The ultimate freakishly dark Sligstorm fanfiction.

[Vlam]

Varrokski fell off the Elum. Shayde was upset because Varrokski didn't wish him a happy birthday. He was definitely leaving.
-Come back here, Shayde!
-Hey chap!
Varrokski couldn't identify where the voice was coming from. He thought that STW was dead.
-HEY! I WORK FOR MOMMA! Every day I pour the blood sweat and tears of dozens of slav- EMPLOYEES! Just to make some profits to keep des place a-FLOAT!
Varrokski thought he was losing his mind. He decided to look around him. A potoo was staring at him:
-Hello! I'm FyreFennec the potoo. Do you want to roleplay with me?
-Sorry, I don't talk to strangers. By the way, we are two different species... I can't trust you.
-Mudokons evolved from birds, you know...
-Look, I don't want to roleplay. I have other fish to fry: I must follow Abe. Bye!
FyreFennec was furious. The bird attacked him. Varrokski was getting his ass kicked. Abe was getting out of sight...

***

germichlgboulg and ravkarorgeforg are two robots designed by Vykkers Labs. Punkcrash was shooting germichlgboulg, but the bullets were just bouncing off. ravkarorgeforg threw water (with fluoride) at Havok who collapsed, dying:
-Master, tell me...
Scrabaniac said to him:
-Don't worry, everything's gonna be alright!
Scrabaniac was holding his hand.
-Tell me... Will SoulStorm be a darker game?
-Of course it will!
Havok the Grubb died immediately, with a smile on his face.
Captain the Mudokon was yelling at us:
-The fault was more said to be mine than theirs because they pretend like nothing happened. Punkcrash also seems to be over other Oddworld fans. This city was really a cursed place without soul. You're all going to die!
I really don't want to die. I must get out of here. I saw Shayde. I decided to approach him. Am I only a regular slig? I decided to get on the Elum. Punkcrash, shocked, said to me:
-I've seen some dumb things in my life, but this takes the scrab cake! You're supposed to eat the elum, you know...
-See ya!
-What?! You are going to flee? Traitor! You will get executed without trial!
-Hey, who's the one in charge here? This isn't my war! I'm thirsty, I really need to drink a Soulstorm brew!
Albino fled, with Nepstock the slog at his heels.


End of chapter 7.

[Nepsotic]

I'm disappointed at Nepstock's lack of dialogue and character development 2/10

[FennecFyre]

I personally liked FyreFennec quite a lot. Best character so far.

[Varrok]

I dunno, I think I can relate to germichlgboulg the most

[Vlam]

I'm disappointed at Nepstock's lack of dialogue and character development 2/10

Well, he's a slog...

[Nepsotic]

Slogs can't have personality? Sexist.

[Vlam]

Nepstock as a Slog was a mistake. I may consider a reboot.

[kjjcarpenter]

Would you consider a bonus chapter?

[Vlam]

Varrokski's eyeballs were enucleated. He was screaming. FyreFennec flew away. Varrokski was now blind. He was arrested by a group of Sligs patroling in Necrum Desert. Varrokski is actually working in Necrum Mines with the blind and bling Mudokons.


***

I killed Nepstock with a single bullet. I was searching for Dr. SB in a town near one of the remaining FeeCo Depots. I was looking through someone's garbage. I was drinking SoulStorm Brew. I turned at the window and saw a Big Bro Slig with his Sleg. I walked away awkwardly. The Big Bro Slig poked his head outside and said something like:
-Hey, can I help you? What the hell are you doing?
-Well, hum... I'm searching for Dr. SB...
-You're in the wrong street. Check the Fan Corner!
-Okay, thanks!
-You're welcome, weirdo!


I've found Dr. SB's house. The door was opened. Inside, there was a picture of a Steef being intimate with Master Chief. "Anders 2016!" was written on the ceiling. Dr. SB, surprised, said to me:
-Hey, Albino, what happened? Here, take a seat. Do you want an Expresso or a SoBe?
-No thanks. What is this place, doc?
Dr. SB was smoking spooces.
-Well, as you can see, I'm also an artist! So, what brings you here?
-A coup d'etat was perpetrated by a Mudokon. STW is dead, I think. I decided to flee...
-You've embraced your true nature! I'm so proud!
-There was Scrabaniac...
-Scrabaniac the Oktigi? I knew him in my youth. Don't trust him: he's a con man. Look, you can hide here for a while. Don't worry, Nate the mayor is corrupted. He never goes to the Fan Corner. In this city, the marriage between species is allowed and...

A bird came through the window.
-FyreFennec, where have you been? Have you found it?
-Yep!
-Perfect, the statue will be completed!

A Mudokon with a monocle and a tophat appears. He said with a British accent:
-Hello, is it ready?
Dr. SB said to him:
-Yes it is, Mister O'nnell!
I saw something truly horrible: it was the statue of a goofy Abe. The eyes of the statue were made from Varrokski's eyeballs.
-Well, I don't really like it but hey, I'm a supporter of the arts... How much do you want?
-45 mollah.
-I beg your pardon?
-It's a limited edition!
-Fair enough! I just bit the bullet and bought one even though my bank account told me not to...
O'nnell seems sad. He left with the statue. Dr. SB said to me:
-Albino, we must return to the city!
-I don't want to!
-But it's the only place where you could find SoulStorm Brews!
Albino didn't knew that Dr.SB's fridge was full of brews.
-Well... Yeah, let's go!
At the same time, FAsescu the Mudovampire decides to delurk:
-You've killed my precious Nepstock! You will pay for this!


End of chapter 8.

[Varrok]

Poor Varrokski, I bet he didn't see that coming.

[Connell]

I knew I was going to feature in this after our latest conversation. Bravo, Vlam. This is a very compelling story.

[Vlam]

In Necrum Mines, Varrokski could hear Abe saying "This is bad! What do I do now?"
-What do you do? What about leading us out of here?
-Uh...okay. Follow me!
-Okay!
-But!...
At this point Varrokski the blind Mudokon falls to his death while Abe runs up to a cliff.
-Oops! I forgot he was blind...

***

-WOOOOOF!
-Nepstock, are you still alive? Where are you, boy?
Dr. SB said to me: "Quick, Albino, we must flee!"
FAsescu was looking for Nepstock. She turned at the window and saw a Sleg.
-Is that you, Nepstock? I'm coming for you!
The Big Bro Slig was reading the Newspaper to his Sleg: "Negative Externality neg·at·iv ex·tur·nal·it·é n An economic term describing negative external effect, often unforeseen or unintended, accompanying a process or activity.There are some who say that Oddworld itself was created by the gods in such a way as to avoid the species that evolved upon its multiple surfaces from ever mixing. The plains dwellers, those that inhabited the forested nooks and the desert crags were never to mingle with those of the warm, damp interior crust. Nolybab then, was a wretched, festering place where the evils from within the mantle could seep out and curl their gnarled claws around the regions known by the sun. If the beasts were imprisoned within the earth, Nolybab was the ladder that would make their escape possible..."
The Big Bro Slig poked his head outside and said something like:
-Hey, what the hell are you doing? Can't you read the sign? Mudokons aren't allowed on this property! Last warning!
FyreFennec was hiding in the bin:
-WOOOOOF!
FAsescu approached the window. The Blig Bro Slig used his Blitz Packer to kill the Mudovampire. FyreFennec came out of the garbage can. The Mudovampire grabbed the Potoo:
-You can't kill a Mudovampire, you stupid bird!
-No, wait! You're into Slogs, right? Don't kill me! I know a place called "Dating sim"!

***

We were, I and Dr. SB, near the wall. Punkcrash's mechanical pants were on the floor. The wall was partly destroyed. We saw a mysterious creature who was digging holes. The creature said to us:
-Oï, fellas! I've found an easter egg!
Dr. SB answered him:
-Which one, baby?
-A SoulStorm brew bottle that belonged to Abe! My name is The_Dude, by the way!
-The_Dude? That sounds familiar... Aren't you the murderer of "Kip"?
-Nah, it was just a big misunderstanding! You shouldn't trust the newspapers!
-Look, can you dig a tunnel to the palace? We must get there.
-What will I have in exchange?
-Let's see... What about the shell of the egg in which Abe was born?
-Perfect!

Dr. SB was texting the mayor: "the experience is working as intended!"


End of chapter 9.

[Varrok]

In Necrum Mines, Varrokski could hear Abe saying "This is bad! What do I do now?"
-What do you do? What about leading us out of here?
-Uh...okay. Follow me!
-Okay!
-But!...
At this point Varrokski the blind Mudokon falls to his death while Abe runs up to a cliff.
-Oops! I forgot he was blind...

That blue bastard!

[Gunnr]

*Chortle*

[Vlam]

The Mayor of the city is a Glukkon who was wearing a huge necklace as a symbol of his power. The Mayor stood and said:
-As you may have noticed, we got hit by "Unity" fanatics yesterday and today. I think we need more than one active moderator who has powers in the entire city. To that end, X the Vykker has now been promoted to the position of assistant mayor. Congrats to X!
O'nnell said:
-Congratulations!
The crowd applauded. A ghost groaned. He said loudly:
-Isn't the Vykker linked to Unity? He also kept pictures of the secret slig flying suit to himself!
The mayor said to him:
-What? Are you part of the SDM?
-"SDM"?
-The speedrunners defense movement!
Vexy the unspecified creature whinged:
-I think we have a bigger issue. The lack of activity and the lack of employment! My taxes are too high and yet Abe the terrorist is still out there!
Laup the Slig who is a journalist showed up and said:
-Mister the Mayor, how often do you fuck other Glukkons and how often do you beat the shit out of citizens? Also Mayor, you're corrupt.
The crowd looked worried. The Mayor said:
-Are you asking for an infraction, Laup?
The ghost said angrily:
-That's enough! I will be the new mayor! Let's make this city great again!
The mayor said:
-Is that a riot? Also, a new mayor won't help shit. The real owner vanished into thin air!
-Ok, kill him!
Suddenly, a gunshot was heard. The Mayor then collapsed. He said:
-Who the hell are you, ghost?
-I'm Varrokski! Abe the cunt and that stupid bird are next on the hit list!


***

There was a sign next to the big box that said: "DATING SIM".
FyreFennec said to FAsescu:
-Welcome to "dating Sim"! You'll find love! Check inside!
-Ok...
Fasescu entered inside then said:
-Hey, wait a minute, the room is empty!
FyreFennec then closed the door behind him. FAsescu was trapped.
-Dear Mudovampire, your head will sell well on the black market!
-You son of a Nep! Wait a minute, aren't you...
-That's right, I'm the legendary FührerFennec Palooka the Outlaw!


End of chapter 10.

[Varrok]

There was a sign next to the big box that said: "DATING SIM".
FyreFennec said to FAsescu:
-Welcome to "dating Sim"! You'll find love! Check inside!
-Ok...
Fasescu entered inside then said:
-Hey, wait a minute, the room is empty!

Thank odd that's only a fantasy, and not reality, right?

[FennecFyre]

Tenouttaten. And the dating sim isn't dead, just sleeping.