Middlesboogie's handy guide to maintaining a healthy level of insanity
Yes, now you too can be just like me!
End every sentence with 'in accordance with the prophecy'.
Skip instead of walk.
Smile. All the time. Unceasingly.
In the memo space of your cheque stubs, write 'because I felt like it'.
Walk backwards to school/college/work, and say 'bye!' to all your freinds that you pass along the way.
Fill the coffee machines of your workplace with decaf for three weeks. When everyone has got over from their cafeine addiction, replace decaf with espresso.
Look for hairs on the palm of your hand.
Find hairs on the palm of your hand.
Talk to your pet.
Discover that it talks back!
Make up imaginary words and drop them into conversation.
Believe that doing so makes you sound intelligent.
Enjoy the smell of your own farts.
Eat cat biscuits and enjoy them (the rabbit-flavoured ones taste like Twiglets but saltier and with less Marmite!)
Collect milk-bottle tops.
Swing from chandeliers.
Run the wrong way up/down escalators.
Dance in the street.
When introduced to somebody, look at them quizzically and then ask them 'didn't we meet in the army once?'
When phoning for a pizza, give them your address first, then when they ask which pizza you want, say 'oh, just surprise me!' and hang up.
Laugh when there's nothing funny.
Floss with pink ribbon.
Refuse to eat anything that is not a certain colour.
Wet yourself laughing.
Never break eye contact.
Growl and bark at dogs.
Talk about yourself in the third person.
__________________
Hand me my flamethrower... it's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker'.
Thats cool Laugh when theres nothing funny thats my fav
__________________
The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. -- Jack Handy
That stuff only happens in the movies. -- Famous Last Words
Your forgot, talk to George Washington and telling to cross the Delaware! And your mom is like, who are you talking to? And you say George Washington mom, we are going to cross the delaware! And your mom's like ....right and calls the shrink!
Oh, and don't forget to jump on people's heads and convincing everyone that you are Uncle Sam's sister in law and wearing american clothes of red, white, and blue and stars! I do that all the time. "I an Uncle Sam's sister-in-law! Bwaahahahaah!
My official greeting to anyone new is to say hello, announce myself, and then end in "in time you will learn to fear me." Scares people away pretty easily!
__________________
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Logic and rational thought are much like tools. While they are helpful in many situations, they do not always apply.
OK. First you need to know the adresses and phone numbers of two random people (not people who know you). Then, call one and yell "YOU'RE A JACKASS!!!" and hang up. Do the same thing to the other person. Keep doing that until they are really mad. Then, next time you call them, don't hang up. They'll probably say something like, "I wish I could kill you". Reply "well now's your chance". Then give them the adress of the second person. Then call the second person and tell him that you're coming over. For the grand finale, beat feet over there and watch the fight ensue.
__________________ No spamming club member
Zorak: You don't want me to play ya to the desk?
Spaceghost: When have we done that??!! We've never done it that way!! And if you think you're getting sympathy from the shark, well, then you're wrong!
Originally posted by One, Two, Middlesboogie: Be obsessed with someone you've never met.
Hmmm sounds like me. I have lost count of the number of famous/semi-famous people I have loved/had crushes on. Or the couple of online boyfriends I have had who I hadn't met.
Yep, that's me alright... hey, you've gotta have someone to love.
"If that's so, I shall draw you into the darkness. Into the nightmare that forever deprives you of light, from which you can never awaken." ~ Sephiroth, Kingdom Hearts
Obsessed with J.J. Abrams!!! <3
Creator of Cloverfield, Lost, Alias and Fringe ... he's just too awesome!
Get a big garden sack, and fill it with leaves. Sit in it up to your nose and comment on the foliage.
Whenever someone walks into the room, stand up haughtily, and then say in a solemn yet huffy voice, "I am going to take a shower!". Do so. Repeat for three weeks.
Say "O! Frabjous day! Callooh Callay!" a lot.
Answer all 'why' questions with "because", and leave it at that.
Mobile phones. Enough said.
__________________
Hand me my flamethrower... it's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker'.
Okay, I guess I'm officially insane then! Insane is goooooood.... (if I had a pound for every time I shouted at the TV screen, I'd be a billionaire by now!)
[ October 09, 2001: Message edited by: Aimz the Glukkon Queen ]
Occasionally slip into a Dorset Accent at some random point during a conversation [if you are from Dorset, substitute Yorkshire]
Bounce around
If anyone ever tries to stop you doing something you want to do, just yell "Stop Patronising Me!". NB this works better if they're older than you, especially if their advice is totally sensible...
Mince
Pretend to be drunk or stoned all the time, but claim that you don't drink alcohol or smoke cannabis...
Behave like you're on a five-second delay. This isn't as easy as it sounds...
Buy a small furry finger puppet, preferably of a hedgehog. Halfway during a sentence, put your hand surreptitiously into your pocket and take out the puppet. Waggle it in the air for a few seconds, while you carry on talking as if it wasn't there, then put it back in your pocket. Don't get it out again for the rest of the day, and if someone asks you about it, pretend you don't know what they're talking about, and look at them as if they are mad...
[ October 09, 2001: Message edited by: Rettick ]
__________________
Guns don't kill people, People kill people! Using Guns.
Well, as my rule of thumb if anyone tries to tell you what to do just shout "YOU CAN"T CENSOR ME YOU PIG!!!!" Then change names and move out of state. And go into some overly creative profession (acting, art, video games). That's the best way to make crazy friends.
__________________
"To 'BOX or not to 'BOX, is that even a question?"
"OW Forums Test, All the cool kids are doing it!"
"It takes all kinds to make a world,"- Badger, Wind in the Willows http://oddworldian.net/misc/banners/FuzzyFuzzle.gif
Whenever anyone asks for something, tell them they can't handle it.
Whenever walking with a group of people, flap your arms and screech.
Regularly attempt to play musical instruments you have no experience with.
Whenever in visual range of someone you don't know, flex your muscles and go "Hoo-yagh!!"
When talking in a declaritave sentence, talk like you are asking a question.
You guys are hilarious??
[ October 09, 2001: Message edited by: Osiris The Fleech ]
__________________ No spamming club member
Zorak: You don't want me to play ya to the desk?
Spaceghost: When have we done that??!! We've never done it that way!! And if you think you're getting sympathy from the shark, well, then you're wrong!
Tell one of your friends that you adore chocolate. If they offer you any that day, accept it (if you're on a diet, substitute bread, apples, etc). The next day, if they offer you any chocolate, tell them you hate the stuff. The day after that, let them see you eating chocolate. When they say "hey, I thought you didn't like chocolate", you say "of course I like chocolate; I told you so the other day!".
That's a good laugh? I think we all should try it? (nice one Osiris!)
__________________
Hand me my flamethrower... it's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker'.
Middlesboogie's handy guide to maintaining a healthy level of insanity
I do that all the time. "I an Uncle Sam's sister-in-law! Bwaahahahaah!
