Splat

[Splat]

MOM News Bulletin

Magog on the March! News for you to choose!

Splat, the author of the superb fanfic, "Splat," reports that he will no longer be writing until 2004 AD(Earth years) due to lack of response from his fans. It appears that in the last week before Christmas Splat only recieved half the required number of replies, meaning no new chapters fo you!
He also sends this message for Seargent Big:

"Thank you for reading and replying Searge! I wouldn't want to ruin your Christmas so go check your PM inbox. Consider it your Christmas present. As for the rest of you, REPLY BEFORE NEW YEAR OR DON'T EXPECT A NEW CHAPTER UNTIL EASTER! (unless Searge feels nice)"

Rumor control has not yet been able to discover weather or not this threat will be followed through, but it is recommendable that you reply NOW! Just in case.
This message brought to you by Fire Flumps: goodness gracious, burp-balls of fire!

[Seargentbig]

Aw, c'mon guys, reply! We *ahem* you don't want to dissapoint Splat, do you?

[The Red Muse]

*wipes sweat off her forehead*

Took me a while to read all the new chappies... argh...

But I'm back and I dearly---dearly---hope that you continue...

*evil eye*

...cuz' if you don't...

*eeeeeeevil eye*

[Seargentbig]

Ok people, that's two replies. The problem is, I don't think that Splat is oin these forums. If someone can contact him and tell him that the new forum is up...?

[Splat]

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

NEW FORUMS, NEW REPLIES, NEWE CHAPPIE!
where was i?

Chapter 29

Splat
I carefully stepped round the puddle of glukkon guts and headed for the far door. I entered and followed the passage forward for a bit. Then I turned right and continued. I could see a doorway ahead that led to a large cavern. I ran towards the doorway and saw a sign above it:

WARNING
KENARRA ROOT IS HIGHLY
FLAMMABLE
NO CIGARETTES, CIGARS, MATCHES, LIGHTERS, FLAMETHROWERS OR ANY OTHER KIND OF OPEN FLAME BEYOND THIS POINT.
VIOLATORS WILL BE SHOT.
SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN.

Really, they made it to easy! I entered the cavern beyond and looked around. Growing from the bare rock at the other side of the cave was a sort of small, stunted bush. I walked towards it and pulled a fire flump out of it.
“They’ll start causing partial lack of sight.”
Well there wasn’t really any other way so I swallowed the flump and burped. They were right about highly flammable! The poor plant didn’t stand a chance! It was COMPLETELY reduced to ash in an instant, right down into the rock it was growing from was a small hole that its roots had been coming from.
Then a mellow, apologetic voice came from the intercom speakers overhead saying: “You have completely destroyed all trace of Kenarra Root, henceforth loosing the glukkons several million moolah in the laquameaty market. As punishment you will be sealed in this stone chamber for the rest of your pathetic little life! Thank you for your time and have a nice day!”
I spun round and saw a metal door behind me slowly closing! I charged towards it, then dropped to my knees and rolled out beneath the door. It slammed closed right behind me, barely missing my head!
Then the intercom spoke again, once more in the apologetic voice: “Assuming you escaped that, we are now going to flood the rest of the mine with gas. We will wait 5 minutes for any decent hard working slig to escape, and then we will gas any poor sod who is unlucky enough not to have reached the exit.”
I took that opportunity to leg it! But, as I said before, the place was a complete maze. I was constantly backtracking, running round in circles, almost getting fried by greeters that were still obediently walking backwards and forwards swinging there motion detectors around! Well, they were robots. Highly irritating robots that kept slowing me down while the intercom overhead kept warning me: “T minus 4 minutes till gas is released.” “T minus 3 minutes till gas is released.”
It was when I reached the 3rd floor and heard that there was “T minus 1 minute,” That I knew I was gonna die in that place.
“30 seconds… …20 seconds… 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. The mines are about to flood with gas. It is strongly recommendable that you get out NOW! If you don’t then I’m afraid that you must now proceed to die. Thank you, and have a nice day.” The voice faded apologetically. The air around me turned green. I gagged as I took in a breath of gas.
Immediately my lungs closed up, stopping any attempts of taking in any air around me! I tried to keep running but everything was going dark! All sounds were blocked out. I was faintly aware of scraping against a jutting out rock. I tried to keep running but it was so hard. My body was so heavy. Why keep going? I was so tired. Why not just drop down and lie here and go to sleep? It would be so peaceful, so comfortable…
I dropped to my knees and felt my bag catch on that jutting out rock and tear open. Bottles of brew, bags of fire flumps and cans of springles rained down around me. Not that it mattered; I could just fall down and lie here and go to sleep. Yes, sleep. Sleep would be so nice. So comfortable. I fell forward…


To be continued... and i hope you appriciate all the sign cause it takes ages to set up all the colours and bold and undelined print. So be grateful you ingrates! (just kiddin!)

[Seargentbig]

I think that in vBuliton(Whatever) v3 it is easier to change the colours and fonts of words, and mix them. But you made them in vBulliton 2, and I do indeed know how hard it was.

[Splat]

*snort*
ingrates... I DON'T DO THIS FOR FUN YOU KNOW!!! (well, actually i do, but that's not important)
Cheers Searge

[T-nex]

OOOOH NOOOO!! HE IS SLEEPING... I mean dieing

[Splat]

Good to c ya T. Is Splat gonna die? Only one way to find out... ...
...
...
... ...look down.


Chapter 30

Splat
…And breathed in sharply! I jerked my eyes open and found myself staring at the edge of a plant of some sort, breathing in cool, sweet evening air. Air! It was so beautiful, so fresh. But where was I? I felt like I was lying down so I lifted my head. Immediately I was in a stone room full of gas. I caught my breath but my gills kicked in automatically and took in a gulp of poisoned air. I felt myself swoon and my lungs close up and next thing I knew I was back out in the cool night air! Holding my breath again and making sure I wasn’t breathing with my gills this time I raised my head once more.
I found myself staring at a small metal hoop. My mini-teleporter! It was lying on the floor of the cave. It must have… I tried to think but my head was becoming cloudy so I stuffed it back through the teleporter to the bottom of the pit where I’d dropped it. It felt like so long ago now that it had slipped into that pit.
I tried to think now and remembered my bag ripping and the brew, flumps and springles raining down on me. Apparently the teleporter had fallen out to! Taking a deep breath I lifted my head and quickly stuffed to closest thing back into my bag before holding the rips together and fixing it.
Then I started to make my way out of the mines. It was very slow work. I had to stick my head into the teleporter every 20 seconds or so. And every time I re-entered the mines I had to make sure my gills weren’t working - it takes a lot more concentration and even energy than simply keeping your mouth shut!
And of course the mines where still an enormous maze, made even harder by the fact that I had to keep taking my eyes off the path ahead, putting me in danger of panicky greeters and helping me to get more and more lost. It was almost 2 hours after the mines had flooded with gas that the intercom spoke again. I was still only on the 5th floor when the voice announced: “Warning, due to highly paranoid security measures on the behalf of Director Kanzorr, the mines will now start to deteriorate. It is highly advisable for all personnel to get out of the mines and away from the entrance. The greeters will be notified…”
There was a stunned silence, then… “BBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZP-P-P-P-P-P-P-PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST-K. Greeters will now begin evacuating the mines. Thank you for your time.”
A large chuck of rock landed right next to me. I stuck my head into the teleporter, took a deep breath, removed my head, and ran like the wind.
Just 3 floors to go, turn left, forward, left, forward. I stopped for breath twice in that time and was almost crushed at least 5 times. Run forward, left, left, back track, right this time, no, that’s the way I cam from! Turn around and forward, right, forward. YES! Found the ladder taking me into the ceiling! 2 floors left.
It took me much, much longer to get round that floor, and constantly having to stop for breath in the teleporter and having to dodge round falling rock didn’t help. But then I found the way up to the last floor. Stop for breath again and run once more.
I kept loosing my way up on the top floor. So many passages, so many dead ends. And a lot of passages where now filled in with fallen rocks, I was starting to wonder if I would ever get out, if it was even possible!
But finally that hole in the ceiling came into sight! Yes! I dove up it and saw the light at the end of the short tunnel. I legged it down there like there was no tomorrow. I only noticed the enormous chunk of rock coming loose from the ceiling just before I ran under it. No time to stop, no time to dodge. My legs carried me under it just as it fell. It hit me HARD in the back, knocking me face down on to the ground.




Crunch!

[T-nex]

AAAAAARGH!!!
He's even MORE dieing!!

[Seargentbig]

Wow! They have some really paranoid CEOs, don't they?

[Splat]

i dunno, i take it as a compliment, neway...

Just a review of what happened last time...


But finally that hole in the ceiling came into sight! Yes! I dove up it and saw the light at the end of the short tunnel. I legged it down there like there was no tomorrow. I only noticed the enormous chunk of rock coming loose from the ceiling just before I ran under it. No time to stop, no time to dodge. My legs carried me under it just as it fell. It hit me HARD in the back, knocking me face down on to the ground.


ON WITH THE FIC...


Chapter 31

Splat
I ran. Ran tirelessly through enormous expanses of wilderness. Over hills, through woods, over deserts, though jungles. Endlessly, aimlessly, simply flying forward for miles and miles and miles. Never getting tired or thirsty. I ran so far I was sure I must have crossed through Mudos, Sligos and Glucose and I would be in the sea soon, but it never came. I just kept on going as if to go on forever.
Forever and ever and ever. Someone was beside me. Running along to. I never saw or heard them there, I just knew that someone was running along beside me. And then he spoke.
It was like nothing I’d ever heard before or have heard since. A voice so powerful that it felt like the world would obey it. A voice that seemed to be made out of everything around me, the grass, the trees, the sky, the hills. And the words he spoke were amazing. They weren’t in another language. Somehow, they weren’t even a language at all. Yet it was clear that they meant something. And though I didn’t understand the words themselves, I could somehow understand what they meant.
I can’t repeat what he told me. I do remember and I do understand and it wasn’t a secret, it’s just… I can’t explain, it’s like, it’s impossible to tell you what he told me with normal words. It was so powerful, so meaningful, so mighty. Yet there was a deep sadness in the voice, some terrible feeling of sadness gripped the being running along beside me, speaking to me.
A terrible sadness in the person next to me, that for some reason I couldn’t turn my head to see. I couldn’t turn my head at all towards him. He kept just out of my line of view at all times. As he ran beside me, as he spoke to me, as he sent me back…

I woke up to find myself lying with an enormous pile of rocks that had tumbled out of the mine entrance behind me. The entrance was completely blocked by tumbled rocks so that no one would ever be able to get inside.
I shook my head to clear it. Mad dream! It made me feel weird but also kind of mystified. It felt so real… so real and… and so great, so enormous!
Well, it’s better than reliving the worst moments of my life all over again, I told myself, shaking my head again. So where are we? Destroy laquameety, check. Save 10 mudokons…

I followed the train line back to the complex where I’d first seen Martor talking with the other executives. There was a lot going on, what with the alarms telling them the Kenarra Root mines had been destroyed and Demana being dead and all. I found myself a computer terminal and found out where lab 377 was, then I set off. I reached the place in a week but spent ages looking around for the actual lab. It took another 2 weeks and there was only a mile-square area to search! There were landmarks at the corners of the land where the lab was hidden: an odd shaped rock, a large tree, a lake and a valley between to mountains.
The place was high security, hidden properly. After realising that it wasn’t like your average glukkon-run factory: sticking a kilometre into the air billowing masses of smoke into the sky, I started a proper search. But I found nothing. 3 miles away from the square was a factory. I decided that I would go and check there if I didn’t find the lab soon. I didn’t really know if I was in the right place (though it had all the right landmarks).
But 2 days from heading for the factory I was searching the rocky hills in the Western side of the area. It was there somewhere that I found a cave. About 10 metres inside the cave the stone walls disappeared and where replaced with metal walls! Another 10 metres in and I found a pare of solid blast doors. Fortunately they weren’t locked; they swung open as I hot-wired the control panel outside!
As the doors swung open I was hit by a solid rush of air and smells and sounds.
The air was putrid, it smelt of sweat and blood and rot and fuel. You could taste it in your mouth. The air seemed to plaster itself against the inside of your throat, making every breath foul. And the sounds, sounds of faint, far off screaming, machines buzzing, wild animal howls that sent shivers down my spine.
And I felt fear. It was normal to feel mudokon-me afraid and I wasn’t surprised by it, nor by the fear of paramite-me who always felt afraid in a dangerous or tense situation when I was alone – it was always more comfortable with company. Fear from my laguameacy side was a bit of a surprise, it was usually confident as long as it wasn’t trapped or injured.
But the thing that took it out of me most, that made me go weak with fear, that made me want to turn around and leg it out of that cave right than and there, was the flood of fear from the scrab inside me. The scrab was always so confident, so sure, so unafraid. It had kept me going through thousands of desperate situations, and now, here it was, wanting to turn and leave right then and there.
But I knew I couldn’t leave. I had something to do and it had to be done, for the mudokons. And to prove to everyone that I wasn’t a psychopathic monster. I took a deep, not very reassuring breath… And marched into lab 377, to complete my quest… Course if I’d known what was in there at that point I would have obeyed the scrab and spent the rest of my life alone!


And now i'm closin down for another week to get some more stuff written. Later dudes! If i don't post next Saturday you'll now no why! Later dudes! *grabs to suitcases, puts on a pair of sunglasses, grabs a wallet and a couple of plane-tickets and runs out of the building*

[Seargentbig]

Wheee! Referals to The Oddworld Story.
Ohhh... Scrab Fear... scary...

[T-nex]

I didn't know that it was possible for scrabs to be afraid.... It MUST be something REEEEAAALLYYY scare!!!

[L.o.]

Awsome! I'll definately be watching this story for a while.

[Splat]

Bad news people! The return/enter key on my keyboard (the one that is used for paragraphing and the like) has decided it's gonna stop working. The problem with this being that, without paragraphing, i can't actually do any writing, which means i only have one and a half more chapters stockpiled which in turn means i can't post anything cause i can't write anything! If the keyboard isn't fixed/replaced by the end of the month I'll give you what i got so far but if you intend on watching this space, get ready for a long wait

[T-nex]

NOOOOOO!! WHYYYYY!!!
I'm starting to FREEAAK out!! Urrrg!!
Hope it'll get fixed

[L.o.]

No prob Splat. Hope it gets fixed soon.

[Seargentbig]

Everything that I wanted to say is already said in "The quest for the Orb"...
canibalistic-you, ey...

[Splat]

GOOD NEWS! It turns out that the problem was a bug i kept gettin from this website every time i went on there. But when we turned the computer off, problem solved, bug was gone! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! And if i didn't have to already-overdue English essays to write, I'd post a whole new chapter now. Stinkin English teacher... (And I mean that in the nicest possible way sir!)

[T-nex]

Yaaaahooo!! (Not that i like yahoo.com)
Hope you'll be done with your homeworks soon!!

[Splat]

I'm loosing my will to live! Pl-pleese n-no m-m-more homework!

[The Red Muse]

Wow...How sweet.

Erm, I would ask you to continue as soon as possible, but I feel too lazy to be typing such...stuff.

You know, what I mean.

You know?

I don't feel like typing.
So, um, continue.

*waves the flag*

Hurrah!

[Splat]

Alrite, ill go write something...

[Splat]

Chapter 32

Splat
Once I actually entered the place it didn’t seem as bad. I had a feeling that most of the smell and such came out of the smoke machines next to the door, probably to scare off animals. But the sounds where real enough, and some of the smell was definitely not there for dramatic effect.
Anyway, the first room I found myself in contained a reception desk with a little card saying “OUT TO LUNCH, BACK SOON” on it, a sign on the wall next to a solid doorway and an MOM news viewer thing.
Well, it always helps to keep up on the local news kids, so I walked up and stuffed my hand in it…

MOM News Bulletin
A slig stands on the stage scratching his butt and smoking a cigarette. He suddenly notices the MOM symbol on the enormous TV’s behind him and spits out the cigarette and grabs his microphone off the floor.

“Magog on the March, news you can’t afford to loose!
Director Kanzorr reports that Laquameety productions have been postponed:”

Kanzorr: It ain’t my fault! What ya all lookin at me for! It weren’t my fault! Terrorists did it!
Mudokon reporter: But weren’t you in charge of stopping terrorists getting at the ingredients?
Kanzorr: GUARDS! (Sound of gunshot and some red liquid splatters onto the camera lens) Can you edit that bit out?
Cameraman: Sure!

“This incident has been repeatedly compared to the fate of Meech Munchies, in which the creatures, meeches, were hunted to extinction when several scrabs broke into the main stockyards. When asked about these rumours, Director Kanzorr answered:”

Kanzorr: Oh, don’t remind me about the meeches! WHY DOES EVERY BUSINESS I HAVE TO BE HIRED INTO HAVE TO FAIL?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS CONSTANT, MERCILESS FAILURE IN ALL I DO… can you edit that bit out to?
Cameraman: Of course, anything you say man!

“These unfortunate events are topped off by the sudden and untimely deaths of high ranking executives, Dr Demana and President Martor. Prior to these events, the reward for the capture of the terrorist, Splat was boosted up by another 15000 Moolah.
This message brought to you by Springles, the snack with in-built jet propulsion!

Splat
Martor died! Well I didn’t kill him… So who did? Well no point wondering, I had 10 mudokons to save! I looked at the sign on the wall and realised it was an elevator directory. Scanning it quickly I found that Test Subject Bunks where on the 8th floor, along with Cute and Cuddly Labs and R+R Rooms.
Cute and Cuddly Labs? That’s just weird! I remember thinking, oh well.
I realised that the door next to me must be the elevator so I stepped through it, spotted the control panel on the wall, next to a big blood stain, and pressed the number 8. The lift rattled to life and I felt it descend bumpily through 8 floors.
The lift ground to a halt and I stepped out into a corridor. This place definitely smelt more… bloody. I couldn’t hear much screaming though, thank Odd. Course, if I’d known what was comin next I would have waited before giving thanks.
My first thought was to work out whether I was in R+R, Cute and Cuddly or Bunks. I looked around the corridor I was in and spotted a sign down the hall. So I went and read it… (Awkward silence)… Well anyway, I went and read the sign and it said, in big bold letters:
YOU ARE IN CUTE AND CUDDLY LABS.
R+R ROOMS>.
TEST SUBJECT BUNKS> BEYOND R+R ROOMS.
A few minutes later I was creeping down the corridor in the direction that the arrows had pointed. The corridor was made of smooth colourless shiny metal, broken occasionally by a door or bloodstain. The bloodstains unnerved me a bit at first until I had been walking for about an hour and had realised that they were pretty much the only interesting things in the place. A few corridors branched off mine every so often but so far I hadn’t seen another living soul. It made me feel lucky but also made me nervous – I’d already fallen for one trap on this stupid quest! I’d heard no sound and seen no movement other than my own reflections in the metal walls for ages.
Vykkers had a lot of buildings with shiny walls these days. It was meant to be unnerving but after spending about 4 (Earth) years of my life in a lab, I was used to it. I wasn’t used to the silence though.
So when there was a loud clash, clatter and buzz behind me I leapt about 4 feet into the air and spun round into a battle stance. I caught sight of something white leaping out of a featureless door I’d just passed before it charged down the corridor, barrelled into me and threw us both to the floor in a heap of legs and fluff!

[Esus]

Yeah! keep it comin'

[T-nex]

OOOOOH!! NOOOOOO!!! I Spilled some coffee on my shirt.... Just kidding...
What will happen to splat!!!!????? WHAAAAAAT!!!!!!.....
...
...
... Oh damn.... I spilled some coffee on my shirt again... DARNNN

[Seargentbig]

Creepy, barreling, crushing, fluff-
Ohhh. I have a feeling that I know what it is...

[Splat]

you guys wont like the next chapter, Heck, i dont like the next chapter!

[L.o.]

*grins* Great stuff, Splat. Keep it comming please