The Slig Parodies
A rather comedic story about two sligs, Yayap and Shnazul, who just can't do anything right. A fic originally produced by a non-OWF members, Zeroray (You rock!) So here it is, 'The Slig Parodies'
**WARNING** There could be a chance of a wee bit of swearing, don't flame me, please.
Yayap and Shnazul, two sligs with the IQ of a piece of crap. They are obsessed with Mudokon loincloths, but can't get any due to the fact they suck at killing anything. Yayap of that being the stup-...no, Shnazul, even an idiotic name was awarded to such a failure of a slig. Our two sligs are employees at a company called Carient. Inc. With them is a Big Bro Slig called Shootu, a Vykker called Chipdo, and a small Intern called Stuff. This company is near the shoreline, and as well as near a Mudokon outpost.
Yayap sat on his reclining seat on the beach sipping at his lemonade whilst reading a comic. Two Mudokons on the cliff above him were surveying the area when they saw him, the two Mudokons being Minv and Jed.
"What's he doing now?" Jed asked.
"Sitting drinking lemonade, reading a comic, that's all he ever does, all the time." Minv replied.
"Oh? What comic is it?" Jed asked again in his annoying voice which was about to drive Minv up the wall.
"It's Captain Scrabicle." Minv replied, not looking at his un-poserish buddy.
"Hey, I had one of them near my stump but when I came back it....hey wait a minute, he stole my comic!" Jed shouted aloud.
Minv rolled his yellowish eyes, looking like a small black ball lost in a yellow abyss. "No shit, sherlock."
Everything went peaceful before Chipdo's silver tongued voice rang aloud the area. "All of Carient personell report for a special meeting!" Oh yes, SPECIAL meeting, the last meeting was cancelled because Yayap tried to draw on the board and broke one of his legs off. In a few minutes the whole team, Yayap, Stuff, Shootu and Chipdo were here. "All right, wait...where's Shnazul?" Chipdo asked. Yayap stood up.
"Oh, he apologised he couldn't be here. He is currently lost in the basement." he said.
"But...the basement is only one room...and one door." Stuff reminded.
Yayap shrugged. "Like I said, he's lost."
Chipdo just looked at the slig, and shook his head. "Anyway, our infa red sensors show a Mudokon campsite near here at the cliffs, the Cartel have sent in a tank for us to handle the suitation."
Shootu raised his humongous hand. "Is it pink, like the others we used?"
"Yes, I don't understand why our weapons and vehicles are pink either, are we somekind of homosexual group or something? I painted it red anyway. It's cool." Chipdo informed them.
"Can I drive it?" Yayap asked.
"No! Do you remember what you did to our fighter jet?" Shootu reminded the zero intelligent slig.
Yayap started to go into a flashback. He stared in awe at the new sandwich...
"No, not that one!" Stuff shouted. Yayap shook his head and began to think again. Yayap looked at the new fighter. He despised the girly colour, but with triple machine guns and a missile barrage...he could blow the whole world up with that. His destructive thoughts were interupted by another slig behind him. "Yo, Yap!" Yayap turned around to greet Shnazul. "Oh hey, Shnazul."
"Wow, cool fighter! Can you fly it?" Shnazul asked.
"No, can you?" Yayap asked him.
"Nope." Shnazul replied dryly.
Both of them just stared at it before Yayap's voice ran aloud. "It's mine..." he declared. He jumped into the cockpit trying to lose Shnazul, he flew out of the hanger accidently releasing a missile and destroying the hospital. He flew at a high altitude, it began to fall.
"10, 9, 8, 7." a robotic voice said. Yayap was panicking, finding the source of the voice. "6, 5" it got louder. He was sweating bricks now. "4, 2,"
"Hey, what happened to 3?" Yayap asked.
"Oh, you can count? Heh, I put that on show. My bad." a cool female voice said.
"Oh..." Yayap started to calm down. "3, 2, 1."
Yayap fell from the cockpit, right after it crashed into the command center. The last thing was then himself being dragged away by Chipdo. He is back in Carient.
"No, I don't remember that." Yayap said.
Shnazul burst in the door, scaring everyone out of their wits, not that they jumped because of his entrance, due to the fact he chewed his way through the outer wall and ran back inside. "When's lunch?" he asked.
"It's only 1 o' clock, you idiotic idiot." Chipdo snarled.
"Sooooo, what time is it?" Shnazul asked.
Chipdo was going to kill him. "Stupidity is the one thing I can't tolerate. Uggrgh!"
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OOC: Well there it is, like it so far? Post your comments here. If you like it, I'll write the next chapter. Bye.
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Signatures are useless, so this one was placed to decrease the uselessness.
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