And now, back to the regularly scheduled programme.
This year’s celebrations are sponsored by Frosties! Mmmmmmm, they taste great!
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Hello, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this year’s celebrations of the Oddworld Forums Awards X. Tonight we come together to pay tribute to the best and worst members on this most prestigious of forums. We must also reflect on the fact that this is the tenth ceremony to be held and marks a milestone in forum history. Once the awards are announced, we will also look back at the good times and the bad times in the forum archives, giving you a chuckle and maybe even bringing a tear to your eye.
Cue music as STM walks on stage...
Allow me to briefly introduce myself. I’m sure many of you are familiar with who I am but for those who aren’t, I am STM and tonight I will be your most humbled host. I am afraid that Wired, our usual presenter, cannot be with us tonight. Although he has not officially declared a reason for his absence, we can only assume that a severe bout of short term memory loss has caused him some confusion as to who he is and what the awards are.
Now, before we begin, I would like to momentarily ask you to consider those people who are less fortunate than ourselves, those people who cannot call such a forum as this home. I ask therefore that you donate to our chosen charity for tonight: the Sonic Forum Trust Fund. Donating just £2 tonight could keep a deluded fan boy in stock of new material for a month. Every penny is greatly appreciated.
Now, without further ado, I bring you, the awards!
The Categories
Best Thread Creator
Best Blogger
Greatest Debator
Fan Corner Suite
Best Oddworld Artist
Best Non-Oddworld Artist
Best Writer
And a new award: Most Insular Member. I.e, the member who leaves the confines of the Fan Corner the least, bless their corrupted souls.
Funniest Poster
Most Unintentionally Funny Poster
Most Meaningful Poster
Most Underrated Poster
Best Advice Giver
Member with the Greatest Oddworld Knowledge
Best New Comer
Most Welcome Return
Best Veteran
Dearly Missed Member
Most Liked
Most Eccentric
Most Annoying
Most Accomplished Troll
Best Couple
Most Dedicated Member
Member in Dire Need of a Life
Best Staff Member
Member Who’d Make a Good Moderator
The Oddworld Forums Unofficial Mascot
Most Valuable Poster (MVP)
And tonight, a new category has been drawn up: Most Changed Member. For better or for worse, which member has changed their self the most over this year?
By way of nominal explanation, all votes should be cast based on the activity of 2012 alone! Best New Comer and Most Welcome Return should have started posting/returned last year. Dearly Missed Member should not have posted at all in 2011, or since. Members qualify as veterans if they started posting prior to 2007.
Procedure and Rules
Procedure is the same as it always has been. No nominations and no applications, just vote for which members you think are most deserving of each award by posting them here. Whereas in the past you have been able to private message the host with your choices, this year will not be following in that trend. For your vote to be counted, you must post in this thread and this thread alone! You don't have to vote on every single category, and you can submit more than one member per category if you really, really cannot decide between two or three members.
There is to be:
No voting for yourself, and no telling other members whom to vote for, whether that's you or someone else. Anyone who breaks these two rules will be given to our feral moderator, Nexy, who will put things up your butt.
Furthermore, contravening of any rule is punishable by elimination of your eligibility to partake in the receiving of any awards.
Voting starts right away and will continue for 3 weeks so the results will be posted on the 20th January 2013. Don't post updates of who's winning what and how many votes such-and-such person has. If you spoil the surprise I will personally hunt you down and end your miserable, insignificant life.
Enjoy and happy voting!
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Oh yeah, fair point. Maybe he was just tortured until he lost consciousness.
What if we reply to one seriously and reply to one jokingly and STM has to guess which!
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:
“I always believe the movies I've made are smarter than the way they are perceived by sort of mass culture and by the critics,” Snyder said, a statement he immediately followed by saying, “Also, ‘It looks like a video game.’
Because someone has actually replied to this one seriously, and because STM kept up the quazi-'Awards Night' charade, I'm keeping this one and closing the other one.
Now, all future posts must be people voting. No more discussion about Phylum vs. STM.
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Spending as long as I do here, it's easy to forget that Oddworld has actual fans.
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~
“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age
This reads as a who's who of boo boos. Better watch that tone, boy!
Perfect Princess
Nate Prize Pig
OANST Beefcake Supreme
Sekto Springs Worst dressing
Ranch Dopest Pope
Splat Best Worst Elvis Impersonation
Grandma Grub grub Most startling
Meth baby Deepest blue eyes
Caroline Most wonderful laugh
My sweet, sweet Caroline Most perfect neckline
Oh, Caroline... Coolest video game collection
Me Honorary Hitler Moustache Award
STM Most dangerous genitals
Sekto Springs Most flatulent
WoF Loudest burps
WoF Most Hot dogs consumed in less than a minute
WoF (113 Hot dogs) Best dressing
Italian vinaigrette Most fingerbangings
OANST Most diseases
Africa Most diseases transmitted through fingerbangings
OANST Biggest Whiner
Nepsotic Biggest Winer
Me Most heart palpitations
MS1029 Honorary 'This is the only award that actually matters' Award
Phylum Most butterflies stuck to cardboard and then sniffed when no one's looking
Bullet Magnet Longest The Hobbit Review
Sekto Springs Dangerous Liaisons
It''s not worth the risk, BABY. Please come back to me, I miss you, no more crystal meth I promise
Caroline
as you can see the results are in and it looks like this is a grade F- cut of doped up roid beef
Best Blogger Kastirloin. Apart from DI and MA (both of which crop up once in a blue moon), those are the only blogs I save to read later while I eat my sandwiches (and more recently, jettison my sandwiches).
Funniest Poster MA Most Unintentionally Funny Poster Nepsotic. Hilariously opinionated without great reason. Most Underrated Poster STM. You used to get under my skin, but I'll say slightly mawkishly that you've become a good lad.
Member with the Greatest Oddworld Knowledge Max Most Welcome Return Disgruntled Intern Dearly Missed Member Does MA qualify? I barely see him. If not, DI, whose last post is the first I've seen from him in quite some time. Amendment: Pilot. Most Eccentric MeechMunchie. What was that cardboard game he made? The boy is a whiz. Best Couple Phylum and his marvellous flute. Most Dedicated Member Max
Member in Dire Need of a Life Oddjob. Sad prick. Best Staff Member Nate Member Who’d Make a Good Moderator Phylum
I picked and chose the categories. I don't have all day.
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A man walks into a zoo. There's nothing there but one dog. It was a shih-tzu.
Last edited by OddjobAbe; 12-30-2012 at 06:52 AM..
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I'm the guy who annoyed the other old pricks back in '03. ~Abe16~
“You shouldn't just be a band, ... If you've got the time and you've got the space you've got to make something of it. We might balls the whole thing up but you've got to try!”~Josh Homme, Queens of the Stone Age
And a new award: Most Insular Member. I.e, the member who leaves the confines of the Fan Corner the least, bless their corrupted souls.
I have no clue. I don't venture into that pit of disgust.
Funniest Poster
Mac Sirloin
Most Unintentionally Funny Poster
Nepsotic
Most Meaningful Poster
Nate
Most Underrated Poster
Nepsotic
Best Advice Giver
Wings of Fire
Member with the Greatest Oddworld Knowledge
Max the Mug
Best New Comer
Vyrien: Her assimilation was so uneventful, I sometimes forget she's as new as she is. Good for you, surviving the hazing as well as you did.
Most Welcome Return
Hobo
Best Veteran
Nate
Dearly Missed Member
AiN
Most Liked
Wings of Fire
Most Eccentric
Sekto Springs
Most Annoying
Sally: Pupbenny
Most Accomplished Troll
Scrabface
Best Couple
Havoc, and The Bestiality Doctor
Most Dedicated Member
Xavier
Member in Dire Need of a Life
Nepsotic
Best Staff Member
Nate
Member Who’d Make a Good Moderator
Wings of Fire
The Oddworld Forums Unofficial Mascot
AiN
Most Valuable Poster (MVP)
Mac Sirloin
I always feel like I'm leaving so many people out when I do this, and that sucks. We need more categories. Best Use of Commas, and shit like that. I think Mac should be in charge of coming up with new categories.
So does anyone actually bother to remember their awards from years past? Isn't it customary to post the title holders from yesteryear? Or is that only when the awards are finished?
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HAPPY HOL-ODD-DAYS!
I bought some powdered water, but didn't know what to add.
I know I've been here a short amount of time but here are my votes:
Best Blogger
OANST
Best New Comer
Vyrien, no drama with her
Most Meaningful Poster
Wil [Nate also]
Most Annoying
OANST
Most Accomplished Troll
OANST, for obvious reasons
Best Couple
OANST and STM
Most Dedicated Member
Nate
Member in Dire Need of a Life
OANST, for post count alone
Best Staff Member
Nate
The Oddworld Forums Unofficial Mascot
Wil, cause his avatar is that awesome
Most Valuable Poster (MVP)
Wil
Most Liked
Wil [Nate too]
Used to be I could say that I'm the last member who needs to get a life, but so many of you darling children are growing up, and catching up with me that I really can't.
Now, someone needs to go impregnate a girl. Do it tonight. Don't tell her about it, though. Let it be a surprise.
The 10th Annual Oddworld Forums Poster Awards
