Tales of a Mudos mercenary

[MA]

excuse my language but that warden is a real bastard.

very realistic scene with the warden, i liked it.

[mr.odd]

Chapter 10 part B
Then next morning Khain crawled out of his cell and made his way to the mess hall. After he eating, he went outside to the courtyard to find the outlaw who talked with him yesterday. About two hours of searching past, Khain wondered if the warden pulled them into solitary confinement as well as Vance.

A moment later someone ran up behind Khain and grabbed hold of him, then haled him off to who knows where. Khains attacker had brought him to the security office. The attacker dropped him inside. Khain turned to see who had brought here. It was a Wovlark inmate, along with the Outlaw who followed him. Two other inmates where in the room as well, an intern, and an outlaw minion.
“Sorry about what happened to ya pal.” said the outlaw. They locked the door so no one would see that the security office was filled with prisoners intending to break out.
“why have you brought me here? I’m not the one who needs to escape.”
The Wovlark stepped forward. “yea, we know. But your does, so we are helping you.”
“why?” Replied Khain.
“well, we’re short one man, and so far you seem you need all the help you can get.”
Then the outlaw Khain met yesterday spoke. “Look, I know the warden might be suspicious about you but we know how to get ya friend out without any body knowing you helped us.”
“I’m listening.”
“ya know that guard that keeps messing with ya?”
“no. which guard.”
“That Teron fella. He’s the one that got the bro to attack ya.” At that moment Khain was beginning to realize how much trouble Teron was.
“Go on.” Khain said with bit of anger in his voice. “well, if ya attack him and make a big scene, that will be enough of a distraction to let us get ya friend out and escape. don’t worry about the details. Just be prepared for the lights to go out tonight.”
Khain was a bit skeptical about the whole thing, but he knew he had to trust them.
“so when do we make our move.”
“tonight, around dinner.” replied the minion.
Khain left the room making sure no one seen him, then making his way back to his cell.
Khain then thought it was time to tell the warden his answer.
After making his way to the wardens office, Khain saw the wardens Clakker assistant was ravaging through his desk. “um… I’m looking for the warden.” the Clakker jumped and looked at Khain. “oh, I didn’t see you their. Ill go get him.” the Clakker left the room with out another word. Ten minutes later the warden arrived. “Ya wanted to see me, I hope you have your answer.”
“I do.” Khain replied
“well then lets hear it.”
Khain hesitated a moment. “my only choice is that I join Mr.Bruss.
“Good, very good. I’ll call Mr.Bruss tonight and tell him your decision”
Khain left the office and crawled back to his cell, he waited for dinner before heading back to the court yard. But before Khain left his cell, Teron already seemed to be heading right to him. “you can’t honestly leave with out getting a goodbye from me” said Teron in a cocky attitude. “well if it isn’t the worm who sold me out and released the behemoth on me.” replied Khain in the same tone.
“now you cant honestly believe it was me?”
“I know it was you, how I know is not important.”
“your right, because ill make sure you leave in a body bag.” Teron pulled out a baton and then lunged at Khain. Khain leaped out of the way and pulled the baton right out of his hands and knocked Teron right on the head. Teron fell to the ground, four other gurads walked over to the fight, but did not help Teron. Instead they cheered for the fight to continue, soon attracting more guards and inmates. They all watched as Khain and Teron fought each other. Khain jabbed the baton into Terons chest, causing him to collapse once more. Teron got back up, he was furious that he was being knocked down by a Slig who should be useless with out pants. He then pulled out his pistol and shot at Khain. Quickly Khain dodged the bullet and rolled past Teron, then leaping on his back and putting Teron in a head lock.
Suddenly the lights went out. Shouts of disappointment came from the crowd. As Teron collapsed from the lose of breath, Khain was then knocked out after being struck to the head by a baton.

[MA]

Teron's a dirty fighter, i cant believe he tried to shoot Khain in a fist fight.

i reckon the wardon's going to put two and two together about the escape and Khain's distraction.

[mr.odd]

Chapter 11: a twist
As Khain awoke, a raging pain on the back of head began. Khain found himself back in his cell. Trying to remember what happened, two Wovlark guards opened the cell door. They walked up to Khain and said; “boy you blew it, take a wild guess where your going.” Before Khain could respond, they cuffed him. Already Khain knew that the warden found out.

While they dragged him down the dark corridor, Khain asked: “so we stopping at the wardens office, or we just heading to the train station?” the guards replied: “the second one” Khain then realized somehow he had to escape now. Unfortunately he was cuffed, had no weapons, no pants, and was surrounded by enemies. Checking his surroundings, he saw a big bro Slig crawling down the hall. “YOU!” the bro shouted. Khain soon realized it was the same bro he fought. Immediately the bro charged and knocked both guards away from Khain. Soon two more guards came to take down the bro slig. Khain however took the keys from the unconscious guards, then discarding the cuffs. But it was not long before the Bro defeated the Wovlarks. Khain quickly grabbed a pistol and ran from the bro, he figured he might as well cause some chaos.

Khain could escape the bro forever however. He loaded the pistol and unloaded a few bullets at the bro, hitting him in the left arm. The bro stopped a moment, but kept moving.
At the end of the hall, four guards carrying SWAT shields formed up preparing to kill both Khain, and the bro. Before they could lock shields Khain slid right past them. The bro however, was not so lucky. The guards immediately opened fire, but strangely that did not stop him from taking down the gauds with one punch. While the bro and the guards fought, Khain kept moving, determined to reach the wardens office. But it also seemed the warden was prepared for Khains escape. Armored Wovlarks were standing a large hallway blocking the wardens office. They opened fire upon Khain, causing Khain to take cover behind a metal pillar. ‘What luck’ Khain thought as he took cover. And more luck came his way as two smoke grenades rolled on the floor and went off, giving Khain the opportunity to quickly move, while the enemy fired blindly. Before the smoke cleared, Khan quickly leaped past the blockade. Surprisingly they did not notice him, so Khain silently crawled away before they notice.

When Khain reached the Wardens office, he opened the door and found that the Warden and Mr.Bruss were waiting for him. “well Khain, I’m glad you could make. I was afraid that are little test was to tough for you, well sir you proved me wrong.” said Mr.Bruss. Khain was both shocked and confused. “WAIT, THIS WAS ALL A TEST!”
The warden then stood up and said “well I doubted your abilities, so Mr.Bruss allowed me to set up this little blockade.”
“I’m still confused.” Replied Khain
“Well you see Khain, the Warden is a Valuable member of our organization, he is one of the recruiters so to say. He contacts me when someone might be a valuable member of our little group.” Khain was silent, allowing Mr. Bruss to continue.
“Anyway, after the things you accomplished here, I’m sure your worth the money to bail out. I’m also glad you decided to willingly join us, so welcome to the Team.”

[AlexFili]

I'll be sure to read the sections with Vance very carefully.

[MA]

good fight scene. what a stroke of luck with the Big Bro slig.

i wasnt expecting it to be a test.

[mr.odd]

Chapter 12: Meeting the team
Mr. Bruss looked at the warden. The warden pressed a button on his desk, the assistant then walked into the room carrying Slig pants. Khain slipped them on, then waited for Mr. Bruss to lead the way. As they walked out of the office, the warden whispered; “good luck, ya gonna need it.”

Mr. Bruss and Khain walked to the train station, none of them spoke the whole way. The same thing happened on the train ride, Mr. Bruss kept pulling papers out of his briefcase, filling out loads of paper work while Khain sat and said nothing. Three hours past before they reached the Feeco depot, they switched to a train heading to Velon HQ. it was a private train owned by Mr. Bruss, which was filled with unknown supplies. When Khain asked what was in the crates, Mr. Bruss did not respond.

Three more hours passed and still no conversation. But Mr. Bruss finally asked; “so Khain, what made you want to break out your friend?”
“I just thought it would be better if he did not have to work in some factory.”
“so freedom is it? Well I respect your decision, I also took the liberty of paying the warden to look the other way. But unfortunately he declined my offer.” Once more there was silence, as that was the only conversation on the way their.

When the train finally came to a stop, Khain found himself in an a large industrial complex that was the size of two Slig barracks’. Khain continued to follow Mr. Bruss, Khain saw plenty of other Chroniclers that looked very similar to Mr. Bruss, along with other creatures their as well.
Mr. Bruss stopped at a large elevator that required a special card to pass. Mr. Bruss pulled out a gold card and slipped into the security lock, then pressing several buttons on the key pad. The both of them walked into the elevator. when it descended, the force caught Khain off guard and made him fall flat on his back. After the elevator stopped somewhere going up, Mr. Bruss walked out while Khain tried to stand back up. After he got back up, he soon caught back up with Mr.Bruss.

They then came to large Steel door, which Mr. Bruss opened with his gold card. Inside the room was small group of 5. “attention all, this is Khain your newest member.” groans then came out of the group. Except for one, an Outlaw who walked up and said; “so this the ‘legendary’ Khain, don’t look like much. You’ll probably last one mission before having to send you back to Skillya in a body bag.”
“now lets not be to hasty, I think you’ll find he is very resourceful. And costs lots of Moolah so I except him to last.” Replied Mr. Bruss
“Well I’ll be the judge of that.”
Mr. Bruss left with the doors closing behind him, while Khain stayed to meet his new Teammates. The Outlaw was the leader, they just called him “Boss”. The Heavy weapons specialist of the group was a big bro Slig nicknamed “Tank”, who surprisingly did not get his muscle from steroids. An outlaw minion named “Frag”, who was the teams demo man. A Wovlark named “Grax”, was the teams stealth expert. And the last member was an Intern called Doc. He was the teams Medic and Technician who had the good fortune to not have his mouth stitched shut by the Vykkers. Each member had a special job, while Khain was to discover his own abilities in time.

[MA]

the team are very interesting. Mr. Bruss is one mysterious character.

[AlexFili]

Mr.Bruss is a lot like that G-Man from the Half-Life series. Did you know that there was a character called Tank in an old Oddworld Fanfic? It was their nickname. It was the character Hak in the Jas story by Teal.

I like the story by the way, the escape plan was quite interesting. I think your fight sequences are well written and contain just the right amount of detail.

[mr.odd]

never knew that, also i did not base Mr. Bruss off G-man surprisingly. i can see how they are similar though.

[mr.odd]

Chapter 13: The new guy
Khain spent two weeks at the HQ. during those two weeks, Khain was treated like dead weight. The team said they didn’t need any new members, all except for the boss. The Boss new he needed all the help he could get, even if it was a new recruit.

Khain also earned his own nick name, “Rookie” was his new tile. Khain knew he would have to put up with crap like this for a while, he just had to prove himself to earn himself some respect.
Till then he would have to live with all the “oh look, it’s the Rookie.” comments. But there was one way to earn a little respect. The HQ had a training course that held time and score records, which meant if Khain could earn one of the top scores, he could possibly lose the nickname.

When the day came to prove himself on the course, Khain was able to witness another team training. Turns out they were the top team in time, but Khains team was top in score.

Top Score Top time
Razor = 69,980 Fral = 5: 36
Frag= 40,900 Tex = 5: 28
Doc = 40,650 Mug = :6 10
Grax = 38,720 Razor = 6: 10
Tank = 28,999 Sig = 6: 49

Khain wondered who Razor was. He walked over to Frag and asked; “who’s this Razor guy?” Frag looked at him for a moment. “why that’s Boss, he’s the only one us who made it to the top times. don’t call him Razor though.”
“What’s wrong with calling him Razor?” Frag was shocked beyond words.
“well one he doesn’t like it because he was Thee Razor. Haven’t you ever heard of him.” Khain shrugged, Frags mouth dropped.
“Razor was one of the most ruthless Outlaws ever. No body was able to bring him in.”
“So what Happened?”
“well, at one point he committed a crime he couldn’t live with. don’t know what it was and don’t why, but he turned himself in for it.”
“so how did he end up here?”
“Mr. Bruss bailed him out.”
Khain walked away shocked at the fact that the boss was one of the worst criminals out their.
Khain waited at the start for his run on the practice course. Tank was before Khain, after him was the Boss. During Tanks run, Khain found out why he was only 5th. Turns out Tank would shoot every target, even if they were friendly. Each friendly shot takes off points from your total score. The Boss then said; “don’t worry, he only does this on the course.” Khain found that hard to believe.

Before Khain ran through, the Boss said; “just concentrate on what your hitting and don’t worry about time or score. “This is your first run and its better to show that you know who you enemies are. by the way, Mudokons, Outlaws, and wildlife are enemies. Clakkerz and guys with are insignia are Friendly.” when the buzzer signaling go rang, Khain charged in with an adrenalin rush. The first targets were an Mudokon, and a Clakker. Khain shot the Mud.
He then ran and came to a split path way, they both led to the same room. Khain randomly picked one and fell through a trap door. He had to crawl through a small tunnel to get out, which led him back in fort of the path way. After choosing the second time, four targets popped up, All Clakkerz. Khain ignored them and ran past them to a narrow corridor with pillars. At the end of the corridor was a turret waiting for him. Khain took cover behind the pillar and began to shoot point blank. Eventually he hit it, then continued forward. Khain then entered a large round room. When he entered the middle, targets then popped up and surrounded him. The buzzer rang and someone yelled “Failed!” on the intercom. Khain exited through a doorway that opened up.
He walked back to the front and yelled out “WHAT THE HELL THAT!”
“well when your surrounded like that, it’s not likely you survive.”

[MA]

what Tank did was unsettling. and Razor sounds very interesting...

[mr.odd]

Chapter 14: it’s not over
Please note that this chapter is about Teron only
-------------------------------------------------------
The Warden could not stop yelling: “you spineless, yellowbellied, cocky, pathetic excuse for a Slig!” several insults later: “so tell me, what was going through that thick skull of yours? Did you think I would let you beat prisoners that I SPECIFICLY told you not too? You almost cost me a pay day!” Teron could not even get one word out, not before the Warden barked out more insults. “listen up Slig! If you even think about pulling another stunt like that again, ill make sure you face the firing squads! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!”
The Slig ran out of that office, scared to death of what the warden would do if he didn’t.

Outside The office, was the Assistant calmly sitting and staring at him. “what are you looking at?”
Teron said obnoxiously. “so that Khain fella got ya in trouble did he?” Replied the Clakker.
“Yea, what of it?”
“well, I could help you get your revenge on him.”
“how’s that, he’s gone!” replied Teron in an ignorant voice.
“now no need to get snappy. Look, if you can get the Wardens keys and pass card, ill help you
out”
“how am I suppose to do that?”
“I’d check his desk, or maybe his person. Also maybe wait till he’s asleep or out of the office.”
“all right, ill come back later then.”

Teron left and headed to the guards lounge. When he got their, the guards laughed as soon as he entered the room. “well look who it is, it’s the Silg who got beaten up by an unarmed prisoner.” then someone yelled out: “how was the talk with the Warden?” they all mocked him. Teron tried to defend himself. “he cheated. I was caught off guard. The lights went out.”
“don’t ya have night vision?” replied one of the Wovlarks.
Another replied: “your right, pulling a gun on some one is cheating, wait that was you”
Teron stormed out of the lounge yelling “I’ll show you all, I will have my revenge.”
“sure, when Mudokons are free and Glukkons start caring about the enviroment.”
Teron slammed the door behind him with out saying another word.
He knew what he had to do, he had to find Khain and kill him.

[MA]

this is getting dark. good chapter.

i laughed out loud when i read what the sligs mocking him said.

[mr.odd]

Well I just got back from my trip. Here’s what's going on, I’m going to post a few more chapters and that will end part one. Then I’m going to take a break from this fanfic and start a new one, not sure what it will be about yet...

Also, what is every ones top five favorite characters?

[AlexFili]

Well, I like Khain and Vance so far. Mr.Bruss is quite interesting as well. To be honest I'm a bit biased because anyone who is a Slig automatically becomes my favorite character! Anyway, excellent story. One of the best reads here.

[glukkonlulu]

Sounds awesome so far

the question is... how do you make stories

[MA]

Khain is the best, then it would have to be the warden, and then Teron for the bad factor.

oh, and Mr. Bruss.

[AlexFili]

"the question is... how do you make stories"

It's easy.

1) Think of a plot
2) Draw up ideas for character prototypes
3) Write a basic story
4) Flesh it out
5) Write a good ending (open-ended for sequels)

That's it really.

[mr.odd]

glukkonlulu please don't Spam my thread. if you want to comment on the story thats fine.

Chapter 15: Briefing
The Alarm sounded, everyone then ran into all different directions. Khain followed the Boss with the rest of his team. Eventually they arrived back at their living quarters, every one suited up in armor. The Boss pointed to a door. “Khain, in there is some power armor, suit up!” Khain did as told and also grabbed one of the spare rifles.

After every one was suited up, they headed to the air pad. The air pad was under ground in the HQ, on it was a strange air vehicle. “what is it?” Khain asked. “Helicopter, NOW MOVE!” one of his team mates shouted. Once again Khain did as told and got into the strange machine. When he did the door closed, and the blades on the Machine started to spin and soon the air pad started to rise. When the pad brought them outside, the Vehicle lifted into the air.

Khain notice only Grax, Doc, and the Boss were only riding. “where’s Tank and Frag?”
The Boss looked at him and said; “they’re on another chopper, now listen up. We got a contract to take out a high ranking military officer of the Magog, so our squad is going in after him.” Khain took a moment to slide his helmet off, then removing his visor form underneath. The power armor he wore was different from the other armor he wore. This one did not allow him to wear the visor, along side it being heaver and covering all cracks that normal armor did not cover. But overall it looked mostly the same.

The Boss then continued “now Grax will cover us.” “as usual.” replied Grax. “ Me and Doc will meet up with Frag and Tank.”

“what about me?”

“we have word that your profile has not been erased from the main frame, so your going to open a few doors for us.”

“wait, where did you say were going again?”

There was a long Pause. “Barracks 104.”

[mr.odd]

Chapter 16: Mission one

When they approached the outskirts of the barracks, Grax grabbed his sniper rifle and jumped out. Immediately his camouflage helped him blend into the night. Khain also saw was raining, along with the occasional lightning and thunder in the sky.

The second LZ, the Boss handed Khain a radio. “only contact us if necessary, other than that I’ll brief you as you go along.” the door opened and a rope was dropped to the ground. Khain grabbed the rope and slid down to the dark military complex. It was raining hard enough so that the Guard towers could not see any of the infiltrators landing, which gave the mercs a stealth advantage.

Khain waited for the Boss to give him his orders. “Alright, I need you to cut the power to the watch towers spot lights.” Khain then began moving, he was moving a bit slow due to the heavy power armor. After he arrived inside the stock yards, He searched for some kind of power box connecting to the towers. While he was searching he saw a Slog patrol heading his way. Reaching for his rifle, the two Sligs waved to him and said. “ Nice armor.” Khain then let go of his rifle and continued forward.

Finally he reached his objective, the power box was located somewhere on the outer wall of the stockyard. Khain took his rifle and shot the lock off, then looking around to see if anyone noticed him. He then pulled out all wires one by one till the spot lights turned off.
After that, not only was the spot lights off, but the lights and the electric fences as well. Slogs began breaking loose and attacking nearby Sligs, while Khain slipped inside.

After making sure he was alone, Khain signaled his squad mates of his accomplishment.
“Good, now head up to the security office and unlock all doors. After that I want you deactivate the security defenses.”
“Roger that.” Khain replied. While trying to remember where it was Khain began moving so not to get noticed by the patrols. Luckily the other Sligs did not find it odd that he was wearing special power armor. Which explained why the Boss sent him in while the others waited.

Mean while, Grax began sniping the Guards trying to fix the power box. He then noticed one of the guards on the towers noticed him. As a reaction, the Slig tried to shoot back.
Grax took cover behind one of the trees. Quickly he turned and shoot the attacker in the head, then he walked to a new hiding spot.

Grax then scaned the stock yard to see if any one else was knew of his presence. Thankfully they were all distracted with the slog problem. “Grax here, stockyard clear.”
“Good, now get rid of the patrols on the walls.”

“No problem.”

[mr.odd]

Chapter 17: Trap set.

Khain had just arrived at the security office, he noticed it was guarded by a Bro Slig this time. Khain decided to try something different other than shooting him. “hey you.” the Bro looked at him. “the General wants to see ya.” And without a word the Bro walked away. ‘too simple’ Khain thought.

Inside the office was a sleeping Slig, Khain just shot him. After hiding the body, he got to work on the terminals. He deactivated the turrets, suppressors, and unlocked all doors. When that was done, Khain could see his team on the monitors. They were still outside the barracks, preparing for the battle they were about to enter it seamed. “Khain”. the Boss called.
“yea.”

“I need you to get your self into the Generals office. After that, I need you to hide until we scare him up there. Once you take him out, meet us outside the barracks in the stock yards.”

“what if he comes back with Bro gaurds.”

“Grax will take them out when they reach you. But if he misses, you’ll have to do it on your own.”

Khain then made his way up to the Generals office. The place was so familiar now, he remembered the night he tried to escape. He even remembered how to get pass the security locks. When he was only a few floors away, Khain stopped by the armory he blew up last time. Thankfully, they rebuilt and restocked. Khain grabbed a few grenades and some C4.

When Khain reached the office, it was surprisingly unguarded. He took the time to set up the C4, two by the door, two on the wall. Then Khain heard his radio go off like mad.

“Khain! The General his heading your way, so yes he is guarded! Also change of plans, head back to were we dropped you off, or find another place the chopper can land!” the radio then cut off. Then Grax was on. “Sorry Khain I only took out one of the guards, you’ll have to take care of the last one.” Khain hid behind the desk. He could hear the gun fire. Then the doors opened and General Vanguard walked through.

[mr.odd]

Chapter 18: The end?
Khain panicked and set off the bombs. When he looked to see if he destroyed his target, sadly he didn’t even get the bros. Vanguard was shocked at the situation. “who the hell are you!? And why are you here.” Before Khain could speak, the big bro Sligs did not want to listen, so they shot. Khain took cover behind the desk. “Grax! Do you think you can shoot the bros now?” there was no response. Suddenly the firing stopped. Khain looked up and found that Grax got himself two head shots. “Vanguard is all yours.” Grax replied.

Vanguard coward in a corner pleading for Khain to spare him. “Who are you? What do you want?”
“Why General, you remember me don’t you?”

“No I don’t. Who are you?”

“I’ll give you a hint. Who did you force to murder and innocent mudokon then sent him off prison?”

Suddenly Vanguards fear turned to anger.
“You did this? How are you still alive? Who sent you here?”

Khain loaded his gun. “I’m with the Velon mercs now.”

Vangaurd was suddenly calm.
“So Mr. Bruss sends his best to finish me off? Guess he knows about my little betrayal.”

“What are you talking about? And how do you know Mr. Bruss.”

“So he didn’t tell you? Well then I guess you don’t need to know.”

“Tell me now or I’ll put bullet in your brain.”

“Isn’t that why you came here in the first place.”
Khain was confused. He wanted to know how Vanguard fitted in to all this.
But he guessed it didn’t matter.

“Your right.” Khain then pulled the trigger and there fell General Vanguard.

Khain saw the helicopter appear in front of the huge hole in the wall. Grax and Doc were standing in the door way offering give Khain a ride out of there. When they left the area, Barracks 104 suddenly exploded.

This wraps up part 1. I will post the epilogue some time tomorrow. I might also post the first chapter of my next Fanfic.

[mr.odd]

Epilogue
______________

And so ended my first mission. I began as nothing more but a grunt in a barracks that was just pure evil. Then sentence to prison for doing what I thought was right. Met a chronicler who gave me a chance to earn my freedom, along with a friends. That same chronicler gave me an opportunity to take my revenge, so I took it. Even though I ended the life of an evil gluk, I still felt a bit of gult in my gut. I also wondered how Vanguard and Mr.Bruss fitted in to all this.
But I guess it didn’t matter, the mission was a success, we had no casualties and we got our target. But I still wanted to know what was Mr.Bruss was trying to cover up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------How was the ending and the overall story? Any suggestions for improving the story line?

[MA]

VERY nice storyline going there, it makes me want to follow any sequels. also sorry about not posting, it slipped my mind.

very well done mate. +rep.

Mr. Bruss is one dark horse.

[AlexFili]

I enjoyed this story. One of the most exciting fanfics here!
Edit: Loved the final chapter. Great action and great dialogue.
One question though... will there be a sequel?.