Most of my friends don't do anything endangering to their lives (thank God). I do know one girl whom I was told towards the beginning of the year, to my great surprise, does drugs, cuts herself, and all kinds of other, well, ungood stuff such as that. It really freaked me out, and it still does in fact (although if the cutting thing was true, which I'm inclined to doubt, she no longer does it). I think she's smart enough, and has good enough friends, to stay out of mortal danger, but I still think about it, and it disturbs me greatly. Plus there's always the shock of finding out about some whole other, darker side to a person that you never would have imagined. I'm so very tired of having to face that.
I don't fear my own death at all. The whole idea is very esoteric and hard to get my head around, and I know it won't be for a long time anyway. Plus I'm mildly optimistic. The absolute worst that can happen, as far as my beliefs go, is that I'll simply cease to exist, and if that happens, there will be no me left to regret the fact that I don't exist. Or something.
Jacob, you disturb me.
__________________
Step right up and shoot pasties off the nipples of a ten-foot bull dyke! Win a cotton candy goat!
|