Oddworld Forums > Zulag Three > Fan Corner


 
Thread Tools
 
  #61  
05-06-2009, 08:23 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

CHAPTER 15

BEER STAINS OF THE HEART

‘The Rotten Barrel’ pub was smoky and reasonably noisy with slig chatter. Nox made his way to the bar to see the mudokon bartender behind it.

“Alright mate?” He asked.

“Yeah, get me a pint would ya’.” Nox said wearily, wanting to get started soon.

“Ok.” Was his reply.

Before he knew it, a pint of beer was before Nox, and the new challenge was trying to find a seat at one of the old, wooden tables in there. Then he noticed a friendly face that he hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Hey Nox! Over here!” Stollin beckoned, sitting at a table with Wrask.

Nox immediately obliged.

“How yeh doin’?” Wrask asked as Nox slopped his beer onto the table.

“Oh you know, my minds everywhere at the moment.” He said, sitting on a stool.

“We’ve missed ya’, Nox! How was prison?” Stollin questioned happily.

“Kept my head down, got a few beatings, nothin’ like the ‘D&M’ war, though.” Nox answered.

“Here,” Wrask said, handing Nox his beloved rifle, “I kept it safe for yeh.”

“Oh thanks!” Nox replied graciously, grabbing it without a moments hesitation.

“It’s already loaded, so watch it.” Wrask said.

“I tried to appeal against your case when I heard they were dumpin’ murder onto ya’, but they wouldn’t let me.” Stollin informed.

Wrask lit up a cigarette, looking sideways at Stollin.

“Oh well,” Nox began, placing his rifle onto the table to join Wrask and Stollin’s, “Its over now. Done and dusted.”

“Too right,” Wrask added with anexhalation of cigarette smoke, “But anyway, back to the old waterin’ ‘ole, ey?”

“Yeah,” Stollin joined, “We knew you’d come here. Well, nowhere else to go, is there!”

“Nope.” Wrask said.

Nox took a good swig of his pint, wetting his mouth in a frenzy of bitter taste.

Ah, that’s better…

He then noticed that Wrask and Stollin also had their own drinks, half drunk.

“You been here long?” Nox asked.

“No,” Wrask replied. “Not long before you.”

They’re lying…do ‘em over son!

And at that particular thought, Nox remembered something he wanted to ask them both.

“You know the ‘D&M’ war?” He started.

“Yeah?” Stollin said.

“Well…do you get these funny thoughts sometimes? Like something constantly bugging you…a voice?”

They wont know, shit-head!

“I don’t. Why? You get ‘em?” Stollin asked Nox, looking concerned.

“…Yeah.”

“Jeez! You told anyone about this?!” Wrask gasped in a puff of smoke.

“Well…no. the judge sorta’ worked out that I had post traumatic stress; he was a Vykker.”

“Yeah, and if yeh tell anyone about this, you’ll be seein’ a whole load more o’ them!!” Wrask informed urgently, stopping only to take another drag of his cigarette, “They’ll lock yeh up an’ throw away the key in some loony bin lab place, crawlin’ with Vykkers!”

“You had a Vykker judge? What happened to the Chroniclers?” Stollin asked, too far behind the conversation.

“Didn’t yeh read the paper that day? They’ve had a dispute with the Magog Cartel or summat. Gone on a sorta strike.” Wrask told Stollin, slightly annoyed by his lagging in conversation.

“So you don’t have these voices or anythin’?” Nox said, feeling alone. Wrask hesitated, and looked at him. “You do, don’t ya’!” Nox asked desperately.

“Yeah, but keep it down! Don’t wanna get locked up!” He said, looking around himself suspiciously.

That’s when Nox remembered his previous friend, Glon, and his paranoid antics.

“I don’t.” Stollin said, breaking the short silence between Nox and Wrask.

“Then you were lucky.” Wrask remarked, taking the last drag of his cigarette, before stubbing it out on the wooden table.

They drank quietly for a moment, listening to the bustle of the other sligs in the pub, all drinking, smoking or pursuing some sort of unhealthy leisure. Then Stollin broke it again.

“Loke’s ok.” He aimed at Nox.

Suddenly realizing what had happened months previously, Nox took sudden interest.

“Oh good!” He said, “I had a funny turn…like a flashback, dunno why.”

“Yeah, I had one o’ them once,” Wrask told Nox, “Except I was in my sleepin’ bag at the time, but it felt too real to be just a bad dream, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Nox replied.

By this point, Wrask and Stollin had finished their drinks, and Nox had almost finished his. Stollin noticed this and said;

“I’ll get another round.”

“Cheers mate.” Wrask said, as Stollin picked up the empty glasses and headed off to the bar.

“Yeah, thanks.” Nox added, then Wrask leaned in close to Nox, and said with beer tainted breath;

“Stollin never tried to appeal against yeh case,” He told Nox hurriedly, before Stollin returned with the drinks. “In fact, he seemed a lot happier when he found out they’d dumped murder onto ya’. No joke.”

“What on…shit…” Nox stammered, attempting to take in what Wrask had just told him, and downed his last glug of beer. This meant that Stollin lied about apparently appealing against his case when he heard murder had been charged.

“But why?!” Nox asked desperately, trying to get an answer before Stollin returned.

He felt like grabbing him right there and then and shaking him until he got all the answers he wanted. Why are you complicating my life? Why are you saying this shit?! Why?!

WHY!!

“I don’t know, but I don’t like whatever game he’s playin’.” Wrask pulled out a box of Lungbuster cigarettes, picked out another, lit it up, and conformed he was a chain smoker.

“Ey up, lads!” Stollin yelled, merely adding to the background noise of the pub, and setting down three pints of beer onto the table. There was involuntary silence among them.

“What’s up? Have I done something wrong?” Stollin questioned as he sat back down, not sure if Nox and Wrask were joking or not.

“No…” Wrask began. “I was just tellin’ Nox about that little gang Loke hangs around with when he’s not shirkin’ his work.”

“Oh, right motley crew they are!” Stollin told Nox, who was too caught up in the last few moments to take anything in.

He was exhausted, mentally and physically. Rest was what he needed…but a few more drinks before hand…

The night went on; drinks were drunk, cigarettes were smoked, and some songs were sung…out of tune, mind. By the time Nox and his friends had reached their fifth pints, they were talking that infamous ‘drunken speech’, about anything and everything, but mostly crap. Last orders were called, and Nox looked at his watch, generously tipsy. 11:59 pm. Time for sleep.

Nox, Wrask and Stollin left ‘The Rotten Barrel’ pub, with a few other pissed up sligs, and headed for their bunker. One that Nox hadn’t slept in for three months, #049 to be precise…again.

They staggered dangerously close to the edges of the metal walkway, lingering over the many poles that held up the worker tents below. Nox and Wrask had forgotten their little conversation, with the absence of Stollin, three pints ago, and were most definitely merry.

Once Nox and his friends reached the bunker, they entered in hushed style, attempting not to wake the sligs that hadn’t been out all night, drinking. There weren’t many, but a few. They made their way to their lockers to lock up their robotic legs, and that’s when Nox realized he hadn’t dared take his off for over three months. Then, in his drunken state of mind, he noticed someone missing from one of the sleeping bags, among a few other empty sleeping bags.

“Where’s Dran?” Nox whispered to Stollin.

“Didn’t we tell you? He died a couple of days ago. In his sleep.” He put one hand on Nox’s shoulder and said, “I’m sorry Nox.”

Another mental blow.

-----
back at the old Rotten Barrel pub. not many chapters left now.
Reply With Quote
  #62  
05-06-2009, 09:55 AM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

The Mudokon child thing was such a great plot twist, I was really surprised about that. How did the Mudokon egg manage to make it to the prison in the first place?

Didn't Nox say he was going to try and escape as soon as he got in? Or did he not manage to think of a plan before he was freed?
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live

Reply With Quote
  #63  
05-06-2009, 10:08 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

yeah, the mudokon egg thing will be explained when i post the character profiles.

also, he was going to escape, your right, but when he discovered the child he decided against it as it would be too dangerous for the kid.
Reply With Quote
  #64  
05-06-2009, 10:15 AM
STM's Avatar
STM
Anarcho-Apiarist
 
: Jun 2008
: Your mother
: 9,859
Blog Entries: 161
Rep Power: 27
STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)
Oddworld Co story

Hey MA, I also wrtie stories but since im newer i havent had so many hits however, i noticed you viewed mine, I took the time to view your and i am hugeley impressed, you have a fantastic knack for literature and I would like to see some more.

However, your speech does ramble a tiny bit almost as if you've lost your place a few times, I get that to its hard.

Here's my proposititon would you care to go int oco producing a story with me. If you would like ot think about it or disucss, send me a private message, id ddeply appreciate it, PS all, could you see my posts if you liked his I hope to follow in a shadow of his.
__________________
:
Oh yeah, fair point. Maybe he was just tortured until he lost consciousness.

Reply With Quote
  #65  
05-06-2009, 10:34 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

thanks for reading, and i think you might be onto something there, i do ramble a bit.

the more the merrier.
Reply With Quote
  #66  
05-08-2009, 11:15 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

CHAPTER 16

GRIEVANCES

The next day, Nox awoke with a sore head as the buzzer went off. 6:00 am, work as usual. He unfolded his metal legs from within the locker, and got into them. Once again, he felt the sting of cold metal on his tail and back. Then his situation dawned on him.

The drunken nightmare of the night before had been real. His friend had lied to him for an unknown reason, and Dran was dead. He couldn’t believe the old fella was really gone. No more half-deaf one way conversations with him. Nox’s old war hero who had shown him the ropes during the ‘D&M’ war was gone.

Eventually, Nox made his way to the café for breakfast, and sat at a table, eating, whilst watching the M.O.M. news.

“Research is being put into new types of slig,” The TV reporter slig droned, “One will be able to fly, using a propeller or flapping device, and another will be given steroids to increase muscle growth, ultimately called, the Big Bro slig. Prices are sketchy, but Vykkers Labs are…” It went on, but Nox wasn’t listening. That’s when Stollin and Wrask walked through the door of the café.

“How are yeh?” Nox asked them both.

He received two nods. They got their food and sat with him.

“You heard this?” Stollin started, pointing at the television in the top corner of the room. “Flying sligs my arse! The day sligs fly is the day I die…hey, that rhymed!”

“You ‘aint heard the best of it,” Wrask joined, “They’re talkin’ about Big Bro sligs or summat, apparently they’ll be three times our size, and built o’ nothin’ more than muscle and bone! Vykkers, huh…lunatics, the lot of ‘em.”

Wrask and Stollin looked at Nox, bemused by the look of sorrow on his face.

“What’s up, Nox?” Wrask asked.

“I just cant believe the old slig’s gone.” Nox replied, looking down at the table.

“Well, at least he don’t need to worry about work no more. Try an’ think of the good side.” Stollin said, genuinely concerned by Nox’s obsessive behaviour.

“Yeah,” Nox said. “I spose your right.”

The day went on, and the days began to merge together like one, long, drunken period. Nox adjusting himself to the work of a Slig Barracks soldier once more; assigned to different posts every week and guarding various area’s. He visited the child often, every night before the pub, in fact. He was still unsure on how to get the kid out into the wilderness with other mudokons.

The daily grind was back, and with a vengeance. Nox was beginning to lose strength of mind, every night getting slaughtered, but always visiting the mudokon child before hand; once in the mornings, and once at night, sneaking food in for the kid. Then, one particular night, in ‘The Rotten Barrel’ pub, Nox met a slig lieutenant.

Nox was drinking yet another pint of beer at the bar with Wrask (Stollin was on night shift), when he heard a slig shout his name. He turned to se a slig with three stripes tattooed onto his arm and wearing an officers cap, looking at him, soon leaning on the bar next to him, his glass in hand.

“I hear yeh just got back from prison.” He said, avoiding Nox’s penalizing gaze.

“Yeah, a couple o’ weeks ago. What’s it to you?” Nox replied rather aggressively.

“Easy, easy! Look, I just thought you’d like a bit of good fortune. I heard a friend of yours died recently as well…Dran, wasn’t it?”

At the mention of Dran’s name, nox grabbed the lieutenant and pushed him against the bar, face close to his own.

Kick his head in son!!

“I said, what the fuck is it to you?!” Nox growled, slightly intoxicated and not caring for his actions.

The pub fell silent. The bartender mudokon thought better of it and walked over to them from behind the bar.

“Now now, lads. Lets keep it sociable shall we.” He said nervously, attempting to get between them, to no avail.

Silence hung in the pub, many sligs watching Nox’s every move.

HA HA HA!! That’s it my son!

Nox looked around, and slowly released his grip of the lieutenant. The pub chatter was back as quickly as it had gone.

“Look mate –”

“I’m not your mate.” Nox snapped back.

“Look, I just came to say that I could get you a militaristic promotion, but if you’d rather stand here drinkin’ –”

“Ok!” Nox butted in. “Tell me about it.” He said, staring into his half filled pint glass.

“Well,” The slig lieutenant said, suddenly more interested and leaning in towards Nox. “Seeing as you were in the whole of the ‘D&M’ war…that’s right, ‘aint it?”

“Yup.” Was his humble reply.

“Well,” The lieutenant stammered, struggling to gain ground. “If you started an appeal for your own case, seeing as you’ve received no promotion as of yet…is that right?”

“Yup.”

The lieutenant cleared his throat.

“Erm, well…err, oh yeah, you can appeal for your own case of having received no promotion as of yet since your input during the ‘D&M’ war, and they’ll give ya’ at least sergeant just to shut you up!”

Nox looked at the lieutenant, his face seemed genuine. Something Nox wished he saw more of.

“Why would they do that?” He asked wearily, as he began to stare into his pint glass again.

“It’s paperwork, you see! They’ll do anything to avoid all the paperwork! Seeing as there’s only three slig captains in the whole of Slig Barracks, and there the ones that have to do it for the glukons, they try their best to avoid it. And believe me, there’s a lot less paperwork in giving someone a promotion than denying it! You wont lose!”

Nox continued to stare into his glass, taking all the information in that he had just been given.

The lieutenant looked uneasy for a second.

“Well?”

“Why are you tellin’ me this?” Nox asked, possibly not able to convince himself that someone was actually trying to do him a good deed for once.

“Because, sligs stick together.” He replied earnestly.

Nox was reminded of prison life, and how sligs formed their own gangs against the mudokon ‘scum’. He shook his head in sorrow for his friends still stuck in that dreadful place.

“What? Don’t ya’ believe me?” The lieutenant asked, slightly confused.

“Right, that’s enough!” Wrask stepped in. “Clear off you! We were fine drinkin’ here ‘till you arrived!”

“No.” Nox intervened. “He’s right. Tell me,” He said, turning to face the lieutenant. “What are the details?”

The slig lieutenant proceeded to tell Nox everything in his knowledge to help him cut corners and receive a promotion.

“They’ll make you a sergeant at least!” He said afterwards.

Nox still had his half filled glass of beer to be drunk, that was now warm. But more pressing matters were at hand.

“Wouldn’t you wanna’ do it as well?” The lieutenant asked Wrask.

“No…no way. Too much hassle.” He replied bluntly as he took another swig of his drink.

“What will it give me, anyway?” Nox questioned.

“Well, it’ll give yeh more free time, and smaller working hours.”

Lage!

Nox remembered the kid, and how he’d be able to get it into the wild with some natives if he had more spare time. He immediately set himself for this task.

-----
thought i'd post another chapter for those who want to read it over the weekend.
Reply With Quote
  #67  
05-08-2009, 02:09 PM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

Thanks. I'll read it overnight and get back to you
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live

Reply With Quote
  #68  
05-10-2009, 01:00 PM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

CHAPTER 17

THE PLAN

The next day, Nox took the liberty of going to one of the captain’s office’s during breakfast, and told the secretary mudokon there about his appeal.

“You’d best go right on through.” He told Nox, gesturing at a door to Nox’s left from behind the desk.

Nox knocked on the door, and after no reply, went in. the captain was talking on the phone, and gave Nox a signal to sit down at the seat in front of his desk as he spoke.

“Yeah, well get one of Dripik’s juniors to handle it, we’re a bit swamped here…yeah…yeah, well I told them that…yeah…of course, yeah…ok…gotta’ go…ok, bye.” He whittered as Nox sat down, then slamming the phone onto the hook. “How can I help you son?”

“Err, I’ve launched an appeal for my own case about not receiving a militaristic promotion during the ‘D&M’ war.”

The captain just stared blankly at Nox.

“I was hoping I’d receive a promotion for it.”

“And…what do you want me to do about it?”

“Well…there’s less paperwork involved if you just give me the promotion, ‘aint there?”

“Oh I see!” The captain exclaimed. “Who’s told you that? Some buddy of yours?! We don’t give out promotions to everyone you know!” He said bitterly.

“Hey!” Nox yelled, feeling his old friend, anger, begin to slowly bubble up inside of him again. “I survived the whole war! This is the least you could do! Wouldn’t you prefer less paperwork?!”

the captains face-tentacles twitched spitefully.

“In your case…I’d gladly do more paperwork than let you become anything more than a private.” He said nastily.

Blow yer top, sonny! Heh heh heh…

The anger was growing worse, but Nox caged it, and let go. He thought about the captain of his platoon during the ‘D&M’ war, the one with the Clakker accent, and wondered if he was still here, as one of the remaining captains of Slig Barracks.

“Where did all the good captains go?” He asked, knowingly winding the captain up. “That one with the Clakker accent, he served with me during the war. Can I speak with him?”

“You mean Farlin. He died in the war; mortar round. Seems your luck’s ran out.” The captain barked.

Another one down…

“Well,” Nox began, standing up to leave. “I spose this has been a waste of my time.”

“Yeah…yeah that’s it! Just go! Your little dreams been shattered!” He yelled insanely at Nox as he reached the door, savoring the chance to belittle another soldier.

Nox reached the door, and although he wanted to put his fist through it, didn’t, and calmly opened it, stepped outside and closed it again, leaving the captain shouting behind the door. It felt good to keep his cool while the captain lost his head.

Nox didn’t know what the secretary mudokon was thinking, but he certainly gave Nox a strange look as he performed a double take between him and the noisy door.

Time passed; days went by, soon turning into weeks, only highlighted by small activities happening here and there on Nox’s very own timeline. His sanity losing its small and slippery grip.

One afternoon, after work at 10:01 pm according to Nox’s watch, he was doing his usual visit of the mudokon child in the old warehouse, when Nox stumbled across a loaded pistol. It was heavy and large, much to a sligs appeal.

“Have you been playing with this?!” Nox asked the child, worried that he may have been a bad carer.

The kid looked at the gun and smiled.

“Yeah, a slig left it here yesterday, not long after you went!” The child told Nox happily, then noticing the worry on his face. “I hid, though.” It added, quickly.

“Do you know what this is?!” Nox asked, slightly hysterical at the prospect that the kid could of blown its own brains out accidentally.

“Yeah. It’s a gun, isn’t it?” The child said, innocently.

Innocent…

“Yeah! And what do guns do?” Nox asked, attempting to teach the kid a lesson.

“Err…kill?”

“Yes! So why were you playin’ with it, Lage?”

“Sorry uncle. I was bored.” The child replied sadly, bowing its head.

“Hey,” Nox started, fussing the top of the mudokon child’s head. “Don’t worry about it.” This was received with a glowing smile.

Nox proceeded to sit against the wall as the lights flickered on automatically, and the kid played with some stones on the floor just ahead of Nox.

The kid then ran to a corner of the warehouse, and ran back to Nox with something. It was an elum-skin holster for the pistol.

“Here you go, uncle. He left this as well.” Lage said.

“He sure did leave a lot o’ stuff! You sure he ‘aint gonna’ come back?” Nox asked Lage.

“I heard him talking about storing loads of guns or something. What does he mean, uncle?”

Nox groaned. “Sounds like he’d gonna’ start storin’ illegal weapons an’ ammo here. Don’t you go touchin’ any of ‘em again, you hear?”

“Yeah, uncle. Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry until you do somethin’!” Nox joked. Lage’s mood lifted slightly.

Nox attached the holster onto his robotic leg, and then looked at the pistol more closely. It was an MK 7 Magnum; one of the largest pistols in the market…especially the black market. It could hold eight bullets, and had a revolving mechanism rather than a clip. Nox placed the gun into his newly acquired holster, and looked at Lage happily playing with some stones again.

Not long after, Nox left the child again, and headed for ‘The Rotten Barrel’ pub. Another session of drinking.

Mid session, the slig lieutenant called Nox’s name, and invited him over to the bar from the table he was sitting at with Stollin and Wrask. He did so.

“How’d it go? I don’t see no stripes?” He asked, drink in hand.

“Ah,” Nox started in a depressed tone. “Not so well.”

“Didn’t he give it yeh? Jeez! And I thought they were lazy!” He replied, slightly stunned.

Nox just took another swig of his drink.

“You know, they’ll have to do twice as much paperwork now –”

“He said he’d gladly do it to avoid giving me any type of promotion.” Nox droned in a monotone voice of someone nearing the edge of cuckoo land. Another swig.

“Fuck!…That’s harsh, man.” The lieutenant said, putting one hand on Nox’s shoulder, then taking it off again. Nox stared at the bar.

“You still ‘aint told me yer name.” Nox asked, still in monotone, not really caring, but giving a show.

“Oh,” The lieutenant held his hand out to Nox. “Kanna.”

Nox shook it and said, still not looking at him. “Nox. Were you in the ‘D&M’ war?”

“Err, no sir.”

“No need to call me ‘sir’, ‘aint nothin’ but a private.”

“…No, I didn’t.” He replied again, this time unsure.

“I didn’t think so…you seem too good, too genuine.”

“Thank you sir!”

Nox tutted at the mention of ‘sir’, Kanna just looked down for a moment, seemingly embarrassed. They both had another swig, Nox finishing his own.

“How old are you?” Nox asked, putting his empty glass down onto the bar.

“…Five…yeah, that’s right. Five years old.” He answered.

“Huh, when I was your age I’d started fightin’ in the war. Worst thing I ever did…not that I had a choice.” Nox then turned to look down the bar, tying to seek out the bartender mudokon.

“Hey, pal!” He yelled upon sighting his target. “Can I get another here please?!”

“I’ll be with yeh in a mo!” The mudokon yelled back, trying to step between two rowdy sligs.

Nox set his sights down onto the bar again.

“If I were you,” He told Kanna. “I wouldn’t bother with low-life’s like me, or my chums. The only thing we’re good for is bullet fodder. And when the time comes, I’ve pissed off enough people to guarantee it.”

“No! Its people like you that I need to learn from!” Kanna attempted to persuade. “If that’s the case then what am I doin’ here?! I may as well shoot myself for all the good I’m worth! I gotta’ learn in case the time comes when I have to use my brain and trigger finger!”

“Your right!” Nox said suddenly, making Kanna jump. “Your fucking right! I gotta’…I gotta’ make a plan…what am I doing with myself?! Its now or fucking never!”

And with that, Nox left the bar, pushed his way out the door, got outside and made his way to his bunker, breathing in the cold, night air.

What yeh gonna’ do Nox? Eh? Eh?! Jump off the walkway? Blow yerself up? What?!

Nox eventually reached #049 bunker, and found that no one was inside, yet. He walked briskly over to his locker, pulled out his rifle, loaded it with one rifle bullet, and put it under his face-tentacles.

It’ll only take one bullet, sonny! Just one…just one incey, wincey bullet…heh heh…

“Come on Nox, come on…you ‘aint no coward Nox…come on.” He muttered to himself, breathing steadily growing faster.

Do it Nox! Do it!! What are yeh hangin’ around for?! Just fuckin’ DO IT!!

His breathing grew faster and faster, soon panting at the prospect of his suicide.

What about Lage, you selfish bastard?! What’s that poor kid gonna’ do?! And what's some slig gonna’ do to the poor kid if it gets found out?! Eh!!

Fuck the kid!! Just do it!! DO IT!!

No, you cant Nox! Your not getting’ rid o’ me that easy!!

BANG BANG, YOUR FUCKING DEAD!! NOW DO IT!!

“SHIT!!” Nox yelled, and pulled the trigger.

Bang.

-----
Tell me what you think folks!
Reply With Quote
  #69  
05-10-2009, 01:31 PM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

Wow, it's getting exciting now. I hope it has a semi-happy ending
I felt sorry for poor Dran as well. Oh well, he will live on in Nox's heart for sure
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live

Reply With Quote
  #70  
05-12-2009, 11:11 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

CHAPTER 18

THE SMEARS OF LIVING AND CLEANLINESS OF DEATH

The shot zipped a fraction of an inch past Nox’s head and into the ceiling, causing plaster crumbs to rain down on Nox briefly, then ceasing.

You couldn’t do it, could ya’? You fucking wimp…you disgust me…

That night, Nox went to sleep early, but not permanently. It was the last time he ever saw Kanna. Possibly a good friend lost.

♠♠♠♠♠

Nox’s behavior reached its peak, acting erratic and often violently, soon losing his grip on the real world altogether. It was no fun experience. A few days after his attempted suicide, Nox lost total sanity, and a revelation came about him once again, like in prison about the escape, but this one was much bigger.

It dawned on him during his working hours, in the afternoon. Suddenly…it was so crystal clear…just so…so obvious. He had to eliminate the captain that had turned down his promotion. He was the source of his misery. And if anyone got in his way, he would eliminate them also. No matter who they were. He set off for the captain’s office, his beloved rifle loaded up and ready to kill.

He knew what he’d do. He’d just be another slig asking for a promotion in the mudokon secretary’s eyes, he wouldn’t realize it was him. That was his free pass into heaven.

He reached the office, and said to the mudokon behind the desk;

“I’ve come to ask for a promotion.”

“Oh…go on through, he’s free. But –”

Nox looked at him.

Have I been caught out? Already?!

“You’ll have to leave that here.” He said, pointing at Nox’s rifle.

He’ll be fucking dead soon, pal…

He did as he was told, and left his rifle on the desk…the mudokon obviously hadn’t seen his pistol holstered on his leg.

He knocked on the door again, and as usual there was no reply, so he went on in anyway. The captain had his back to Nox, seated in his swivel chair, talking on the phone again. Nox sat down, and made himself comfortable.

“Yeah…yeah, I get yeh…yeah…” He turned to face Nox as he babbled down the phone.

Nox saw the moment he realized it was him. He must of thought he’d come to badger him some more.

“Yeah…can I phone you later, something’s just come up…ok, see ya’.” He said, then placing the phone back on its hook and standing up. “What the fuck do you want?!” He snapped rudely.

Nox merely said “A little politeness.” And at that moment he stood up, pulled his pistol out of the holster and fired it at the captain’s chest four times.

Each shot was loud and the gun recoiled in Nox’s hand as blood splattered over the desk and the well-used phone. He shook on the spot for a few seconds, and then dropped behind the desk.

Nox held his smoking pistol up for a while longer, admiring the silence, soon interrupted by a loud, whining siren. The alarms. Nox’s heart was already racing, and he felt nothing for having killed the captain or set off the alarms. He lowered his gun, and calmly walked over to the desk to look at the corpse lying behind it. The captain’s chest was now a bloody mess, much to the disapproval of him…if he were still alive. Nox took pleasure in this thought.

He then tipped the desk on its side, letting the blood-splattered phone and some stained paperwork fall to the floor with a clatter. Nox knelt behind it, and waited for security.

Soon enough, two sligs burst into the room, letting the door fall of its hinges in the ruckus.

“Freeze!” One of them shouted, to which Nox replied to with one carefully aimed shot, tearing its way through the sligs face-tentacles and into the slig’s neck, killing him instantly with a spurt of blood.

Nox then yelled “Hands up!” And to his own surprise, the second slig, now alone, did so, by dropping his rifle.

“Good lad…good, good lad.” Nox cooed gently, easing himself up from behind the desk. “Now as long as you don’t reach for ya’ gun, I’m not gonna’ fire, you hear?” He said, trying to bargain with the potentially dangerous slig.

Nox made his way out of the room, not letting its pistol lower from its target. He then reached outside the office, to see the mudokon back into his desk in fear, his hands up. Nox then fled the scene for the warehouse, totally forgetting his devoted rifle. It was now or never for Lage.

He reached the warehouse in an unusually short amount of time, to find two sligs already there, and they had Lage.

“What’s this little shit doin’ here?” One of them said, grabbing hold of the kid and shaking it.

“Where the hell’s it come from? I mean really?!” The other said.

The other slig then slapped the kid around the face, hard, and the child fell to the floor with a cry.

Nox’s anger bubbled up so strong this time, stronger than he’d ever experienced it. He’d protected this child through thick and thin, and there were these two bastards slapping the poor soul around for fun!

KILL THEM FUCKERS!!

He did so, and just let his rage take over. He picked out his combat knife that he hadn’t used in a long time, and had luckily found in his locker and stored in the metal compartment behind his robotic legs, and threw it with all his army expertise, making the throw pinpoint accurate.

It spun and sliced its way through the layer of fat behind the slig’s head, burying its blade deep, up to the handle, forcing its sharpened point through the slig’s skull and into the brain. He fell over, dead. That’s when the other slig, the one that had slapped the child, realized Nox was there.

Freeze you piece of shit!!” Nox yelled, aiming his gun at the second slig.

“Whoa, whoa!! I’m a slig! Like you!” He said, confused.

“You’ll never be like me.” Nox replied.

And with that, he fired one shot, which passed through the head of the slig, leaving a red mist behind it. He stood stiff for a moment, then fell over backwards. Dead.

“Uncle!” Lafe screamed as it ran towards Nox, terrified by all that it had just experienced.

“Don’t worry,” Nox said, picking the kid up with his pistol still in hand. “They’ve gone now. Nothin’ to worry about.”

“I was afraid you weren’t coming back! I thought they’d finally caught me!!” It sobbed hysterically.

Nox hushed the kid, and settled it down.

More shit-heads are gonna’ be here soon! Hurry!!

Nox set the child down, and immediately walked over to a panel on the wall; the circuit board for the alarms on the warehouse. He opened it, remembering all the bomb-deactivating lessons he’d received from Dran during the war. He pulled one wire until it snapped, and then crossed it over to another fuse. It set the alarms permanently active. Now if anyone entered the warehouse, they’d set off the alarms. Nox had to think what he was going to do next.

-----
almost at the end now! only one chapter left!
Reply With Quote
  #71  
05-12-2009, 12:38 PM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

The anticipation is killing me Can't wait to see how it ends.
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live

Reply With Quote
  #72  
05-12-2009, 02:57 PM
scipionyx's Avatar
scipionyx
Riot Slug
 
: May 2008
: Location.
: 585
Blog Entries: 2
Rep Power: 17
scipionyx  (399)scipionyx  (399)scipionyx  (399)scipionyx  (399)

good the story isn't finnished yet

I have no time to catch up... but soon there are holidays... so uhm... i just wanted to drop by to say I haven#t forgotten about this... it#s just that I don#t have time to read for a little while xD
__________________



˙·٠• The Captured Ones curretnly on hold •٠·˙
˙·٠•► .The Capturers. curretnly on hold ◄•٠·˙
˙·٠• W3-7 •٠·˙
˙·٠• OW-Art Thread •٠·˙

Reply With Quote
  #73  
05-12-2009, 03:09 PM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

thats good to know scipionyx, i'm gonna post the character profiles once i've posted the last chapter aswell, like i've already told AlexFili, so that'll probably give you some more time to catch up.
Reply With Quote
  #74  
05-12-2009, 03:25 PM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

Wicked. It would be funny to see a "Previously... on Glory Slig..." like on those american programs or books. If I ever make a videogame based on Glory Slig (with your permission in due time of course), you can guarantee it will be like Shawshank / Prison Break!
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live

Reply With Quote
  #75  
05-13-2009, 09:49 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

fucking A! that's a good mixture!

if you ever did we could come up with ideas for minigames to do during the main game, and be able to talk to the characters and stuff. that would be class.

i'll post the last chapter tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
  #76  
05-13-2009, 11:48 AM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

I can hardly wait. Can't believe that Nox went on a rampage. Let's hope he manages to sort his problem out before it all gets too much for him
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live

Reply With Quote
  #77  
05-14-2009, 10:28 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)
Sad the end...

CHAPTER 19

DANCING WITH THE DEVIL

How do I get this kid outta’ here?!

Go down blazin’ son! Shoot yer way out!!

Nox was still facing the circuit board, thinking, when someone put a hand on his shoulder. Who ever it was must of entered the warehouse before Nox had activated the alarms, due to the fact that they hadn’t been triggered. Nox spun around to see Stollin.

“Jeez! Don’t sneak up on me!” Nox blurted, panting slightly. “Why you here?”

Stollin was too busy looking at the two corpses and the mudokon child to answer at first.

“They were gonna’ kill Lage – err, I mean the kid.” Nox said, attempting to justify his actions.

“You…you’ve really lost it this time Nox.” Stollin said, examining the slig with the combat knife sticking out the back of his head. “And what the hell’s this?!” He said, pointing at the child.

“Uncle! Is he good or bad?!” Lage cried, still worried.

“I don’t know just yet…” Nox answered darkly.

“What? You gonna’ kill me as well?” Stollin said, turning to face Nox as he knelt over the second corpse. “I don’t think I’ve seen this many dead bodies since the war.”

“They follow me ‘round like a bad smell.” Nox replied truthfully, but wearily.

He holstered his pistol.

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“Well, I came because I heard there was some slig’s dealing in illegal weapons and ammo. Settin’ up their very own ‘black market’. Seems I’ve stumbled across somethin’ much bigger.”

“Look, you don’t know the half of it. I’m not workin’ for ‘em or anythin’, they had Lage, who I’ve been hiding here since I come out of prison. I had to save the kid!”

Stollin rose from his kneeling position over the corpse. “What have yeh done, Nox? You’ve gotten yourself into some shit ‘ere!” He said, struggling to take in the deaths. “Its not how it used to be, Nox. You cant just shoot people and expect to be rewarded for it, there’s just so much paperwork nowadays!”

At the word ‘paperwork’, Nox was reminded of the sticky, dead body he’d left in the captains office. He felt physically sick for a moment, then the feeling passed. Nox thought better of telling him about the captain; if he was reacting this badly about two nobodies, how bad would he react about a captain? Nox imagined his head exploding at the thought of it, and laughed out loud.

Stollin looked at him, fearing the worst. It was probably at this moment that he realized he was totally insane. Nox was thinking along the same lines.

“There’s something I need to tell you, Nox.” Stollin began, looking down at the floor, then raising his head again. “I don’t know why I feel the need to tell you this now, but it just seems right.”

Nox looked at him, trying to fathom what he was about to say.

“Nox, I never did try to appeal against your case when I heard they were charging you with murder. The truth is, during that night at ‘The Rotten Barrel’ pub, when you glassed that slig, he did die not long after; blood loss, the medics came too late. But the other slig that was murdered that same night…I killed him. I owed him a lot of money and I saw an easy way out. It was me. You took the rap for me.”

Nox’s world was literally turned upside down. He could not believe it.

“But…but why?” Was all Nox could say.

“I’m sorry Nox, I let you take the charge of murder so they’d stop investigatin’ the case, saving my skin.” He continued in a forlorn manner.

Kill that cheatin’ bastard!!

Yeah! Do ‘im over, son!

Nox pulled out his pistol, aimed it at Stollin and cocked the hammer back. Then, the alarms Nox had set up began to whine. Sligs must have entered the warehouse.

“I cant let you go, Nox. I’m sorry.” Stollin said, hating each word as they left his mouth.

It was do or die. Nox could either shoot his friend and escape with the kid, or not shoot him but get captured, and worst of all, condemn Lage to a lifetime of cruel slavery.

The alarms continued to whine.

“Uncle! No!!” Lage cried, running to Nox. “Don’t do it! Not again, please not again!!”

“I’m sorry too Stollin.” Nox said, thinking about the child and how it was more important to him than Stollin was.

He had to weigh up his possible decisions.

The alarms still blared. No couldn’t think straight.

Kill ‘im! Kill that fucker!!

Blow his fucking head off!!

Think…just THINK!

“I’ve got two bullets left, Stollin! Don’t think I wont do it!”

“Don’t Nox! I cant let you go! You need help!” Stollin shouted earnestly, trying to calm Nox down.

“You really think they give a shit about me here?! Like Wrask said, they’d lock yer up and throw away the key.” Nox counteracted, his pistol shaking in his hand, possibly at the prospect of killing his friend.

“They wont! I’ll appeal for your case!”

“Oh, like you did last time, you mean?! Fuck that!!” Nox yelled, keeping his gun aimed at Stollin, finger firmly on the trigger.

The alarms ceased.

A shot was fired, but no bullet left Nox’s gun chamber.

Nox turned around to see Loke and Wrask standing in the doorway of the warehouse, Loke holding a smoking rifle. Nox looked down at himself, to see a small, bloody hole in his ribcage. The rifle round had passed straight through him. There was no pain, oddly enough. Perhaps his adrenaline levels were so high they masked it.

Nox felt confused, lost balance and slowly fell over backwards, then lying down.

NOOO!!” Stollin screamed.

Stollin ran over to cradle Nox, his breathing becoming more laboured.

Why did Loke shoot me?

And, as if in answer to his thought, he heard Loke shout to Stollin, “I thought he was gonna’ shoot you!!”

“You stupid bastard!!” Wrask yelled at Loke.

“Uncle Nox!!” The child shouted, running over to see him.

Nox’s vision was becoming cloudy, but he could still see Lage’s head hovering over his dying body. It made him feel warm.

“Don’t worry kid,” Nox mumbled to Lage, stroking the kid’s head. “I’ll get someone to take care of yeh.”

The last thing Nox saw before he lost his sight totally, was Lage, beaming down on him, like some sort of angel. Nox couldn’t of wished for a better last sight.

Looks like this is the end…

You cant do this to me, Nox! You cant!!

He could still hear, and he heard them all talking over his body, not knowing what to do or where to take him. He was beginning to find it difficult to string together words in his mind, but he needed to ask them one last thing before he died. Nox put out his arm and grabbed someone.

He then pulled whoever it was towards his face and said, “Take…care of…the…fucking…kid!…You…hear me!!” He rasped.

“Ok, Nox. Its me, Wrask! Cant yeh see?”

“No.” Nox whispered.

“I’ll take care of the kid, don’t worry.” Wrask said in return as Loke and Stollin argued over where they were to take him.

“Guys!!” Nox yelled with a hacking cough, spitting out some congealed blood.

A coppery taste flushed his mouth.

“I’m sorry Nox. I thought you were gonna’ shoot ‘im.” Loke whimpered.

“Don’t worry…about…it.” Nox said, forcefully, his life force quickly leaving him.

“But where do we take him?! He’s gonna’ die!!” Stollin yelled.

“Don’t…want no…fuss. Just…leave…me…here.” Nox answered, beginning to feel light-headed due to his blood loss.

“Its too late…he’s gonna’ go…” Wrask said, voice wavering slightly.

“You…just make sure…you look after the…kid!” Nox said desperately.

“I will.” Wrask answered honestly.

“Swear…it!!” Nox struggled.

He felt someone he assumed to be Wrask grabbing hold of his hand, and saying;

“I swear. Don’t worry.”

A gentle squeeze.

Nox had given his last, dying wish. Now there was no need for him to live any longer. It was time to pass on, and fall into that everlasting sleep. He didn’t fear it. In a way, he’d longed for it. To rest eternally.

Nox passed away a few moments after, leaving his body and going to wherever it is life forces go after death. He was surrounded by his friends when he passed on, and that’s all he needed to complete his life.

Maybe Oddworld wasn’t quite ready for Nox. Maybe Nox was ahead of his time. Or maybe he was just some unfortunate slig down on his luck. But whoever he was, his friends made sure he received a proper hero’s funeral, Kanna pulling a few string up in the offices, despite Nox shooting a captain. He was a war veteran, after all. He would have been proud to receive the five gun salute they usually only gave to dead glukkons.

A plaque was placed at the bar of ‘The Rotten Barrel’ pub with his name engraved onto it. This was Loke, attempting to make peace with what he had done.

Rowl was shivved in a disagreement with another slig inmate over a packet of cigarettes, during the working hours in prison, and died due to blood loss. His last words were to Glon, and only Glon knew what he said.

Glon served his sentence and eventually returned to his old security job near Rupture Farms stockyards, leaving Billy. His paranoia became less and less after his release.

Billy the ‘bull-scrab’ is still serving his sentence, and was recently moved back to the chain gang for assaulting and killing a slig CO shortly after Glon was released. Billy himself doesn’t know how much longer he has on his sentence. Its possible that he could be left there until the end of his days. He refuses to mix with other inmates since Glon left.

Lage was looked after by Wrask and Stollin, and eventually, when the child reached six years of age, Stollin and Wrask snuck it out of Slig Barracks and bargained with mudokon natives a few miles south of their location. The mudokon natives told them that they were traveling to Necrum, and that the child would learn their ways of life.

Lage lived a long and fruitful life, never forgetting his previous uncles, Nox and Frally.

Nox, was certainly remembered.

THE END.

-----
well thats it, the end. its a bit sad, i know, but thats sometimes how things go. i never thought i'd manage to finish it before people got bored, but i was proven wrong. i must say i'm feeling rather satisfied that i finished it.

thank you to;

Oddey
~^_^~
Moosh da Outlaw
abe is now!
scrab queen
Tristan
Five
scipionyx
GlacierDragon
Scrabtrapman

for reading at some point, and a superduper thanks to AlexFili, who persuaded me to continue it in the first place. come on, plus rep the guy!

next i'll post a chapter that i originally wrote for the end of the courtroom scene, but scrapped for being a bit over the top. its quite stupid...and funny. you'll know what i mean when you read it.

also, i'm gonna post all the character profiles from Glory Slig for your interests and veiwing pleasure. they may cover a few plot holes aswell. then once i've done that i suppose this thread will pass away, a bit like Nox did.

AND if you have read this and wish to ask any questions, give me your opinions or simply wish to talk about it, but the thread is too old to reply to, just PM me, or email me. i'll be sure to get back to you.

now i'm going to crawl into a corner and cry.

thank you and good night!


Last edited by MA; 05-15-2009 at 08:55 AM.. : SPOILER
Reply With Quote
  #78  
05-14-2009, 10:32 AM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

Wow, thanks for the mention. In general, you told a meaningful story of a Slig. You fanfic stood out from the other ones that I have read and it certainly inspired me to write quite a few of my own stories.

Edit: The final chapter was both an exciting finale and a worthwile conclusion to an excellent series. The poetic justice reminds me of the Shakespeare stories in a way; When Nox is killed by the person that he accidently strangled at the beginning of the story. The plotpoint reminds me of a film but I can't think of the name of it right now .

I like the epilogue which explains what happens to the characters at the end of the story. In a way, the reason why Nox died was all because that stupid captain didn't give him a promotion. Oh well, that's quarma for you. One thing that did confuse me, didn't Nox already know about Stollin's betrayal from Wrask a long time before he told him?

I'm really curious as to what will happen now in terms of Slig prison-based fanfics. I'll post the first chapter of my Prison story sometime soon. Hope you like it .

What went through your mind when you killed the main character? I would find it quite hard to do that without a very good reason .
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live


Last edited by AlexFili; 05-15-2009 at 05:32 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #79  
05-15-2009, 08:54 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

yeah, Nox knew that Stollin hadnt appealed against his case, but Nox didnt quite realise that it was he who committed those murders.

i look forward to your new story AlexFili, i reckon it'll attract quite a few readers.

also, it was very difficult for me to kill off Nox, believe me, but given the situation he was in, and the fact he'd been on his guard constantly for so many years, i thought it was about time he let his guard drop. even if he did survive, he'd done so much wrong, and had so much pestering him upstairs, he would have had no decent life; considering the slighunt that would be issued for him and his schizophrenia. I think it was 'destined' for him to die in vain after everything, well not in vain, but in desperation to do what needed to be done (protect Lage).
Reply With Quote
  #80  
05-15-2009, 11:24 AM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

SligHunt. That should be a 18+/M rated game .

I could have thought of a few ways that he could have got out of there alive, but at the same time... it wouldn't have painted a realistic picture of Slig life.

It would make for an interesting game choice if you could choose to kill/spare Stolin, which would affect what ending you got. Right now I'm doing a kind of mass brainstorming session in my brain... I guess you could call it an explosion of words.

I'll try and keep all my projects going and not spend too much attention on one particular story. Four Dominions works quite well because a clan based Slig story hasn't really appeared yet, (except the native Slig clans occasionally seen). I think a prison officer story could work well, considering how many films/stories are from a prisoner's perspective. Although "The Green Mile" did show it from both sides.

A lot of the prison stories I have read so far are quite grim and dark in nature, which is probably reasonably true to real-life. However, when reading the responses I got from the Imadaeth story, I realised that adding violence doesn't necessarily make a story any more meaningful.

Excellent end to an excellent series. I'll try and do some fan-art of Nox sometime
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live

Reply With Quote
  #81  
05-15-2009, 01:20 PM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

that would be excellent AlexFili! i tried to draw a slig once and it ended up looking like a spider.

quite true about adding violence, i mean Slaskia wrote stories that contained hardly any violence, and she was a very popular writer on these forums at one time. and sometimes its has a greater effect on the reader if you only add violence unexpectedly and in moderation, otherwise the reader becomes desensitised to it.

i would love to own a copy of SligHunt.

anyway i'll post that deleted daft chapter tomorrow.
Reply With Quote
  #82  
05-17-2009, 08:55 AM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

right, this is the ridiculous original end to the court martial chapter. read and laugh.

“Sick bastard!!” A slig’s voice yelled from somewhere in the Witness seats, then soon enough, they were all shouting and pointing at Nox. All this anger directed at him, for something that was accidental. Nox was understandably taken aback from this sudden burst of hatred.

“Order! Order!!” The Vykker Judge shrieked whilst banging the wooden hammer almost manically. By this point the Law slig was idly walking around the Courtroom with his arms stretched out, looking up at the white, plastered ceiling and repeating loudly to himself “…the autopsy said he had broken face tentacles, it did, the autopsy said he had broken face tentacles…” chuckling every so often.

Just lappin’ up that praise, sonny, just lappin’ it up…you’ve really outdone yourself this time, Nox. Everyones throwing things at yeh. This is a fuckin’ Court Martial, it’s gone to shit!

Everyone became even more rowdy, some of the high ranking decorated sligs in the Jury stand were now beginning to shout insults at Nox, and the Witnesses were well on their way to throwing whatever they could get their hands on, even the ‘Law slig’s’ briefcase appeared briefly in the air, with papers and pens flying out of it, before the case it self hit the marble floor open and upside down with a sharp bang, paperwork spread all over the place.

“ORDER!! I SAID ORDER YOU FUCKING LUNATICS!! ORDER!!…SHIT!!” The Vykker Judge screamed above the horrendous noise.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG went the hammer, crazily.

Nox tried his best to cover his head from incoming paperwork and pencils, and heard the slig guard from behind him say;

“What in Odd…this is insane, this is getting out of control!” And he signaled to the others by the door to use force in order to withhold the peace. And just in time.

It was beginning to get more violent, and all inhabitants of the Courtroom (apart from the Glukkon Juniors, which had left the room before it got too dangerous) were throwing things at each other as well as Nox. It was mass hysteria! It seemed that they were enjoying the chance to just go mad until stopped, Nox had never seen anything like it. He never knew Court Martials could end up in an ‘office work’ brawl.

Chairs were starting to get flung around, and people seemed to had forgotten about Nox now. Mudokons taking their chance to beat sligs with the wooden chairs, whilst other sligs where fighting each other as well as everyone else. Even the poor typewriter slig had all of his hard work made void by some idiot mudokon who proceeded to throw the typewriter into the Jury stand, most probably hitting some high ranking Officer slig. The typewriter slig then lunged at the mudokon, and they both fell out of sight. Nox noticed the ‘Law slig’ run up to the slig that had objected multiple times during the trial, and simply sock him around the side of his head with his fist, to which the hardy slig counteracted with a punch directly into the ‘Law slig’s’ rib cage. The ‘Law slig’ then stumbled backwards, clutching at his chest. He fell to the floor while the other slig watched him and the chaotic battle raged on about them. It would appear the ‘Law slig’ had a broken rib, or ribs.

Look at that big wuss! Obviously he ‘aint done no service!

More sligs entered the surreal scene, come to restore peace, seeing as any chance of withholding it was long gone. That’s when Nox was escorted out of the Courtroom by slig guards, and when he saw a small, wooden hammer hurtle across the courtroom and smack a mudokon off the back of its head, which looked like it stung, judging by the mudokon’s pained expression and rubbing of his head, afterwards.

“ORDER!! OOOOOOOOOORDEEEEER!!! ODD DAMN IT!!” This is all Nox could here from down the corridor as he was frog marched back to his cell.

You aint gonna’ find no ‘order’ there sonny boy! Heh heh, oh yeah, what a finish to a truly shit career, eh Nox! Off to prison we go!!

They haven’t even passed sentence yet, theres still a good chance-

Is there fuck! Your livin’ in a dream world Nox, ‘bout time you woke up.

Oh just fuck yourself, go on! Just piss off! I’ve had enough of yeh.

…I don’t think so, Nox’y…

-----
i'm so glad i rewrote that, its embaressing. in my defence i was very tired at the time, thats why i never post a chapter once i've only just written it, so i can check it in the morning.

character prifiles tomorrow or the next day, and then this thread will have reached its end i think.

Last edited by MA; 05-17-2009 at 08:57 AM.. : forgot italics
Reply With Quote
  #83  
05-17-2009, 04:11 PM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

Thanks, I'll give it a read.

It was funny when they started throwing things at each other. It reminds me a bit of those scenes in action movies where the hero escapes when the villains fight each other.
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live


Last edited by AlexFili; 05-18-2009 at 01:07 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #84  
05-19-2009, 04:07 PM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

sorry about the delay, been occupied with SLIG'S WEIRD!
here's the first 5 in alphabetical order, i have most of them done but the next in line isn't done yet, if you know what i mean.

Billy’s profile:

NAME: Billy.

RACE: Mudokon.

CURRENT AGE: 22

OCCUPATION(S): Oil factory labourer 3 years.
Spare parts factory labourer 9 years.
(Currently in prison serving 30 year sentence).

LIKES: Prison food, sticking close to Glon.

DISLIKES: Arguments.

FEARS: Blood, someone harming Glon.

BOSS: Currently Captain Rolin and Sronti.

CHARACTERISTICS: Very quiet and submissive if left alone. When aggravated he becomes wild and most definitely deadly, having earned his nick name ‘The bull-scrab’ in the numerous riots he’s been involved in.

DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC(S): Very childlike.

DREAMS: His only dream is to be able to follow Glon everywhere, and never leave his side, even follow him to the grave. This kind of obsession cannot be healthy.

MOOLAH EARNED PER WEEK: None.

RANK: Inmate.

PAST EXPERIENCES: The reason Billy is in prison is due to the following experience; during his work at the spare parts factory he was called into the head office by two slig guards and was severely reprimanded, having been accused of thieving, which wasn’t true; he hardly had the intelligence. Someone had been stealing expensive engine parts, and it was costing the factory hundreds of moolah. The managers must have known that it must have been a group of sligs doing it and earning a bit of moolah on the side, but they couldn’t pin it to the perpetrator, and wanted to make an example, thus they used Billy. Billy was reprimanded via batons and fists by the two slig guards in front of the glukkon boss. Whilst on the floor, beaten and panting, something inside him snapped, and a red mist descended. He proceeded to incapacitate the two guards, who were even armed with rifles, by elbowing the one to his right in the stomach, using him as a shield as the other slig fired at his friend and killed him, attempting to hit Billy, who took the rifle from the now dead slig he was grappling and disposed of the other slig messily. The glukkon panicked, understandably, and he set off the alarms by stepping on the emergency pedal under his desk, but Billy advanced on the helpless glukkon anyway. Slig security burst into the room to see Billy sitting in a pool of blood behind an overturned desk, face, hands and forearms covered in blood, with the mutilated body of the glukkon boss behind him, his suit torn off (this could have sparked his fear of blood). Amazingly, slig security did not kill Billy, by this point he was very submissive and passive, and he was collected by official Magog Cartel Headquarters staff so he could stand trial, seeing as he had killed a glukkon and was not yet dead. The Magog Cartel is very corrupted (and corruptible), and so when they heard that this mudokon had killed a troublesome and incompetent glukkon that owned a small time business, they secretly thanked their lucky stars for their fortune, and simply sentenced Billy to serve a sentence in jail, rather than be executed. The glukkon Billy murdered was too low on the corporate ladder to have anyone pay for a thorough investigation. Billy has so far served 10 years imprisonment.

CRIMES (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER): 2 counts of murder.
Numerous counts of slig & mudslaughter.
Numerous fighting offences.

PHYSIQUE: Billy is a great, hulking form, covered in muscle and scars. He must weigh about 20 stone, and is nearing 7 feet in height. A born fighter. He wasn’t always this strong though; when he first entered the prison he was just very tall and lanky, making him a prime target. He developed such muscle mass when he worked on the chain gang, mining, for three years. Usually people are only sent down there for a week or a month at most, but Billy had committed yet another serious crime. Due to the prison’s small size, and Rolin’s poor paperwork ability, the crime Billy committed has been lost in a sea of files and red tape. Not even Billy can remember.

MENTAL HANDICAP (IF ANY): Billy acts very childlike at time, and this could be due to many reasons, but the most likely reason would be brain damage, if you take into account his lifestyle and history.

SUMMARISATION: Billy is someone you’d want on your side in a fight, brawl or riot. But putting his huge physique to the side, he wouldn’t be a very good talker seeing as he now see’s the world through child’s eyes, and thinks the same. Well, any conversation you did get out of him would most likely be one way or not make much sense.

DEMISE: He is still alive and is still serving his sentence in Sronti’s prison.

-----

Cossle’s profile:

NAME: Cossle.

RACE: Slig.

CURRENT AGE: 16

OCCUPATION(S): Slig Barracks recruit for 2 years.
Slig Barracks staff sergeant for 5 years.
Slig Barracks second lieutenant for 3 years.
Slig Barracks captain for remaining 6 years.

LIKES: Fist fighting, war in general, punishing other sligs (best suited him when he was a staff sergeant).

DISLIKES: ‘Nice’ sligs, requests for militaristic promotions, sligs disobeying orders.

FEARS: His rank being taken from him and having to share a bunker with sligs he has denied promotions.

BOSS: General Dripik.

CHARACTERISTICS: A very mean character, most sligs describe him as a ‘nasty piece of work’. He enjoys fighting (like many sligs), whether it be in the heat of battle, or just a scrap with a lower ranking officer. He will get to know a slig and learn all of his deepest secrets and dreams, only to uncover, shatter and deny them when the time comes. He truly does get a ‘kick’ out of being nasty. A very bad character.

DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC(S): Spiteful, ruthless and unforgiving, but not a liar.

DREAMS: He once dreamed of killing Farlin in battle during the ‘D&M’ war so that it looked like Maylon sligs killed him, as Farlin was his greatest, and only, adversary. A twisted dream for a fevered mind, but it seems that it all worked out for Cossle in the end.

He no longer had any dreams after this, or not enough time to think of some anyway, seeing as he was always swamped with paperwork due to all the new legal procedures Slig Barracks have to perform since the ‘D&M’ war.

MOOLAH EARNED PER WEEK: 200

RANK: Captain.

PAST EXPERIENCES: When Cossle was a staff sergeant he once beat a slig corporal to death during punishment for going ‘easy’ on mudokons. It was accidental, and he did it with his bare hands. The corporal was originally meant to receive 10 flogs, but he asked Cossle to ‘just get on with it, fucker’. Cossle lost his temper and beat him to a pulp with his fists, without the corporal even get a swing at Cossle. The rest of the details are sketchy at best, but one defining detail is that Cossle gave the corporal around 45 flogs with the flogging strap as he lay on the floor. It is unknown if the corporal died before he was flogged or not, but he had no reaction to the punishment when he finally received it. Cossle was promoted to second lieutenant a week or so after, obviously the captains of Slig Barracks at the time were impressed when they read the report.

During the ‘D&M’ war, Cossle and his platoon were involved in one of the most bloody battle’s of the war, even more fierce than ‘The Charge of Bunker D-14’. It was called ‘Fenton’s Last Stand’ as a large storage facility owned by a glukkon called Fenton decided to team up with Maylon and use his storage space to help house Maylon’s artillery and sligs. Of course it was heavily defended, and had already been assaulted by Roundtap platoon led by lieutenant Bost (called ‘Fenton’s Battle), but they were forced to retreat and were almost totally decimated thanks to the precariously placed machineguns on the storage facility’s perimeter. Cossle led his platoon, who were tired from having marched 35 miles non-stop to get there seeing as their transport trucks had been driven into the ground and were now obsolete (petrol tanks empty, tire threads worn down dangerously, and generally war torn and unstable. Slig Barracks didn’t have the resources at the time to send out fuel and mechanics or replacement transport), and they managed to blow a hole in the apparently ‘impenetrable’ fortress, thus treating the Maylon sligs inside to a fierce fire fight, and winning as they took them by surprise (they were under the delusion that no one could enter the facility). Cossle was ordered over the radio to kill the glukkon Fenton in any way he deemed fit as the glukkon was labelled a traitor, so Cossle, seizing his chance, decided to have him lynched in front of his platoon, much to their grim enjoyment. Cossle has probably gone down in history as one of the very select few sligs that have killed a glukkon and gotten away with it. I’m sure he was very proud with his actions before and after ‘Fenton’s Last Stand’. He may have been an angry and cruel slig, but he won one of the hardest battles in the ‘D&M’ war that no other slig, maybe even Farlin, would have been able to win. Therefore he played a major part in the war, and proved his ability on that day.

CRIMES (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER): Countless war crimes.
3 counts of murder.
2 counts of sligslaughter.
Countless fighting offences.

PHYSIQUE: Cossle is an average sized slig of average build, a little shorter than most sligs. He may not be much to look at but you wouldn’t want to cross him once you heard of his reputation, and it wouldn’t be long until you did. He has a long, thin scar running along his forearm from when he was slashed by a slig wielding a knife while he was still a recruit during his early years.

MENTAL HANDICAP (IF ANY): None, if not a slight anger management problem.

SUMMARISATION: From many slig’s points of view Cossle is ‘a right bastard’ (their words), but as ‘Fenton’s Last Stand’ proves, he was a very efficient slig captain. He deserved his rank whether other sligs think he did or not, he just needed to work on his socialising.

DEMISE: Nox killed Cossle in his office with a MK 7 Magnum. He shot Cossle four times in the chest from a short distance, and an accurate medical assumption would be that Cossle died after the third shot and was therefore dead before he hit the ground, due to the calibre and power of the pistol in question, even though the shots were fired in quick succession. The first two shots entered Cossle’s ribcage and pierced his left lung, the third shot entered the heart, ultimately finishing off Cossle, and the fourth and last shot (which you could call overkill) hit his breastbone, shattering part of it. A violent death probably suited Cossle best.

-----

Dran’s profile:

NAME: Dran.

RACE: Slig.

CURRENT AGE: 18

OCCUPATION(S): Slig Barracks recruit and war veteran (previously corporal).

LIKES: Conversations he can hear, telling young sligs about his war days.

DISLIKES: ‘Mumblers’, cocky sligs, glukkons (since they removed his rank).

FEARS: Being thought of as incapable, being forgotten.

BOSS: General Dripik

CHARACTERISTICS: Dran is almost deaf, so any conversations you have with him will most likely be one-way (this is due to a close encounter during the ‘D&M’ war, explained below). He is very old fashioned and believes all new sligs should be sent to some kind of war to toughen them up. He never eats breakfast because he believes it ‘slows you down’, especially if a firefight breaks out. Sadly, he is slowly being taken over by senility; this sometimes causes memory loss and feelings of great anger for no reason.

DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC(S): Half deaf, half mad, half dead.

DREAMS: Dran dreamt of reliving his war days with a younger body, to prove he could have been the best.

MOOLAH EARNED PER WEEK: 50

RANK: War veteran.

PAST EXPERIENCES: Dran once attempted to stop a charging platoon of ally sligs before ‘The Charge of Bunker D-14’, at the commands of his superior officer, captain Farlin. He was shot by one of the Maylon sligs from behind, merely causing a flesh wound, and was concluded to be a ‘lucky shot’. The platoon did not stop, despite all this. Moments before, he saved the life of Nox when he absentmindedly stood up and was almost shot to pieces (Dran pulled him back down).

Dran once, during ‘The Re-Take of Outpost 21’, was cornered by three Maylon sligs in an old office in the derelict factory. Dran killed all three suffering no wounds using his rifle at point-blank range, causing him to go deaf temporarily. This was the cause of his bad hearing and it continued to go downhill from there. You could say luckily, this was nearing the end of the war, so it didn’t really affect his performance.

CRIMES (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER): Numerous war crimes.
Numerous drinking offences.

PHYSIQUE: Dran may look old and frail but in his hay day he was a very fit, capable slig. Years of war-related abuse has driven his body to grow thin with age (thinner than normal), and his muscles have withered away. His face-tentacles look more prominent due to his thin body. He has scars all over his body from different war-related injuries, including the bullet wound on the right hand side of his lower back from the ‘lucky shot’ before ‘The Charge of Bunker D-14’.

MENTAL HANDICAP (IF ANY): Senility (prone to memory loss, fits of rage, etc).

SUMMARISATION: A good slig, but not too good in physical combat due to his muscle loss and old age. Used to be above exceptional during the ‘D&M’ war, and seems to have lived his life to the full, bullet wounds and all. His body is now taking the severe toll.

DEMISE: Dran died in his sleep in bunker #049 and was discovered by the bunker’s inhabitants. He seems to have died peacefully, which he deserved no doubt.

-----

Farlin’s profile:

NAME: Farlin.

RACE: Slig.

CURRENT AGE: 15

OCCUPATION(S): Slig Barracks recruit for 4 years.
Slig Barracks corporal for 3 years.
Slig Barracks sergeant for 4 years.
Slig Barracks captain for remaining 4 years.

LIKES: War tactics, inspiring his platoon.

DISLIKES: ‘Dirty’ fighting, cowards.

FEARS: Glukkon power, his platoon being decimated.

BOSS: General Dripik.

CHARACTERISTICS: Very loyal to Slig Barracks with a courageous heart to match. Farlin never says ‘no’ to any order, no matter how much it affects his personal safety, but he isn’t filled with enough visions of grandeur to send his platoon into a suicide mission. He is also a bit sharper than most sligs.

DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC(S): Incredibly brave and at the same time selfless.

DREAMS: He dreamt of leading his platoon into the battle that would win the ‘D&M’ war.

MOOLAH EARNED PER WEEK: 200 (But during the war: 100).

RANK: Captain.

PAST EXPERIENCES: One of his most noted feats of bravery was ‘The Charge of Bunker D-14’, where he reportedly stood tall in the firing line, and ordered to sound the charge for his platoon to take the fight to the Maylon sligs trench. It would have made quite a picture.

Farlin once had a full on argument with another slig captain called Cossle (the same one Nox killed in the office) in front of his platoon. They had had a disagreement over war tactics in the officers tent when both of their platoons met and set up camp. Cossle came very close to assaulting Farlin (whether he would have won is a different story), but Farlin had a little more class, and stood up to him, not being bullied into submission. Cossle could do nothing but fume and swear. Farlin reportedly laughed in his face and sat with his platoon by the campfire.

CRIMES (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER): No crimes have been reported or rumoured of being committed by Farlin. Rare for a slig.

PHYSIQUE: Farlin isn’t muscle-bound and doesn’t have skin thicker than a scrabs. Most of the time he uses his wits to get him out of a tight spot, that and the inspiration he has on his platoon to back him up. Wiry is probably the best way to describe his physique, meaning he is slender, but still quite strong.

MENTAL HANDICAP (IF ANY): None.

SUMMARISATION: If you asked anyone about captain Farlin, they would most likely tell you a tale of his bravery, loyalty or selflessness, if they had heard of him. This summarises his character best.

DEMISE: Farlin was killed 2 years into the ‘D&M’ war by a mortar round that happened to land in a ditch he was knelt in where he was radioing for help as his platoon fought fiercely on the battlefield, severely outnumbered. The mortar killed him instantly, destroying the radio also, and his platoon lost the battle, being forced to retreat suffering overwhelming casualties. Farlin’s body was never found by Slig Barracks forces (if there was anything to find), and it was rumoured that Maylon sligs hung him to a post on the very battlefield he had died on as an example, but this was a rumour that was born in the times of the ‘D&M’ war, so can most probably be dismissed as lies to conceive warmongering and hatred towards Maylon forces.

-----

Frally’s profile:

NAME: Frally.

RACE: Mudokon.

CURRENT AGE: 31

OCCUPATION(S): Splinterz labourer all his life.
(Served one week of a 5 year sentence).

LIKES: Hand sawing wood, being out in the fresh air.

DISLIKES: Splinters, and Splinterz, drinking.

FEARS: Harm coming to Lage.

BOSS: Currently captain Rolin and Sronti.

CHARACTERISTICS: Frally was a decent mudokon. Decent meaning he was fair, helpful and friendly, but is capable of defending himself. He was generally hardworking.

DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC(S): He was quite ‘jolly’ in nature and loves to play games.

DREAMS: He had a dream of escaping from Splinterz and use the woodwork skills he had gained there to build a small, wooden shack in the closest wooded area he can find for him to live in.

MOOLAH EARNED PER WEEK: None.

RANK: Inmate.

PAST EXPERIENCES: Frally was framed at Splinterz for actually escaping by a not-too-bright slig. Frally told the guards that it was ridiculous he would return to Splinterz after he had already escaped, but they were too busy struggling to get him onto the train destined for Sronti’s. He did not find out who it was that escaped and caused him to be sent to jail.

Frally first found Lage in Sronti’s prison on his first night. He found the child in an empty cell next door to his own. Thinking on his feet he immediately took the kid to his cell and then smuggled it out of there into the laundry room by bribing the laundry mudokon, saying he had a ‘special package’. He did not show the mud what it was, but moved it to the laundry room in the sheet trolley. Luckily his cell was on the ground floor. He found a hatch next to one of the vats, for what use he did not know, for the mudokon to hide in. It was quite cramped but it was all he could find. He gave the child some inmate clothing that was in the process of being cleaned, ripping the arms and legs to help fit it. He is the one who named Lage.

He was only looking after Lage for a week when he was murdered in Sronti’s prison by Rolin, captain of the guards. A mudokon threatened Frally with the apparent knowledge of his ‘special package’. It was the same mud that Frally bribed who handed out the laundry from the trolley. If Frally had thought it through and realised that the mudokon did not know about Lage, he may not have been killed, but instead he jumped in at the deep end and attacked the mudokon, obviously attempting to protect the child. This may have been a blessing in disguise, because if Nox hadn’t of found the mud he would have gone ahead with the attempted escape and possibly ended up dead, along with Rowl, Glon and Billy. Maybe fate made Frally react the way he did in order to save 4 lives in return for 1 death, rather than the other way around. See Demise below.

CRIMES (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER): 2 fighting offences.
2 escape attempts.

PHYSIQUE: Frally was quite tough, seeing as he has worked at Splinterz all his life, lugging around logs, planks and sawing wood. His hands prove this by having many calluses and saw scars. He has a thumb missing on his right hand having sawn it off accidentally with a circular saw. He almost bled to death from such a simple wound, due to the ignorance and cruelty of the slig guards there at the time.

MENTAL HANDICAP (IF ANY): None.

SUMMARISATION: Frally was a good, hardworking person. He would always be more than willing to help you and up for a game of cards, as long as it was after hours. He was in no way bitter, even though he was in a very bad place when he died. No matter what life threw at Frally, he just laughed.

DEMISE: Frally was involved in a fight with another mudokon (who handed out the laundry from the trolley in Sronti’s prison) over a dispute concerning Lage. He seemed to be beating his opponent when the mudokon stabbed Frally in the stomach with a homemade shiv. Frally reeled in pain and was more a less incapacitated by it until Rolin arrived with CO’s and performed a ‘mercy’ killing. It has been confirmed that what he did is classed as murder, but it is not being pursued thanks to Sronti.
Reply With Quote
  #85  
05-20-2009, 01:58 AM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

Wow, I had no idea each biographies would be that long. That's some real dedication to characters that you have
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live

Reply With Quote
  #86  
05-20-2009, 10:58 AM
STM's Avatar
STM
Anarcho-Apiarist
 
: Jun 2008
: Your mother
: 9,859
Blog Entries: 161
Rep Power: 27
STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)

I repped ya AlexFili! Thx MA i loved the last chapters some excellent work, I can't wait for our next piece together (yeh thats right people there's more) I hope I aint spilled too much there!

PS: MA can we put out our 1st chapters in two weeks (on Monday) since i'm at spain with a m8 for a week? ta
__________________
:
Oh yeah, fair point. Maybe he was just tortured until he lost consciousness.

Reply With Quote
  #87  
05-20-2009, 03:02 PM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

yeah we can do that Scrabtrapman, i actually need to get cracking on that story, i've only done the chapters i've PM'd you.

just PM me to remind me, i've got a memory like a seive.
Reply With Quote
  #88  
05-20-2009, 03:08 PM
AlexFili's Avatar
AlexFili
Wolvark Shooter
 
: Feb 2009
: NorthWest of England
: 3,127
Blog Entries: 78
Rep Power: 18
AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)AlexFili  (1280)

Just out of curiosity, how many biographies can we expect? What's the total look like?
BTW, since prisons sometimes have soccer teams, we could do a Sronti guards vs Keeya guards
__________________

[B]
I stream games and art now!
http://twitch.tv/ZephyrFloofyDerg
floofyderg.live


Last edited by AlexFili; 05-20-2009 at 03:11 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #89  
05-20-2009, 03:14 PM
MA's Avatar
MA
DOES NOT COMPUTE
 
: Nov 2007
: shit creek
: 5,106
Blog Entries: 10
Rep Power: 27
MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)MA  (9593)

there's 10 more, i made a profile for every single significant character in the story.

dont feel obliged to read them, just read the ones that interest you. personally i find it fascinating to look at a character's profile from a story i have read, so i can say 'oh, i remember that' or 'so thats what happened'.
Reply With Quote
  #90  
05-21-2009, 07:46 AM
STM's Avatar
STM
Anarcho-Apiarist
 
: Jun 2008
: Your mother
: 9,859
Blog Entries: 161
Rep Power: 27
STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)STM  (6435)

ok kl im almost 1/2 way through now
__________________
:
Oh yeah, fair point. Maybe he was just tortured until he lost consciousness.

Reply With Quote


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools








 
 
- Oddworld Forums - -