You're going to do hey with the whatnow? Dining tool? Fair enough. I suppose "tool" and not "utensil" would mean you intend to use something such as a corkscrew.
I shall never open wine with the same thoughts of glee and happyness again. (unless it's linux, in which case I'll open wine and mutter something about windows not being very good... so there never will be thoughts of glee - oh woe is me!)
Actually if I'm honest, the most I think about while I'm opening wine, is something along the lines of: "shit... if this froths up then my carpet will be screwed... I better not get pissed on this otherwise I won't be able to walk to the toilet, then the carpet will be really screwed! ... ... why do they make corks so hard to pull off?". Not really much of romantic notion is it - I think I prefer the thoughts of glee, even though it is total BS.
Uh, oh yes of course. Hello.
EDIT: I see CB still likes people to think of her as "older". Come on CB, we all know you're really 9 years old.