The Quest for the....Can opener?

[tybie_odd]

-- a brown-robed monk with a hood enters the ancient temple of Kesiah, goddess of devine fanfics. Slowly she [can monks be girls?] approaches the alter, and humbly lays a reply on it. Then she prays....--

"Oh Blessed Kesiah, grant your humble reader a bottle of genuine Kesiah Humor, the only humor made of 100% natural liquidized guffaws, with no added colors or preservatives. Thank you. Power-ups to the people, amen."

-- the monk rises and leaves, knowing that good faith will be reawarded in time....with the best-selling genuine Kesiah Humor! Now avaiable in Jumbo size! --

[sO fReAkIn oDd]

I like it. Good story, really funny stuff. Can't wait for more!

[Splat]

Hazzar! A new chapter! Splat pics Kes up. Runs out of room and reurns with large, floppy crown. I present you with the crown of comedy! You are Master of madness, ruler of ridicule, lord of laughter. I also present you with two great gifts, My lucky toothbrush, and the original desighns for an Abe game i created after Abes Exoddus came out. Splat hands Kes a red toothbrush and a very delapidated Abes Exoddus game box full of sheets of A3 paper. Then he bows down in worship at Keses feet...

[Kesiah]

Sweet! Crown!!!
umm...but could I change that to, "Mistress of Madness and lady of laughter"?
*hands out more bottles of Kesiah Humor.*
And I even have my own temple?! cool...I wonder if Kai's jealous...
BTW, if you wanna give me an idea of characters you like, or things you would like to see, then PM me, and I can try to fit them in for you

[Splat]

Sorry,
dont take it personaly, and look after that toothbrush


, is that humour stuff free? i could use it in my story, hey can i hav 300,000,000 bottles, ill make millions sellin it in the street

[Al the Vykker]

I wish I could get these kind of responses to my fan fics, like I used to. Well It seems people like to choose one story that they can follow and forget the rest. a

Anyways before I take any more away from Kes's story, just like to say its still doing great.


-Al the Vykker FC Mod

And P.S. please no one make up some cheesy excuse why you dont reply. Just come on and read some other fan fics.

[Splat]

This is the truth Al, the reason i dont read your fics is caus most of em are seaquals to your past fics which are reALLY LONG. its kind of offputting. Oh, and Al, you only seem to reply to experienced members stories so could you pleaseread some stories by newer members, it would be a real confidence boost and i bet a veteran could offer really useful advise.

Oh, and lady of laughter, is that toothbrush safe?

[Kesiah]

Hey peoples!!
Cause It's close to that wonderful time of year, no, not my birthday, but you can give me presents anyway!
But Chirstmas time!!
Well, for me that means some of our reletives come around, so I won't be able to get a new chapter out to you until after I get all my presents....
Never fear! Do not sink into the depths of oblivion for lack of Humor!
Instead, I bring you this humble offering, even though it's got absolutly nothing to do with the plot.
Note: XXXXL stands for extra, extra, extra, extra large.
--------------

Munch looked around the supermarket. *Why in Odd's name did I agree to this?* He wondered, ushering the next kid into the grotto, while trying desperatly to avoid tripping over the point on his huge, XXXXL elf shoe. *Still, at least I'm not Abe...*
The kid ran inside stood staring at Abe.
Abe was wearing a Santa suit...white beard, red coat, pillow shoved down the front and everything...with his loin cloth still on, not to mention his bare feet sticking out.
The Glukkon kid freaked out and ran away before Abe could give a half-hearted 'Ho ho ho' and hand him a sticky candy cane.
Munch watched him go.
"That's the third one that's done that so far.... I'm not sure if this is working out right." He said.
Abe shrugged. "It could be your Elf suit."
Munch glared at him. "Oh yeah, Santa?"
Abe sighed. "Why did we do this again?"
"Because Kes said she'd do something horrible to us in the next chapter if we didn't." Munch said.
"Worse than the dress?" Ane said, wide eyed.
Munch nodded.
The door opened again, and the girl they were talking about stuck her head in.
"Come-on guys! we're supposed to be making people merry! Plus there's still thousands of kids who want to meet Santa!" Kesiah said.
"Do we have to?" Abe muttered.
"Yes, you do. Now smile, and remember to be jolly this time!" Kes said, opening the door again to admit the next person.
It seemed like a fast moving blur rushed through the doorway and launched itself into Abe's lap, before slowing down into Ben.
"Wow!! You never said you were Santa, Abe! Can I see the reindeer? Is Munch really an elf? How come you can fight all the Glukkons and still get presents around the world at the same time? Is that beard real? Can I have a candy cane too? What's the North Pole like?"
Abe looked strickened at Kesiah.
"You did this on purpose!!"
Kesiah grinned, raising a camera.
"Aww, give us a big smile Abe! And you stand with them Munch. Now all together, CHEESE!"
CLICK!
------------------

Merry Christmas everyone!!
*waves toothbrush around*

[Al the Vykker]

I know I sometimes dont get a chance to read the other stories. But Failure to Comply and Campaign Tour are two orginal stories.

Failure to Comply, is a prequel to the Fallen Temple(my first Fan Fic) so Either one of my current ones you can read before you read the Fallen temple. And your suggestion is well noted thanks for bringing it to my attention. I also would like to apoligize to Kes for having to read through my babbling on in her story topic so dont mind me.

Note please PM me with any questions or concerns you may have I am off from highschool for two and a half weeks.


-Al the Vykker FC Mod

[Splat]

Kes, nice mini story and when do i get my shipment of humor? Can you deliver it to my house, 12, midnight, January 27th, remember, 300,000,001 bottles and you can have 50% of the profits. And Al, I'll try and read your fics.

[Kesiah]

*Mistoffelees walks in. For those who don't know him, he is a big black cat-person with a white face and a white 'bib', he also has a white tail tip, and white 'socks' on his back legs and one white 'sock' on his left arm.*

Misto: *cough* I'm here to inform the readers tha Kesiah's next chapter of 'Quest for the Can Opener' has been delayed, because she's sulking. *gets a ball thrown at him.* Ow! *checks cue cards* Sorry. She is having "creative difficulties", whatever that means.... *mutters* Who writes this garbage...
Also, Splat, we will deliver the bottles, and we will also include some spiffy little bottle openers and cups.
*throws cue cards over shoulder*
I'm out of here!
*dissapears*

[Canned Gabbiar]

"A modern Endeavour!" ~Canned Gabbiar (or whoever said it before)

Boy your fan fic kicks the crap out of mine!

[oddling]

Aw.....poor distraught wittle Kesy...........*barks at Misto and chases him up tree* Why are you sad? Or was it just Misto screwing around with the que cards? *growls at Misto as he hisses* *hands Kesy a bottle of Kesiah humor* Now don't worry, you'll have a good chapter up and running soon, so in the meen time, LET HER ALONE YAH FREAKS!!! There, did Oddling make it all better? Aw. *hugs Kesy and reads her bedtime story*

Oddling l:c l

[Latamire_Munch]

I love your story Kes *crumples up my fanfic and throws it to Misto to play with* I didn't know you wrote this, I just noticed it! I love this, its so funny! I'm gonna start a Kesiah fan club! *mumbles under breath 'yea right I'm too lazy'* COUGH COUGH!! yea, anyways, keep it up!

[Splat]

To cheer you up Kes, i will give you a small taster of my fic, Splat!(remember folks, you saw it here first!)

I watched as 2 sligs got out of the lorry’s cabin. One went and leaned against the front of the lorry and the other leant on the side, just below where I was leaning over to watch.
I suddenly had an idea. I took my backpack off and began to dig through it till I found the food product I wanted.
FIRE FLUMPS
Goodness gracious, burp balls of fire!
I pulled one of the red marshmallows out of the packet and looked over the side of the lorry. The slig below me had an unlighted cigarette in its mouth and was now digging through its pants for something.
I spoke in a low voice: “Wan a light?”
To avoid confusion I’ll call them slig A and slig B.
A: “Yeah, that’d be great.”
B: “What’d be great?”
A: “You offered me a light.”
B: “No I didn’t.”
A: “Yes you did.”
B: “No I didn’t.”
A: “Yes you did.”
B: “Did not.”
A: “Did too.”
B: “Did not.”
A: “Did too.”
B: “Did not.”
A: “Did too.”
B: ”Did not”
I intervened in, my low commanding voice. “You didn’t!”
B: “Thank you.”
A: “What?”
B: “You agreed and said I didn’t
A: “No I didn’t.”
B: “Yes you did.”
I swallowed the fire flump.
A: “No I didn’t.”
B: “Yes you did.”
“I DID!” I screamed, angrily. “AND I OFFERED YOU THE LIGHT. TAKE IT!”
I burped and a bright red fireball flew out of my mouth and over the edge of the lorry. Judging by the scream I’d managed to hit slig A and he’d burst into flames!
A side affect of fire flumps is that you can walk through fire without getting burned or over-heated. I slid down off the lorry behind the fire. I then walked into the fire, called up shred power and walked out the other side where slig B could see me.
“YOU HAVE ANGERED ME!” I roared.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, IT’S THE DEVIL, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The slig was now running around in circles so I stepped a little way into the fire - enough so I could see him but he couldn’t see me.
The slig stopped and stood about a metre in front of the fire, whimpering like an injured sloggie.
I backed away into the fire, paused, then quickly charged forward, leapt out of the fire, then just before I landed, set off shred attack. Pieces of slig went flying everywhere. I stopped shred attack and looked around.
“And that,” I flicked a piece of slig off one of my scrab feet, “is that.”

I hope it cheered you up. Cause if it dont i give up!
Throws Misto a ball of wool and exits stage right.

[Kesiah]

Except for the fact the for some reason the writing wasweird on my browser, I have to move the horizontal bar thingy back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth....
*gets dizzy*
It was pretty kewl, I'll have to drop by and read your fic at some point in time... *makes a note in diary* Much better. Will hopefully get next chapter finished tonight, post it tomorrow.
*watches Mistoffelees play with the paper and wool*

To Oddling: Come-on, deals a deal, I don't pick on your dogs and stuff, and you leave Misto alone.....Also, read the next chapter carefully....you will hopefully find one part familiar.

*begins next chapter, throwing scrunched up paper from bad ideas to Misto*

[Splat]

The same left write thing happened on my PC when i put that there. But why? is there something wrong with me *starts dancing around the room like an agitated monkey*
Can't wait for the next chapter! Im on the edge of my seat! And may i introduce my pet, CHARLIE! The pet rock that came flying through my window last Friday!

<-Charlie with styicker eyes and pencil mouth

[Kesiah]

*Drags Misto out from where he was hiding*
Kes: Come-on! You promised you would help me with this!
Misto: No, I promised I would help you on the CATS forum!
Kes: Same thing!
Misto: I'm not going to and you can't make me!!
Kes: Fine! Next time I'm gonna do a CATS/Monty Python crossover! See how you like that!
Misto: You wouldn't....I take it back...you would. Ok, ok, I'll help...
Kes: Wooot! *hugs Misto* You guys read on....and please take the complimentary bottles of humor while your here!
----------------------

*Stupid Fuzzles.* Abe thought, glaring back at the critters behind him. *Odd knows why Munch likes them.* Abe still hadn't been able to find Munch in this stupid place, but the amount of Fuzzles were building up steadily, as well as the amount of Intern bodies. *So much for stopping the Fuzzles. Munch had so better not be dead! Or I'll kill him!*
Rounding a corner, Abe found himself face to face with the Vykker he had met earlier. *If he sees the Fuzzles, I'm dead!* Abe thought, trying not to panic.
"Hiya, big guy." Abe squeaked in his best 'I'm-pretending-to-be-a-girl' voice, and fluttered his eyelashes for good measure.
The Vykker's reaction was instantaneous. "Hello, little...... lady, what are you looking for on this fine day?"
Abe swallowed, he needed to keep the Vykker distracted, while the Fuzzles made a break for a hiding place.
"Why, I'd thought I'd take you up on that 'fitting', handsome." Abe said, desperately trying to remember how Queenie had acted around him. You had to turn your body like this, put your arms here, then smile and hope you didn't fall over.
The Vykker grinned, took Abe's arm and lead him towards a nearby doorway.
"Don't worry, my dear. I know exactly what I'm doing..."
-----------------------------

"Munch?"
"What is it now, Ben?" Munch said irritably.
"Have you noticed how quiet I'm being? Did you think maybe I'd disappeared I was so quiet? I think that the Sligs are scared of us, they keep running away! How come your bashing your head against the wall? Doesn't it hurt?"
*Not as much as listening to you does...* Munch thought, around beatings.
"It *thud* helps *thud* me *thud* to *thud* stop *thud* from *thud* doing *thud* bad *thud* things!" He said, then stopped hitting the wall.
"What kind of bad things? Is it like when you zapped that guard? What about when you got those Slogs? I don't think those are bad, Munch. If you didn't do it, then the Slogs would have killed us! So how come you think you're gonna do something bad? I know! Are you gonna try and steal some cookies?"
Munch looked back hopefully at the other Mudokons, but they seemed to be ignoring both Ben and himself, and quiet happy that Ben was leaving them alone. The sound of running feet interrupted Munch's thoughts of horrible things happening to Ben, and quickly revealed a running Slig, carrying something.
"Here we go again..." Munch muttered, preparing to zap the Slig.
The Slig raced up to the group, before screeching to a halt in front of Munch, and presenting him with......a coconut?
"Goo goo gajoob!" The Slig yelled in Munch's face, threw a few sticks at him, grabbed the coconut, and ran off.
Munch rubbed his head from where the sticks had connected.
"That was weird. Lets keep going, and hope that that Slig doesn't come back." He said to the Mudokons, leading the way to another corridor.
---------------------------

*I wonder if you can die of embarresment.* Abe thought, scratching his butt for the fourth time in two minutes. The 'fitting' had involved one of those bra things, except made of lacy stuff, that itched like hell, which was filled with something that made Abe's chest look like someone had stuck a couple of melons there, though, and Abe shuddered at this, the Vykker had seemed pleased. But the worse one, the thing that was causing Abe to scratch a lot was some thing the Vykker had given him, Abe had insisted that he put it on by himself, called a......what was it? A Gee-string? That sounded about right. The continuous laughter of the Fuzzles wasn't helping either.
Abe paused to scratch his butt again. At least he'd learned one thing, Munch wasn't on board the Labs. He'd let slip about hearing that there was a Gabbit on board, and the Vykker had been so preoccupied with the 'bra' that he'd told Abe that they didn't have any Gabbits anywhere.
*I'm taking these stupid Fuzzles and getting out of here, stuff Munch and his stupid can opener!* Abe thought angrily.
He would have taken off the dress and other things by now, except that he had the feeling that he would need to be cut out of them.
*I really hope you're alive Munch, because I want to kill you when I see you!*
-------------------------

"Munch?"
"What!!"
"There's a scary Glukkon ahead. Do you think he's after us? What if he's the devil!!" Ben said, his fear actually causing him to say less than normal.
Munch peeked around the corner and had to admit that the Glukkon ahead of them could easily be the devil, with the dark suit and shoes with red flames and bits of, was that metal?, through his anatomy. But before Munch could suggest that they find a safer route, the Glukkon turned and saw him.
"Dude...." The Glukkon muttered, and Munch noticed a sweet smelling cigarette in the Glukkon's mouth, the smell alone made Munch's head spin.
"A Gabbit...." The Glukkon said. "Hello mister Gabbit, my name is....is....." Munch blinked as the Glukkon thought for a moment.
"Errrr.....I've forgotten. Got too many names you know. The others call me 'That One' behind my back." That One muttered, then coughed hoarsely.
"Uhhh...Don't worry about me..." Munch said, wondering if he should attack or run away. This Glukkon was too freaky to be normal, maybe it was sick or something, but it scared the @&#$ out of him!
"Don't worry Gabbit, you're just a figment of my imagination....cause of this stuff." That One waggled the cigarette in his mouth. "No body understands...they think I'm weird on purpose...but it's these numbers in my head...they don't leave me alone! Numbers, numbers everywhere, but not a drop to drink..."
Munch stared some more, obviously the Glukkon was a raving lunatic.
"Do. You. Know. Where. Abe. Is?" Munch said, slowly and clearly, so that the lunatic would understand.
"He's not here..." That One said, and had another coughing fit. "He was never here....Just some other Mud dressed up to look like him... Stupid plan if you ask me..."
Munch scowled and hopped off, leaving the Glukkon to explain his plans for world domination to the empty room.
*If Abe's not here, then I'm not looking anymore! I'm taking this lot to the nearest bird portal and leaving! The villagers can deal with them, and Ben!!* Munch thought angrily, and headed in the direction that would hopefully lead to a bird portal.
-----------------------


Misto: Can you let go now....I can't breath....
Kes: awwwww......
Ben: What are you two doing? What is he? How come you don't look like me? What are you two? Why do you have those on your chest?
Kes: .........Why did I invent him?
Misto: Don't look at me....

[Splat]

Is it possible to die of laughter? Cause if it is, i should be in hospital right now!
Im running out of presents! How about this? *hands Misto a peice of paper.* Now take that to the misstress of madness and don't read it on the way. *Misto runs round corner and unfolds the paper* Hey I hear the sound of unfolding paper! Dont make me get my shotgun! *Misto shrugs and runs off with the paper.*

And dont ask me whats on it cause i haven't decided yet!


Edit:

I got the humour! Its great stuff, *Glugs down a bottle of Kesiah humour then starts rolling about the floor in total histerics!*

but Kes why aren't you writin? Ive got Mist for ransom! 1 chapter for 1 magic cat! Hey, whered he go? I hate it when he does his vanishing act! Here, misto misto misto, ive got some flavour enhanced fish for you!
And you Kesiahs fans, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, a whole new chapter and im the only one to reply! You call yourselves fans!

[M.A.]

keep up thee good work

wanna know the end (if any)

[Kesiah]

Ack! I'd better write some more, or never see Mistoffelees again!! *Screams 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!' at the top of her lungs*
Though I haven't been around much, mIRC won't let me into Oddchat, and the chat page doesn't work for me for some reason. So I can't see my Oddworld friends.

[Splat]

Here, Misto, Misto, misto,
HEY, CLOSE THAT DOOR YOU IDIOT!
Ben: Why Splat, why do i have to close the door? And why are you hiding in a giant wherhouse in the middle of ________? And why is it so cold in here? And why are you slowly moving towards me with your fists clenched? And why are you turning red? And why are you turning in to a shrykall? And why is Mistofylees hiding in this crate? And why are you turning back in to a human? And why are you tying me and mistofylees together? and what are you doing with that camera?
Splat: Ok Kes, now i have 2 hostages! I WANT A CHAPTER! HA HA HA!
Ben: What are-
Misto: Oh, for the love of Odd, SHUT UP!!!

[oddling]

LMAO!!!! Sorry I haven't replied in a while, I didn't notice you made a new chapter. Lol. Thats the best chapter yet! Is that weirdo slig supposed to be me? Aw, thats sweet! *hugs Kesy until she pops* Err....Well....the only thing I can give you for now is this. It's origionally a comic i drew of my neopets. Hope you like it!

Freefall: Are those burgers done yet?!!
Caoltie:*doing stuff at grill* Hang on a sec! Perfection takes time!
Freefall:*a few minutes later* Yay! I'm starved! *tries to take bite out of burger*
Hamburger:Moo
Freefall:Huh?!
Hamburger:Moo
Freefall:*stares at hamburger* I think Caoltie under cooked my burger a little!

Lol, hope you like it Kesy!

PS:Everyone at oddchat misses you Kesy! We hope you get mirc working soon! : (

Oddling l:c l

[Kesiah]

It's 12:40am, I have worked 10hrs at KFC today. I am slightly hyper from lack of sleep, plus Pepsi. So I wrote a chapter.
...........
That sounds pretty bad, even to me. Anyway, I want my Mistoffelees back!!! You can keep Ben though......
*grabs Misto, posts chapter, then dives behind a peice of scenery with Misto in tow.* Heheheheh.......
-----------------

*Finally....a bird portal. Abe can look after himself, I'm outta here!* Munch thought grimly, hopping determinably towards the portal, the rescued Mudokons dutifully following behind, Ben talking all the way.
"Munch, are we just gonna leave Abe behind? What if he's injured, or hurt, or in trouble? What if...."
"BEN! Abe is fine! He's not even in this factory. I'm sure he's back at the village, wondering where we all are. And hurt and injured mean the SAME THING!!" Munch yelled. All this fuss about the can opener was getting to him. He had a headache, and with a head the size of Munch's....well, lets just say it wasn't pretty.
"Do you really think that Abe is in the village? Do you think he's got a can opener with him? Is my brother there? Can I have something to eat when we get there?" Ben continued, oblivious to the definite signs of annoyance coming from Munch.
"Bet you five Moolah that Munch kills him in the next sentence." One of the liberated Mudokons whispered.
"But we don't have any Moolah." He friend said.
"Well, bet you...something."
"I don't think he will anyway. Ben's been talkin' for ages, and he hasn't done anything yet."
"Will you please [i]SHUT UP{/i]?!" Munch snapped. "I'm trying to open the portal here!"
"Abe could do it, even if we were talking." One of the Muds objected.
*That's it!* Munch thought. He gathered up all the Spooce he had with him, and practically rammed it into the shape of the portal.
"All right, everybody through, now!" Munch snarled, causing the Muds to leap for the supposed safety of the village.
"You better have my can opener Abe...." Munch muttered, and hopped through the portal.
-----------------------------------------

"Look, is there some reason why you guys keep biting me?!" Abe asked the Fuzzles. Still clad in his 'disguise', with it's interesting under garments, Abe had been leading the Fuzzles in the search for some way off the floating lab, but so far it had proven fruitless.
"How did Munch get out of this place?" Abe muttered to himself.
"What's it doing now?" One Fuzzle said, though Abe wasn't paying that much attention to the subtitles, and didn't notice.
"I think it's trying to leave." Another commented.
"Doesn't it know it's going the wrong way?" Fuzzle one said.
"It's stupid. Maybe we should help. Then we can go some place nice." A third Fuzzle join the conversation.
"Ok, I'll lead it, but only cause it's dumb." The first Fuzzle sighed.
Abe looked down as one of the Fuzzles made a few little noises at him and looked expectant.
"Cute little guy aren't you?" He said, lifting the Fuzzle up. "Wonder if they make good pets..."
The Fuzzles gave it's equivalent of a sigh, and bit Abe of the hand.
"OWWWWWWW!!" Abe yelled. "Why you....! Come back here!" He snarled, and began to chase the Fuzzle down the hallways.
After a long chase, Abe rounded a corner in time to see the Fuzzle entering a round room.
"Gotcha!" He said, following it in with the other Fuzzles. As Abe reached down for the Fuzzle, the floor suddenly decided to slid into the walls, and they all became fast friends with gravity.
"Oh, @&#%$!" Abe said, before plunging towards the ground.
---------------------------------------
Munch looked around the small clearing where he and the others had arrived.
"There's the village. Go, knock yourselves out." He muttered to the Muds. Then seeing the confused expressions, he yelled, "It's just a saying! I mean, go and have a look around. Bug someone else for a change."
All the Muds left, except for Ben. Looking him over, Munch said.
"What in Odd's name do you want?"
Ben opened his mouth to answer, but Munch didn't hear, because at that precise moment, he was hit with a plummeting Abe.
---------------------------------------

"Munch? Are you dead? Can you hear me if your dead? What's it like to be dead? Is Odd nice?"
*Why me?* Munch thought. *Why did I have to be the one who found him?*
Munch opened his eyes and looked up into the concerned face of Abe (he'd managed to get the Fuzzles to eat the dress and other things off him), and the identically colored face of Ben, whose mouth was still moving.
"Why didn't they stitch his lips up too!" Munch moaned.
Ben blinked and looked at Abe. "They said it was 'cause my mouth moved too much for the Vykker to get the needle in." He said. "Wow! Are you really Abe? Can I see you turn Shrykull? What about chanting? Do your lips hurt?....."
Abe rolled his eyes. "He's been like this for the whole time you were out. Did you find a can opener?"
Munch growled softly. "So, neither of us found one! I'm never gonna be able to hatch the eggs, am I?"
Abe sighed. "I'm sorry Munch. At least we rescued some Muds and Fuzzles. I know, let's find Ben's brother, and then we can get some tea from Alf's Rehab. Maybe he has some ideas."
Munch muttered a little, but agreed. "How are we gonna find Ben's brother?" He asked.
"Well, seeing as the Almighty Raisin is probably still working off that Expresso, we won't be too welcome there. So I guess we can ask the Shaman."
"What about that Big Face dude?" Munch said.
Abe's face went suddenly blank. "Let's not." He said.
Munch shrugged, and followed Abe to a nearby Shaman circle. *Funny how these things turn up everywhere...* Munch thought.
The Shaman appeared instantly, and grinned when he saw the trio.
"I knew you guys would come through! The Raisin wasn't so sure, but I told him, 'This is Abe and Munch, they're destined to be great guys, if I help them that is', so he let me keep and eye on you guys and...."
Ben's eyes widened. "You're my brother!" He exclaimed, for once not asking questions.
"Ben?!" The Shaman said. "Wow! You guys found my kid brother! You really are great, better, if I can help you in the future, but still ok. Who'd have thunk it? My kid brother!"
Abe and Munch were so happy for the pair, they immediately tried to run away and leave them to be alone, but as luck would have it, Ben and the Shaman joined them in Alf's Rehab.
"Whada you guys want?" Alf asked the four, listened to their orders, and gave them what ever he had made up at the time.
"So," Alf said, joining the group. "Where you guys been all day?"
"Looking for a can opener." Munch sighed.
"What for?"
"Because I need to open my Gabbiar!!" Munch wailed.
Alf looked confused for a moment, then reached under the table and pulled out a hand operated can opener.
"You only had to ask." He said.
Abe looked at Munch, who was on the verge of turning red, looked at Alf, then hid under the table.
Munch concentrated, getting ready to zap Alf into a blackened, char-grilled Mud steak, then stopped.
"Ben? Shaman?" He said, a trace of satisfaction in his voice. "Alf here's gonna let you guys spend the night at his place. Have fun!"
Munch grabbed Abe, and the two fled the Rehab while Alf was still trying to figure out what was going on.
-------------------------------------

*sticks head out from scenery peice* You're still here? Well, I still have to write the Epilouge thingy, so It should be in a day or two.
Oh yeah, mIRC, I have to secure secure the open proxy on your router or have my network administrator do so, who ever the hell that is.....
Seriously, the whole idea of simple help with step by step instructions has kinda died. What ever happened to "Click this button, enter this information, press enter..." Type solotuions?
Maybe I'm getting old...

[Rich]

What a cool story. Shame I never read it before now. Anyway it was great, real funny!

[Splat]

It's ended! Oddworlds funniest adventure ever has ended!
On a lighter note, , this was one of the funniest and weirdist chapters ever! who would have thought Bens's brother was the shaman?! wwell, i guess they where both anoying, and no really very that bright!
Ben: hey Splat, are you saying I'm stupid? Don't you like me? Am i really annoying? doesn't anyone love me? Doesn't anyone care?!
Splat: No!!! ... Exept maybe that giant heard of scrabs over there! Why don't you go and ask them? I'm sure theyed love you to stay for dinner! They'll be fightin over you!
Ben: Really?
Splat: Yeah, of cource!
Ben: Yay! Thanks Splat. See ya later1
Splat: Yeah, see ya!...
Sheesh, and i thought Munch was anoying! (read my story, splat for more info)

Oh well, back to the point: we'll all miss this story Kes, hope you write another one soon! Bye!
And oh yeah, TAKE CARE OF THAT TOOTH BRUSH!!!

[Dipstikk]

LOL!! I just read the story. Hi-freakin'-larious! I laughed until I dropped on the Floor (Literally!)

Edit: I found something interesting. That can of Gabbiar....

...Has a pulltab.


Munch:.......A.....Pulltab?
Abe: N-Now, Munch, heh...old compodre...let's not do anything hasty...
Munch: You mean to tell me that our whole quest was in VAIN?! BECAUSE OF A PULLTAB?!
(Munch pulls out a spontanious chainsaw from his back)
Abe: RUNNN!!!
Munch: (Foaming at the mouth) YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Edit 2: ...Or does it? Upon further inspection, I saw that the Gabbiar can does NOT have a Pulltab. I thought it was like a can of sardines. THOES have pulltabs. Even so, I thought it would be funny to add a dash of irony to the situation.

[Kesiah]

Hey! I'm not done yet! I've still got the Epilouge to write, though it won't be too long, it has some 'interesting' bits in it.....
Then, there's always a sequal.......
Misto: uh oh....
Abe: What do you mean, 'uh oh'?
Misto: I've seen her eyes go like that before......
Munch: ........I think I remember......
Misto: RUN! RUN FOR YOU LIVES!!
Kes: Glad to know I'm loved...... *sigh*

[Splat]

You mean there's more...?

WAHOO!!!

[Kesiah]

Here it is, the last part of Quest.... *sniff* I had fun writing it, and I'm gonna miss it.
Abe, Munch and Co: We're not!!
Kes: ........ *plots revenge*
------------------

Abe sighed, glad that this whole thing was finally over. He watched as Munch hopped off to be alone when he finally got to open his precious can. *Ahh well, back to business.* Abe thought, and made his way to his hut.
Inside, he opened a small laptop with internet connection, and pulled up Oddlook Express, his e-mail program.
Abe spent the next few hours typing up a brief copy of the events that occurred in that day, then when to click on the name 'Lorne Lanning', but hesitated.
"Nah, I don't think he'll believe this story." Abe muttered. He moved the list down, highlighted 'Kesiah' and pressed send.
"Hope the fans like it....."
----------------------

Several months later....

Abe wandered down to the pond that Munch had decided to live in.
*The eggs should have hatched by now.* He thought. *Wonder how Munch is going with all them baby Gabbits?*
The Gabbit in question was looking over the pond, and when Abe approached, he could hear Munch talking.
"Ok, 76, there's number 77, wait, that's number 45! ARGH! Now I have to start over. 1, 2, 3, 4.....Hold still! How am I supposed to keep track of you, if you won't hold still!!" Munch screamed at the swimming Gabbits.
"Problem Munch?" Abe asked.
Munch scowled at him. "I'm fine, but how do I know if anyone's missing? they won't hold still long enough for me to count them!"
Abe thought about this. "Uhhhh......Maybe if you put something on them to make them all look different?"
"That won't work! Hang on.....Have you got a permanent marker?"
----------------------

Munch grabbed up a Gabbit, and used the marker to write a big '23' on it's head, then put it back in the water.
"Only another 127 to go.." He muttered. In the pool, 23 Gabbits with big numbers on the backs of their heads swam around happily.
"After that, I just have to worry about when they start to talk......"
-------------------

Misto runs out, holds up a card that reads: It's finally over!!
Kes: *sniff* That's it...Quest is...gone....