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  #1  
07-14-2001, 01:41 PM
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Oddsville
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: Jun 2001
: Florida
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"Kites Oddysee"

Hey I just wanted to let everyone know that this story is about a Kinto Slave, Im not sure if they can even talk yet seince I have never seen one in game play, BUT ITS MY STORY!!! Please tell me what you think of it in your posts.

Kites Oddysee

Hi... can you help me. My name, ahh, I dont know, I can’t remember anything.
Everything’s blurry, what you say Im a slave, a Kinto Slave? I don’t know what
your talking about. Can you help me, who are you, what are you doing, NO!!!...

That was three years ago... the day I woke up and found myself here. I still don’t
know what happened that day or why it happened, but now I’m stuck here. Stuck
here without a past... and without a future unless I can escape from this hell. The
only name I know to be my own is Kite, how I got that name I don’t know, all I
know is that when I first awoke, that’s what the others called me. The others,
slaves just like me without a past. When I first awoke into this world they called
me Kite and kept on saying that I had the mark. To this day I still don’t know what
the mark is or how I got it, but they say it means I’m special, that I’ll lead them to
freedom and end the reign of my captors.

“Kite over here, we got a new one”, that’s my friend Blitz. He was the only one
who was willing to take care of me the first day I arrived. I can still remember
when he explained all of this to me, why I was here, and what they where gonna
do to me. (Flash back) “ Hey man are you ok?”, my vision was still blurry and I
could only see a shadow over me. “What, where am I?”, my head was throbbing.
“You’re at Kennels Co.”, “What?” I said as I tried to stand but quickly fell. “I feel
so weak” I said, “yea I know, that’s what all newcomers feel like.”. “Newcomers?”
I said with curiosity. “Here let me explain; This is Kennels Co., it’s a place where
they create and mutate all of Oddworlds slave population. They’re hoping that one
day they will create the perfect beast to use in war and as security guards. Us,
we’re their experiments.”.

“But what happened to me, why can’t I remember what my life was like before
this?” I asked with curiosity, “Because they fear that if we do remember our past’s
then we’ll be more likely to try and escape. Without a past we are nothing, and
that’s exactly what they want us to be... nothing.” he said as his expression grew
sad and he looked down at the dirt covered metallic floors. I didn’t say anything
after that, at least not for awhile. The first days kinda went by slow as I ajusted to
my new surroundings, but over time I grew used to my new life as a test subject. I
mean, the shots of acid don’t burn that much and the microchips they put in me
only hurt for three days. “Kite!”, “Whooa!” (Kite is suddenly brought back to
reality). “We gotta another new slave, this time they mutilated him pretty good
before they put him in here”. I walked over and peered at the lifeless, mutilated
body of what looked to be a Mudokon. “What did they do to him” I asked in
horror...
__________________
..I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace; but the shop owner and his son, that's a different story all together...I had to beat them to death with their own shoes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRSHXhJzsY

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  #2  
07-14-2001, 07:45 PM
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Silversnow
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: Apr 2001
: Closer than you think..
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Well, Oddsville, the beginning is good, very good...

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  #3  
07-15-2001, 08:59 PM
Oddsville's Avatar
Oddsville
Oddworld Almanac
 
: Jun 2001
: Florida
: 1,830
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Hey people please tell me what you think of my story I know its not as good as "Fragments" by Rettick (WHICH IS VERY GOOD), but give me a break Im new at this...

Chapter 2:

We Quickly took the Mudokon and put him in a pile of straw that Blitz slept in.
Everyone quickly gathered around the severely beaten Mudokon asking us what
had happened to him. Suddenly all the questions stopped and everyone turned
their back to the beaten Mudokon. “Blitz whats going on?” I asked wondering
what everyone was looking at. “Its him” Blitz replied, “who?” I asked getting
angry. “Listen there was something I forgot to tell you when you first arrived
here.”

Blitz looked at me with concern. “...What are you talking about?” I said getting
utterly concerned, “ahh” he sighed. “Listen, a long long time ago before I first
arrived here there was one just like you. He was a Kinto Slave, he wasn’t normal
though he started predicting things that hadn’t happened yet-”. “He could predict
the future.” I interrupted, “- yes kinda like that. Anyways every once in awhile we
would get a new slave with sever wounds and... he healed them. Just by touching
the wounds. Over time he got the name The Prophet, one of his most popular
predictions was that another one just like him would show up one day and he
would be the chosen one.”

“How would you know he was the chosen one?” I interrupted again. “Im getting to
that” said Blitz angrily. “The Prophet said that he would have the marks, but thats
all he said.”. I just sat there wondering if Blitz was telling the truth. “But I don’t
have any...marks?” I said hoping I was right. “Kite! your birthmark. Thats why
everyone was ignoring you the first day you arrived, they where afraid you would
draw the attention of the guards.”. I sat there in shock suddenly remembering my
birthmark. I was snapped back to reality when I relized I was being pushed aside
by someone. When I looked up I saw him, the prophet. Blitz was right he looked
exactly like me, exept older. As the prophet pushed me away he noticed my
birthmark. “You!!” he said in a raspy, surprised voice.

[ July 16, 2001: Message edited by: Oddsville ]

[ July 16, 2001: Message edited by: Oddsville ]
__________________
..I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace; but the shop owner and his son, that's a different story all together...I had to beat them to death with their own shoes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRSHXhJzsY

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  #4  
07-17-2001, 07:48 PM
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TheBlueScrab
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: Jun 2001
: Germany
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Hi
I think your fiction is very good!
Don´t be sad, Oddsville!
Be cool!

Bye, TheBlueScrab

[ July 17, 2001: Message edited by: TheBlueScrab ]
__________________
http://www.oddworld.au.com/misc/banners/bluescrab.gif
Why´d run away?
Don´t you like my style??
Why don´t you come and play, I guarantee you a great big smile.
I come from the imagination, and I´m here stricly by your invocation..so what´d you say?
Why don´t we dance a while?
Cause' I know what you feel boy.
I know just what you feel boy.
You call me and I come a-runnin.
I turn the music on I bring the fun in.

I can bring whole city`s to ruin, and still have time to get a soft shoe in.

Now, we´re partying, that´s what it´s all about!

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  #5  
07-19-2001, 10:49 PM
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Abe's son
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: Jul 2001
: Essex MA
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hey you don't know me but you got a grat story keep writeing the storys great so far!


---------------------------------------------

i got some'n to say but no body wants to listen.WELL TO BAD BUB!!
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  #6  
07-22-2001, 10:59 PM
Oddsville's Avatar
Oddsville
Oddworld Almanac
 
: Jun 2001
: Florida
: 1,830
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Sorry for taking to long to response, and Im sorry for chapter 2. I thought It was alittle boring. I hope this chapter is alittle bit better than the last, and I promise you that the rest of the chapters from now on will be alot better!

Chapter 3:

“What!?”

I said as everyone turned there attention to me. I started becoming nervous, I
didn’t want to be a chosen one. I kept saying “no, it can’t be true” to myself but as
I looked at everyones eyes, staring at me with wonder I started to realize it was
true, I was the chosen one.

“You young boy, are him.”

“No!, are you sure?”

“Yes... it is you...”

Desperatly trying to draw attention away from myself I shouted...

“What about the Mudokon!”

For a moment everyone took their eyes off me and stared at the limp body of a
Mudokon. The prophet stared at me for a couple more seconds then returned his
gaze to the injured Mudokon. I watched in awe as he put his hand over the chest of
the Mudokon and closed his eyes. He started chanting quietly to himself, and I
noticed instantly that all the wounds on the Mudokon where disappearing. After
about ten seconds all the wounds where gone but there where still some bruises.

“We need to get this one some water.” said the prophet,

Everyone started whispering to themselvs as a couple of other slaves went off to
retrieve some water. Noticing my window of escape ready, I quietly snuck away to
a quiet part of the prison cell. I looked at my birthmark angerly and started to ask
myself why? Then out of rage I desperatley tried to scratch my birthmark off, as I
did I started to feel a stinging on the claw I was scratching my birthmark with and
quickly pulled it away. But the stinging didn’t stop, it just grew more and more
until I couldn’t bear it.

“Trying to get rid of the mark I see.”

I quickly looked up and when I did the stinging instantly stopped. But the stinging
was the least of worries at that moment, I was staring into the face of the prophet.

“I know it’s scary, not knowing if you can live up to the name of a legend, not
knowing if you can be a good leader. Trust me, if my prophecies are correct you
should be a perfect leader. But if you want to change history you must listen to
what I tell you and do it when I tell you, the choice is yours, do you want to be a
hero? or be a slave for the rest of your life?”

I paused thinking.

“Well... do you?”

I didn’t know what to do. I was so confused, what made me special. There were
plenty of other better, stronger, and wiser characters than me... heck even Blitz my
best friend was stronger than me.

“Will Blitz be able to travel with me?”

“Son... that is up to you. If he does travel with you there will be much more
tougher choices in the future.”

When the prophet said that millions more questions went through my head. I
started to sweat and the pain in my left arm began again, it instantly started
growing stronger and stronger untill I wanted to scream! But... when I looked at
the prophet once more the pain went away, and I quickly started to calm down.

“ Well boy, you must make the decision now and quickly. Do you or do you not
want become a leader, lead a rebellion, and possibly change history forever...?”

“Yes!” I said without thinking

“Good, then you must do exactly what I say, and do it fast!”

Please respond and tell me what you think of my story!!!
__________________
..I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace; but the shop owner and his son, that's a different story all together...I had to beat them to death with their own shoes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRSHXhJzsY

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  #7  
07-22-2001, 11:55 PM
BigBroSig
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I think it's wonderful! I don't mean to rush you, but you should post two chapters at a time!
__________________
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Live Life In The ØÐÐ Lane!

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  #8  
07-23-2001, 12:17 AM
BigBroSig
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: Jun 2001
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I think it's wonderful! I don't mean to rush you, but you should post two chapters at a time!
__________________
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Live Life In The ØÐÐ Lane!

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