That's a pretty major accusation there, Princess.
A lot has happened in the last 3, 4 days.
My friend's uncle is dating a woman, and he brought their daughter over to my friend's house last Saturday. Later that evening, my friend was playing his PS2 game, and the girl was rummaging trough his closet for no reason but her own. She found his Playboy, and started with this "neh neh neh neh neh neh, you have a plaaaayboooy" crap. Embarrassed, my friend picked her up by the arms and moved her by the door on impulse (he's not the best at thought-before-action), and she left. He’s done that with his cousin with no problems before, and I guess he was under the impression that it was okay.
Not so. A few minutes later, he was called out to the kitchen. Apparently the girl had accused my friend of molesting her. Now, I know my friend, and have reason to doubt her claim, mainly because of his morals and past discussions on the subject. But most of all, I trust him enough to tell me the truth.
Sunday rolls by, and he calls and says he wants to talk to me, and that it’s urgent. He comes over to my house, and this is the point in which I actually hear about it. Later that day, his grandmother calls and tells him to come home. I hear it on speakerphone, and when he hangs up, he tells me that nobody believes him. Now, with anyone else, I would scoff and say, “Aw, they do too.” But I know his family, and the only person who would take his side is his dad, who was currently unavailable. I asked if I could defend him. He agreed, and we rode to his house.
I could have kept my nosey self out of it, but I’d feel like a heel if I had. And as much as I trust my friend, I don’t trust his ability to get himself out of this gracefully, at least not something of this magnitude. As much as I love the lug, he’s got the verbal and coherency skills of a twice-baked potato.
When we arrived, we sat down in the living room. The girl was there, her mother, my friend’s uncle, aunt, and grandmother. Questions were asked, stammering replies were made, and the funniest part of it was the girl’s testimony:
”Well, boys lie and girls don’t.”
O RLY?
I mentioned women’s prisons, prostitutes, and that serial killer woman who was on the news a while back. Her response was, “Yeah, well you’re fat.” I laughed so hard. “It’s so obvious that she’s innocent with such an impenetrable argument like that.” I said (maybe not in those exact words, but something to that effect).
Long story short, his grandmother sided with her grandson, and they all resolved to move on. My job assumably complete, I bid my friend a good evening and headed to Staples before they closed.
But the fun didn’t stop there. This morning, I got up and called my friend, asking him if he was available. He said that he couldn’t do anything, because the police were coming to interview him. That’s right, folks, the girl went to her father (birth father, I assume) and he called the police. So great, now the 5-0 is involved. My friend is going to be interviewed by the police, as is the girl. You can bet your ass that I’m going to testify against that little crotch-monster. But you know what's sad? People will most likely side with the sweet little girl, because something that cute and innocent couldn't possibly lie, right?
Hopefully they’ve got enough sense in their heads to see the facts:
-If she was being molested, I mean TRULY being molested, she would have screamed, yelled, made some kind of alarmed/fearful noise.
-Her story on the incident has changed 4-5 times now, each one more severe than the last, while my friend has stayed the same. Now, I'm no lawyer, but if person one only has one solid story, and person two has four different stories, chances are we've already weeded out the liar.
Just one headache after another, I tell you.
I don’t apologize at all for the long thread. It will ensure that I get some good, honest opinions from intelligent people.
UPDATE!
Well, I can’t confirm this until I hear it from someone other than my friend, but he says that they’re being taken to court by the girl’s parents. I mean, come on!! Did this girl get a physical? I mean, they haven’t even interviewed them yet! The girl’s story has more holes in it than a colander, yet these parents still resolve to make my friend look as bad as they can make him look. I sincerely hope this doesn’t get out to the press. You know how those scandal-happy media junkies handle things like this. “How could a sweet little girl lie about this? The big, intimidating one MUST have done it, I mean… look at him! He’s got the perfect mug for a child molester, and that’s what the network wants!”
Oh, you bet your collective asses I'll be there. I’m trying to convince my friend to allow me to testify on his behalf, or at least have a seat as a spectator. I know this little cuntbag’s case has less chance than an orca in a kiddie pool, but I’m still worried. This is my closest friend we’re talking about here!
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. But yeah, you'll probably have to put up with a bloody biased court judgement. Hopefully it'll rule insufficient evidence.
