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  #1  
05-06-2007, 03:04 AM
skillyaslig's Avatar
skillyaslig
Outlaw Cutter
 
: Mar 2007
: Beneath the sink
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Happy Cops and Robbers

Hello, this is a story I've been working on for a while. Please, tell me what you think.

The Cannibal
Planet:Sanfuny
Local time: 4:21pm
Location: Entering the planets atmosphere.
Mission: Locate and arrest Kane, a thief and cannibalistic aqua-blue wolf.
A large silver space ship flew downward and entered the atmosphere. Flames licked along the wide wings of the stingray shaped ship. The ship had a long rudder tipped with a space cutter (a device with helps prevent crashing and sending long telqwaves). It had two rocket-like thrusters under each wing which were spewing out long ribbons of gold, red and purple fumes. Along the hull of the ship were A.M.C.S. painted in black letters. Its only weapons were two ray guns at the face of the boat, and, a long, green shock-blaster which pulsed eerily and flames curled around it. As the flames increased, there was a loud crash and a large plate was torn off the front of the ship.
"What was that?" Slykin, a tall fox-like creature exclaimed as he leaped forward, craning his red neck as he attempted to see the escaping plate. He had a fox-like face but with a broader snout, and black muzzle and ears.
"Did you see that?!?" Alice, a skinny Manfrank, shrilled, as she wretched the steering wheal around.
"Darn, it looked like a hyper-space modulator plate." Slykin said as he leaped over Alice’s long green tail, careful to avoid the six long blue spikes which grew along it. He switched a few knobs and switches with his black paws, and then scowled at the power and stabilization panel as it rose then sunk down, causing the ship to shudder.
Alice rammed her black horse-like hoofs on the brake. She flicked back her cooper curls and bared her teeth.
"We’re going too goddam fast! If the ship doesn’t stabilize this landing is going to get pretty fun."
"Define 'fun'."
"‘Oh God, Oh God, we are all gonna die?' "Alice said biting her lower lip.
Slykin walked over to the ships radio. "Ahh, this is the captain, and uhh... we may be suffering from some technical difficulty when we clear from the atmosphere and explode," He switched it off. "Have you activated the Gravaity-hypodrive lift?"
"I'm doing it, it’s not enough!"
"Well just get us on the ground." Slykin called as he walked in to the common corridor of the ship.
"Yeah, that part will happen pretty definitely." Alice called after him, in her clear, sweet voice.
He loped down the dimly lit corridor, his red brush flicking behind him. There were 12 rooms each one connected to the main hall. The room right at the very back was the pool room. The pool was the size of an Olympic one. Next was the armory. It was a massive room filled to the roof with weapons gadgets and amour. Across that was the holding area, a massive reinforced room with titanium doors. It was used to hold the A.M.C.S’s criminals. Farther down was the kitchen and the engine room. Then there were the cabins of each of the crew and then the stairway that led down to the docking area. As he passed the kitchen he narrowly missed colliding with Jake, who had wandered out of the kitchen area. Jake was a leathery brown color and was wearing a green shorts and top. He had long curling ears and had four long, thick tentacles producing from his back. He had a long snout that was tipped with four fangs which jutted out of his long narrow jaw. He had over long arms, which meant he could wander around on all fours but, if need be, he could rear up on two legs. He was eating what looked like the remains of a fat rat, its pink, hairless tail dangling from his long teeth.
"Ave Chief... is that nutter goin' to kill us all?" He snorted, slurping up the rat like spaghetti.
Slykin swatted at him with a black paw. "Nasty beast, you know what Yasmine would do to you if she caught you eating before supper."
Jake laughed so hard he nearly fell over. "Phahh! That Sanberg couldn’t hit a Slogger." He coughed then, spitting dead rat in Slykins face.
"Well, stop eating and go and help Klaww fix up the armory, with an entrance like this, Kane would have to be blind, deaf and dumb no to notice us.” He yelped and nearly fell over as the ship shuddered.
Jake looked warily at the roof, as if a monster was about to spring out and bite his
head off.
Slykin made a face then he smelled a stench of burning meat. He walked up a set of stairs, up into the engine room, where he saw Yasmine and Jube hurriedly putting out a fire. Jube, a scaly green amphibious creature, inhaled a deep breath, and then he spewed out a thick torrent of water which flowed out of his crocodile jaws and then collided with the fire, causing great gouts of steam. The engine room was roughly rectangle, with rust colored walls. The engine was literally the heart of the ship. It was really a great vain -ridden pulsing red/purple heart. It bathed the walls in a deep purpley moron color. The three main tubes flowed out, the left was connected to the left side of the room were it connected to a large sickly purple/pink lung type thing that hung from the wall, the right tube was like-wise. The middle tube twisted up towards the roof, were it met a smooth pulsing dome which shimmered with eerily lights. It was the left lung-thing which was aflame. The heart shuddered and regained its beat. Jube ducked as a piece of lung flew past and hit Yasmine in the face. Jube exhaled as the fire died. He then noticed Slykin in the door.
"Heeer, Cap'n... We arr gote evehy thion unner contrrole. Der Hert asg misser da bert but iz shood be upta and fine in dar cooplte of movmerts...Weve shoe hade srooth lounding." He gave a toothy grin. His long eel-like rudder slapped on the shimmering ground. He had a shark fin and webbed claws with slender whiskers flowing from his snout and jaw-bone.
Yasmine casted a loving looks at the massive heart. "We have her all tidied up, and betting anew. However we will need to get a new hyper-space plate, and one of the inside arteries is blocked, we'll need to unclog it or we will all die." She said causally watching the heart.
"You're a very up beast." Slykin muttered, he turned and said. "Come on, we need to get ready for the arrest."
"Bah! Thieving scum, those wolves!" Yasmine hissed baring her cat teeth. Yasmines long tail twitched in rage. She was a bit taller then Slykin, with pink fur and triangle shaped purple stripes. She had big sleek ears and two long feelers growing from her skull. She was wearing brown shorts and a powder blue T-shirt. She then stalked off, hissing and snarling, sounding much like a Dek'Vorh. Slykin watched her go, marveling at her unnatural grace. Yasmine was a strongly charmed animal; she was like dragons and elves, half in and out of the realm of charm. In this Galaxy there was over eighty worlds, each one had different habituate and creatures. There were five major types of creatures. There is just normal animals (but whom can speck, and fly ships and so on), creatures with no charm or magic, like humans are. The next is charm, which is like Dragons and other creatures of magic. Feral, that’s like dog, sheep, tigers etc... They can be tamed but most stay wild. Then there were the robots, intelligent beings made from technology and charm. The last is natural, creatures which look like wild animals but have the intelligence of humans or normal animals. Jube and Yasmine were the Charmed on this ship, while the rest didn't have a pinch of magic in their blood. Klaww was a natural beast. Slykin was snapped out of his trance by Yasmines enraged shrieking.
"You filthy, greedy beast! How many times do I have to tell you? No eating before supper!" Screeching with rage she chased Jake, who had another rat hanging from his jaws, down toward the pool room, punching and kicking his back and hide without mercy.
"Arrgh! Mad beast! You crazy females!" Jake squawked, escaping Yasmines claws by crawling into the air vents.
"Oi! Yasmine!" She swung around, her pupils contracting to thin slits in the light. "We gotta get suited up. Or geared up... whatever."
"Oiee be rihte. Les go Yesmane, Time toe catch us da chemeral." Jube gurgled as he slithered past.
Yasmine sighed, "Very well." She tuned and wandered past Slykin and up to a huge reinforced door. She placed a paw on the scan board, typed out the password then said clearly into a small microphone "Yasmine." The door smoothly sung open. She typed in the "locked door" code, meaning the doors would remain open until told otherwise. Klaww and Talonwing were already in there, sharping their claws. Talonwing, a large inky black griffin, spotted Slykin behind Yasmine.
"Hey, Slykin here." He said in his deep yet chirpy voice. He chucked Slykin his two Dual pistols. Slykin swiftly caught them. They were roughly pistol shaped but with longer nozzles and scopes. They also fired small bolts of plasma which burned through fur and skin. He stuck both of them in his two empty holsters. Klaww was a yellow Utharaptor with purple stripes on his back, neck and on his arms and legs. His belly was also purple. He was handing Yasmine a large shockgun, a shotgun-like weapon that fired short blasts of electricity. The armory was filled with guns, armor and other gadgets. Slykin fitted himself with a normal looking black T-shirt and jeans, which were really high-Tec fire, ice, acid and lightning proof armor. His shoes were like wise protected. Jube, Klaww, Talonwing and Jake didn't need weapons as they used their claws and teeth to attack. There was a huge shudder and a boom and then a strange dog-bat like animal entered the armory. She had a long sleek snout, with red fur and straight tomato hair. She had a black face with the under side of her red tail in black. She had green batwings which gleamed in the lights. She was
wearing a purple shirt and blue jeans and was carrying a heavy-duty-machine-lava-gun (or HDMLG). She wriggled her black nose.
"Alice has landed and we are just out side the path that leads to the castle that Kane is hiding in."
Slykin grinned; he reached out and plucked his police badge, a silver star, and stuck it to his chest. "Let’s get at it then."

The crew, even Alice, who was wearing a yellow blouse and acid-green trousers, was gathered outside of the ship. They had parked right outside of two massive mountain peaks, and nearly invisible, was a small rocky path, which was crammed in-between, the two giants.
"Wooweee! Lookit the size of 'eves monsters!" Jake exclaimed, his eyebrows nearly flying off his face.
Slykin sniffed the air and grimaced; there was a rotten stench in the air. "This is the place alright. Come on gang. I expect that the cannibalistic canine is hiding down that path. Talonwing, can you fly around and give us some air support?"
Talonwing reared back on his lion paws and, with his bird talons, saluted. "Yes sir!" With a screech he took off, his long feathery wings beating the air.
"Grrrr, are wev gonta use force onh diz kanie?" Jube asked as the crew wondered down the narrow path.
"Well I don't think he's gonna say 'Hey! Come on in and have a milkshake' if that’s what you mean." Yasmine said.
Slykin looked up; Talonwing was circling above, high enough to be mistaken for a bird.
It took a while to reach the old castle Kane was hiding in as the path was old and overgrown with thorny vines. After about half an hour the path began to widen and Talonwing winged his way down.
"The castle is right around that bend, but be on the look out, there’s something freaky 'bout that place."
"I’ve hurt thart a necromancer usrat ta lived in thee cattle." Jube said.
"Well let’s get at it then! Alice, you stay close to Talonwing and me, okay?" Klaww said to Alice. Talonwing and Klaww treated Alice as if she was their beloved sister. They would risk life and limb for her.
They rounded the corner and saw a massive castle. It would have been a magnificent structure in its prime, but now it was a crumbling old wreck. It had a triangle body with three spires on each point. In the middle was a large tower which was topped with a long iron spike. A massive steel fence surrounded the castle. The huge gates were rusted and the left had fallen off. Two stone pillars flanked the gates and on each one was a snarling gargoyle. When they passed the pillars and gates the gargoyles hissed at them and took off, their heavy stone wings beating the air.
Talonwing, whom had hissed back at the gargoyles, turned to Slykin. "That nutter will know we are here. You still game?"
Slykin nodded then strolled over to the small wooden front doors and booted them open. He stalked into the huge dusty room, the rest of the police closely following him. He frowned and scanned the room; it was empty except for two curving stair cases. He sniffed and he notice the gore smell had increased. At first he didn't notice a door to the right open, but then a high-pitched voice sounded out.
"Ooooh, the cops are here. I wonder what they want."
The crew sung around; there, in the center of the room, was a large turquoise wolf. He had blood-red markings, as if his snout, paws and tail were dyed in red. His front legs were unnaturally long and tipped with long, knife-like claws. He had a pair of two small feathery wings on his back.He flicked his tail at them and smirked.
Slykin drew his pistols and said calmly, "Kane Wolf, you are bound by law to stand down. You are wanted for theft, cannabl-"
"Oh give a rest you nuts. What, you think I will just go with you guys?"
"You will or we will beat you sinless you snot-eating human!" Yasmine shouted. She lunged forward and loosed a thick torrent of realm ice, which streaked from her pink paw and zipped towards Kane. He hissed and skipped sideways then sprang forward. He crossed the distance between them in seconds and smashed into Jake, throwing him in the air. The battle was madness, fur and feathers flew every where. Alice turned sharply, slicing open Kane’s thigh with her sharp tail spikes. Ember whacked Klaww in the side of the head with the butt of the HDMLG, knocking him off his claws and sending him blundering into Yasmine. Jake bit Kane in the wrist, forcing him to let go of Yasmine, whom Kane had snatched her up in his hideous claws. Slykin shot Kane in the hide, causing him to rear backwards and Kane smashed him against the head bowling him off his feet and Slykin saw Jube leap forward, turn sharply and hit Kane a massive whack across the face with his rudder. Kane was thrown backwards, allowing the crew to get to their feet. Kane reared upward and loosened a thick torrent of realm flame. The cops yelped and threw themselves clear. Smoke billowed everywhere, blocking their views. Kane would of escaped if Talonwing hadn't of flown up into the air. He saw Kane sprinting towards
the door. He beat his wings, once, twice, and then plummeted toward him with a half lion-roar and part eagle-cry. He smashed into Kane with the force of a truck, smashing him into the ground. He grasped Kane by his jaw, hissing as Kane’s talons racked against his belly, and cracked his head against the stone ground, knocking him clean out.
"Whooer! Yove gorra hime!" Jube exclaimed, baring his long teeth.
Klaww flinched as Alice gingerly touched the scratched skin of his side. The rest of the crew was fine, a few scratches and bruises but they would heal. Yasmine was using a healing charm on Klawws side. Slykin hurried over to Talonwing, who had walked off Kane’s unconscious body.
"Good work mate!" He said, beaming at Talonwing, who beamed back. He took out some handcuffs and locked Kane’s paws and legs together. The handcuffs looked like silver bracelets which, when activated, would beam a jagged plasma line which would lock together making unbreakable cuffs. He also fixed a muzzle over Kane’s head.
"Come on guys, help me out here!" He called to the others.
They came over, congratulating Talonwing on the capture, and helping Slykin to lift Kane up. They were careful not to trip as they took Kane back to the ship. They already had a reinforced room to help contain the dangerous criminal. They locked up the doors, Klaww and Talonwing offered to guard the door. Just in case he managed to break out. Alice took up the helm.
"Ready to rocket captain?" Alice said, showing even, sharp teeth.
"Ready. Ha, can't till we show those stuck-up beasts at the headquarters. They never thought we’d catch him."
"Be careful though. The press will be all over this... you know that old Lenny the media vulture will be hovering around. He’d die before missing a feast like this." Yasmine laughed.
"Let’s see then." Slykin replied, as the ship shuddered into life and rose steadily from
the dry ground.



Yes, thats one chapter...what do you think?
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  #2  
05-06-2007, 03:12 AM
LadySlig's Avatar
LadySlig
Fuzzle
 
: Apr 2007
: In a dishwasher
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Rep Power: 18
LadySlig  (10)

Very nice, great use of adjectives.
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