Oddworld - One moolah

[STM]

Hi,
Does anyone remember some of my old fan fictions? Probably not they only got a few views. I'm trying again so here goes.

Chapter one - Introduction to Power

Al Capeeche was bored, he stood in his room and looked out at the bleak surroundings, he had decided to situate his room right in the centre of his factory, a stupid idea, it was dull, dim and monotonous, he remembered it only forty years ago, the little mill on top of the hillside, surrounded by pines and lush green rolling hills, meeps as well, thousands upon thousands of meeps, not any more, over the years he had grown his enterprise into a global competitor, part of both the vykers conglomerates and the Magog Cartel he owned at least 12% of each market. He remembered his unusual luck, he found a moolah coin on the pavement in one of Oddworld's many industrial hubs, he used it to buy a lottery ticket, the winning prize being $900,000, well he won, and he spent the money to employ sligs to make a hostile takeover of a small mill on a hillside on Northern Paramonia , that provided him with an outlet to make the meep packs and a workforce of ten sligs and twelve mudokons.

He had been a benevolent dictator, over the years he grew from a pud to a chump to a wanna be, he hated that term but it was better than junior executive. He had a custom suit made for him by vyker tailors, $150,000.
The original workers and guards all survived and he treated them relatively well. He hired more and within ten years he had encroached upon the natural lands and destroyed them, the conquest against nature had gone well and he had expanded out until he had over 2000 employees.
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Slum lowered himself down from the platform and hid in the shadows, the slig guards wandered past chatting to each other about odd knows what. They all carried the primitive crossbows that Capeeche ordered. Only the highest ranking sligs got powerful weapons. For some reason unknown to most people besides the original twenty two, all employee task masters had to rank up and improve to get better equipment.
He waited for the sligs to go before he clambered out of the shadows and wandered along the pathway, the dim Gothic lamps gave a pale light on everything, including the one slig left.
"Freeze."

[Uros Osium Tokker]

I wana see morez :3 Lets see what happens x3! *nibles around asking for more*

[Lord Stanley]

A nice beginning.

[AlexFili]

This sounds really good.

[STM]

dankershun, more coming up in a day or two

[STM]

Chapter Two - A day in the life of

The slig gripped a lungbuster in his tentacles and chewed it tentatively, his visor was rudimentary but his gun crossbow appeared to be semi automatic, an upgrade.
"What are you doing here?" Asked the slig, "You know it's almost curfew, return to your cell for sleep induction."
The mudokon backed off slowly and his foot nearly slipped of the ledge, reminding him how high up he was, the debris bounced down into the black below and the mudokon gulped. He would have to face the slig to continue on his path, there was only one portal and it wouldn't be open for long. He edged forward along the narrow platform and the slig flexed his tendrils menacingly, the mudokon expected a confrontation but the slig budged up against he barriers and the mudokon moved past breathing a sigh of relief.
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Capeeche made his way out of his office, he was done with reminiscing, he decided to check up on the vykers partition, science marvelled him, how was it possible that the alchemists could make gold from copper and Chon? And how could they keep creating better products? His valet walked in front to guard the glukkon and pull any of the elevators they would face. The intern radio station was ahead, it was run by an intern without stitched lips, a truly horrible sight. The intern's jaws where sideways in comparison with other animals and therefore they could not stop themselves from dribbling, any interns without stitched lips had to wear masks with spitcatchas welded on. In actual fact an intern is highly intelligent but after years of listening to corporate propaganda and blaring music, they lose any characteristics they once had, the Magog Cartel literally turned them into mindless drones.

(A description paragraphs(s))

[enchilado]

Your grammar leaves something to be desired, but so far the story seems very good.

[STM]

Yep I've been told that I have that there yes.

[Lord Stanley]

I like the idea of 'spitcatchas.' I've always been interested in Interns, since the look cool, and the thought of intelligent ones is interesting.

[STM]

thx, more coming up when I get back from Germany

[STM]

Chapter Three
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"And now on intern meep mashaz radio 321.243 FM, a classic, don't use yer imagination!" Capeeche heard as he walked into the radio station with his valet at his side, the room was small and had large glass windows looking out at the rest of the factory, there where large instruments to record parts strewn about and the desks where all cluttered with waste and old tapes.
"Ooh, looks like we have a very important guest, Mr. Capeeche, what an honour, is there a reason for your visit?" Asked the intern in a slightly worried fashion as he pushed a small clear instrument filled with water and a green powdery substance inside into a draw, Interns that can speak, speak in a very dull fashion but this intern spoke with slight vigour in his voice, as if he was not entirely brainwashed.
"No reason Intern 321, just wanted to look around, I haven't been out of my room in Odd knows how long." Capeeche spoke with a look of nostalgia in his eyes.
"All right now lets look to the CCTV camera's to get a good view on our benevolent leaders place of work, oh my what's this? SECURITY."

Capeeche view fixed on the screen.