Hope or glory - My first fan fiction.

~^_^~ · #1 11-12-2007, 10:02 AM

Ok, this is my first ever fan fiction, so bear with me if i make HUGE mistakes, or rubbish writing, i just wanted to give it a go.

Hope or glory - There will be parts to this, with chapters in between.
Part 1 - The start of the chaos
Chapter 1 - Birth

The mudokon child screamed. The evil look on the surgeon's faces was a horrific thing to look at. Ignoring the screams, they continued examining him as he had just hatched. Once he was fully examined, he was thrown back into a cage, where he spent most of his life. He became a floor-scrubber, and had a pretty good job. But a terrible accident happened when he was just 7. He was picking up his bucket full of water, when he slipped, and accidentally let the water fall all over a sligs pants. The circuits buzzed. Electricity shot all around the slig, and he was knocked out. A slig noticed this, grabbed him by the neck, and punched him numerous times in the face. Then, he whispered into his bloody ear: "You better not do that again, young punk. Otherwise, there's a new job for you under the meat saw." The slig dropped the young mudokon and left him to cry. But only a couple of minutes later, he came back and told him to clean up the blood he left all over. The slig that was zapped was taken away, whilst he was left to whimper whilst working.

The Mudokon, Jin, was now 17. He was still working at the factory, Tasty-Treaties. He had finally finished cleaning the sligs bathroom. "Ugh, yuck. This place smells so bad..I'm going to puke!" He murmured to himself. He walked out of the bathroom, smelling like urine and something foul. He went back to his cage, and noticed something. There was someone new moved next to him, but he was on his bed, unconcious. Jin looked around, and walked up to this new mud. He looked, and saw lots of blood around him, and decided leave it. As he sat in his cage, he said to himself: "New people, they just dont know how to behave.." But little did he know, that this mudokon was actully powerful. And he could help him to escape and live a free life.
End of chapter one.
So, whaddya think?

Oddey · #2 11-12-2007, 10:07 AM

Cool... good job and pretty original but I wonder where this story is going to go. And a very good first try. I like the idea about the slig getting shockd because I would never have thought of that.

~^_^~ · #3 11-14-2007, 10:00 AM

Im busy at the moment, dont expect a new chapter soon im afraid.

Oddey · #4 11-14-2007, 10:53 AM

:

Im busy at the moment, dont expect a new chapter soon im afraid.

Aww. I hope you get some time soon then because I want to hear the next chapter.

OddYouko · #5 11-17-2007, 07:17 AM

Yeah me too. That's really good!

I wanna know who the other Mudokon is. D=

alf's brother's mate · #6 11-17-2007, 07:38 AM

good-i like this story so far.

~^_^~ · #7 11-18-2007, 06:49 AM

Ready

Chapter 2 - Meetings

Jin had received over 100 beatings today. The reason you ask? For accidentally stepping on a slurg and waking up sloggies. He got away, but boy was he in trouble.
He stumbled back to his cage, tired, hungry, and depressed, when he noticed that mudokon was still there, same position as he was yesterday. "Hey." Jin said as he went over to the mudokon. "You awake?" He poked him with a stick he had on the floor, but he did not stir. "Meh, he's probably dea....WHAT THE!?" Jin was flew back into the wall, his back already aching from the beatings he got. "Ugh...what just happened?" He sat up and looked at the mudokon, and he managed to catch a glimpse of it. A strange, blue bubble had evolved around this mudokon. He suddenly sat up, and started at Jin. "Oh, sorry if i hurt you. My name is Sena. Whats yours?" The mudokon said, and walked up to Jin. Puzzled, thinking he dreamt and saw things, he replied: "Jin. What just happened then? A blue bubble formed around you and knocked me back all the way to this wall!" He questioned the mudokon. He quickly examined Sena. Rough Ponytail, a dark green skin, and yellow eyes. Yup, a slave mudokon. "You must of been seeing things..i don't know what you are talking about." Sena replied, muttering. He went back into a deep sleep, whilst Jin crawled in a ball, still confused by these thoughts and if he really saw this, and if he actually fell over and was not flung back.

The next day Jin managed to avoid getting any beatings, and that was extremely lucky for him! He slithered past the slurgs, he watched the water, and he managed to be quiet when sneaking past some sligs to get to his next position. He came back to his cage, only to find Sena meditating. Jin slapped him, and Sena turned a deep shade of red. "What was that for?! I was meditating! Fool!" Sena suddenly snapped. Jin sat him down, and pinned him against the wall. "Normal mudokons cant meditate like that! I wondered why you were so mysterious! Start explainin'."

End of chapter 2
There you go guys, fresh chapter

.

OddYouko · #8 11-18-2007, 08:28 AM

I like this Sena guy. >=D Great chapter!

MA · #9 11-18-2007, 09:15 AM

bloody hell! that was quite good! im also writing a story at the moment about a slig, but gritty, not jokey...like yours! keep writing cause i wanna' keep reading!!

Oddey · #10 11-18-2007, 10:00 AM

Yipee! More I need more, more, more! If I don't get to see any fan art, stories, or eat candy then I will explode and then assemble again just to check if there is any more.

~^_^~ · #11 11-18-2007, 12:14 PM

O_O DONT EXPLODE ODDEY!
Chapter 3

"What are you accusing? Get off me, you pesky little mud!" Sena hissed and shoved Jin off him. Jin angered, and they proceeded to fight each other. Jin took a fatal swipe to the nose, and it was broken. Howling in pain, he decided not to retaliate, and curled into a ball, sniffing. "Oh no...Odd forgive me. Are you ok, little mud?" Sena said, coming over to Jin in a soft voice. "Get away from me you..you freak!" Was the only reply Sena got at first. "Listen..Ill explain what i am. I am part of a special tribe called "Mooda". We, look the same as normal Mudokons, but we have special abilities that help us survive. Some of us can generate a simple bubble, like the one you saw earlier, to protect themselves from any sort of harm. While some can do extraordinary things, like bring people back to life, and transform into the god Shrykull. Yet, some of our tribe abuse their powers...and not for the good of it. They use it for some Bad deeds, and they normally end up in Slavery." Sena explained. "You use it for a bad deed then? Because you are here." Jin stood up, wiping the blood of his nose. "You obviously must be bad i-" "No. That is not right. I have been sent on a mission. A mission to destroy the core of the factory. And save any people i can on the way. Yet, i was prisoned, because i accidentally stood on a Slurg." Sena sighed. "Heh, there's loads of those things around this place." Jin sat down next to this "Mooda" Mud. "You know what, I'm sorry about accusing you at the start. You seem like a pretty cool mud. And if when yo-" Jin was cut off by something whacking into his skull, and before he lost conscious, he looked at Sena, who was slowly passing out to. He managed to mouth the words "Rescue."

End of chapter 3 - Short i know, but hey, its a chapter.

OddYouko · #12 11-18-2007, 02:11 PM

=D Great! I luv them two. Keep it up.

Oddey · #13 11-19-2007, 07:50 AM

Yay! I didn't explode. This is definatley a good fiction and I'm going to be waiting.

MA · #14 11-20-2007, 06:14 PM

wha?...eh?...what hit em?, why, who ,how?!? i need to satisfy this addiction goddamit!

~^_^~ · #15 11-21-2007, 01:13 PM

Here it is

(By the way, if i type spelling mistakes etc, don't blame me, i cut my finger open by accident today

)
Chapter 4 - Visions

Jin woke up in a dark room. All he could feel was slurgs crawling up him. He threw them off, and luckily they did not make that horrible "squeak" sound. Suddenly the main light turned on, and there in front of him was Sena, in a cage himself. He looked at the top sign: "Two mudokons. One has power to meditate/Chant. Other is willing to help. Decapitation for them at 9:30AM sharp." "What?!? SENA! Wake up!" Jin threw a rock he found at Sena. He awoke, and his face filled with dread. "Oh no..this definitely wasnt supposed to happen. Ugh..I'm sorry Jin...Now we are both going to die." Sena started blaming himself. "I might as well suicide.." Sena started hitting himself on the head. Hard. "No! Don't do that! We could escape, we could be free!" Jin protested, but Sena continued. "STOP IT!" he screamed. Sena then stopped, and curled into a ball and made little sniffling noises. But after a while he sat up, and started talking again. "Jin...i think i know a way out.." Sena pointed at a metal pipe on the floor. "These bars look loose, if we could just use this pipe and push it hard enough against the bar's, they should come off. Its our only hope." Sena passed the pipe to Jin. "Good luck." Jin used all his strength into pushing the pipe into the bars. But nothing happened. "I..cant do it..I'm so..so.." Suddenly Jin was taken from reality. He saw a blue light. There was mudokon spirits flying in front of him. "Jin..Jin! Wake up!" The ghosts whispered. "What..AAGH! Get away from me!" Jin was terrified by these, and it was only then he realised he couldn't move. The ghosts started talking again. "Listen..You are in no danger. We only need your help. No one knows this, but actually the Messiah Abe has died. He blew himself up, because he pulled the boiler wheel to far. But you can take his place. We can grant you with special powers that can aid you in your quest to escape from this factory. But, we ask for something in return. We ask that you could save all the mudokon slaves you can. We can offer you the power of the legendary power: Metal bomb. It sounds industrial, but its actually a native type of weapon. Its where you can generate a remote-controlled bomb. It sticks to any metal..of your choice. And that includes Sligs pants. You can choose how big the explosion is, as well. Well..do you want to take this option?" Jin began to Grin. This sounded like the perfect thing for him. "Sure, lets do it!" "But...There is one more thing. Sena actually will help you. He is actually able to teleport himself and other people. He's a nice, safe mud. Now...hold still." The ghosts suddenly reached out their bony, blue hands. They touched Jin's Forehead, and lighting shot down their arms. "AGGHH! Stop! Stop the pain! NO!!" Jin was howling in extreme agony...but then it was over, and he was back in reality. "Stop what, Jin? Whats wrong?" Sena looked at Jin, and noticed that there was a massive Tattoo on his forehead. It was a circle, with multiple circles around it, with sticks coming from it. Jin knew what he had to do. He generated a bomb, and set it to the metal pipe. He set the explosion to small, and threw it to the bars. He suddenly received a remote, and he activated it, and the bars exploded. "Whoa...looking good Jin! I'm a teleporter by the way, i can help you alot when you are in danger." Sena explained. "I know, the spirits told me. Now," Jin exploded Sena cage bars. "Lets go."

End of chapter 4 =D

OddYouko · #16 11-21-2007, 03:32 PM

Great chapter! =) More more.

-gasps- Abe died?! -faints-

MA · #17 11-21-2007, 03:53 PM

another typically exciting chapter! even through an amputated finger (go with it) you manage to satisfy our needs as readers! you already have quite a few fans of this story (including me), and the numbers are still rising, fast!

Oddey · #18 11-22-2007, 06:33 AM

Poor Abe. I want more anyway. This story is great.

~^_^~ · #19 11-25-2007, 10:55 AM

Ok, here's more. XD.

Part 2 - Breakout

Chapter 5 - Spotted

Jin and Sena escaped from the room they were in. Suddenly, alarms flashed. The doors in front of them closed. They heard a whirring..a machine of some sort starting. Suddenly, a Glukkon voice boomed through the speakers above them: "You low life muds. Did you really think that could escape from HERE!? Hah! Well, no problem anyways. Ill just use your meat for the slogs!" The voice was cut off, and Jin quickly examined the room. They took the wrong door. If they would of gone right, they would of been out of the factory straight away. But instead, they took the left turn and went straight into the meat room..AKA the meat saw room. Sena quickly looked at the ceiling, to notice 15 meat saws, all lined up next to each other slowly start to come down. Panicking, Sena slammed on the metal doors. "Let us out, you industrial freaks!" But then Sena remembered his power. "Jin, i can teleport us from here! All i need is some spooce...Try to find some! And hurry!" Jin took the message, and began searching through boxes and under tables for some spooce. The meat saw already half way now, they were panicking. In the nick of time, Jin found 3 spooce growing in a dark corner. He harvested them, and passed them to Sena. Sena began to float into the air, meditating as fast as he could. But it was only then they noticed the chant orb. It zapped Sena, and knocked him out. "Shit!" Jin shouted to himself. He frantically thought of what to do, and remembered what he could do as well. He summoned a bomb, and set the bomb to explode in 2 seconds. He threw it up to the orb, and it exploded as soon as it went near it. Jin slapped Sena as hard as he could, And he awoke. "Cmon, Sena! The meat saws are almost at us now! Hurry up!" Jin was terrified of what was going to happen to them if they didn't hurry. Sena began chanting and meditating in the air as fast as he could, and a blue surge of energy formed around the muds. Electricity flowed around the bubble, and they teleported away from the scene, yet Sena felt some of his pony tail being cut of because of the meat saw.

They found themselves inside a tube, and immediately started sliding down. "We're in the meat shoot!" Jin said, knowing from bad experiences, and several beatings. They flew out of the dark tube and landed into a brightly lighted room. They landed straight into mudokon, scrab, and even slig meat! "Yuck!" Jin protested and shook the meat of his head. They scrambled out of the bloody things, and stood up. "Look out!" Sena pushed Jin down and they both hid under the meat. Slig guards had almost spotted them. They were guarding the door, and were looking sleepy. "Hey..i spot some scrubs over there!" Jin whispered to Sena. Waiting for several minutes, watching the scrubs clean under surveillance and the sligs, they finally saw the sligs drift off into a sleep. Jin took this chance, and sneaked up to the scrubs. "Hey, all of you..Follow me, we can be free!" Jin whispered. The scrubs agreed, and sneaked with him back to where they were hiding. Sena did a quick head count, and not including him and Jin, there were 12 scrubs with them. "Right..i have a idea." Jin passed all of the scrubs some metal bars, which were scattered all over the place. "Follow me, all of you." They sneaked up to the sligs, and Jin purposely woke them up. "Kick some booty!" Jin exclaimed, trying to act like Abe. The scrubs charged, "Yeeargh! Yeah!" It was a bloody battle, yet the scrubs, Jin, and Sena, managed to beat both of the sligs to death. They went through the door, and awaited the next trial they would have to face.

End of chapter 5.
Longest chapter yet i think..What do you think?

OddYouko · #20 11-25-2007, 11:05 AM

Good good very good. =D Oh and I hope your finger is ok.

Oddey · #21 11-27-2007, 06:49 AM

Cool! I hope your finger gets better just like Oddyouko said. Me like the idea of the meat saws and the bomb. But Jin could have made a bomb to blow up one or 2 of the meat saws. Unless they hold really well together. So what though. What happens now?

~^_^~ · #22 12-02-2007, 02:52 AM

Thanks guys.
Chapter 6 - Portals

Jin and Sena ran had gone through the door with fear, as this had already been a terrifying experience. The mudokon scrubs believed in Jin, and had followed him in trust. They had entered a very dark room, and it was very hard to see. But they could just get a glimpse of some sligs, and their evil red look. They sneaked as quietly as they could, but Sena tripped over a rock. "What wuz that?" A slig said, turning around. Jin, panicking, ran out of the room, scared. The sligs took aim and fired at Jin, and missed him, except the last bullet. That hit his shoulder, and he fell to the ground. Blood squirted out of the cut, and Jin felt weak. The sligs laughed, and went up to Jin. With all his power, Jin summoned a bomb and set it on a slig, and fell unconscious. The slig ran around in panic, and kept running up to the other sligs. The time on it ended, and the sligs exploded. The scrubs and Sena came out of the shadows, to see Jin on the floor.

Sena carried him, as He was very weak. But on their continued journey through this hell-hole, Sena spotted some birds. Was it..Yes it was! It was a rescue portal!
"Jin...Jin..wake up!" Sena tried to make Jin regain conscious, and had succeeded. "Ugh..it hurts.." Jin said in agony. "Jin, i know it does. But i need you to rescue this scrubs, its our chance to save them." Jin slowly got off Sena's shoulders, and walked to the portal. One scrub suddenly said: "You can do it Jin!" Jin turned around, and smiled. The scrubs were happy, and cheering for him. He put his paws together, and remembered the ancient words, that had been in his brain ever since the vision. He began chanting them, and he suddenly heard a huge wave of noise. The bird portal had opened, but Jin still had his eyes closed, focused on chanting. The scrubs said: "Thank you Jin!" And jumped into the portal. Jin stopped chanting, and fell to the ground again. "C'mon Jin, don't give up now, that cut will heal!" Sena tried with him, and picked him up once more. Not knowing where to go, Sena hopelessly wondered around. After around a hour of searching, he found a door. Pushing with all his might, he managed to open it. It was a well lighted room for a change, and there were many mudokons in cages. The sligs were sleeping on duty, but the mudokons were to scared to go. It was a corridor, and to the left, was a stack of boxes, probably full of cigars. To the right, was the cages. Sena as quietly as he could sneaked, but didn't notice the slurg on the floor. He stepped on it, and that horrible "Squeak" Sound came out. The slig stood up, at the other end of the corridor, and shouted "FREEZE!" He didn't have a gun, only a bat. Sena not knowing what to do, frantically searched for something. He put Sena down on the ground, and found a bomb that had not been activated. Sligs may be powerful with arms, but they weren't that bright. Sena activated the bomb and placed it in front of where the slig was running.
Shortly, there was a massive explosion, that made Sena and all the mudokons fall over. "Yes! Jin, we killed the slig!" Sena turned to Jin, and gasped in horror.
Jin was lying in a puddle of his own blood.

End of chapter 6.
Whaddya think?

Oddey · #23 12-02-2007, 03:38 AM

Cool! But I need a little clarification at the end because I don't quite get it. Is it Sena's blood or is it Jin's blood? Other than that very good.

~^_^~ · #24 12-02-2007, 04:09 AM

Jin's blood, from his wound.

Oddey · #25 12-02-2007, 05:43 AM

Ok thank you for clearing that up. And I must say: What a chapter! It was fantastic!

OddYouko · #26 12-04-2007, 04:04 PM

Great chapter! =D Aww poor Jin.

MA · #27 12-07-2007, 04:15 AM

sorry i havent posted for a while, bloody PC bost.
i hope you haven't give up on this story, as its very good!
make sure you post soon, otherwise...*shotgun load*...i'll have to turn to desperate measures...

~^_^~ · #28 12-09-2007, 05:06 AM

Thanks guys, and no i haven't given up. :P

Chapter 7 - Revival

"Jin!?!? No..this cant be happening!" Sena picked up Jin and examined his shoulder, it was worse then he thought. The cut had got worse, and a massive, red line was going down his arm. "Internal Bleeding.." Sena muttered to himself. Then he examined the middle of the huge cut, and blood was squirting out. Sena could hear Jin panting and gasping for air. "Sena...Help...Me.." Jin managed to whisper. "I will Jin! I promise!" Sena said, fighting back the tears. Sena had only just met this person, yet he felt a strong connection, and strong friendship between them. With Jin on his back, Sena set off down the hallway, opening the prison cells and telling the mud's to follow him and Jin. As they were walking, the lights suddenly cut off. There was a whooshing noise. "Whats that?" A mud murmured. "I don't know.." Sena said. Suddenly, he saw something enormous as the lights flickered. A massive tidal wave of water was coming towards them. The factory must of used this as a trap to kill them! "RUN!!!" Sena shouted out. The mud's and him ran for their lives, and then they saw a door saying: "Vykkers paramedics - Got a cut? Come here!" "Quick, in here!" Sena said. The mud's and Sena ran into the place, and slammed the iron door shut. The water couldn't affect them from there. Sena spotted a Vykker, but he was unarmed. "Intruders..?!" The vykker spitted out. Sena and the mud's pinned him against the wall. "Fix up Jin, and we'll let you go." Sena said, pushing the Vykker harder against the wall. "Alright..alright..just get off me!!!" The vykker urged. He gave the vykker Jin, who was now almost dead. "QUICKLY!" Sena bursted out. The vykker did some disgusting work. He opened up Jin's shoulder, injected him with things, and eventually, after some hours work, Jin was ok again. He stood up, and Saw the vykker. He summoned a bomb and stuck it to the Vykkers head. "You helped me, but your an industrial." Jin murmured. The vykker ran around panicking, and found his bone saw on the table. He was just about to kill Jin when the bomb exploded, and killed him instantly.
"JIN!!" Sena said, extremely happy that his new friend didn't die because of the wound.
"Hey Sena. Thanks for looking after me." Jin smiled at him. "Well, C'mon mud's, follow me! There's a bird portal over there!" The mud's followed Jin to the bird portal, which had circled in the corner of the room. Jin chanted, and a blue light appeared. The mud's jumped into it, and were freed. Suddenly, another alarm went off. "Vykkers paramedics have been broken into - Proceeding to let off Gas." "Oh odd." Jin said. Suddenly a Gas timer was on the wall - 30 seconds. "Quick, lets get out!" Sena said, and tried the doors.
No use though, as the doors were locked. "Wait...Jin..those birds haven't disappeared you know." Jin turned around, and chanted once more. But the bird portal was still open. "They must of left it open for us, lets go!" Suddenly, the green gas emerged from the ceiling. They jumped into the portal, and arrived in Necrum. "We're in..Necrum?" Jin said. "Why would they want us to go here?"

END OF CHAPTER 7!!

.
Whaddya think? Sorry its a bit small. >_<

Oddey · #29 12-09-2007, 06:27 AM

Cool! I'm liking the way this story just keeps me guessing. Keep it up. Short? That was pretty long!

OddYouko · #30 12-09-2007, 02:23 PM

I'm likeing it too. =D

I luv Jin and Sena!