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Resi 5 is only fun when you have a competent online partner. People without mic's are okay if they know what they're doing, but usually it's easier to use the Retarded AI.
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I'm not bad at Resi 5, if you were looking for someone who isn't a complete fucktard to play with

Been playing the series since it first came out, and I can safely say that I've run through most of the games with just the handgun and knife. Haven't had the chance to do a handgun-run with 5 yet though, been too busy preparing for my visit to Moscow.
The AI is, indeed, retarded. I give Sheva a nice AK-74 and what does she do? Continues to use the fucking handgun. Doesn't really help against Uroboros, the stupid tart.
And yes, get GTA 4!!! The game physics are brilliant and the missions are awesome superfun.