The Joke thread -

Strike Witch · #**181** 09-29-2009, 11:57 PM

Yeah, it's comparable to Cream telling us about happy tree friends.

Leto · #**182** 09-30-2009, 12:37 AM

exactly the same.

Strike Witch · #**183** 09-30-2009, 04:22 AM

loool its so funny an cute >:3

OANST · #**184** 09-30-2009, 07:01 AM

Have you guys heard about Pulp Fiction?

I don't know where that was going. I just wanted to belong.

Josh · #**185** 09-30-2009, 07:44 AM

:

it's not that they're sick, it's just that we've all grown out of explosm

I'm not getting them from there.

Rickroll

Leto · #**186** 09-30-2009, 01:40 PM

nice defense!

it doesn't matter at all where they're from, it's the style of humor they are.

Pilot · #**187** 09-30-2009, 09:11 PM

*yawn* god how can a thread be so unfunny yet so popular at the same time. Seriously, let's get this party started.

used:) · #**188** 09-30-2009, 10:06 PM

You're saying you haven't found anything funny in this thread so far?

I agree though, it's starting to sink. Stop being unfunny people!

Here's a joke you'll only get if you know Spanish:

Hay dos peces en el mar. Que dijo la primera a la otra?

Nada.

^Probably wrong

Sekto Springs · #**189** 10-01-2009, 03:02 PM

I'm just waiting for Mat to liven up this thread. His jokes aren't clever, they're just on par with my sick sense of humor.

Josh · #**190** 10-01-2009, 11:41 PM

News headline: Madonna " Remarry? I'd rather be hit by a train "

Madonna will you marry me?

Strike Witch · #**191** 10-13-2009, 12:24 AM

My job is insane. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with.

First, there is this supermodel wannabe chick. Yeah okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brainpower to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of one to ten. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her womanly parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the hugging stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 60's, and to make things worse, he brings this big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the secondhand smoke. Hell, sometimes I think it's even trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single hugging day.

Anyways, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

Leto · #**192** 10-13-2009, 03:26 AM

What do you do when you've touched your daughter one too many times?
Stow her in a drain pipe and see how much other people's time and resources you can use up before they find her

***Nate*** · #**193** 10-13-2009, 04:03 AM

:

What do you do when you've touched your daughter one too many times?
Stow her in a drain pipe and see how much other people's time and resources you can use up before they find her

Might be a bit obscure for most of the forum's population. On the other hand, the first moment that Australian media mentioned that there was a little girl missing in your country was when she was found dead. Not even sure yet why that made the news over here.

And only because your post reminded me of it: I read an article today about a father who hadn't seen his daughter since she was three, ten years ago, tracking her down over facebook. All of which was fluffy happiness, until he tried to seduce her via facebook messages.

She told her mother, who called the police and they lured him to a public place and arrested him. Which means a happy ending for everyone but the attempted incestuous paedophile.

Josh · #**194** 10-13-2009, 08:26 AM

I posted this joke three weeks ago.

Fucking Royal Mail.

MeechMunchie · #**195** 10-13-2009, 08:47 AM

Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Not Madeline McCann.

Also, a joke advert from Monty Python's Big Red Book (It's blue).

Do YOU suffer from spots, blackheads, scabs, acne, ulcers, boils and pustles?
Eurgh.

OddjobAbe · #**196** 10-13-2009, 08:55 AM

:

Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Not Madeline McCann.

I read this on one of my occasional visits to Encyclopædia Dramatica. Some were horrible, so horrible that they were pretty funny. Some were juts boring.

Have I told my shih-tzu joke yet?

MeechMunchie · #**197** 10-13-2009, 08:59 AM

Zoo with no animals?

Josh · #**198** 10-13-2009, 09:00 AM

Or "What do you get when you get when you cross a Bull with a shih-tzu? Bull Shit."

OddjobAbe · #**199** 10-13-2009, 09:02 AM

:

Zoo with no animals?

I take it that I have (or was that a good estimate?).

MeechMunchie · #**200** 10-13-2009, 09:08 AM

Sorry, could you rephrase that?

OddjobAbe · #**201** 10-13-2009, 09:13 AM

I take it that I have already posted it. If not, I take it that that was a decent estimate.

MeechMunchie · #**202** 10-13-2009, 09:16 AM

I've just heard the joke many, many times before in general.

OddjobAbe · #**203** 10-13-2009, 09:18 AM

Really? I've never really heard it that much. I got sent it in an e-mail, and have never seen it elsewhere.

MeechMunchie · #**204** 10-13-2009, 09:22 AM

I've seen it on cards and tshirts, so it gets around pretty quickly.

Leto · #**205** 10-13-2009, 11:55 AM

:

Might be a bit obscure for most of the forum's population. On the other hand, the first moment that Australian media mentioned that there was a little girl missing in your country was when she was found dead. Not even sure yet why that made the news over here.
.

the news was huuuuuuge in ireland apparently, because the father was irish. i was surprised the news made it out of nz at all really.

Dixanadu · #**206** 10-13-2009, 12:02 PM

Tempting to post Stephen Gately jokes, but they might upset the gay populace on teh forum.

used:) · #**207** 10-13-2009, 12:07 PM

How do you fit four gays on a bar stool?

Turn it upside down.

Dixanadu · #**208** 10-13-2009, 12:11 PM

Despite the spoiler text, I mainly laughed at the joke I heard because it was so stupid. Plus, it had lots of Irish shit in it so I don't think many of you would get it anyway.

shaman · #**209** 10-13-2009, 12:21 PM

What does a man with a twelve inch penis have for breakfast?

Well this morning i had toast.

Leto · #**210** 10-13-2009, 12:28 PM

see i would've said a french breakfast.