Peter Chimaera

Dixanadu · #1 05-09-2009, 12:42 AM

Okay, I wasn't sure where to post this thread; Non-Oddworld Art & Literature since I am talking about a fanfiction author here, or Off-Topic since I'm not actually submitting any of my work. At any rate, I'll let the mod's decide.

Anywho. Yes, Peter Chimaera, has anyone heard of him at all? Apparantly, the best fanfiction writer ever.

I'll paste you his very first fanfic, a Doom one:

John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.

---

And that's it. Now, there's a lot of mixed opinions on him.

1.) Learn better English.
2.) Stop trolling.
3.) OMG that was epic rofllmaolol xDDD

The one that gets me, is that apparantly he does this on purpose because he's bending the English language and creating a scene that many of us overlap. Frankly, I think his stories are hilarious.

So, has anyone heard of him? The whole 'Then ___ was a zombie' must've came to mind?

Strike Witch · #2 05-09-2009, 01:08 AM

OddjobAbe · #3 05-09-2009, 06:53 AM

Not even Edgar Allen Poe himself could come up with such a gripping and suspenseful tale.

I must get back into Doom, actually.

Mac Sirloin · #4 05-09-2009, 08:33 AM

Yeah, you sure have proven yourself to be anything but an inane dumbfuck.

Tried looking at the Bits and Pieces thread? Goddamn.

AlexFili · #5 05-09-2009, 08:43 AM

You are joking right? That is worse than the Doom movie! Bad grammar, poor narrative, no characterisation... This is a kids standard of writing. Even the `twist` at the end couldn't save it from tedium.

How old was he when he wrote it? I hope his other work is much better.

MA · #6 05-09-2009, 08:55 AM

you just gave Hobo another reason to ban you, Dixanadu.

AGAIN.

Wings of Fire · #7 05-09-2009, 09:08 AM

Methinks this is probably blog material, not Bits & Pieces seeing as that's just for one shot videos with no discussion, if you actually want a discussion about this guy without everyone jumping on the rageface bandwagon then I suggest you post it on a doom forum or take a chance and post it as a blog.

Alternatively you could make a thread about bad fanfiction in general, but that could get ugly fast.

Mac Sirloin · #8 05-09-2009, 09:13 AM

:

Methinks this is probably blog material, not Bits & Pieces seeing as that's just for one shot videos with no discussion, if you actually want a discussion about this guy without everyone jumping on the rageface bandwagon then I suggest you post it on a doom forum or take a chance and post it as a blog.

Alternatively you could make a thread about bad fanfiction in general, but that could get ugly fast.

It's funny since the Doom Fanfictions don't even compare to Squirrelking.

Pilot · #9 05-09-2009, 09:22 AM

I think it was here that someone posted a classic Half life video off of youtube that was done after a very poorly written half life fanfiction. Damn thing read just like that.

There was a bathtub on wheels and exorbitant numbers of flips being done in the air while jumping off a building. And all to the tune of that 'beatnik' Ren and Stimpy music.

EDIT: Found it.

Mac Sirloin · #10 05-09-2009, 09:23 AM

:

I think it was here that someone posted a classic Half life video off of youtube that was done after a very poorly written half life fanfiction. Damn thing read just like that.

There was a bathtub on wheels and exorbitant numbers of flips being done in the air while jumping off a building. And all to the tune of that 'beatnik' Ren and Stimpy music.

Half Life: Full Life Consequences.

By the aforementioned Squirrelking.

Anonyman! · #11 05-09-2009, 01:33 PM

Why does this thread exist?

Strike Witch · #12 05-09-2009, 02:06 PM

My video was better.

Because it was actually published as a comic.

SligCabaret · #13 05-09-2009, 03:21 PM

Has noone here read My Immortal? Not to mention a delightful Naruto/Winx Club crossover I had the pleasure to read at one point...

Nemo · #14 05-09-2009, 03:42 PM

AND THE PANTS WERE DEAD

Mac Sirloin · #15 05-09-2009, 04:25 PM

Notice how John Freeman shoots the cop before he finds wepon? Curioser and curioser!

Nemo · #16 05-09-2009, 06:03 PM

Birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky.

Mac Sirloin · #17 05-09-2009, 07:37 PM

And of course

ZOMBIE GOASTS LEAVE THIS PLACE

Nemo · #18 05-10-2009, 07:37 AM

Thanks i could help bro

Dixanadu · #19 05-10-2009, 09:16 AM

And then they laughed.