Slaga's Story -

sliguy101 · #31 03-29-2005, 07:02 AM

Chapter 11: Prision

After the incident, Slaga was to be put in prision for one year. It was a dreadful year for him. First, before he went to prision, he had a stamp on that metal thing attached to his head. On it had said, 'Insane.' Slaga had felt guilty for what he had done. 'I can't believe it,' thought Slaga, 'how could this have happened?'
His prision was in the shape of a circle. It was tiny. It didn't even have stools. He would just sit on the metal floor waiting for something good to happen. Nothing did though.
His jailmaster's name was Nelmotar. He had been in this job for five years or so. As ushual, he was a slig. Ocasionally, he taunted Slaga and played tricks on him. He even had Slaga whipped a few times. He didn't let Slaga starve, but he didn't give him fancy meals. He gave him scraps for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 'Nelmotar can burn for all I care.' Thought Slaga.
Slaga may have seemed evil right now, but he was still his peace-loving self when he was around mudokkons and nature. But when around sligs, big bad taunting sligs, he would just lose it. It was like a curse he had. He was still happy about the way he was born. When Nelmotar was checking on the other prisioners, Slaga had said something to himself. "Why can't other sligs like me for who I am? They treat me so badly. Someday, I will do what a slig would never do. Lead all the mudokkons here to freedom."

Fuzzleman54321 · #32 03-29-2005, 07:21 AM

Great, Great, GREAT!

Pretty please continue! *Does a begging face*

odd chick · #33 03-29-2005, 10:45 PM

Yes, that chapter was excellent-you just have to feel for Slaga! Keep them coming!

sliguy101 · #34 03-30-2005, 06:17 AM

Chapter 12: The Brewer

Slaga's year in prision was spent. 'About time,' thought Slaga. Even though he was free, he didn't get the 'insane' stamp removed yet. He had hated the stamp. It was embarassing and just plain wrong. Mudokkons can't see him like this. They just can't.
Gertian didn't want Slaga to be seen yet, so he hired him to work in the brewer, a one-person pivate work room. It was scary in their. So much machinery. It looked sharp. In the center of the room was a giant barrel. "That has our brew in it." Said Gertian. Gertian and Slaga looked up at the big barrel. "This is one of our most important machines." Pointed out Gertian. "Then how come anybody uses it?" Asked Slaga. "They do." Replied Gertian. He had Slaga work in this room for yet another year.
They way the brewing machine worked is that there was a control room with a large glass window so that Slaga could see what was happening. The control pad had lots and lots of buttons, but Slaga had memorized them all. This one button will have the barrel loaded up with water. This other one will bring down a big bag of the secret Gertian's Brew mix, and then pour it down in their. There are also other buttons that do other things, but I could go on forever if I tell all of them.
There were also things Slaga couldn't do. He couldn't be around other sligs. They might tease him for what he had done. He also couldn't be around mudokkons. He might go crazy again and shoot them all. Gertian didn't want to lose his employees. The last one was that he was only aloud un the brewing room, and not anywhere else in the factory. This made Slaga wanna free the mudokkons right now. But yet he had realized the time was still not right. "The time will come soon." Said Slaga to himself, "I must wait."

sliguy101 · #35 03-30-2005, 02:46 PM

I need some comments here.
I don't want thids thread to die.

Fuzzleman54321 · #36 03-31-2005, 08:02 AM

Great! I really like this story! Please continue! PLEASE!

sliguy101 · #37 03-31-2005, 02:10 PM

Part 3: Age 13-Dissapearence

Chapter 13: Making plans

Slaga was back in his normal workspace. He was happy to be out of the brewing room. It was scary in their sometimes. He didn't know why. Mabye it was because most people died there and dead spirits float around the room. Slaga was not much in worry about that anymore, though. What mattered was that everything was back to normal for him.
He had got that 'insane' stamp removed from his metal head. He could finally go back to the main working area of the factory, walking around and searching for trouble. Yet some things have changed. They kept a close eye on Slaga. Gertian said that he was a 'special' employee. He could crack up at any time. Slaga had also noticed the mudokkons working furiously and not slacking off. They had feared Slaga, and that's what made it hard for Slaga to lead them to freedom.
Something had changed about Slaga. When he would walk around, he had made preperations for the mudokkon's escape. After all, he did have to be prepared for the right time. He made up his mind. "It will be like a puzzle," Slaga said to himself, "I must bring it together by connencting the pieces. The pieces are the workrooms of the mudokkons. The puzzle is my mudokkon freeing heist. I'll free the mudokkons in one workroom tonight, another tommorrow night, and so on." He decided to go for area 67 tonight. It would be Slaga first of 10 nightstrikes.

Fuzzleman54321 · #38 03-31-2005, 02:14 PM

Cool! Please write another chapter!

odd chick · #39 03-31-2005, 11:57 PM

The concept of your story is really interesting, Sliguy! I've never read a story where the hero goes one room at a time! Keep up the good work! I'm sorry I didn't comment sooner!

sliguy101 · #40 04-01-2005, 06:26 AM

I'll be submitting 2 chapters! Yes 2 chapters today! TGIF!

Chapter 14: The first nightstrike

It was late at night. The sligs and Gertian sleeping, mudokkons still working. Slaga had gotten out of bed and snuck to his dressing room. He had found a brown cloak that would cover him. This was important to him for many reasons, but the most important one would have to be to blend in with the mudokkons. If he were around mudokkons, they would probably run away.
The cloak covered all his body parts from his head to his feet. There was a dark hole inside for his head, yet his red eye was still glowing. He silently moved to his first nightstrike area. The mudokkons stopped working and looked at the figure. "Fellow mudokkons," Slaga said hiding his real voice, "I am a freedom bringer. I have no name. You may just call me Savior." "Are you goanna bust us out." Whispered a mudokkon. "If you promise to follow my instructions, then yes." Said Slaga. "Okay." Replied another mudokkon. "Follow me." Ordered Slaga. They did as he said. They were in a 10-person group, including Slaga. He stopped at the entrance and silently unlocked the door. It had opened. "Go mudokkons. Be free!" Whispered Slaga. They ranout the door, ran thorugh the plain, and then deep into the forest.
Slaga then shut the door and locked it, snuck to his dressing room, and then went back to his bed. 'That wasn't so bad,' thoguht Slaga, 'this is easy. I can do this! I can do this!'

Chapter 15: A change in plans

In the morning, Gertian realized that all the muddokkons in area 67. He shriked. A slig rushed to him. "What's wrong?" He asked. "The employees in this area are gone. Gone!" Replied Gertian. The slig had patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay, boss. It's just one area." Said the slig. All of a sudden, he regreted saying that because Gertian started to get mad. "One area! This one area! This is one of the most important areas for working on my brew, idiot!" Exclaimed Gertian. Gertian had then calmed down. "No matter. You, find some more mudokkons to work in this area. Make sure they are newly hired." Ordered Gertian to the slig. "Yes sir." Replied the slig as he ran off. "As for the rest of you, get back to work!" Ordered Gertian. The sligs and mudokkons watching went back to work.
'I don't think these seprate nightstrikes aren't such a good idea,' thought Slaga as he was guarding, 'He'll just hire more mudokkons to work for him, and it takes such a short time for him to get more mudokkons.' He had decided to free all the mudokkons in one night. Then he realized, how could I do that? 'Just the same way I did with the nightstrikes! Only I would get them all in a long line and then out the door. That'll be gold!' Thought Slaga.
It would be a fine night for him, and a not-so-hot one for the sligs and Gertian! Slaga had thought he was so sneaky about this attack. He would even run free with the mudokkons as well. Even better, he would get a big bomb from the big bomb stash and blow the factory to bits! Slaga is going to be so happy tonight!

odd chick · #41 04-01-2005, 04:17 PM

Those two chapters were good, Sliguy, but I do have one thing that I can point out. I was so excited that I was going to see Slaga in action when he was rescuing the Mudokons. I was thinking I'd see him battle with a few sligs (possibly even big bros), but it was just like "bam, you're all free.". I just think that this part went too fast. Not that it was bad, it was good, it's just that it needs to be a bit more descriptive. I don't want you to get offended, I'm just trying to help.

Overall, it was very good, though.

Fuzzleman54321 · #42 04-16-2005, 03:31 PM

Please continue sligguy101! I really don't want you to leave this!

Abe16 · #43 04-16-2005, 04:15 PM

please finish! I like this story!

sliguy101 · #44 04-16-2005, 05:09 PM

Chapter 16: Free spirits

Slaga had waken up yet again. He got his brown cloak on and equipped his gun. He had peaked in the main work room. It was full of sligs guarding the mudokkons. Slaga got the slig's attention. They all turned around. "Intruder! Attack!" Ordered a slig. Before the other sligs could shoot, Slaga had shot them. Another slig hid and called for reinforcments.
Lots so sligs came charging towards Slaga. They had tried to shoot him, but he was too quick. As he ran, he shot all the other sligs. When a big trio of sligs were killed, another big trio would come. Mudokkons hid, scared of what might happen to them. "Is this person crazy?" Asked a mudokkon. "I don't know." Replied another mudokkon. Slaga had grown tired, waiting until he could reach the entrance door and open it so he could free the mudokkons. He kept moving and shooting the sligs that kept coming towards him. "I will free these mudokkons, and you won't stop me." Yelled Slaga faking his voice.
Slaga had finally killed all the sligs. All of them in the factory. Slaga was panting, and was proud of himself. He reached the entrance and opened it. "Be free mudokkons!" He yelled in his loudest voice. He saw mudokkons rushing out the entrance to the forest. Slaga had waited for this day, and it was well worth it. He took off the cloak and kept watching the mudokkons run to freedom. All of a sudden, more sligs came. "That slig let the mudokkons go! Get him!" Ordered a slig. Before they could fire, Slaga was gone. He dissapeared without a trace. What was more worse was that there was not a single mudokkon in the brewery. Sligs were confused. They told Gertian about the news. He dropped his cigar and got out of control. "Send a patrol out into the forest! Slaga, you'll pay for this!" Screamed Gertian.

The sequal to Slaga's Story "Slaga's Faith" is coming soon

odd chick · #45 04-16-2005, 10:57 PM

Great chapter! And it's perfectly set up for the sequel! I can't wait to read it-good job with this entire story, Sliguy!

Dancing Steef · #46 05-03-2005, 03:48 AM

Wow this is a really one heck of a GOOD story!

sliguy101 · #47 05-03-2005, 05:22 AM

Then you should read the sequil "Slaga's Faith."

kjjcarpenter · #48 05-07-2005, 08:17 PM

This is turning out great you have a good storyline!