Just move this to RPG if it belongs there ok Mods? It'll be ok.
This is a join in adventure about the final war for oddworld between, of course, mudokons and glukkons.
Please at least TRY to step in at the right time
example for GOOD place to step in:Alex looked up and was suprised to see....
example for BAD place to step in:Alex was busy fighting in the battle and noticed (blah blah blah) was in trouble. He rushed over and asked if he/she was ok (its a bad place to step in because the person he is talking to has to reply first)
Ok lets start!
Chapter 1: The first Arrival
Lance was busy trainning in the woods with a dummy slig that really shot at you thanks to an expensive upgrade he had bought.
He was jumping from tree limb to tree limb, trying to find an opening to jump at. He defelcted a bullet with his sword and jumped at it. He was hit in the shoulder but ignored the pain and slashed. He hit the ground,and they both just stayed in place. 5 seconds later, the dummy slig fell in half and exploded. Then it was Lance's turn to fall. He blacked out and hit the ground.
3 Hours Later
Lance woke up and was suprised to be next to fire, laying down. He looked up and saw a bleary figure through his half-consious eyes. He couldn't make the shape out but he could tell it wasn't going to attack. Still half-concious, he heard it introduce itself.
Step in now whoever...
WILL BE CONTIUED BY ME TOMMOROW IF SOMEONE REPLYS
Rate the beginning some on please on scale on 1 to 10
The War To End All Wars
ok then, lets see
Ok,on a scale from 1-10 I give your story a...(9).
! Well thanks for letting me reveiw the intro.of your story.
