RIDDLES -

OddjobAbe · #**271** 06-20-2009, 11:01 AM

:

Find me a penis with perfectly straight bits.

Straight may not mean physically straight.

:

soulmate vagina out there for every penis.

I interpreted it more as "you can put it anywhere, but the intended place for it is a vagina".

OANST · #**272** 06-20-2009, 11:03 AM

I have perfectly straight bits. But then, when alone, I get these urges........

MA · #**273** 06-20-2009, 11:05 AM

mines fucking bent.

physically.

Wings of Fire · #**274** 06-20-2009, 11:09 AM

Learn to wank ambidextrously.

***Nate*** · #**275** 06-20-2009, 07:13 PM

:

I come in different shapes and sizes.
Part of me are curves, others are straight.
You can put me anywhere you like, but there is only one right place for me.
What am I?

Hat?

MA · #**276** 06-21-2009, 05:52 AM

good guess, but it isnt the one.

quite a tricky one.

Fuzzle King · #**277** 06-21-2009, 06:00 AM

Is it a jigsaw piece?

MA · #**278** 06-21-2009, 06:03 AM

bingo!

With pointed fangs it sits in wait,
With piercing force its doles out fate,
Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,
Eternally joining in a single bite.
What am I?

***Nate*** · #**279** 06-21-2009, 07:00 AM

A staple or some sort of paperclip/crocodile clip/bulldog clip thingy.

MA · #**280** 06-21-2009, 10:58 AM

correct with stapler.

I'm sometimes white,
Although sometimes I'm black.
I take you there,
But never bring you back.
What am I?

Wings of Fire · #**281** 06-21-2009, 11:11 AM

This one has to be penis.

OddjobAbe · #**282** 06-21-2009, 11:30 AM

A Ku Klux Klan member wearing shoe polish to disguise himself.

That was in bad taste.

More likely, penis.

MA · #**283** 06-21-2009, 01:39 PM

why do all my fucking riddles revolve around cock and balls? i think i might be trying to tell myself something.

:

That was in bad taste.

welcome to my world!

***Nate*** · #**284** 06-21-2009, 07:11 PM

:

correct with stapler.

I'm sometimes white,
Although sometimes I'm black.
I take you there,
But never bring you back.
What am I?

A compass with a needle painted black and white?

shaman · #**285** 06-22-2009, 01:41 AM

Compasses can be used to bring you back though.

MA · #**286** 06-22-2009, 07:02 AM

it isn't compass i'm afraid, even though it would fit.

Wings of Fire · #**287** 06-22-2009, 07:13 AM

Really fucking powerful cocaine.

abe is now! · #**288** 06-22-2009, 07:17 AM

Hi guys, this is my first riddle:
Pierino's mum's three kids, Gianni, Paolo and... ????

MA · #**289** 06-22-2009, 07:29 AM

Pierino.

abe is now! · #**290** 06-22-2009, 07:38 AM

:

Pierino.

Shit >.<

OddjobAbe · #**291** 06-22-2009, 07:44 AM

It doesn't help that we've had one that's more or less identical, only with the name "Jack".

abe is now! · #**292** 06-22-2009, 01:07 PM

:

It doesn't help that we've had one that's more or less identical, only with the name "Jack".

I have not read the entire thread, forgive me...

OddjobAbe · #**293** 06-22-2009, 01:32 PM

You are forgiven, O Italian one.

shaman · #**294** 06-22-2009, 01:32 PM

What do you call a fly with no legs?????

OddjobAbe · #**295** 06-22-2009, 01:33 PM

Legless.

MA · #**296** 06-22-2009, 01:54 PM

a walk?

abe is now! · #**297** 06-22-2009, 01:54 PM

:

Legless.

Legless fly...

shaman · #**298** 06-23-2009, 12:58 PM

MA is correct with "a walk".

As I was going to St Ives
I met a man with seven wives
Each wife had seven sacks
Each sack had seven cats
Each cat had seven kits
Kits, cats, sacks, wives
How many were going to St Ives?

An old classic.

OANST · #**299** 06-23-2009, 01:05 PM

:

MA is correct with "a walk".

That doesn't make any fucking sense. Was the question supposed to be "What do you call a fly without wings"?

shaman · #**300** 06-23-2009, 01:06 PM

My mistake