ODDWORLD: inthe beginning(the muddokon bible)

[Abeguy]

hay! here it is! the mudokon bible(the real question is if the mudokons already have a bible) this is going to be a bunch of great(and not so great) stories! here we goooo!



in the beginning ODD created the skies and the brown stuff they call dirt that you walk on.after he and/or she made all that fancy stuff, ODD made thae animals that walk the world as we know(exapt that he got rid of the meeches after RF was built. ohwell. and after the animals, he made the great and all powerfull Shrykull,but after the shrykull,he got tired of it and split it into the two main animal species on oddworld,Paramite and scrabs. he liked that, but he noticed that the species were to dumb. so he created the first mudokon,BIG NOSE, the first mudokon, but he was lonely, so the japenese got mad and tore off his fourth finger and made it into the first lady mudokon.then he found two fungis and turned them into glukkons and vykkers, interns and sligs, and all the other industrial creatures, exept for the sligs, who were going to be native till the glukkons came and beat them up. after that, he went to hawaii and fell asleep, for about, oh say, about a hundred years. and then, when he came back, he saw they're proggress, and he was the opposite of mad Sound ODD? good, oh, and by the way,yu can give me some tips

[wtfz]

Look out. The Christian Crusaders are coming to slay you because you mocked the Bible. Run while you still can.

[Dipstikk]

good point. Alot of people could take offense at this.

[Abeguy]

okay, i used the beginning like the christian bible, but the other stories are going to be alot different like there isn't going to be a jonah like figure, and the only savior type figure is abe! (beacause that's the way it is in the story line) Sorry christian crusaders for mocking the BEGINNING of your bible! don't worry i know how you feel (sorta) Because I"M a messiah believeing JEW!!! BELIEVE ME! I'm no atheast (exept for math,cause math is a religion! )Well Peace out! oh yeah, sorry!

[Splat]

I'm a Christian and I thought it was good, I didn't take offence, in fact I used to plan to do something like this before untill I realised I could only come up with 2 good stories (Dave and the oversized Slig and Joshua and the walls of Jherico!)

[Abeguy]

HE HE!
now back to work.
okay, i may use some bible stories but not much


Story 2:
the first mudokon family

well, the first muds got more madly in love than any muds after that, and they and had about 12 kids (don't ask me how thay did that) and their names were Sam, Big face, herald, george lopez, drew carrey, ray ramano, hehehohohi, eight, great, nate, hate ,and fate. they grew up to be mutants with special powers( all exept for sam, but sam was the only one who could have tons and tons of babies(poor girl ) well, after they grew up and moved away more muds popped up and populated ODDWORLD . big face started a school of religion and chanting. sam started a nursing home. and the rest starded their own sitcoms and others. Soon ODDWORLD was populated with muds every where. Some people were actully glad when Magog Cartel came and killed alot of Muds, they said they liked the peace and quiet. oh well. industry marches on.

ODD, huh?

[Abe16]

I'm a christain and I thought that was good but my dad is too and he said I could read it.

[Abeguy]

well, this topic ain't getting any youger! let's get to work



Story 3: Drew carrey and the big moter powered surf board that he used to survive whe ODD flooded the world with Dr. Pepper



you know about drew carrey? one of the first kids? well he is the only noah type figure in this whole bunch of stories(i know i said there wouldn't be but then it would be having a big gap in it so there) well, back to the story. well carrey was relaxing looking at the native sligs playing in the background, not knowing they'd helpwithe the plot of enslaving his species, well, while he did that he heard a voice in his head."drewwwww...drewwwww...".
"yeah, what?" drew said, not knowing he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
"do you like Dr. Pepperrrrr....?"
"yeah, why"
"causeeeee...., i'm going to flood the world with it tomorrowwww..."
"cool, can't wait" drew said
"for that occasion i'm going to give you a....a.....uhhhhh...."
"yeah?, what?"
"a.... oh yeahhhhhh...., a gigantic engine powered surf baord, cause my cousin used the only ark on his little human raceeee"
"cool, but why?"
"causeee..., you're going to save your race from the flood"
"why?, they can die. they deserve it" *rolls eyes*
"than i'll choose another mud to do it"
"NO!!! i'll do it. i will, i will "*sighs*"what for?"
"cause i've seen and heard sin in our world"
"join the club" drew says
"so you and your family are going to get on the surf board and also two of each species here on oddworld"
"fine, whatever" Drew says sarcasticly
So, the next day, drew gets his family on the board and two of each specie on OW. for a year and a day, they floated away till the yougest son comes to drew withe a mouthful of dirt."where'd you get that?" drew asked
"i found it in the engine when we snagged on a hill. it tastes good!"
"cool, now you go pl... WHAT??? a hill? when was that?"
"just now"
" YAY!!! we made it!!!" all the DP went down!"
So they got off and started a new population. and Drew and his family never drank DP again. that's why there is'nt DP on OW.




Phew! *wipes sweaty brow* i did it! ODD huh? well, hope you liked it!

[Abe16]

Ha ha ha ha that was funny I do like Dr. Pepper!

[Zach Roy Wilson]

yeah me too it's yummy

[Sal the Mudokon]

This is strange as ****. If I did this, I would probably try to do it a bit more seriously, but it's still entertaining. It's sad, though, that there are still people who think Christians can't take a joke. Pathetic.

[Zach Roy Wilson]

Long live the Mudokon Bible, brother!

[Zach Roy Wilson]

Might I suggest that the devil could be called Magog.

[Abeguy]

good idea! zach!



story 4:how SPAM was created (a.k.a.) the beginning of MAGOG!


you know Ray Ramano? one of the first mud kids? well he had disease called i-have-a-evil-side-that-is-waiting-to-get-out-ticulotus. now, ray didn't know that, but the only way that it could get out was looking and eating SPAM!!! freaky huh?.well, ray did know that.(how could know it would let his evil side out if he didn't even know he had an evil side??? to tell the truth... i dunno,but he did. now the evil side was itching to get out but it couldn't do it unless he didn't know it . (kinda un-fair to all the people who want it out, huh?). so the only way to do that was to do it when he was asleep! that's right!, sleepwalk!!! well when ray was asleep, his evil side made him sleepwalk to the fridge were he made Ray put all sorts of meats into blender and soon after, he had created SPAM!!! and when Ray woke up he rubbed his eves and noticed that he wasn't in his room! he was in the depths of hell themselves
!!! he saw all the evil muds fall into the firery fires of DOOM64!!!, but instead of feeling pity on them, like usual, he laughed out loud MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! HE WAS MAGOG!!!!


to be continued.....

[Splat]

Cool!

[Abeguy]

yeah, but ya know whats weird? the first time i wrote it down, it said i had to much oddicons and such weird huh?



story 5:
the first sign of industry
(i'm going to make this short)


well, one day Fate made fate come true (it was his name so i thought it could be what he did) well, one day he was walking down the streets of pangedos (they didn't seperate into mudos, sligos, glukkos, vyddos, and so on) well, he was walking and his freind (who was a glukkon) jumped out and yelled tag! your it! "STOP!" Fate said
"what?" he said
"i'm getting to old for this" he said
"oh, sorry" the gluk said.
"hey! i got a idea! lets go hunting!" Fate said
"okay!" the gluk said (the gluks name was dripuk)
so they went hunting and killed some scrabs.
"Hey!" Dripuk said
"what?" Fate asked
"lets make a shack and sell the food!" he said
"okay" Fate said
" i can see it now" Dripuk imagined "Ruptre shack"
"yeah!" Fate said " we can call these scrab cakes!
"scrab cakes!,yea... Cakes? why cakes?" he asked.
"cause i'll make my famous meatloaf with them" Fate declared
"ahhh" Dripuk said "after that we'll go after Paramites!"
"sure" Fate said "Paramite meat pies or PP for short"
"PP?*starts to laugh* Fate, we're making a meat shack, not a toilet store. lets call them for short Paramite pies"
"sure, and we sell meech muchies"
"munchies eh? catchy!"
So they went home and built the shack. soon it got bigger that they had a building and changed the name to "Ruptre Farms". soon after, they had a factory and used mud workers (with a fine pay) to cook and butcher the meat. about twenty years later, Dripuk killed Fate and turned all the workers into slaves.(but that was way later in the new testoddment) and he captured Sam to make more mud slaves. and that is how the industrial all began.


good huh?

[Abe16]

good huh?

Good?Its better then good its great!make more I'm starting to faint

[Abeguy]

Originally posted by Abe16
Good?Its better then good its great!make more I'm starting to faint

thanx, here i go



story 6:the Shaman buisness

well, big face, who was in his late 20's, started a school for religion and shamendry. well, one of his faved studdents was larry bladder, son of geargia bladder and harry bladder. well, he had a miled down version of what Ray Ramano had. it was the same thing,but he didn't become Magog, because 1: Ray already had it and 2: he wasn't that bad. but thats later in the bible when we get to the good Shamans and the bad ones. well, big face had a school that tought them that. well, one day Fate came over and asked "anyone wan't scrab cakes, paramite pies or meech munchies?".
"sure!" everyone said
"wait!" big face said "everyone here is a vegetarian
"so?" everyone said.
they all turned the scrab cakes and etc. into vegies with the same taste.
"well" bigface said " we are leading away from our lesson"
"no we aren't" they said "we are using shamendry to transform and that was our lesson today".
"well" bigface said "you are right. we were doing that today.
that took so long that the bell rang."remember!" bigface said "do you homework! turn something into another and bring it to scool
tomorrow!"
so the next day they all brought veggitized Ruptre products. funny!

originally posted by Splat
Cool!

please no one word posts. that is considerd spamming

[Splat]

Oh, sorry, that was really really really really... wierd? And funny. Don't stop now, it's really good!

[Abeguy]

i know that my last story wasn't that good cause i was about to go to bed i just sped it up

story 7:
Genisis: the fast food translation (modified to 100% Oddworld)


and odd populated the world with varities of different vegetables so Muddokon and female Muddokon may live long and healthy lives.

and Magog created RF drive through. and RF drive through brought forth the 99 cent double paramite pie. and Magog said to muddokon "you want fries with that?"

and Muddokon said "supersize them" and Muddokon gained pounds.

and odd created the healthful yogurt, so that Female muddokon might keep her figure witch Muddokon found so fair.

and Magog froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colered sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. and Female Muddokon gained pounds.

and odd said "try my crispy green salads"

and Magog brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits and shredded cheese. and there was ice cream for dessert. and Female Muddokon gained pounds.

And odd said " i have sent your heart healthy vegetables
and Olive oil in which to cook them".

and magog brought forth paramite fried steaks from crackle barrel. so big that it needed its own platter. and muddokon gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

and Odd brought forth running shoes and Muddokon resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And magog brought forth cable tv with Remote control so Muddokon would not have to toil with ESPN and ESPN2. and muddokon gained pounds.

and odd said "your'e running up the score, Magog".

and odd brought forth the potato. shipped first class from earth. and vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming in nutrition.

and Magog peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them, and he created sour cream dip also.

and muddokon clutched his remote control and at eht epotato chips. and Magog saw and said, "It is good"

And man went into cardiac arrest.

And odd sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery...

And Magog created Vykkers...