Oddworld; episode 1; the phantom menace

[Fred]

Warning; I'm a french-canadian guy, so, my english is not perfect and this forum is my very first one so I don't know how a fan fic is working, so, this fan fic is more an experiment than anything else. I'm not a champion in organisation so I'll improvise everything but, don't worry I'm a champion in improvisation. If anyone doesn't answer to my fan fic or, tell me to continue I'll stop there.

[6-finger-fred]

Yeah i'll read it.

[Fred]

Yeah i'll read it.

Cool! thanks dude! Is anyone more?

[6-finger-fred]

I don't know I think you should just start. Get the story going so people will reply. Not a lot of people are on I don't think.

[dripik]

Welcome, Fred. You should start the story as soon as you can, and then you'll see who's reading it. And don't stop just because lack of feedback, only when you had enough of writing. Check other fan fics on the Forums, you'll get the hang of it.

I'll check the story when you post it. I wonder how this will turn out.

[Fred]

Ok guys, I think you're right I begin to write just the time to take my breathe

[Fred]

Prologue; ''The birth of oddworld''

Once upon a time, there was nothing just a perfect chaos all that there was is a volcano planet with no name. None life form could survive in this atmosphere. Until one little cell survived. She begun to divided himself to form the first multi-cellular life form to survive on this hostile planet. When he became at the form of a little worm he entered in a cold deep and dark cave where he made his nest and feed himself with everything he found.

Some milleniums passed, he became bigger and bigger years after years. He became so big that he can't move from himself so, he can't feed himself alone. To survive he had no choices to feed only his spirit with deep meditation as he enter, in a deep sleep. His roots grown very much they dig their way trough the rock as milleniums passed and passed but, also in his dreams, he begin to felt alone.

When he finally wake up he discover his new powers so, he think;
''Now, I'm ready... I'm ready to create life.''
He use his mental powers to make grass, to make air, to make water, and all the vital elements. Then, he lay eggs, each one contain a queen that will make life to an entire race. He check his children and say;
''What odd creatures. I know I'll name this world; Oddworld!''

As the milleniums passed the creatures grows and built their society across the world each one living his life in peace and in armony with nature. But one dark and saddy day, the almighty creature known that his end approching. He said;
''My hour is coming, the race that will rule the world will recognise his paw on odd moon face. My son will guide you in the future.''
Then, before he died he lay a last little egg who contain his official heir who'll gonna inherit all his knowledge. Then the egg crack and a little worm like he was long time ago crawl out by saying;
''I need to found a good place to built my nest and then...and then...zzzzzzzzzzz...''

14 385 years later all the people lived in peace across the world. But for how long?

[Spirrow]

I thought it was a good story, so don't stop there. You did
say the cell was a female in the beginning, but then you said it was a male.
Which is it?

No offense, but I also sighted some mistakes, but you can
edit them if you want.

Good job for starters, Fred.

[Fred]

I thought it was a good story, so don't stop there. You did
say the cell was a female in the beginning, but then you said it was a male.
Which is it?

No offense, but I also sighted some mistakes, but you can
edit them if you want.

Good job for starters, Fred.

Don't you know that a cell is alway a female!

[Slaveless]

Ah, this story didn't turn out as I thought it would. Great job. I see you have made some sort of religoes-cross scienctific explamation of Oddworld's community. Haven't seen those in a while.

But I have one thing to say. There isn't a queen for every speices, so just a heads up. And I thought not every speices had believed in the same gods. No offense actually, but since this a fan fic, what you say is law in your fan fic.

[Fred]

That was in the green field of Mudos that the young Mudokon Bob was running behind a butterfly in the hope to catch them.
''Bob! Go to school before you be late!'' Says Joe; his oddfather.
By hearing these words he say in his minds;''Oh oh!'' and start to run. On his way he travel a bridge and arrive in the corn fields where he say hello to everyone. When he finally arrives at the great hutt build in wood and skin, that was the school.

Arrives in the classroom he said to the teacher;
''Sorry mister teacher but I...hmmmmm...I was attacked by a paramite herd!''

''Don't say anything Bob, the paramites are one of our sacred animals, they can't attack anyone.''

''But four hunters have been killed last week!''

''Bob, shut up!''

''But that's tru...''

''(Angry Mudokon sound)'' Bob was effraid. And teacher said;

''How would you become a good farmer, herder, hunter or monk if you arrive late in school?!''

''But I don't want to be anything of these, I wanna be a great hacke champion.''

''Pfffff, that's a child dream, soon or late, you'll learn to be a gentle little responsible Mudokon. But by awaiting this moment, you'll have to wash the Meep poo.''

''But... but...''

''Maybe after this you'll learn to arrive in time at school. Take this as your begining in the job as Meep herder. Now sit down, today we'll learn the story of oddworld's birth.''

Then, Bob sit down and listen the class at the end. Few hours later, Bob as to go to the Meep herder village where he met the leader of the village.

''So, you're the young one who have to wash the poo?'' The old herder said.

''Yeah...'' Bob said by checking the ground with shame.

''Okay, first take those gloves you'll have to take all with your hands and put it in those bucket, the farmers gonna need them as fertilizer. Second, take this rake to return the soil (that's for the smell)''

Bob laugh out loud but the old herder has stay cold. Then he opened the great door where all the Meeps were staying then, the villagers put them all out.

After this crappy job, it was the night. When he arrive at his oddfather's house he was tired, completly tired. Then he saw the great moon. At this moment, he begin to question himself.

''Why did the great odd have decided to make us the leaders of this world? Why did he gave to us the life if it is to be like Meeps; all looks the same.''

''I've heard you Bob'' say Joe in his back.

''But I don't know how to accomplished my destiny, I don't know how to be a different Mudokon than all the others.'' Then he started to cry. Joe was panicked so he say him ;

''Hum... maybe you can consult the almighty raisin.''

''The almighty what?''

''You don't know who is the almighty raisin? What do they learn to you in school?'' Without mentionned him that he never listen in school he listen the continuation of his story.

''The legend say that he live in a cave in the mountain of the SpooceShrub forest. The legend also said that he is the direct son of the great odd.''

''Awesome!''

''No, that's not awesome. The legend also said that there's a big paramites herd who keep the enter of his cave. All the ones who've try to rejoin them never come back!'' He said with a scary attitude.

''Oh that's so scary! Ok I'll don't try to consult the almighty raisin.''

''You promise?''

''Promise!''

''Okay now come to sleep.''

''okay!''

But Bob was very decided to go meet the almighty raisin, tomorrow, he'll miss school and he'll go accomplished his destiny. But before he enter in the Joe's hutt, it seems like he have see a little black stitche on the moon. That was strange becose he was moving slowly with black smoke behind.

''Bob! Come here!''

''Yeah, yeah.'' He said with eyes to the sky.

[Fred]

Ah, this story didn't turn out as I thought it would. Great job. I see you have made some sort of religoes-cross scienctific explamation of Oddworld's community. Haven't seen those in a while.

But I have one thing to say. There isn't a queen for every speices, so just a heads up. And I thought not every speices had believed in the same gods. No offense actually, but since this a fan fic, what you say is law in your fan fic.

Just to precise, the other species with no queens are born alone with the old evolution principe.

[Bullet Magnet]

I like your use of oxymorons in the first part. "Perfect Chaos". Very poetic.

[Fred]

Okay everyone, let's go with the chapter two...

[Abeguy]

so, Joe tells him to see the great raisen, and then tells him not to?

NICE STORY ANYWHO!!!

[Fred]

Very far away at this moment at the native Grubbs temple, the official Steef guardian, the hero of the Mongo valley was praying the great odd to guide all his ancestors to the shrine of the fallen warriors in the kingdom of death. But an help call shattered the silence of the holy place.

''Steef! Steef!'' It was a Grubb villager.''You're wife is attacked by a strange creature near the river!''

''What? How can this be? Ok, I'm on the way.''

Then he started to run fast as a ram and wild as a lion. As he take the way down the mountain, he start to take some questions;

''It isn't normal, usualy all is calm in the valley, except some fuzzles and slegs attacks there's nothing very dangerous and now, my wife and my children are attacked by a mysterious creature, something big is prepared...''

Only the time to think those things he arrive at his destination. At the mountain's cliff he see his wife who's trying to protect his two children by keeping them behind herself and by screaming to intimidate his ennemy. The creature was a strange one, she as a big head with red eyes, no arms but two legs with three fingers who's look like long blades. The monster was taking her back against the cliff then, the demon turn on himself throwing little green balls who've touch her and make her tie by green bonds. The young Steefs tries to freed their mother but it doesn't work. As the demonic ennemy coming closer and closer the guardian Steef became very angry. Then, he jumped down the cliff and arrives face to face of the monster and he screamed so powerfully that the crature fall down. But only a few second later she as raising up.

''You're a tuff one didn't you? But I got something to calm beasts like you.''

Then, the Steef make his crossbow ready to work, he take some boombats and stingbees and say;

''Bring it on you bastard!''

Then, he fire a boombat and during the time the monster was confused he shoot a lot of stingbees. But the enemy was only a little bit injured.

''Okay,''The Steef says.''Maybe you'll be a real challenge after all.''

So, the Steef decided to use a lot better strategy. He shoot a Spunks at his feet and the monstruous smell make the beast sick then, the Steef use a ram attack to take them down, fire a lot of fuzzles to keep them back at the ground and run away to fire a boombat right on the target.

''Okay, now he must be death.''Say the Steef with high breathe.

When the Steef has coming closer of his enemy corpse body, he has waking up and take the guardian down and was ready to stab the hero. But just in time the young Steef (one of his two children) jump on the assailant
and bite him with his powerful jaws. The creature was screaming with pain as she shake his head to take the young Steef on the ground with violence as he lose consciousness. The father raise up quickly and shoot a thudslug that take the creature down and before he have time to raise up the Steef use a ram attack that put them in the river. The Steef has hope that the creature's gonna be drown but she seems to swim very well. The Steef say with anger;

''This time, I'll finish you for real.''Say the Steef with some self-confident

Then, he takes his zappfly and shoot an electric ball that makes all the water electrify. The shock killed the demon. After his fight, the Steef run to his wife who was always tie and freed her with his Steef warrior strenght.

''Thanks, dear.'' His wife said.

''Dad, you've been awesome!'' His daughter said.

''No, no don't thanks me I've done my job and nothing more.'' The Steef said with modesty.

''Dad, What was that thing?''

''I don't know. But I hope he was the only one in the valley.''

''Our son have been very brave in this fight'' Said the proud mother

''You're right, I think it can begun now. The Steef warrior training.''

***

As the family try to bring the young Steef back to the reason, a little creature in the water with big purple head, big flashing orange eyes and four
tentacles has watching the scene and was very angry that his soldier have failed against this pathetic mammal horned creature. Has he come back under the water to swim like a jellyfish he take the way to the north and think in his minds;

''The river never's gonna be mine with those...problems.''

[Fred]

so, Joe tells him to see the great raisen, and then tells him not to?

NICE STORY ANYWHO!!!

Joe has only want to give them a little hope, so he make them curious and tell them that's forbidden to make them more curious to be sure he'll try. And, no he don't want to kill him he is only sure that he'll succeed.

[Matriar]

Great story ! Keep it up!

[Dancing Steef]

Good story I want to read more!


~DS~

[Fred]

Just at the hour of the sunrise, Bob have take his Elumy (the equivalent of the pony for us.) and take the way to the raisen's cave. As he arrives at the SpooceShrub forest, he've never stop thinking about the fact that the almighty raisen could reveal them how he could be different of all the Mudokons. Suddenly, he've been stopped by a big wood wall with a gate.

''What is that?'' He said. ''There's a lever, he must open the door, I hope.''

Then he pull the lever and the gate has opened. But behind the door there was a big paramites herd.

''Joe was right, now how can I travel this enormous trap.''

Then he saw there was an expresso vendo machine.

''An expresso is gonna make me run faster'' he said.

Then, he drink some one, jump to the other side of the fence and run fast as he can. After a long chase he arrived at the enter of the raisen's cave.

''Yes! Finally!'' He said.

But then, he saw that there was a big wood door with a spooce lock. The cost; 99 spooces.

''(Angry Mudokon sound) I can't believe it!'' He said with anger

Then he saw there hare many spooces between the first gate and the cave entrance.

''Ok, let's do it...again.''

Just the time to take another expresso and he do the same travel two more times.

''Okay...'' He said with high breathe. ''Now I can enter.''

He payed the cost of spooces by chanting near the lock and when it was write zero the gate as opened. He walked in the deep cave, when he saw an old wood door. But this time, he could open them alone. He had enter in a gigantic cave with fluorescent mushrooms. He took a look all around but there was nothing except a big rock at the center of the room.

''Looks like it was just a legend.'' He said with despair.

When, he heard a deep voice from his back.

''Who is entered in my cave during my sleep time.''

It was the big rock. He had four little orange flashing eyes and a mouth.

''W...who are you?'' Bob said with a lot of fear.

''I am the almighty raisen. The direct son of the great odd.''

Finally! He had found what he had search.

''Heu... hello mister raisen, I am...''

''Bob, the mudokon, I know.''

''But... how could you know? I live very far away from here and you're so big that you can't move.''

''Did you know what is a ratz?''

''Yes, they are little parasites who eat in our garbage and live in our toilets. Why?''

''Those creatures are my eyes and my ears on the exterior world.''

''Eh... ok, but I've come here to ask you a question.''

''Okay, what is your question?''

''What would I do to be a different Mudokon?''

''Okay, just wait a minute...'' Then, the raisen close his eyes and enter in a deep state of minds. As he open his eyes quickly he said; ''Go back to your village...quickly!''

''W...why?''

''If you don't go back to your village very quickly to prevent all the villagers, an ennemy will attack them. Now, run!!!'' Said the raisen very noisily before Bob starts to run away from the cave.

***

At this moment, in the Bob's village, the villagers were all frightened to see those big flying machines approaching the beach from the sea. When one add finish to land all the villagers were awaiting for battle with their pitchforks, their sickles and their sling to be ready to fight. But when big metal gate had open, two strange creatures had get out one was a little green creature with red flashing eyes, mechanical pants and a strange weapon with none blade or rock to throw. The other was tall, with none arms, purple dressed, with a big brown head with something making smoke in his mouth.

''Hello brave Mudokons!'' the big brown head said.

''Hey!'' A villager says. ''How do you know who we hare? and who are you?''

''I'm the official ambassador of the Glukkon race. I got a deal for you.''

''If you want negociations you need to talk to our queen.'' Another villager said.

''Please dear villagers. Bring me to this ''queen''''

''Okay, follow me mister...?''

''Molluck. My name is Molluck.''

[Spirrow]

Alright, great job, Fred. Keep it coming.
You can do the writing and I will just relax and read.

(content sigh)

[Slaveless]

Ah, thanks for answering my question. Even though there are some grammar errors, it's turning out to be quite a story. And I'm supposing that this is happening, like 30 years before Abe was born?

[Fred]

Thanks for your commentary Slaveless. Sorry for the grammar errors, just read my signature and you'll understand. I've create a scenario in my head and all your questions gonna find an answer. My story will be so precise that you'll finally know why Abe is different of the others Mudokons! (In theory of course.)

[Spirrow]

That sounds good, bring it on.
I like reading different theories from different people.

[Fred]

After his fight, the guardian Steef had went to the Grubb village and ask to the elder of the village with his son what was this strange creature;

''I got bad news for you Steef...'' The elder said.

''What kind of bad news?'' The beast warrior asked.

''The creature you've killed was a Gloktigi.''

''Oh my odd, you mean the far cousin of the Octigis?''

''Sorry but I'm effraid that the answer is yes.''

''What? what is an Octigis?'' The young Steef asked.

''You don't know what is an Octigis? what do they learn to you in school?'' The young Steef had prefer to don't mentionned that he never listen in school. ''Okay listen, the legend said that a long time ago, when the great odd had died, a new race had born from his corpse body. It was the Octigis.''

''So, that means...''

''Yeah, that means that those creatures are demons, the perfect incarnation of the evil on Oddworld. The Octigis had control Oddworld during many years.
Since, the great odd had create us, the Steefs, from the kingdom of death. After we've beat the Octigis, the peace had been restore in Oddworld since today.''

''Wow! What an incredible story!''

''Yes, now you know why I hope there's no more of those creatures in the valley. And that's exactly why we need to start you're Steef warrior training now.''

''W...what?''

''I know you've clearly hear me. You'll follow exactly the same training that you're grandfather had make me do.''

''But, but...''

''No but please! Now, follow me to the Mongo wilds for you're initiation.''

At this moment, The young Steef had said in his head;

''Just the fact that I have to follow this training give me the desire to kil those Octigis.''

***

After few hours of walk, the two Steefs were arrived at the Mongo wilds;

''Okay junior, now you got to go to the other side of the river. Then, you'll find a cave with a giant Sleg. You got to kill him.''

''Okay no problems, here we go!''

''No, you have to do this alone.''

''What?''

''And without weapons.''

''But... that's impossible!''

''I know, I was older than you when I've killed my first one. But all those who can't kill a giant Sleg, can't kill an Octigi.''

''Okay, in this case...''

Then the young Steef had swim to the other side of the river and, just like his father said there was a cave. He was thinking about a plan to kill this beast only with his claws, his jaws, his fists, his hoofs, his head and of course, his courage. So, he've think about something;

''During the fight with the Octogi, my father have tried to put him in the river to drown them but, he was a good swimmer. But I know that the Slegs doesn't swim. Yeah, I think it could work.''

So he throwed a rock in the cavern and shout;

''Hey you stupid Sleg! Come here!''

But it looks like the giant Sleg wasn't alone.

''Ah! This monster is with a gang!''

The future warrior (or maybe not) had run in the river by knowing he'll never try to follow them in.

''Ha! Now, try to attack me from where you are!''

But the Sleg add burst a big acid ball that the young Steef had avoid.

''Wow! I wasn't knowing that a Sleg could do that! Now I got no other choice; here we go!''

Then the young Steef was back to the shore and run very quicly back to the Sleg and with a ram attack, he put them directly in the river. All the other normal Slegs tried to bite them but he killed them all with his fists.

''Good. Mission complete.''

Then, he travel the river to go back to his father's spot;

''Did you kill them?''

''Yes''

''How did you kill them?''

''I've put them in the river.''

''Excellent. Exactly what I've except from you.''

''What?''

''Today, you have learn your first lesson; ever use the river at your advantage.''

''All this story only to learn this lesson?!''

''Yes. Ok follow me.''

''Where we're going?''

''Home. Tomorrow, the training will really begin.''

***

The little jellyfish with orange flashing eyes had arrived at the north of the river where it's snowing. When he suddently stop as he check the two sides of the canyon. At this moment he said in his head;

''This spot is perfect for my...project.''

[Slaveless]

Hm, interesting concepts of how things happen. So you have also told us that Steef fight other creatures as well, like Gloktigis, on some basis?

Anyway, it's nice to see a French Candanian around here. I have been to Canada as well, but not Quebec. British Columba, I believe. Anyway, great story so far.

[Fred]

Thanks again Slaveless. Now that I know that the big monsters are Gloktigis I'll change some details in this chapter.

And for everyone, I really like to write those stories for you all. Don't think I'll stop writing one of these day. The story will always be like this; we'll follow the adventures of Bob and the young Steef with one chapter of interval between each one. But don't worry, sometimes there will be some chapters where we'll can follow what's happening in the industrialists side.

[Fred]

That's in the nature of the Mudokons to make a good welcome to all the strangers. And that's exactly why they've decided to transport they're guest, Molluck, in a trolley to they're final destination; the official nursery of the Mudokon nation, and also an holy temple; the Monsaic lines.

''When did we'll arrive to those Monsaic lines?'' Molluck said to his host the leader of the Mudos's west coast Mudokon's village.

''Yeah, we're approaching don't worry Mr. Molluck.'' Said the Mudokon leader.''Look! We can see them!''

Then all could see the big temple with two Mudokon statues at the two sides of the path who lead to the two massive gates. Few minutes later Molluck as been lead to the throne's room. There was six Mudokons with big paints symbols on theirs skin and big clothes with big feathers. They were all sit on big rocks in lotus position, they were meditate. And finally, the Mudokon queen; Sam. She was just like all the other Mudokons except his bigger ''tail'' on his head, she was also taller and his kin was blue like the sea of the Carribbean(sob). She was sit with his big abdomen where all the Mudokon eggs get out on a wheel with little baskets and the weight of the eggs make turn the wheel where Mudokons take the eggs when they arrived down and bring them to the nursery.

''Welcome my dear children, who is this stranger that you've guide to my noble throne room?'' Said Sam with a maternal, warm and soft voice(sob bis).

''My name is Molluck the Glukkon your majesty.''

''Please, just call me Sam.''

''Ok mrs. Sam, I got a deal for you.''

''A...deal?''

''He means he wanna make some negociations Mom.'' Said the Mudokon right at his left.

''Thanks my dear child. So, mister Molluck you want some negociations?.''

''Yes, business negociations.''

''Business?''

''This time I don't know what it mean.'' The same Mudokon said.

''It mean commercial exchanges.''

''Commercial?''

''Okay that's enough!'' Shout Molluck. ''Commercial, mean that I wanna build a factory on your territory.''

''Factory?''

''AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!'' Scream Molluck with despair. ''All I need is your permission to build my factory! Just say ok and we're in business.''

''O...ok.''

''Perfect! Excellent! I'll take this as a yes. Now you can bring me back to my Blimp.''

''Blimp?'' The village's leader said.

''(deep sigh) My flying machine on the beach.''

''Ah! ok.''

''Goodbye mister Molluck!'' Sam said.

''Goodbye mrs. Sam.'' He said before Mudokons bring them out of the throne's room.

Bob was there all the time behind the door listening all they're conversation. At this moment, he murmured very quietly;

''Oh no. It's too late.''

***

Few hours later, Molluck was back at the beach.

''Thank you brave Mudokons. Don't worry, I'll come back soon.'' Said Molluck.
''Goodbye!'' He said just before he enter in his Blimp.

When the Blimp add finally leave the ground, Molluck add immediately fone to a Slig who was somewhere in the continent of Glukose.

''Mister Molluck? What's up with you?''

''We can start the ''brew'' project.''

[Slaveless]

Oh. Hm. Nice chapter. Really represented the fact that Mudokons are dull on Industerial manufacturement. And nice use of saying Glukose.

This really kinds of bends Oddworld history, though. Not that this a bad thing, but I just noticed.

I'm not trying to offending you, I really like this story. And I really see that the Mudokon race is falling apart too. Just seeing them falling for Mullock's plan, makes me want to jump into the story and slap Mullock dead.

[Fred]

Don't worry about Molluck Slaveless. You know that the Mudokons obtain their revenge in Abe's oddysee.