The Fallen Temple (NEW!) -

Al the Vykker · #31 02-02-2002, 12:48 PM

Chapter Four Not your normal Glukkon

The Mudokon Captain was dead, but the words were not. Octigi? What the odd was an Octigi? All Jerec knew was that he had to look around for clues. He went inside the fort and found that the Mud out post was planning a cargo raid on a Slig convoy a half a mile north of their position, but he noticed in the reports the Slig Convoy never made the trip. Supposedly they were ambushed two miles farther North in a place called the Forbidden Zone.

The last journal entry talked about an unstoppable onslaught not by sligs, but by something much more disturbing. Octigi.

" They were unstoppapble they appeared to have a Glukkon shaped head but tentacles. All My men our almost dead or hiding in the trees. We will not survive long enough to even know what happened to us." The captains log ended.

Jerec was frightened of this new foe. What was he to do if they came back his Father's Spear would not protect him, nor hurt these Octigi. There was a noice in the shadows.

" What was that?" Jerec said to himself.

He through the spear forward quickly and heard a creature yelp in pain, as it left a trail of fresh blood behind. Jerec noticed on the ground was a bloddy tentacle. The Octigi had been watching him. Jerec decided he would head North to this Forbidden Zone and discover what these creatures want. Jerec slowly krept through the shadows into the now after noon air he would sleep until night fall. He climbed the tree and got comfortable. It would be a long walk ahead of him but he was up to the challenge.

Stay tuned for Chapter Five.

paramiteabe · #32 02-08-2002, 11:42 AM

Thats awesome Al your story is sweet. Keep up the good work.

Al the Vykker · #33 02-08-2002, 09:22 PM

Chapter five will be done tommorrow.THank you!

paramiteabe · #34 02-09-2002, 02:54 AM

Hey Al I just got done writing chapter ten of my story and it's a really important chapter. It's the turning point of my story have a look see. Cant wait to read chapter five of your story. Mann I am having fun with this. I think I will be getting a web space soon so I can post art work here in the forums. I will be abel to show what My character looks like. But I don't know quite yet. I am really getting into this. I hope you create more good stories after you are finnish with this one.

MAY ODD HELP YOU!

Shrykullmaster · #35 02-09-2002, 10:39 AM

it is a very good story. i cant wait for the next part!

Al the Vykker · #36 02-13-2002, 06:58 PM

I have been waiting for this. Thanks for your gratiitude!

Chapter Five The Forbidden Zone

Narrator: Our Brave hero has survived up to this point. He will need to heed warning of a great danger ahead. As he approaches the Flesh Farm.

Jerec descened the tree and headed north through the forests of Paramonia. THis would be the most dangerous part because of how many creatures are out at night. He snuck through the shadows and saw a squid like creature heading in the same direction.

Jerec noticed this was the same creature he had hit with his slypth, earlier. THe creature met up with two others, and went all in the North direction. Jerec froze as they looked where he was but they could not see him. Jerec was invisible.

When they kept going he knew what had happened.

" Dad?"
" Yes Jerec contin..."

" But?"

His father's ghost was in the spear but had now dissapeared. Jerec continued.

Twighlight was upon Oddworld and Jerec was still walking as day broke.
Jeec looked on the ground and saw a broken sign that read:

" Rupture Farms"

Stay TUned for tonight CHapter 6 You will be suprised!

Shrykullmaster · #37 02-13-2002, 07:12 PM

cool story.... so his father is in his spear

Al the Vykker · #38 02-13-2002, 07:16 PM

Yes Father owned the spear and was murdered so the spear was inherited by Jerec. But the spear has special abilities. More will be revealed about his Father in one of my other stories.

Lampion · #39 02-13-2002, 10:37 PM

Hello, Al.
Your story if doing very good, so far. Your central character (Jerek) is well developed and his unexpected revealed relationship with his spear, which is connected to his parent's soul, promisses a lot for the next chapters.

Al the Vykker · #40 02-13-2002, 11:09 PM

Its ALmost here wait half an hour and check back.

Al the Vykker · #41 02-13-2002, 11:42 PM

Chapter 6 Rupture Farms

Jerec had made it to the place his tribe elders had spoken of .
The ground was very unstable. he entered a area of clearing as he climbed the cliff side. He looked on one of the ledges and found another sign reading:

StockYards, please feel free to pet animals.
Note: we will not be responsible for mutilation of your body.

Jerec climbed the last ledge and stood up seeing what appeared to be a train station. All these things he was remembering, from stories that had been told around the ccamp fires in Zarcyn. THe train was rusted and stuck to the tracks. Graffiti covered what was once a shiny new train. Jerec entered the stockyards and felt deju vu like he had been here before.

Images flahed through his mind of running and leapeing as trying to escape from this place. It reminded Jerec of his father, the Cheif never would talk about how he had died, almost if he was hiding something. Jerec had only slight visions of what his father was like. He was named a hero and a savior. But disappeared when Jerec was only three.

Seeing this made him continue until he looked upon the land on a massive facility spanning for miles and miles. it was a meat proccessing plant, was the biggest on the whole planet. Now eroded and rusted dark and damp what was waitimg in this massive complex, in the dark hallways, of the slaughter house?
Well Jerec was about to find out.

He opened one of the pipes looked once more at the sky dark and polluted wondoring how big this place really was. The last thing he viewed was a paper reading: wanted Abe. Then he decended into the facility.

Tommorrow Chapter seven will be posted. Stay tuned.

paramiteabe · #42 02-14-2002, 01:50 PM

That is cool Al this is getting intresting. I can't wait to see six. Keep up the good work!

I like how you describe Rupture Farms it's very descriptive.

Al the Vykker · #43 02-14-2002, 02:15 PM

Thanks! check back later tonight for Ch. 7.

•[cyrus]• · #44 02-14-2002, 08:31 PM

I also agree!

This is getting intersting! You describe the facilities and feelings of the characters so well!

Mudokon101...

Al the Vykker · #45 02-15-2002, 01:45 AM

I will post chapter seven tommorrow for sure. I just got back from a Jazz concert. Thanks Mud 101!

Shrykullmaster · #46 02-15-2002, 07:39 PM

this is realy startin to get exciting

•[cyrus]• · #47 02-16-2002, 05:54 PM

You said it!

I read this thing every time there is a new chapter....!!!!

Daj'a Vu: Great imagination Al the Vykker (or should I saw Vykker Facilitator) hehe

~Mudokon101...

Joe the Intern · #48 02-18-2002, 02:24 AM

Nice fic Al! Keep writin, ya little bugger.

Rich · #49 02-21-2002, 01:17 PM

I said I would read it, so I did and it was great! Keep up the good work...

mitsur · #50 02-22-2002, 12:16 AM

Heres another idea: Why dosen't one of the next places be called Zanerkand

:

StockYards, please feel free to pet animals.

The storys REALLY good though

Shrykullmaster · #51 02-23-2002, 10:43 PM

hey weres the next part?

Al the Vykker · #52 02-24-2002, 12:20 AM

It is on the way, I had a jazz band competition, and a solo competition today so stay around sunday the chapter will be finished thanks!

Al the Vykker · #53 02-24-2002, 10:29 PM

Chapter 7 Descent

Jerec made his way through the pipes in the dark. The pipes were musty smelling, not to mention the insides were eroded. He fell through a gap in one of the pipes and landed on a walkway.
he looked on the ground and a led sign was sparking, and was cracked all over. Jerec looked to the right of him and noticed hundereds, or thousands of unshipped meat barrels, all sstacked on top of eachother.

Jerec pondored on how many native animals were slaughtered
in order to make these snacks, and food products. He continued walking and found a skeleton of a mudokon with dried blood around it. It appeared that the mud was beaten to death. But Jerec also noticed something else, a body of a slig was mutilated in the corridor to the right.

Jerec then realized this must have been the Octigi, who did this. Jerec had another vision.

"Son, you must listen carefully I'm not really dead.. y.. mus... stop M...... before his plan succeeds......" I know this beacause your own chief did not want ... you to know who I really am...... Seek the light of truth and you will succeed."

Jerec wondored what this meant. Jerec entered the mess hall and saw the Octigi inside gathering bodies of Mudokons sligs and slogs. But what Jerec wondored was what was this for?

Rich · #54 02-25-2002, 02:29 PM

Once again, Nicely done!

angry slig · #55 02-25-2002, 07:23 PM

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am lovin this story. Please write the next chapter as soon as possible. I cant wait any longer and i just read the last chapter.

paramiteabe · #56 02-26-2002, 01:19 PM

I like how you describe the mutilated sligs and dead Mudokins. I can just imagine the terrible stench of rotting meat and dead Mudokins and sligs. Very disturbing and cool.

Shrykullmaster · #57 02-26-2002, 04:16 PM

wow, spooky

Al the Vykker · #58 02-26-2002, 07:02 PM

Chapter 8 RUNN

Jerec Watched as the Octigi piled the dead bodies one by one, they were being devoured. Jerec looked away in disgust. As he was backing up he banged his arm on the wall and the Octigi turned their heads.

" GYUOQDOOASPAPSFJJFA!"
" ITKLDSFSDFJFIEERWter!"

Jerec had one thought on his mind:

RUN!

Jerec sprinted in the other direction as a flood of Octigi were chasing him down the empty corridor. For once in his whole life he knew what real terror was. He leaped over a railing and was falling. he grabbed a ledge two floors lower, while th Octigi were above him for now. Jerec pulled himself up slowly.

" Oh my Odd!"

Jerec witnessed something truly horrifying. A mudokon was standing in front of him but was not normal. It was a zombie that leaped at him. Jerec ducked and the creature jumped over him. Luckily this new creature had no real brains. Another followed by the flood of Octigi caught up with him as he took his slypth from the case and stabbed one of the creatures through the chest.

He continued fending them off until he reached a service elevator.
His only chance left! He grabbed on and pulled the lever and was on his way up. One of the zombie muds grabbed on but jereckicked his head and he fell down while his head was smashed into pieces.

Jerec looked upwards not entirely knowing what was up there, he could only hope what it was......

mitsur · #59 02-26-2002, 10:10 PM

Whoa this is good!!!! could I help out?

Al the Vykker · #60 02-26-2002, 11:13 PM

Give me some ideas, I'll see if I can include them.

TO all: this weekend the story will be finished, and I will be starting my next fanfic.