girl like a human being doesn't work, it's because you're aiming for the lowest of the girls. The ones that desperately seek attention through sex, who most likely have fucked a bunch of other guys and gotten lots of STDs.

What about trying a girl with self-respect? I guarantee you leave the night with a sore crotch after that amazing dick kick she'll have given you.

There's nothing amazing about having laid down 50 girls.

Sorry. I have my principles. I'm tired of girls giving so easily in to guys. And I'm tired of guys treating girls like clowns. Like "Cumdumpsters" as they so happily like to call them.

Yea. This is sadly the bad side of sex

Women should really respect themselves more.

Of course there's the small handful of girls who actually enjoy just having sex, in which case I don't care. As long as the girl can enjoy herself and not regret it afterwards I'll support their actions.

* Said in the voice of the Tiger from Kellogg's

Josh · #**204** 12-01-2009, 10:48 AM

That was greaaaaaaaat!

Why are young girls so obsessed with sex? Really, outside school they dress like mini-hookers. I'm not saying all teenage girls are hookers or that little girls will grow up and have to suck cock just to pay the rent, but why do so many find it cool to look like a WAG threw-up over them. It's depressing that they have no goals and such low self-esteem, that they screw guys because they think it means love. It's even more scary that they are doing it at an age like 13/14.

Wings of Fire · #**205** 12-01-2009, 10:50 AM

It's an identity issue. Calling any teenage girl a slut is a gross misrepresentation.

Josh · #**206** 12-01-2009, 10:57 AM

Yeah, but wearing tops that show more cleaveage than a builders arse, mini-skirts, slathering their face in make-up and going from boy to to boy like I do with tasty snack cakes is kind of slutty.

Wings of Fire · #**207** 12-01-2009, 10:58 AM

Fault of society, plain and simple.

OANST · #**208** 12-01-2009, 11:25 AM

:

Fault of parents, plain and simple.

I fixinated.

Wings of Fire · #**209** 12-01-2009, 11:28 AM

I was including parents in society, but yeah. Point.

Though pop-culture certainly doesn't help, as you so eloquently expressed back in summer.

OANST · #**210** 12-01-2009, 11:29 AM

:

I was including parents in society, but yeah. Point.

Though pop-culture certainly doesn't help, as you so eloquently expressed back in summer.

What did I say? Fuck pop culture? That's about as eloquent as I get.