The Joke thread -

MeechMunchie · #**541** 09-23-2010, 11:05 AM

A Catholic priest is just walking out of his church for lunch when a man runs up to him. His eyes are wild, his hair straggly and he looks like he's been through a hell of a lot.
'Father,' he gasps, 'Last night I commited several blasphemous sex acts with a teenage virgin, her sister and their mother!'
'Well,' says the priest, 'That's certainly an "interesting" story, but why are you telling me? I just got replaced in the confessions box by another priest.'
'Are you kidding? I'm telling everybody!'

STM · #**542** 09-24-2010, 10:09 AM

Heh, after three re-reads I get it

Slag? · #**543** 09-24-2010, 06:00 PM

I read it 6 times and still don't get it.

OANST · #**544** 09-25-2010, 07:36 AM

I read it once and said "meh".

Slag? · #**545** 09-25-2010, 10:07 AM

Would you kindly explain the joke to me?

OANST · #**546** 09-25-2010, 10:15 AM

He's excited that he fucked a couple sister's and their mom.

Wings of Fire · #**547** 09-25-2010, 10:24 AM

See, that's what I thought it was on first reading. Then reading down I found that someone 'got it', at which point I densely analyzed it for ten minutes to find something to get.

Slag? · #**548** 09-25-2010, 10:32 AM

Oh, I see. Now I get it.

STM · #**549** 09-25-2010, 11:52 AM

Train Com: We are sorry for that bumpy ride, some selfish gits threw themselves in front of the train, and due to cut backs we cannot finish this announce-

OANST · #**550** 09-25-2010, 12:07 PM

Is that a joke?

STM · #**551** 09-25-2010, 12:30 PM

If you didn't laugh, try and picture it as if Andy Parsons was saying it.

OANST · #**552** 09-25-2010, 12:45 PM

Is that a joke?

ziggy · #**553** 09-25-2010, 05:21 PM

The executioners at Breendonk concentration camp were so stupid. They had no imagination. For instance, they could have made their victims look at themselves in the mirror.

STM · #**554** 09-26-2010, 04:57 AM

No Ziggy, that's just, no, no!

Phylum · #**555** 09-26-2010, 05:25 AM

Hypocrite.

MA · #**556** 09-26-2010, 05:30 AM

i killed a man.

Phylum · #**557** 09-26-2010, 05:31 AM

Put a gun upto his head?

MA · #**558** 09-26-2010, 05:32 AM

pulled the trigger, now he's dead.

Phylum · #**559** 09-26-2010, 05:33 AM

Mother! Life had just begun!

Now I've gone and blown it all away!

Best 1000th post ever.

MA · #**560** 09-26-2010, 05:36 AM

i enjoyed the ride.

STM · #**561** 09-26-2010, 05:48 AM

Congrats on your 1000th post! Glad to have shared it with you!

Joke: Today London was petrified as a bomb was left outside a mosque, thankfully, we have been told not worry as Police have successfully moved it...back inside.

MA · #**562** 09-26-2010, 05:50 AM

OMG U RASEIST!

Mr.Spandexpants · #**563** 09-27-2010, 12:23 AM

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porshe?

A: A porcupine has its pricks on the outside.

MeechMunchie · #**564** 10-07-2010, 09:28 AM

What do you call an iron Father Christmas?
Santa Fe.

Our love life is like a box of chocolates...
...My fingers are brown and sticky when we're done.

enchilado · #**565** 10-07-2010, 02:41 PM

:

Our love life is like a box of chocolates...

That's what my momma always said.

shaman · #**566** 10-07-2010, 02:59 PM

What's got six legs and two heads?

Nirvana.

OANST · #**567** 10-08-2010, 07:21 AM

:

That's what my momma always said.

Your mom used to tell jokes about the two of your's love life?

Ridg3 · #**568** 10-08-2010, 10:13 AM

Two fat blokes sitting at the bar, one nods his head and says to the other, "Your round."

The other one replies, "So are you, you fat cunt!"

enchilado · #**569** 10-09-2010, 03:15 AM

:

Your mom used to tell jokes about the two of your's love life?

It was a fucking Forrest Gump reference you fucking cunt.

STM · #**570** 10-11-2010, 10:45 AM

I believe it goes "Life is like a box of chocolates, nobody likes the black ones," Sorry if I offend you, well I'm not but yeh. XD