Hey baby -

Wings of Fire · #61 02-05-2011, 06:24 AM

I would like to wear women's lingerie on valentines day, just once.

Manco · #62 02-05-2011, 07:27 AM

:

that was actually an incredible post.

this year i will be doing the same as last year. hanging myself, whilst masturbating and wearing women's lingerie. with a bag over my head. its my annual treat.

David Carradine posts here?

MeechMunchie · #63 02-05-2011, 08:55 AM

You do realise you have just collectively crushed my teenage aspirations of romance?

Dixanadu · #64 02-05-2011, 09:01 AM

This Valentine's will be the first in four years that I haven't shared with a significant other.

This means I can ride other people and not feel bad.

OddjobAbe · #65 02-05-2011, 11:38 AM

Valentine's Day is a day which capitalises on the lust that we all naturally feel. It is to me what cancer* is to somebody who's just won the lottery - irritating.

Although these are the words of a senile old cynic. Pay no attention.

*If you're awkward, replace this with "a person who is definitely going to die prematurely". That should convey the message just as, if not more efficiently.

T-nex · #66 02-05-2011, 11:54 AM

Actually, Id be more than happy to win the lottery if I had cancer. I'd spend it on the best medical treatment available.

Disgruntled Intern · #67 02-05-2011, 01:34 PM

If you're seriously asking this lot how to score some cootch, your chances are probably slim and none.

My advice? Go for the fatties and/or low self esteem-y broads. Probably the best bet for someone like you. That or grow a fucking pair and start talking to women in real life and quit asking for fucking advice on a god damned video game forum.

Dynamithix · #68 02-05-2011, 01:51 PM

Woo, real advice.

MeechMunchie · #69 02-07-2011, 09:15 AM

That post would be more effective if DI hadn't given advice last time someone asked for help getting girls here.

Disgruntled Intern · #70 02-07-2011, 10:10 AM

I can only be genuine every so often.

STM · #71 02-07-2011, 11:12 AM

Ok, so I'm guessing in the end you did jack shit with her? SO go hit her with a spade and put her in your boot / trunk. Remember, its not rape if you surprise!

Disgruntled Intern · #72 02-07-2011, 11:15 AM

:

Remember, its not rape if you surprise!

I think you have that backwards.

STM · #73 02-10-2011, 09:20 AM

Sorry, should be it's not rape if you shout surprise.

Hazel-Rah · #74 03-05-2011, 11:36 PM

Make sure you don't havbe hairy shoulders like me

Josh · #75 03-06-2011, 03:31 AM

No means Yes and Yes means Anal.

Havoc · #76 03-06-2011, 04:59 AM

The very words I live by.

scrabface · #77 03-08-2011, 01:14 PM

Oh for the FUCK!

I met this girl some weeks ago at work and we talked much. she was great. really funny and wow she even laughed about my jokes, FOR REAL! than she was gone I've never seen her again. until tonight. I was working again and suddenly this beautiful girl was smiling at me. but I was just looking at her with this dumb expression, no reaction, because I didn't recognize her instantly. wth? I don't know what happened, she looked totally different, she wore makeup and an evening dress.
so her smile turned into a kinda disappointed expression and she wandered off to her friends; she even kept them waiting to say hello.
OMG the moment I remembered her. And I instantly went NOOOOOOOOOOOO

I tried to catch her, but couldn't find her again. well, she's in a music school and that's why she was there tonight, listening to her classmates. so I grabbed one and asked him, if he got her number. he hasn't got her number. so I told him to apologize for me.
but that looks weak, dunno what else to do...

Hazel-Rah · #78 03-08-2011, 01:45 PM

HA! Wow, been there. Yeah learn to smile more often, people nowadays seem to think they have to go through life scowling to avoid lawsuits but the truth is you just look like a douche.

Also women will never like you if you reference the Star Wars prequels.

Ridg3 · #79 03-08-2011, 02:04 PM

No-one will like you if you reference the Star Wars prequels. Just go up to her and say you didn't recognize her THEN compliment her on how stunning she looked hence why you couldn't recognize her. She will be flattered and you will be forgiven.

Manco · #80 03-08-2011, 02:14 PM

:

Just go up to her and say you didn't recognize her THEN compliment her on how stunning she looked hence why you couldn't recognize her. She will be flattered and you will be forgiven.

"So you're saying I don't normally look stunning?"

Ridg3 · #81 03-08-2011, 02:17 PM

Yes. There's a fine line between stunning and beautiful, though.

Dixanadu · #82 03-08-2011, 02:41 PM

Say she's ugly as fuck and no one will have her. Then say you're desperate, and she'll accept your love.

STM · #83 03-09-2011, 07:56 AM

Stop referencing.

Bullet Magnet · #84 03-09-2011, 10:17 AM

If she's in music school, then she's artistically inclined. Draw her a picture.

Like this one.

Dynamithix · #85 03-09-2011, 10:26 AM

Like what one? It isn't showing up.

Bullet Magnet · #86 03-09-2011, 10:39 AM

It is for me. Try this.

MagogCartel · #87 03-09-2011, 01:42 PM

Ok, honest advice, despite what others on here have posted... and this might follow no particular order of importance... and I feel I am a decently attractive female.

Don't stare too long. At least smile. Sideways glances are nice. Make some eye contact, but don't stare creepy like. Even small talk is appreciated. Show interest through mild questions such as: are you enjoying your evening? where you from? etc. Introduce yourself with a phrase that is not: Hey, are you single? I think you're hot! Pickup lines are almost funny... Girls do like it when you offer to buy things, such as a drink. If you overhear a problem, offering help or advice is appreciated. Umm... Don't look at other girls, or stare at the ground or surrounding objects for a long period of time.

Keep in mind, this is advice for introduction. Confidence is sexy, shyness is respected but you have to work a lil harder. Cockiness only works on broads, who will not stick around. Hesitation can be cute, because girls can be easily flattered. Even breaking the ice with: I just saw you over there and had to say hi, you're very pretty. etc....

Hope that helps! I am honest. These are my experiences of what I like or dislike. Overall, most girls do not like cocky assholes who make them feel disposable. Just remember manners. Good luck!

Daxter King · #88 03-09-2011, 01:51 PM

So, MagogCartel, I heard you like it up the ass, lets say you and me go out back by the Denny's and make yours a two way street.

MagogCartel · #89 03-09-2011, 02:05 PM

I'm not fond of Denny's, I'm a lil classier than that. How bout Red Lobster?

Ridg3 · #90 03-09-2011, 02:08 PM

:

Say she's ugly as fuck and no one will have her. Then say you're desperate, and she'll accept your love.

Possibly the best advice you're going to get here.