InB4 accusations of self insertion.

[Mac Sirloin]

I want to right something neat, but I'm not sure how long I'll keep with updating it, anyway, here's something:


It's funny how people never really give the thought that the best villains don't rely on Super Powers; The Joker and Lex Luthor come to mind. I mean, here's two guys on complete opposite ends of the specturm; The Joker's top dog in the criminal underworld, whereas Luthor's a respected businessman. Both are arch enemies to some of the most well known superheroes, but they're always foiled. That's what bugs me about The City, we've got a compendium of some of the smartest villains who ever escaped from a federal prison, and yet the spotlight falls on dumbfucks like Coldar and Lieutenant Slamtastic. Those two just follow what they're told. They live in nice homes in center City and do what they're told. Makes me goddamn sick. The ultimate and hypocritic irony, of course, is that I'm the most well known 'hero' here, and I hate being nice. every chance I get to be a dick, I be one, and every time a civillian tells me I'm a bad role model, I turn my arms into giant penises and chase them for 10 minutes. My name is Kastere.

I don't know where my name came from. I didn't land here in an inter-planetary pod, It's not some combination of two existing words, I just call myself Kastere. There's no one-way to pronounce it either, I'm not picky. People who labellled me a hero obviously have a loose definition of the term. Sure, I help people, but I'm also a kleptomaniacal sub-sadist who would much rather spend a night with The Joker than Coldar, heh. I often cavort with the other side of the law. Just because somebody's crazy doesn't mean they aren't interesting. I remember there was this time where I heard about some Mad Scientist planning on destroying the moon with a laser or something. I race over and find a hero on this guy. Some run of the mill Boyscout type, too. Anyway, I smack around this hero a little, jettison him from the enticing cliftop lair, and have a talk with the scientist. I don't ask him to not shoot the moon, it wasn't my business. I just talk with him, get his opinion on the state of the world and hero kind. Eventually he asks me if I'm going to take him to prison. I thought about this, too; Wondered if I should, or if he deserved it. I told him there was no need as he hadn't actually done anything wrong, I told him he hgad a nice house, and to come see mine sometime. Let me tall you, the term 'Mad' scientist isn't taken literally enough. Yes, 'mad' as in crazy, but this guy was hardly crazy, he was just tired of the state of the world; Mad with it. This little bout of reaching out to him, not on an intellectual level, or on any 'superior to inferior' level. I had a conversation. Ten minutes of lating out his frustrations saved a heavy weight on his concsience and possibly billions of lives. This other hero, though, from earlier? He goes and bitches and moans to whoever a being with superpowers tattles to, and they tell me I was wrong to stop him since he was doing 'the greater good'. So what does this scientist do? He tells them that I'm more of a hero and I didn't even use my powers, tells them that if I hadn't shown up it's likely he could've ended up severaly hurt. I'm not saying that there isn't a time for action, but this guy was so fargone in his plan that he had created an auxillary evice that would activate the laser if he died. I still talk to him, as a matter of fact, although now he works at a University.

I always love telling stories about villains, but I think it's time I told you about myself. You've got my name, so that's covered, but most readers like to read about hero powers, right? Well, from what I know, my main power is personal molecular reshapement and conversion, or, I can change my arms and legs into anything I want, as long as I have some kind of understanding of its properties or basic mechanisms. As far as I can tell, I have super strength, and sub-super agility. I can't fly without using my first power or some other kind of assistance, but I can jump very far. I'm seemingly unkillable, although I can be hurt by conventional weapons, but most low-powered firearms don't seem to do anything. Some people have questioned how I can produce bullets from the limbconveted fire arms, or produce weapons. As far as I can tell, if I eat, I can make bigger conversions and produce ammunition.

I'm sure why I look why I do;I mean, boxy fingers and weird funnel arms, and my cubish head doesn't help. I don't have a nose, but I can smell, and I can see normally even though I don't have any pupils. I've classified myself as a cartoon character, to piss of pretentious science-types and the media.

Well? What does OWF think? Next chapter will have Hero/Kastere ineractions, hitting on fans, and a brief look at Kasteres house.