I Have Just Seen... IV -

Dixanadu · #**781** 02-09-2012, 08:39 AM

Chronicle.

It was pretty good.

Bye.

Sekto Springs · #**782** 02-09-2012, 09:37 AM

The trailers made it look like some kind of Akira rip-off. Is it?

Wings of Fire · #**783** 02-09-2012, 12:22 PM

I watched Redline, it was the most mediocre film I've seen in months. There was absolutely nothing to it except good animation that lacked a single grain of verisimilitude and big explosions.

Sekto Springs · #**784** 02-09-2012, 12:32 PM

:

I watched Redline, it was the most mediocre film I've seen in months. There was absolutely nothing to it except good animation that lacked a single grain of verisimilitude and big explosions.

This is pretty much the only thing I've heard about the film from everyone who has seen it.

MeechMunchie · #**785** 02-09-2012, 12:57 PM

EDIT: Should be Bits & Pieces

Dixanadu · #**786** 02-09-2012, 04:20 PM

:

The trailers made it look like some kind of Akira rip-off. Is it?

I've never seen Akira, so I can't make a comparison.

Suffice to say, they get powers, play pranks, angsty guy in the group throws a tantrum and decides to delete everything.

If Akira is like that, then yes. Twas a rip-off.

Passed what I explained, the film was put together quite well.

Sekto Springs · #**787** 02-09-2012, 04:57 PM

In Akira, only the runt of the group gets the powers. Being the angsty little cunt he is, he goes kind of power mad and uses his telekinesis to destroy the city because he feels like it.

I doubt Chronicle ends with Andrew turning into a giant mutated demigod though.

MA · #**788** 02-09-2012, 05:16 PM

i'd like to see Monstrous Discrepancies.

MeechMunchie · #**789** 02-10-2012, 12:07 AM

:

i'd like to see Monstrous Discrepancies.

>:(

Dixanadu · #**790** 02-10-2012, 03:08 AM

:

I doubt Chronicle ends with Andrew turning into a giant mutated demigod though.

No, he gets killed by a statue because he forgot to THRAW UP AH BARRYER

Ridg3 · #**791** 02-10-2012, 06:14 AM

I seen 'Legendary' over the weekend.

Bad film. Very bad film. But I liked it regardless. It was just full of that cheese and shit that I just lap up in films. One of my favorite parts was when they thought they could make high school wrestling looking as manly as possible by throwing John Cena into it.

Another one of my favorite parts was this whenever your young fella loses and Cena dramatically falls to his knees in anguish. All in all a shit film and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Unless you like poo films, then you'll love it.

Also, Harsh Times. It was a less gay version of Brokeback Mountain with more guns, drugs and urban surroundings. This one I did legitimately enjoy. It was a good film.

Mac Sirloin · #**792** 02-10-2012, 05:29 PM

:

In Akira, only the runt of the group gets the powers. Being the angsty little cunt he is, he goes kind of power mad and uses his telekinesis to destroy the city because he feels like it.

I doubt Chronicle ends with Andrew turning into a giant mutated demigod though.

As far as I've heard there's no cyborg baby monster.

Sekto Springs · #**793** 02-10-2012, 06:24 PM

I'm pretty sure they won't include that in the remake either (if it ever gets made), since they're gunning for a PG-13 rating. You know, so they can artfully negate any impact the original's accurate portrayals of street violence and visceral horror ever had.

Speaking of watered down garbage, I'm watching the new The Thing movie as we speak. So far, I've been blown away by how unimpressive it is. More to come when it's over, but I'm not holding out high hopes for this one.

Dixanadu · #**794** 02-10-2012, 09:11 PM

Ugh.

I had watched scary movies before but none did it; more jumpy than anything. Then, my dad sat me down and simply said, 'watch this'. The film was 'The Thing', I was about 15, and it did scare the fuck out of me.

But, I still did enjoy it. It was the fright-factor. My dad introduced me to a series of backseat horrors that I found both scary and enjoyable.

My dad knows his horrors. I would also like to add he despises any horror film released in the past 10 years. He is quite simply, a very bad man.

Sekto Springs · #**795** 02-10-2012, 10:12 PM

The original movie was amazing. This piece of shit played the horror tropes so straight, I was surprised there wasn't a scene where someone closes the medicine cabinet and sees the Thing standing behind them in the mirror.

It felt very much like Evil Dead 2, or even the Ghostbusters video game, in that the first half was just a remake of the original. It didn't try to go in it's own direction until 2/3rds of the cast was already dead.

The CG was awful, and left me yearning for the nausea-inducing visuals in the original. Speaking of that, there was almost no gore or swearing in this movie at all. It's like the filmmakers were going for a PG rating, but had one controversial image too many, and ended up with a movie that felt PG-13 but could only be marketed to half that audience.

There were also so many missed opportunities in this movie that my balls could not be bluer:

- Making the protagonist a female could have worked if she wasn't duller than a cardboard spoon and they had cast just a little bit older.

- If they did a bait and switch where the protagonist turned out to be the Thing, that would have been a pretty great twist and would have made the film an iota better.

- They should have left out the monster sounds when she burns the last guy at the end, and made it ambiguous as to whether or not he was the Thing. That would have been more congruous with the original, which had a greater focus on paranoia, isolationism, and mistrust.

If you're going to watch this movie, save your time and just re-watch the original. It's the same movie, only better.

And no, I didn't bother putting spoiler tags. This movie is too retarded for me to care.

Dixanadu · #**796** 02-10-2012, 10:25 PM

Chris, why the FUCK are you not a film critic?

Sekto Springs · #**797** 02-10-2012, 11:09 PM

Because the internet is already saturated with self righteous critics and their opinionated review blogs. Typically "critics" are snotty cunts who only do it because they're not actually good at anything.

I don't think I'd post these little reviews anywhere but here, but thanks for the vote of confidence

Dynamithix · #**798** 02-10-2012, 11:30 PM

Oh c'mon, the new The Thing wasn't that bad. And why was the CG so bad, the thing itself looked pretty creepy imo.

MeechMunchie · #**799** 02-11-2012, 06:20 AM

Yes, yes it was.

Sekto Springs · #**800** 02-11-2012, 07:59 AM

:

Oh c'mon, the new The Thing wasn't that bad. And why was the CG so bad, the thing itself looked pretty creepy imo.

I'm pretty sure it was exactly as bad as I said it was. But you're entitled to your opinion. EVEN IF IT'S COMPLETELY WRONG!!!!!

MeechMunchie · #**801** 02-11-2012, 09:31 AM

That's not condescending enough. I alway preferred: "It's all right, you don't have to believe the truth".

Wings of Fire · #**802** 02-11-2012, 09:41 AM

New season of Spartacus is really heating up as of ep 3.

Bullet Magnet · #**803** 02-11-2012, 03:50 PM

Only episode 3, eh? Most stuff these days waits at least ten episodes for anything to happen.

Sekto Springs · #**804** 02-11-2012, 09:56 PM

I don't care what anyone says...

Seed Of Chucky is a great film.

OANST · #**805** 02-13-2012, 11:57 AM

My love for Brad Dourif forces me to not be able to have a credible opinion.

I also liked it.

Ridg3 · #**806** 02-13-2012, 12:30 PM

Is it wrong to like Riki-oh? If so, I don't ever want to be right.

Sekto Springs · #**807** 02-13-2012, 12:44 PM

:

My love for Brad Dourif forces me to not be able to have a credible opinion.

I also liked it.

When I first discovered Billy Boyd played Glen/Glenda, I shat brix.

MeechMunchie · #**808** 02-13-2012, 04:31 PM

Watching 9 again on my PC.

I don't give a fuck how contrived it is, I love this film. It's got more character in the first 10 minutes than most animated films achieve in an hour.

Making it at least 500% better than the average animated film. You can't argue with maths.

Crashpunk · #**809** 02-14-2012, 06:36 AM

Anyone who has Sky might know of a series called Mad Dogs. It's about a group of long-time friends who end up in really complex situations and getting caught up in the world of crime and police corruption after being invited to their old friend's villa in Majorca and witnessing him getting murdered.

The show stars some of the most brilliant British actors including John Simm, Philip Glenister (Anyone who's seen Life on Mars will recognize them) Marc Warren and Max Beesley.

It actually makes you think what would you and your friends do in these situations. I highly recommend it.

Dixanadu · #**810** 02-14-2012, 07:47 PM

:

Watching 9 again on my PC.

I don't give a fuck how contrived it is, I love this film. It's got more character in the first 10 minutes than most animated films achieve in an hour.

Making it at least 500% better than the average animated film. You can't argue with maths.

Gawd damn, that film was awesome. I went into the cinema to see it (11.09.09) not the 9th, since I had no money.

I haven't seen it since then, but at first I thought...right...another Pixar-ish movie, but... I actually enjoyed it. It seemed more tailored toward a mature audience.