The Joke Thread -

used:) · #**121** 07-08-2006, 05:47 PM

Like Robot Chicken, South Park or Family Guy?

Mutual Friend · #**122** 07-08-2006, 05:53 PM

I'm only gagging with you. I couldn't define my sense of humour. Maybe snarky. Oh, I just did define it.

I was just saying how all the paedo/dead babies/holocaust stuff leaves me cold now. I loved that kinda thing when I was younger. Not to say it's immature or anything, just not for me.

That was all.

And I've never heard of Robot Chicken. I dislike Family Guy. South Park is good, when the writers stop trying so hard to be 'cool'.

Boom boom!

used:) · #**123** 07-08-2006, 06:01 PM

Robot Chicken is the only Adult Swim-made program to not make think "this is a piece of shit, as usual." I think its celebrity skits are hilarious as some of its other ones.

Suth Partk used to be great, but I think Parker and Stone have just conked out of inspiration. Some of their ideas from the more recent seasons were good, but the episodes were still shit because they just weren't that funny, to me at least. They have lost their Montey Python sort of attitude which was what gave the show some good side humor to keep you watching. I suppose the political parodies are okay these days, but they could have carried them out more cleverly.

As for Family guy, it has its moments.

Mutual Friend · #**124** 07-08-2006, 06:08 PM

Actually, on second thoughts, I never knew the fun you can have with the Holocaust:

What's the difference between a ton of coal and a thousand Jews? Jews burn longer.

Why did the Auschwitz shower heads have 12 holes? Because Jews have 10 fingers!

Question: Why don't Jewish cannibals like eating Germans? Answer: They give them gas.

The things you find on t'internet, eh? Boom boom!

Statikk HDM · #**125** 07-08-2006, 06:11 PM

Family Guy is terrible. It used to be a ritual for me back in school: Sunday night lineup on the Big Screen(tm). Now its just leaving me cold. Terrible plots, too many in jokes and references to past show content, the "flashbacks" are grating and uninspired, the cheap laughs it milks from things like He Man, the Noid, and other crap from the 80s and mid 90s are starting to bore and frustrate me, too. American Dad has actually matured and grown into a better show than Family Guy. Simpsons has been uniformly unwatchable since, oh, a good 4 or 5 years ago.South Park is alright when it doesn't try too hard, which is rare nowadays. And the writers are libertarian douchebags who politicize everything. The show was incredible for the first say, 3 or 4 seasons, but its really dropped off in my opinion.

Statikk HDM · #**126** 07-08-2006, 06:13 PM

I think this warrants a new post as it is solely about South Park. I think South Park really jumped the shark, that is reached the height of its potential and you knew, deep down in your gut you knew, that it was all downhill from here after the movie. Seriously, that was one of the best comedies, no just movies, out of the 90s. Period. They couldn't top that if they wanted to it was that damn good.

OANST · #**127** 07-08-2006, 06:16 PM

Jumping the shark doesn't mean reaching the height of potential. It refers to the happy days episode where Fonzy jumped over a shark on water skis and means that the show has sunk to such a horrible low of badness that it will never rebound and will never be watcheable again.

Statikk HDM · #**128** 07-08-2006, 06:28 PM

I know, but alternative of that is it doesn't always have to be the worst point. It just is the point where you know "Oh shit, this thing is gonna take a nosedive right about now." Thats how I think of it. But if I were to say what the conventional Shark Jump moment was I'd say either The Passion of The Jew or Scott Tenorman Must Die.
Taken directly from the website
"it's a moment. A defining moment when you know that your favorite program has reached its peak. The instant that you know from now on...its all downhill. Some call it the climax...we call it jumping the shark."

OANST · #**129** 07-08-2006, 06:30 PM

What website?

Statikk HDM · #**130** 07-08-2006, 06:38 PM

www.jumptheshark.com It is pretty good, and that is the official web and book definition. Thinking that jumping the shark means "worst episode" is a rather common misconception.

OANST · #**131** 07-08-2006, 09:19 PM

mmmmmmmmmmmm. No. That's exactly what it means. Some people created a new meaning for it is all.

Statikk HDM · #**132** 07-09-2006, 12:21 AM

The creator of that "cult" website and author of the book originated the phrase. I think the creator of the neologism knows what he's talking about a little better than we do. FYI, that site has existed for nearly 6 years.

OANST · #**133** 07-09-2006, 10:42 AM

Hurray for that site. Too bad the term has existed for closer to twenty years and means exactly what I said it means.

Statikk HDM · #**134** 07-09-2006, 12:02 PM

Who were the first people to use that coined phrase in pop culture? That website, in 97. And it doesn't mean the worst show, its friggin' obvious what phrase means. If you doubt me you could google. wiki it, or go to the official web site. Jesus. Everything I say you have to contest, and you never let it go. So they weren't the first to coin it. I thought they were, but its obvious that they weren't. I concede the point. I don't concede that they were the first to use it successful and directly in pop culture and define it. Regardless of origins you're clearly mistaken about its usage and meaning. I'm done with this dick waving contest. I await your white flag post of "Honestly Statikk, I don't give a good, long mother**** about this."

OANST · #**135** 07-09-2006, 02:43 PM

No, no, no, no, and no. The only thread that I said that to you in was the faith thread. And that was because you had actually taken what I was saying the wrong way. I merely showed you that I didn't care if you were an atheist or not. I was only trying to correct your stance that atheism is the only logical decision a person can come to. And you took it the wrong way. So I corrected you. In other words, don't try to make it look I weaseled out of an argument or raised a white flag because that is obviously not what happened. And also, it's been a part of pop culture for almost twenty years. I was only trying to make a correction. You wanted an argument.

Mutual Friend · #**136** 07-09-2006, 06:28 PM

None of the above discussion has made me howl with laughter.

used:) · #**137** 07-09-2006, 06:30 PM

I'll make you laugh.

What's green and smells like Miss Piggy?

Kermit's finger.

Mutual Friend · #**138** 07-09-2006, 06:34 PM

That didn't make me piss my pants with hilarity either.

But at least you tried.

Woe betide me!

How do you refer to a queen with a pie on her head?

Her royal pieness.

Boom boom!

used:) · #**139** 07-09-2006, 06:41 PM

What's the queen using the toilet called?

A Royal Flush.

HAHA OmG lollyz0rds!!!111!!!one

Statikk HDM · #**140** 07-10-2006, 12:28 AM

Trojan is making a new line of super sensitive condoms. They pillow talk with the bitch when you're done so you aren't late for work.
Whats the difference between a dryer and a woman?
A dryer doesn't call you after you throw your load in it.
What did the two dyke frogs say to each other?
"By God, its true! WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!"
Whats the difference between money and a dick?
Men don't have to beg their girlfriends to blow the money.
How do you know you have a high sperm count?
Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye killed him.
You hear about the new Exorcist movie?
The parents hired Satan to remove the priest from the child.
Edit, because this one is damn good.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
By golly, I feel like a kid again!

Slig_Cake · #**141** 07-10-2006, 02:13 AM

lol nice.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those evolutionary things. It helps them get closer to the kitchen sink.

And for **** sake. I am not offended by Irish jokes in any way!

Mudoko_Jedi · #**142** 07-10-2006, 04:45 AM

An irish men and a new zealander walked up a fence, they came across a sheep stuck in a hole. The newzealander got down a ****ed the sheep, he then said "ok now its youre turn". The Irish men got down and put his head in the hole.

If you dont know the Irish and newzealender myths then you wont get it.

E'l Scrabino · #**143** 07-10-2006, 04:46 AM

You're right. I don't get it.

***Nate*** · #**144** 07-10-2006, 07:11 AM

I am repeating this joke in reference to Slig_Cake's. I do not (necessarily) share its sentiment.

Why do brides wear white?
All kitchen appliances are white...

Statikk HDM · #**145** 07-10-2006, 12:27 PM

What do you call a New Zealander who raises sheeps and goats?
A bisexual.
What do you call a New Zealander holding a sheep in each arm?
A pimp.

Fez · #**146** 07-10-2006, 04:23 PM

What do you do if an Elephant comes through your window?

Swim.

Statikk HDM · #**147** 07-10-2006, 06:23 PM

Awesome.
Edit: I'm surprised nobody has said a Michael Jackson joke. This is my favorite joke or Jackson observation, from Lewis Black:
"Michael Jackson. That's all I gotta say. That really is all you have to say. You don't even have to say anything. You don't even have to say a joke. Everyone has a vision in their head, as soon as you say 'Michael Jackson,' you see a guy, a ****ing deformed **** running around with a God-damned monkey, you go 'what the ****!' He's become a punch line. He has. Michael Jackson is a punch line... to any joke you want. If you forget the punch line, all you have to say is 'Michael Jackson.' Two Jews walked into a bar...Michael Jackson."

Slig_Cake · #**148** 07-11-2006, 05:02 AM

What was the worst header of the 2006 World Cup?

Zidane. For the most inaccurate attempt on headbutting the Italian's nose. How he could miss I will never know.

Leto · #**149** 07-11-2006, 06:08 PM

@Mudokon_Jedi: I don't get it, save the sheep****ing reference.

ANN NEELY · #**150** 07-11-2006, 09:21 PM

What does Michael Jackson like best about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them!

What is the difference between ignoraance and arrogance?
I don't know and I don't care!

How do you embarass an archaologist?
Give him a tampon and ask what period it's from!

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but it's still a mystery how they got in there!

What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce?
Someone's gonna lose a trailor!

How do stop from having children?
Screw your sister-in-law, and you'll have nephews!

What is the name of the disorder when you become obsessed with terrible songs?
Pop Culture!

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent.

What does your girlfriend and an MMORPG have in common?
They're both long, expensive, and full of monsters!

If a four year old kisses you on the lips twice, what do you do?
Hit it with a newspaper and say "no"!

Did you hear about the pirate movie?
It's rated arrr! *Is shot*