:
Nope. Ubisoft is making South Park.
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My bad.
Anyways,
here's my long-delayed review I promised to make. I wrote the half of it weeks ago and forgot to finish it. Wrote the rest today.
Fallout 4 (You're All Wankers)
I was going to play the game to completion or at least to half of it, but even after fighting with myself through all these
days weeks months, I just couldn't get myself into playing this game any longer. It's a bad game, and in comparison to original Fallout games, or any RPGs, it feels abysmal...
So I think I'll just post whatever I noted through first hours of playing, both good and bad stuff. Don't get me wrong, it's hard to find much good stuff in this uninspired, unloved child of Bethesda Softworks.
==Pre-start==
The perfect place to start reviewing is the beginning. After you launch the game you're being welcomed with trailer S.P.E.C.I.A.L. '60s style animated movies. I like them, they do a good job at recreating the feel of original Fallout pipboy movies and are longer and better animated. That was the main reason I kinda hoped the game wouldn't be that bad, or even be good.
After starting a new game you get to make your character via character editor. It's an idea basically copied from Sims4, based on 'sculpting' your character. The problem is it feels really limited, I felt like it could've had more freedom in editing than it has. It's not horrible, I managed to make a cool looking guy (by trying to make a stupid goofy character and failing at that) even despite the limitations.
He's got a long, sharp nose, hence I thought it was a good idea to name him Eagle, and so I did.
==Welcome to year 2003==
The very first thing you can see after getting the control of the camera and the movement of your hero is to see your wife/husband looking at a matte piece of glass that's supposed to be a mirror. That's the part when you realise the game looks really poor even on ultra settings, and yet the hardware requirements does not reflect the video quality at all (my PC was unable to play the game at higher settings than Low, but managed to play games like Crysis 2 or other games that look much much better than this one. Also it ran Fallout 3 perfectly). It's not only a downside of Bethesda's choice to upgrade their own 1997 engine over and over again instead of making something good from scratch, it also shows their laziness, as even 1997 games had reflectable mirrors. Want an example? Duke Nukem 3D was from 1996. Yes, it was 19 years before F4. Oh, and if you're not that bothered with the mirror, the character in front of it is animated in a way that their hands phase through their face. Way to have a great first impression, Bethesda.
The story is that you're a generic person, with a generic wife, and a generic kid. The kid is so generic that the character calls him by "an infant son". Remember real life fathers who call his babies like that? Me neither. You can also admire the developers' effort in naming the baby's bear "Mr. Bear" and other stuff like this. Points for originality.
The most original character in your house is your personal robot, Coddsworth, and by "most original" I mean "exactly like in Fallout 3". To my surprise, however, as I talked to him, he called me by the name I made up! At first I thought it was some sort of text-to-speech, then I discovered he's got a bank of something around 1000 voice clips for more or less popular names. I researched the subject and found out that most of the NPCs would refer to the hero by his name if Bethesda didn't scratch the idea for reasons unknown. He's currently the only NPC who does that.
Even at this point you can realise how glitchy this game is.
After a short while someone's ringing the doorbell and you're supposed to open the door. You can't really walk to it because you're being blocked by an invisible wall a meter away, but you can open it using Force by pressing a button, then it magically opens itself. You might argue that those things I complain about are minor issues, but keep in mind that an abundance of minor issues can impact your experience greatly, and it surely does in case of that game.
Turns out the person at the door was a happy looking salesman-type-of-guy who announced that our family got selected in trying the new Vault. Wait... happy looking? Yes, that's right, in F4 characters have visible face expressions and that's really a step up from stiff Fallout 3 faces. It's not a step up from F1 and F2 which had things like that, but let's not be picky, at least Beth improved one aspect of the game over F3.
That's also when you're introduced to dialogue system, which has been reduced to four dialogue choices at the time. That's not very good itself, but the responses are
streamlined (oh, how I abhor that term) dumbed down
and always follow the same darn scheme of Question/Good/Bad/Neutral response. I don't like to be treated as an idiot while playing a video game for adults. I also don't think highly of people who defend the system, for those reasons.
Not like these 4 choices matter anyway, from what I've played your choices never matter in the game. You get to go to the Vault anyway, regardless of what you say. In later games, you can deny doing some quests that result in having to do these quests later and that's all the real dialogue freedom you have in that game. Really. Wikipedia says it's a role-playing game and I'm not going to judge this game as not a role playing game. It's shameful and detestable that they did it that way and they had no excuse (apart from getting dumb, careless people to
play buy the game) for doing that.
After the guy leaves you get to go to the vault entrace by a very strict path, and if you try going elsewhere, I kid you not, the game drops a nuke on you. That's totally what happens. How bold. And irrational.
While wading through the streets minutes before the nukes come down, looking at the families losing their homes and everything, I think the developers were supposed to make me feel anything. I mean: the idea of the scene is pretty frightening, isn't it? I'd say they must've fucked up it badly if I don't feel anything except boredom and upset about it.
But hey, here's a picture of me standing at the middle of the fence near the invisible wall. Yeah, they're everywhere
==Vault Infinite==
Long story short, you get to the Vault, the nukes come down, but you’re being cryofrozen for years, because that’s a thing now.
there’s also a semi-interactive cutscene with your child being stolen but you can do nothing about it. Just like in Bioshock infinite. Or other games. What I mean is, it’s cliché and boring. Also, your generic wife dies. Hope you didn’t spend too much time creating her in the character face editor.
After being unfrozen, your main mission objective is to find your infant son.
And what a clever twist on F3’s amazingly complex and original story that is, oh boy.
You go few steps into the wasteland and see a dog. If you approach it, it will never leave you. Even if you don’t want it. You can’t tell it to leave. You can say mean things to the dog from the very start and it will annoy you until the end of the game. You lose. This awful piece of shit that’s one of the main new features of this game, while being in the previous games so it’s not really any new. BUT IT’S CUTE NOW, SO YOU NEED IT. Also, it can’t die.
No good NPC ever dies in this game. Nearly all good NPCs are completely invincible (they only get knocked out for a short while) and you can do nothing about it. And you know why?
Because this game hates you. It hates your choices, it hates your desire of freedom. The developers hate you and the game hates you.
I left the dog. At least now some part of the game knows I hate it back.
After that you visit a small city, and the locals ask you to do something trivial for them. You can either agree or wait and then agree. The game uses a special type of blackmail. “You don’t want to play by our rules? Okay. We can wait. Eventually you’ll change your mind”. You don’t really DENY a quest. You just… choose to do it later.
In exchange for the job you get access to a Power Armor, that’s just LYING ON THE TOP OF THE BUILDING. IT’S JUST THERE. SOMEBODY PUT IT THERE, and FORGOT, actually. You know, Power Armors are known as a common thing that’s just lying anywhere. That’s totally not a cheap plot device to get armor early, because Beth doesn’t give a darn shit about lores, continuity, Fallout series, whatever.
Once you get to the power armor (and fight the first Deathclaw [in fight as buggy as they always are in Bethesda games]) you quickly realise the fusion cores in PA don’t last 100 years as stated in the first fallout games but, like, 10 minutes.
I know what you’re thinking. I’m such a nitpicker. 10 minutes and 100 years ( 52.6 mln minutes) are almost the same deal, and the developers clearly care about the franchise. I’m sorry, it’s totally on me.
Some time after that I got fed up with the game (and it lagged as fuck, unoptimized turd of a game).
==Final Thoughts==
I abhor this game. It’s everything wrong with the industry in one game (maybe minus microtransactions and F2P). I can understand somebody likes a game I don’t, as in some games I can see there’s more than meets the idea, some creative ideas or effort. There’s no such thing in Fallout 4. It’s the most basic, shameless moneygrab of a game I can think of. It has NO redeeming values. It costs A LOT. It runs like SHIT. If you like Fallout 4, fuck you.
Bethesda ruined the series/10
==Extras==
-The in-game computers now have playable minigames. They’re ripoffs of classic arcade titles, so they’re technically better than the game they’re in.
-Regarding (lack of) decision in dialogues: some dialogues despite having 4 options have only one valid dialogue option, using others just makes the dialogue loop forever, until you choose the one the game wants you to choose.
-One of the NPC characters becomes a companion after you talked to her (Piper). Before you talk to her, if you try touching any of her stuff, she will kill you. If she’s your buddy she stops caring about her house and belongings completely.
-The village building turns out to be completely unnecessary. Nobody would ever attack your village anyway, or so I heard (also, it's not really a unique system anyway. It works the same as in e.g. Unturned free steam game)
-If you want to be a bad guy, there's one binary choice at the end of the game (or so I heard). Not much of an evil path besides that
Here’s the small collection of screenshots I made while playing this joke, if anyone cares. It’s all of them, no editing.