Never piss off a big, fat guy

Dipstikk · #1 07-13-2005, 07:22 PM

Just as the title says.

Of all the stupid things you could possibly do, this is one of the worst.

You don't know who you might run into. Hopefully you'll run into a docile fat guy, but in the off chance you do run into a bruiser, RUN.

Take me, for example. 297 Ibs of bulk, 150 of it going into a punch. Ever get hit with a dryer? Yeah, it's like that, or so I'm told.

I weigh nearly 300 Ibs. Imagine being shoulder-rammed by something that thick.
You better hope you're fuuckin' Speedy Gonzalez, because you do not want to be in the path of a fat guy pumped full of testosterone.

Just saying that it's probably the dumbest thing to stick around for.

And yes, I did type this up from a personal experience. Some twig decided they could hold their own against me. A twig against an elm tree.

Yay for solving problems through bruitish means instead of intellegence! *lackluster cheer*

Kimon · #2 07-13-2005, 07:25 PM

You're leaving me hangin', man. THERE'S JUST A COMMA!!!!

Also, I guess I'll avoid getting hit by fat people....

....

Are you drunk?

Dipstikk · #3 07-13-2005, 07:33 PM

Nah. But what else are we gonna do? Is this any worse than "Admit it. You jack off?"

This will mark the ERA OF BORING THREADS!

Kimon · #4 07-13-2005, 07:40 PM

That twig DESERVED IT! That punk.

And I guess there is nothing to talk about. So WhateVAH!

Majic · #5 07-13-2005, 07:58 PM

I find large people to be intimidating enough. Except for this guy my mom talks about. Leon is a 6'4 black massage person thingy who also does flower deliveries on the side. Nah, don't think I'd be too scared of him.

On a serious note, while this thread seems a bit questionable, it's certainly better than diverting full attention on to masturbation. Hell, after posting in that thread I was darn near ready to make a topic dedicated to Pop Tarts and all their mysterious goodliness. Still might, now that I think about it.

Kimon · #6 07-13-2005, 08:05 PM

While you're at it, add Lucky Charms as a side note. They're just so damn good...

Oh, yeah on "topic".

Fat people do not scare me. In fact, I think I, being so skinny, scare them. They think I'm some kind of skeleton ghost or something. And then I poke their love handles. Mwa-hahaha!

Dipstikk · #7 07-13-2005, 08:14 PM

Yeah, like Kimon said. "Topic."

This is crap. I need to think before I post. Searex! We need the power of lockage!

Sorry guys.

AquaticAmbi · #8 07-13-2005, 08:24 PM

Generally, I try not to get into conflicts, especially ones that could lead to physical harm, with anyone. I'm so fragile... I'd snap like a twig if a person of your size decided to beat on me a bit.

On a side note, my mom did try to hit me with a hairdryer once, so I almost knew what it feels like. Not really sorry that I don't.

Dipstikk · #9 07-13-2005, 08:29 PM

:

Generally, I try not to get into conflicts, especially ones that could lead to physical harm, with anyone. I'm so fragile... I'd snap like a twig if a person of your size decided to beat on me a bit.

No, no. I don't hit women. That's not right.

Kimon · #10 07-13-2005, 08:37 PM

:

No, no. I don't hit women. That's not right.

Indeed. Well, abusing anyone is bad, but yeah.

And Dipstikk, I was just joking. There's some potential for discussion here!

Ummm... so why do fat kids love pork rinds?

Dipstikk · #11 07-13-2005, 09:20 PM

I find the taste of boiled and fried pig's...whatever they are... to be absolutely disgusting.

A better question would be: Why do fat people love Burger King food?

Answer: the smell and taste of their fries makes us absolutely randy.

TheRaisin · #12 07-13-2005, 10:12 PM

Pssshh. Lies. BK makes me gag. Well, so does most fast food, but BK in particular!

Uhm.... hmm. What IS the topic here, exactly? Talk about our various run-ins and mishaps with big, violent fat guys?

Majic · #13 07-13-2005, 10:51 PM

Burger King is just a bit... ick. The lowest form of burger I'll shell out for is Wendy's, and that's a stretch. Whataburger on up, I say.

Dino · #14 07-14-2005, 12:12 AM

I've found that since learning aikido I can take anyone out, regardless of how big they are... so I decided to put that to the test and try flooring this guy who gave me trouble cause I was tresspassing on this abandoned site, he looked about 300lbs, maybe more, he was a BIG guy, much bigger than Dipstikk, arms like tree trunks, legs like oak boughs, belly rings like monstertruck tires. Anyway I went back there, found the guy, and he noticed me and started shouting.

So what do I do? Walk up to him very calmly but quite well paced. Stop short of him, side on, floor him - BAM, hits the floor at around 40 mph, I walk off and leave him there. Not a problem at all, in fact he didn't stand a chance. He wasn't hard to move, yet he could probably lift a car up without a jack.

I was quite pleased with myself because it must've looked like something out of the Matrix - little skinny thing like me effortlessly taking out a big guy like him. But it goes to show that it's all about technique... every single fight I've ever been involved in since then has been stunningly short lived, with my opponents ending up getting well acquainted with the floor within a matter of a few seconds.

Rich · #15 07-14-2005, 01:52 AM

Lol, nice stories here everyone.
I feel sorry for fat people so I'm very unlikely to get in a fight with them.

:

You better hope you're fuuckin' Speedy Gonzalez

Ahhh! Nooo! He's sexed me.

But yeah, I am really fast so I'd just run away.

Silversnow · #16 07-14-2005, 04:20 AM

I don't find fat, large people scary at all. Must be because my dad is a giant, towering hulk of a man who probably can (and has) beat up anyone he'd like to. Of course, he always beats me when we fight. He almost dislocated my shoulder once.

My kung-fu is weak.

Jacob · #17 07-14-2005, 05:54 AM

I personally see violence as a primitive way to solve matters, and rely on sharp and cutting remarks to solve my annoyances of prissy little twats.

Failing that, and if it does kick off (which it hasn't for a good 10 years now) i probably would fight. The thing with this generation of youths, however, is that none of them have honour and so instead of it being one on one, they'd happily have it as five on one.

...which is why i'm rather jollyed at the fact i have a few GRRR-ARRRRG friends as well.

Oh, and Dino, what did that random large guy do to deserve to be floored, exactly?

Dino · #18 07-14-2005, 08:12 AM

:

Oh, and Dino, what did that random large guy do to deserve to be floored, exactly?

He threatened a friend, as well as me. When I explained to him that we were just exploring the place and taking harmless photos he told me that I was lying and if he ever caught me there again he'd essentially beat me up. When asked why he's taking the law into his own hands he made up a story about how he was asked to look after the place, and said that he didn't care about the law because he'd been to prison before.

Other than that he was just an obnoxious person who needed to be put in his place.

Coolmanbizkit · #19 07-14-2005, 10:41 AM

:

he'd been to prison before.

Sounds like the typical prison 'Bubba'

Dipstikk · #20 07-14-2005, 10:47 AM

:

Uhm.... hmm. What IS the topic here, exactly? Talk about our various run-ins and mishaps with big, violent fat guys?

I dunno what it was for. But Kimon insisted I not let it be closed. I'm gonna request a lock.

:

He threatened a friend, as well as me. When I explained to him that we were just exploring the place and taking harmless photos he told me that I was lying and if he ever caught me there again he'd essentially beat me up. When asked why he's taking the law into his own hands he made up a story about how he was asked to look after the place, and said that he didn't care about the law because he'd been to prison before.

Other than that he was just an obnoxious person who needed to be put in his place.

That would have been so cool to see!

Bah, I hate people thike that guy. "Oh, I've been to jail before." So you don't care if you go back? Someone's forgotten their nightly meetings with Jim, and the resulting sore ass the next moring.

Searex, I still need a lock!

Majic · #21 07-14-2005, 12:21 PM

I'm still a mod here too, ya know. Nyah

Any arguments against the closing of a thread dedicated to fighting fat people? Yes? No?

kz then, *locks*