Yay Jesus Freak!
First thing I would do would be to strip Alcar of his admin-status for a while, just for the sake of poetic justice.
Then I'd give OANST the custom title 'baby-eating maniac' cus even after however-many-years-its-been he still infuriates me.
Also I'd probably recolour employee lounge canary yellow cus at the moment its about the dullest place in the forums. Plus the yellow will hopefully end some of the morally corrupt business arrangements and quiet assassinations that are going on in there.
Also, just to really confuse everyone, I'd swap the names of various members with each other, so Rex will be called Alcar, Alcar will be called Mitsur, Mitsur will be called Munch's Master, MM could be Zozo and so on and so forth.
Then I'd ban everyone who didn't vote for me as Forums best writer this year.
And to finish off I would change the default font of the forums to 'wingdings 3' and go off and laugh to myself for eight hours.
Oh, and I would give Patrick a custom title, probably something along the lines of 'I smell'. Vengence is mine!