The Joke Thread -

Mutual Friend · #61 07-01-2006, 05:55 PM

My mum died due to complusive overeating.

Nah, only shitting you. She's alive and well. She is fat, though.

OANST · #62 07-01-2006, 06:03 PM

:

I love Yo Momma jokes!

Yo Momma is SO FAT! They had to evacuate the beach because she wanted to roll over! BOOM!

Yo Momma is SO FAT! When she takes a dive in the ocean, the entire eastern shore will be whiped out!

Yo Momma is so stupid that she laughed at those jokes.

Havoc · #63 07-01-2006, 06:05 PM

My Momma probably would!

OANST · #64 07-01-2006, 06:28 PM

Daaaammmmmnnnnnnn. He called his mamma out!

used:) · #65 07-01-2006, 06:37 PM

Yo mamma's so fat, my cat spent all of its nine lives trying to get around her.

Yo mamma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

OANST · #66 07-01-2006, 07:01 PM

How do you stop a baby from drowning?

Take your foot off of its head.

Leto · #67 07-01-2006, 11:43 PM

You are full of them, Sir Oanst.

Mudoko_Jedi · #68 07-02-2006, 12:48 AM

yo mamma is so fat we ran out of fuel swerving round her in our car.

yo mamma is so fat the only thing stopping her going to see a diet recommender is a door.

yo mamma is so fat she has her own atmosphere.

yo mamma is so fat youre dad was having sex with her and he rolled over five times and he was still on top of her.

Lord Vulcher · #69 07-02-2006, 04:31 AM

What are the simalairities between Michael Jackson and a knife?

Answer: They are both dangerous to children.

Mutual Friend · #70 07-02-2006, 05:45 AM

:

What are the simalairities between Michael Jackson and a knife?

Answer: They are both dangerous to children.

That man was proved innocent. Why can't you people leave him alone?!

Boom boom.

Lord Vulcher · #71 07-02-2006, 05:49 AM

:

That man was proved innocent. Why can't you people leave him alone?!

Boom boom.

Sorry, I never knew you liked him.

Mojo · #72 07-02-2006, 12:32 PM

Yo momma is so fat, she has shoe size CANOE!

Yo momma is so fat, that when she fell in down the Grand Canyon, she got STUCK!

Yo momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes of film!

Yo momma is so fat, when her beeper went offm people thought she was backing up!

Yo momma is so fat, when you climb on top of her, your ears pop!

EDIT: Ba-dum TISH!

Lord Vulcher · #73 07-02-2006, 12:39 PM

When the forensic scientists did an autotopsy on Michael Jackson's body, what did they find on his head?

Answer: Made in China

Leto · #74 07-02-2006, 05:59 PM

Yo mamma so fat, when she sat on a park bench she was engulfed in a river of semen.

Lord Vulcher · #75 07-02-2006, 11:57 PM

Listen, I'm starting to find all these yo mamma jokes a bit boring. You practicaly have a whole page of them.

Mudoko_Jedi · #76 07-03-2006, 01:24 AM

whats the same between michale jackson and a playstation.

their both made of plastic and kids turn them on.

Lord Vulcher · #77 07-03-2006, 01:42 AM

If a blonde and a brunette jumped off a building, which would hit the ground first?

Answer: The brunette: because the blonde stopped to ask for directions.

E'l Scrabino · #78 07-03-2006, 01:52 AM

Blonde jokes now? I'll haf to think some up...
Oooo! Got one!

Two blondes were walking down a street, and one of them was carrying a big bag, one asked the other, "What's in the bag?" The other said, "Chickens." "If i can guess how many chickens there are in the bag, can i have one of them?
replied the one without the bag, "If you guess how many there are, i'll give you both of them!" "Well, i think you have three..."

Mudoko_Jedi · #79 07-03-2006, 02:21 AM

Patrick Vykkers · #80 07-03-2006, 02:39 AM

Yo momma's so fat, I had to take two buses and a train just to get on her good side!
Yo momma's so ugly, Halloween is the one day of the year when she DOESN'T have to wear a mask!
Yo momma's so fat, she went to Japan and they thought she was Godzilla!
Yo momma's so old when the Big Bang went off, she said, "You kids turn that damn noise down!"
Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked in front of the T.V., I missed all the Star Wars movies!

Lord Vulcher · #81 07-03-2006, 03:23 AM

One day a blonde put 50p in a vending machine and got a can of coke. Then she put in £1 and got 2 cans of coke. After a while, a man behind her said, "Ere love, are ya done yet?" The blonde replied, "No, I'm winning."

Leto · #82 07-03-2006, 05:18 PM

:

Listen, I'm starting to find all these yo mamma jokes a bit boring. You practicaly have a whole page of them.

Yo mamma so fat that when she gave birth to you she had to eat part of your underdeveloped brain. Sorry you're so spastic.

Slig_Cake · #83 07-03-2006, 10:57 PM

A duck was walking in the park one day trying to figure out what kind of animal he was. So he asked the skunk nearby. What am I?
The skunk said 'well, you have feathers, you waddle, you have a bill...must be a duck. By the way, can you tell me what I am?'

The duck looked at him long and hard and said 'You're not black...but not white either...you're hairy all over...and god you smell really bad. You have to be lebanese.

How many lebo's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Eight. One to screw it in, the other seven to tell him he's a 'mad c*nt'

What do lebos and ciggerettes have in common?
They both stink, come in packs of 20's and everyone wants to ban them from public areas.

used:) · #84 07-03-2006, 11:00 PM

It's people like you who make me wonder how in the hell your country is ranked third on the Human Development Index.

Patrick Vykkers · #85 07-03-2006, 11:26 PM

*Not to used* Go back to Germany, die Fuhrer!

Mudoko_Jedi · #86 07-04-2006, 12:07 AM

you go back u damn nazi scum.

no kidding

Slig_Cake · #87 07-04-2006, 04:20 AM

Trouble with society today is we have double standards. I know a lebanese person who's heard these jokes and he just laughs about it. Why? They're jokes. I know my recent posts about the lebanese may have made them look worse, but get over it.

You know I feel that a really unfair stereotype is having Irish people as the stupid ones in every joke. What'd they do to earn that? I'm sorry we can pick on them because they're white. White people are always the bad guys arn't they?

And Used I couldn't help but get offended recently when you had 'Australians suck' as your sig. I have no idea how you can get away with such a racist comment. I wonder what everyones reaction would be if I wrote 'Why is it that all Asians suck' as my sig?

***Nate*** · #88 07-04-2006, 06:13 AM

:

It's people like you who make me wonder how in the hell your country is ranked third on the Human Development Index.

Sometimes I wonder the same...

used:) · #89 07-04-2006, 07:26 AM

:

And Used I couldn't help but get offended recently when you had 'Australians suck' as your sig. I have no idea how you can get away with such a racist comment. I wonder what everyones reaction would be if I wrote 'Why is it that all Asians suck' as my sig?

I'm getting rather tired of people using the term 'racist' incorently. I haven't ever heard of Autralians or Serbians being a specific race before. Anyhow, I can clearly see you didn't get what I meant it assuming you read the bottom bit of my siggy.

But all is well, said and done. Cease this talk of a siggy old, we shall, as I have dawned a new siggy of crispy bread and apparations.

Leto · #90 07-04-2006, 08:32 PM

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You know I feel that a really unfair stereotype is having Irish people as the stupid ones in every joke. What'd they do to earn that? I'm sorry we can pick on them because they're white. White people are always the bad guys arn't they?

Is it possible that you're of Irish descent? Most stereotypes are silly, especially these 'lebo' ones.

What happens to people that call other people Nazis for having a different opinion?

God smites them.